Tag: Worry

POWERFUL, SIMPLE BUT A GREAT CHALLENGE 

What I’m about to share with you is something that can have a tremendous effect on your life. It is simple and may in fact be something you already know. this simple thing, however, is very difficult to master. 

I am often asked for the ‘secret’ to my happy life. How in the face of challenges do i more often than not remain positive. It is through this practice, of which i am still working on, that my inner peace and positivity have been developed. 

Before i share exactly what it is i strive to do, please allow me to put forth a question. Do you know someone, perhaps the person in the mirror who often finds themselves overwhelmed and burned out by their daily lives? Do you also know someone who is always full of life and eager for what is next? In life most of us have experienced a little bit of both. Sadly, most of us live in the former. 

So how do we fill our life with passion and energy? The answer is at once both simple and perhaps our greatest challenge. In a nutshell there are only 2 thought patterns worth spending our daily energy on. 

First is the present moment and what good we can find in it. This provides its own challenge especially in difficult situations. Staying present can at once allow us to savor good moments and put challenging ones in perspective . 

The second thought pattern is what can i do in the near future to create the outcome i desire or at least move closer to it. 

The past has its purpose in teaching us and noticing patterns of behavior , but to dwell and live in the past (the ‘if only’ thought pattern) robs us of our present moment and the opportunities of joy it contains. Not to mention there is no transformational value to Dwelling on the past. No matter how much we cry over spilled milk it will not put it back in the glass. 

The same holds true with living in the future. True, it is important to know where we want to go and to set goals. Even taking brief trips to the future to visualize what we want to happen is helpful. Then it is time to return to the present and take actions that will lead us in that direction. Living in the future  (the ‘i will be happy when’ pattern of thinking) also robs of the joy in the present moment. 

When sharing this with a recent coworker she remarked how difficult this can be. The passing of loved ones, trouble at work,  an impending divorce all take our attention elsewhere. Momentarily that is ok, but spending a great deal of time there drains our emotional energy and leaves us little if anything to show for it. 

Is this easy? Not at all. In fact daily i am still working on it. One thing is for sure, it is worth it.  When you find yourself able to stay present and focused you will experience a sense of inner peace and joy that is hard to explain. I  welcome your ideas for staying present and limiting worry in the comments below 

IT IS WORSE THAN WASTING TIME

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I am a firm believer in the terrible effects of worry. Many things have been said about the practice of worry and I would like to share some with you now. Early on one of my favorite things I heard about worry is that it is like riding an exercise bike, you get really tired but do not go anywhere. Think of the productive aspect of worry, is there any? Another thing I have heard that I thought powerful was worry not only disturbs our present, but steals our future. It is true. If you spend your time in worry, you are taking time away from productive things you could be doing. The final two things I would like to share with you are this. According to Bob Marley, Complaining and worry are prayers to the devil. Also, worry is mentally rehearsing what we don’t want to happen. If you know anything about the law of attraction it is that thoughts become things, and if your thoughts are focused on that which you do not wish to happen you are giving that all of your energy.

Studies have proved that a full 90% of what we worry about are things we should not be. Things in the past that cannot be changed, useless petty worries and things of the like. So do yourself a favor, use worry to take all the action you can to prepare or address a situation and then let it go. You will lose that knot in your stomach. That feeling of dread and weight you carry around on your shoulders. Try to eliminate worry as much as you can this coming week and see how you feel.

A DIFFERENT KIND OF PRAYER…

Yesterday we spoke of challenges and seeing them as opportunities.  Let me tell you, I sure got some practice at that today.  Life is an amazing practice ground for maintaining a positive lifestyle.  In addition to all things at my job at the post office. I discovered my aunt had lost her job and my uncle who is recovering from a serious injury may have taken a step back at least emotionally.  In fact, it may even be affecting his relationship with his wife.  Now, all these things are stressful. Most of them are either completely out of my control or involve the variable of other people and their personalities. So while speaking with my mother about this and hearing some of the challenges she encountered today we found ourselves discussing all the things and people we were concerned about.  In this case ‘concern’ could be a quick replacement for worry.  Well I am a firm believer in the law of attraction and focusing on other people’s problems, even if it is with the intent to solve them just sends more negative energy to the situation.  It was then I remembered an idea I had read in a book I just finished. When there is a person with a problem, be it you or someone you care about, instead of focusing on their problem I have a solution that will not only help them I believe but it will feel better for you.  In fact, I would go so far as to say it would feel good. That is exactly what I am talking about here. Say we are worried about a person who lost a job. Instead of focusing on how they must be worried about being able to pay the bills, and how hard it is to find a job, do something a bit more constructive.  Close your eyes and picture that person in a job they enjoy being paid a decent wage.  Feel their happiness and send them your happiness as well. Then, and this is very important, feel gratitude for that situation turning out for everyone’s good.  Really feel it. Do this every time worry rears its ugly head. It won’t be easy, but it will make you feel better.  If this is for somebody else and you think they would be receptive, encourage them to do the same. Then calmly keep your eyes open for that job. It can work with an illness too. Picture the person, or yourself, healthy.  Don’t say “I’m thankful that illness is gone”  instead say “I am thankful to see Kim healthy and happy” or Bob or Tom or…well you get the idea. The important thing here is the emotion. Really feel the joy, really feel the gratitude.  You will feel better and you will be sending a lot better energy out to the world. Will it work? I believe it will. Not to mention it will feel a lot better than worry. Oh and if you want to be happy and grateful for my new-found wealth I would be ok with that too. Stay positive and stay grateful my friends!

THE POSITIVE POWER OF NEGATIVE THINKING…

At first glance this may seem like a paradox.  After all, how can negative thinking be anything but…well negative?  Let’s face it, positive thinking can empower us to do a lot of things.  Being positive minded 100% of the time is not only unrealistic, but not very healthy for growth either.  I would say a good healthy mix is 95/5.  So why are negative feelings so ‘good’ for us.  They can serve to vital and very important purposes.  First, they let us know what is not working.  There is something in our life that is currently not meeting our standards.  Why is this important?  Let me explain it with a situation we can all relate to, going to the doctor.  Why do you go to the doctor?  The answer usually is “because something is wrong”.  Noticing this means you have had bad physical feelings.  Whether they are nausea, pain, or some other not so pleasant feeling it let you know something is not as it should be.  If you are anything like me the very next question to the doctor is “How can we make this go away?”.  That leads us to the second great thing negative feelings can do for us.  They can motivate us into action.  In the case of the doctor visit, to do what actions are necessary to heal our condition.  The same holds true for any condition in life.  If we notice something in our life is causing us a noticeable amount of grief, get excited!  Excited about grief Neil?  Are you crazy?  Well, yes I am crazy, but here is why you should get excited.  Our bodies are designed to use feelings as warning signs.  Such as pain so you don’t leave your hand on the hot stove, or nausea so you don’t keep drinking the expired milk.  These may seem like a pain at first, after all who likes to burn their hand?  Yet if we didn’t have the pain we could leave our hand on the stove until it cooks right off.  Interesting thing is our minds do the same thing.  Ever wonder why certain things make you feel sad or angry.  That is our mind and spirits way of telling us something is wrong with them.  It is a warning sign, just like the burn on the hand.  We must decide what is causing this upset and act to correct it.  Now here is where negative emotions can be a double edge sword.  When trying to discover what would work to eliminate our discomfort we must think in a positive, solution oriented frame of mind.  For example, I had a friend who had recently given her all into a relationship that she felt had true potential, but when push came to shove the man she was in a relationship with did not feel the same.  I heard her utter phrases like “I’m never going to get into a relationship again, that way I won’t get hurt again”  Haven’t we all felt this way at one point or another?  I know I have.  In this situation she was willing to sacrifice all the pleasure a healthy relationship could provide her to escape the pain of another possible unhealthy one.  This may seem like a solution on the surface, but what it really amounts to is giving up.  If there is one thing you don’t want to give up on it is your own life.  So make negative emotions our servants, not our masters.  Let us use them for clarity and motivation, but not dwell in them.  So next time you find yourself upset, remember the positive power of negative thinking!

LIVE IN THE MOMENT…OR THEN AGAIN, MAYBE NOT..

One of the biggest obstacles to people living a happy life is they are never really in it.  They either spend too much time regretting and reliving the past, or even worse, worrying and dreading what might happen in the future.  I am a big fan of setting the past free, and not worrying about things that ‘might’ happen.  I did find one interesting caveat to this theory.  When we focus on ‘what is’ it becomes really hard to get to where we want to be.  How many times have we said to ourselves “I really feel fat, I need to lose some weight” Only to find our efforts end in vain?  Have you ever looked at a stack of bills thinking “I really have to get this budget under control” only to end up more in debt at the end of the next month?  The reason for this and the solution is rather quite simple.  I must confess it escaped me until earlier this evening.  While spending time debating if my current job is for me and if I will be able to handle the upcoming challenges considering how overwhelmed I am already feeling, the answer came to me.  I was focusing too much on what is!  How could we ever expect to achieve weight loss when starting with feeling fat?  You can not achieve financial well-being out of thoughts of poverty.  Instead we should spend a good 5 to 10 minutes a day doing something most of us haven’t done since childhood.  Daydream! That’s right put the power of our imagination to work for us instead of against us!  When we were young we dreamed of all the great things we would do when we grew up.  We pictured what our life would be like.  Here is the important part, when we pictured that we were filled with all the excitement and emotion that we would feel when that situation came to pass.  Then as we grew up our imagination changed.  We wonder what will happen if I lose my job?  How will I pay the bills?  What will life be like looking for a job in this economy?  We also fill it with all the feelings of worry and dread that go along with that situation.  Either way we are drawing what we are picturing with such intense emotion into our life. So do yourself a favor, become a kid again!  Imagine how it would feel to win the lottery.  How it would feel if your job was thrilling and enjoyable.  Picture it, but more important, feel it!  Take yourself on a mini mental vacation.  I would type more on this idea, but my flight to my mental vacation is boarding as we speak!

GET OFF THE EXERCISE BIKE!!

Exercise is a great stress reliever, health and life improver.  So why would a site dedicated to living a positive rewarding life tell you to get off the exercise bike.  Well I am speaking metaphorically.  I once heard it said “Worrying is like riding an exercise bike, you get really tired, but you do not get anywhere”.  Working with the public affords me a great opportunity to experience a great cross-section of people.  Do you know what I noticed?  People worry far too much.  I found this stat about what people worry about very interesting.

Of all the things that we do worry about

things that never happen 40%

things over and past that can’t be changed 30%

needless worries about our health 12%

petty miscellaneous worries 10%

real legitimate worries 8% Continue reading “GET OFF THE EXERCISE BIKE!!” →