“Sometimes it is not all about you”


My friend Kaylene told me this once and I must confess it took me quite some time to appreciate the full value of this statement. She said “Neil, sometimes it is not all about you”. My first reaction was what the hell are you talking about? I’m telling you about a problem that I have, of course it is all about me! The truth of what she was trying to say is we never really know the full extent of all the variables in the situation. If we offer a friend some gentle constructive criticism and they explode, you may leave thinking “was I do tough in my review?” “what did I say wrong” Truth is your friend may have very well appreciated your honesty, but maybe they had just been yelled at by their spouse for the same thing. Maybe it is a subject they are very sensitive on that you never knew. Truth is their anger may have little or nothing to do with you. If you respond with a harsh statement yourself such as “Don’t be a jerk, I was just trying to help you” it may damage the friendship beyond repair. Even when being left by a lover, or being dismissed from a job, we must remember it may not mean we are a bad lover or employee. If you know you have given your best and it still hasn’t worked out, remember there are lots of other factors we must consider. Try as we might we cannot control as much of the outside aspect of our lives as we may desire to do. So when life seems to be handing you more lemons than you could ever make into lemonade just remember, “It’s not all about me” This also works on the flip side. When you succeed in any endeavor it is seldom all about you as well. Sure feel proud, as you should. Just be sure to give thanks, even if only internally, to all those who may have taught or supported you. Take your fair share of responsibility but remember as my wise Aussie friend says, “Sometimes it is not all about you”

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