If you have been in the self-improvement arena for any length of time, you have undoubtedly seen this picture. It is worth another reminder here at the midweek point. We never know how close we are. Our goal may just be one more away.
This could be one more call, one more email. At the gym it could be one more workout before we start seeing and feeling the results. In our relationship, it could be one more “I love you” to melt the heart of the one we love. Don’t give up! Remember, results could be one more away.
I was never friends with Bob Marley. He died when I was 5. I feel like we would have had a lot to talk about. Although his recreational habits may differ from mine, a lot of his life philosophy really falls in line with what we discuss here. Take this quote above discussing greatness. He uses the word ‘man’ but it applies to everyone. Many people who are determined to be great focus on all of the wrong things. They do their best to acquire wealth, fame or power. What they should really be focused on is developing character, integrity and positively affecting others.
When you become focused on bettering yourself and being a source of positive influence to others and those you care about, the world will see you as great. If you have a wealthy friend, but you know them to be dishonest and they won’t even return your calls, would you consider them great? I know I wouldn’t. However, if you had a friend that was poor, or did not have many friends or social media followers, but was always there to lend a hand or even to just listen, would you consider them a great individual? I think it would be safe to say that answer is yes.
All this is not to say that you shouldn’t pursue goals or chase your dreams in life. It is good to better your plot in life. It is more important to better yourself if you truly want to be great. By doing so, your plot in life will often follow in its improvement. We should all strive to be great and do so by becoming the best version of us that we can.
Friday, we made it through another week! In all of our lives we have those monsters. It could be a demanding boss. It could be that relative that looks down on us. Anyone in our lives looking for us to fail. Those who are jealous of us. Those who are just unhappy with their own lives. Maybe it is just our inner demons, telling us we can’t succeed.
Like Frank Sinatra said, “The best revenge is massive success.” Of blue eyes was on to something there. Smiling in the face of any monster, be it internal or external, is the greatest victory. You might be asking, “Neil, what if my week was not a success?” Great question. Even if your week has been a total dumpster fire, you are still here. You made it through and there is still the potential for success.
Earl Nightingale gave us this definition of success, “success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal.” The key word is progressive. As long as you are still working towards your goal, YOU are a success. Enjoy your Friday. Smile at the monster.
A lot of people, I may even say most of them, have this confusing conclusion. Something they try doesn’t work out and they say out loud, and worse to themselves, “I am a failure.” Failure is an event, it is not a person.
Like almost anything in our life, the act of failing, and even the word failure, have a negative meaning. Why wouldn’t it? We want to succeed and in this case we haven’t. In some of our lives, we have decided something different. We have decided failure is not a result it is a stepping stone to greatness. Failure is a teacher of what does not work. That gets us one step closer to discovering what does. Failure can be fuel to pushing forward to never feel that way again.
How about you? What does failure mean in your life? Could the definition use an upgrade?
This weekend make sure to take time to recharge. However, be aware we also need to put in the effort. Getting ahead means doing the little extra that others won’t. That means putting in some hours at night, and yes on weekends, to pursue that big dream or goal of ours.
The level of success that we achieve has a direct correlation with the amount of effort we put in. That is ax thought worth keeping in mind this weekend. When you feel like binge watching a show, or spending all day in bed, ask yourself how successful you really want to be. If you are not looking to be that successful, than stay in front of that television or in that bed. Since you are reading a blog about the secrets to an amazing life, I’m guessing you want more. Remember, you can only achieve more, by doing more!
Success should not be something that is viewed as complicated. It really isn’t. It is also individually defined. I think this is what may lead to it being viewed as complicated. When some people think of success, they see something like the picture above in their heads. I want to take you back to the reason I started this blog in the first place. In case you are brand new here and have not read any of my previous posts or any of my books, let me tell you quickly how we got here. In three simple words – my life sucked. My job was considering downsizing me. My personal relationships were in the toilet. My finances were close behind. I found myself at a local library attempting to find information on how to turn it all around.
How did that go? Let me ask you this, have you ever been to the self-improvement section of a book store or library? Google “Self-improvement books” and see how many results you get. You would not be able to read all of the titles, much less the books, in your lifetime. I recall this only adding to my frustration at the time. In my head I screamed, “Why can’t there just be a book that would supply simple tools that the average person can use to turn their life around?” Not finding one that appealed to me started the journey of writing my first book, A Happy Life for Busy People. That book is filled with the information I wish I would have known that day at the local library.
It has been 10 years since I wrote that first book. It has been 20 years that I have been involved in the self-improvement field. To this day, I search for simple ideas that can have a radical transformation on life. It is one of those formulas I want to share with you today. To achieve success in life you really must do one thing. To learn from all situations, both good and bad. It is really that simple. As we grow and evolve in life, it requires learning from experience. When we have a good outcome, learning how we can apply that in other areas of our lives. Did it involve a certain action? Maybe a change in mindset?
Learning and appreciating the gifts that are disguised as ‘negative experiences’ is one of the more difficult, yet rewarding skills in life. We did something wrong? Great! What can we learn from that? Do we need to improve our communication skills? do we need to be more present with those we love? Can we have a better handle on our emotions? Even if we make a mistake, which we all will do, as long as we learn from it we are still going in the right direction.
Our simple formula today can be summed up as this – do more of what works and learn from what doesn’t. If we do nothing more than follow this simple formula, we will be improving and growing every day. That, my friends, is the secret to an amazing life.
Not many things frustrate or surprise me at this stage of my life. One thing that does, however, is adults perpetuate problems by their insistence to participate in them. This often infantile behavior both shocks and perplexes me. If you are in the middle of a bad situation, and you can, step away from it.
I have heard adults say things such as, “After what he said about me, I’m going to tell people things about him!” What?! Is this a childhood classroom? How about you just don’t give them anything bad to say about you? Why even care? I believe in what Frank Sinatra said. “The best revenge is massive success.” Focus on you, your life and making them both amazing. If you are busy doing that, you will have no time to care about what others are saying and doing.
As you saw in the first picture, merely being a part of a bad situation can help it to spread. Think of these situations in your own life. Are there any that you should have stepped away from? Are there any in your life you should step away from now? If you are ever thinking of revenge, remember our friend Frank, and just focus on creating massive success in your own life!
Here we are again, talking about daily habits. Why is this such a hot topic lately? It is because, as John Maxwell puts it, “The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.” We have been discussing habits, routines and daily actions a lot here lately. We have seen how a seemingly insignificant action (20 squats) done over the course of enough time (200 days) can have a huge impact. Think of turning on your facet to just barely drip. Then place a glass underneath it. By the time you wake up, you will have a nice glass of water ready to drink.
We have been using this method to accomplish things such as keeping up with a healthy fitness habit. It can be used for things far greater. Let us look at your relationships. This could be coworkers, friends, family or your intimate partner. One of the ideas we gave for sticking with your habit was to set an alarm on your phone to remind you. What if you set an alarm for 5 minutes after you left work to remind you to give your spouse a sincere compliment? What if you set it for 5 minutes before work to remind yourself to show your coworkers signs of appreciation? It may not make a difference in the short-term, but hearing a sincere compliment or appreciation will strengthen and grow that relationship. Trust me, I use this myself. I no longer need to set an alarm, as it has just become part of a daily practice. Still, it doesn’t hurt to have a reminder.
Even if your compliments fall flat. Even if your signs of appreciation may seem…well…unappreciated, the effort will not. Your daily sincere compliments or signs of appreciation, or squats for that matter, are showing that you are trying to bring a better version of you to the table. That will always make you more attractive. Not to mention those squats will do wonders for your backside! Daily habits are the key to success in any endeavor. Think of what daily habits you can use to set yourself up for success!
A few posts back, we spoke about making changes in your life. How easy it is to do a small change for a consistent period of time. In doing so, you create a major change. One of the examples we used was doing 20 squats a day. In one day, you probably would not notice a difference. In a week, you sill might not notice much, other than a soreness from using muscles that you haven’t used in a while.However, done over 200 days, which was the example we used, there would be a major difference.
Recently, someone mentioned they had forgot to stick with their squats already. This is understandable. Life is crazy for us these days. It seems we have 25 hours worth of stuff to do in 24 hours. Somewhere we also have to fit in sleeping. It is also easily correctable. There are a few things you can do that will make sticking to a routine easier than ever. The first one you might be holding in your hand right now. In fact, you could be using it to read this very post. Your cell phone. We seem to have them with us at all times. They may get in the way of healthy in person relationships, or compromise some people’s driving, but we can put them to work for us. Using the example of the squats, let us see how this is done. First, pick a time you can count on fairly regularly. Then set an alarm for that time. Most cell phones will make it a daily alarm. When the alarm goes off, you are reminded to do your squats.
Here is another great idea. Put your friends to work for you. Don’t worry, you won’t have to pay them anything. In fact, it works even better to put your critics to work for you as well. I am talking about putting yourself out there. Let everyone know what you plan to do. Tell friends and coworkers. One great way is to put it out on social media. This is kind of like throwing yourself under the bus. You are letting everyone know what you plan to do and they will be watching. Your friends to see how you are doing. Your critics to prove that you won’t stick with it. Both are good motivation.
The last idea for making it easier to stick with your goals, I do every single day. That is prepare the night before. If we wait until the action must be completed, many things can keep us from taking the actions we need. We could be pressed for time. We could not have our workout clothes clean and ready. A million valid excuses can come up. The way to beat them, and set ourselves up for success, is to prepare ahead of time. My goal was to eat oatmeal for lunch during the week. I like it with a little cinnamon and nutmeg. Occasionally, I toss some dried fruit in as well. I also get up for work at 4am. If I waited until then to pack my lunch and get my coffee together, my counter might look like the picture above. I also would probably forget the oatmeal and just stop for some unhealthy food by my work. So, I get the coffee machine all ready the night before. I get my oatmeal with the cinnamon and nutmeg ready. Even a little bag of dried fruit. Then, in the morning I just grab and go!
Sticking with goals, even small ones, can be difficult. I hope taking these steps will help you with your commitment. I know they work for me, I hope they will work for you. If you have any tricks that help you stick with your goals, please share them with us so we can all benefit.
To the more cynical of you, this notion of expecting something wonderful to happen may sound ridiculous. I can hear your voices as I type this, “Even if I do, life will still be the same.” or “Life won’t change just because I am expecting it to.” I would have to agree with both of those statements. Life happens. Flat tires happen. Turning off your alarm while you are still half asleep happens. Going to Starbucks and finding they are out of coffee happens. (this actually happened to me and I share the story in my first book) If life will not change when we alter our expectations, then why do it? That is a very fair and legitimate question. Life will not change – but our experience of life will.
When we choose to expect, and therefore focus on, the positive, that is what we see. When you are expecting something wonderful to happen, you will be better able to notice when it does. Here is the truth – almost everything that happens in our lives can be something good. We get a flat tire? We might be late, but it will give us a forced opportunity to slow down. It will give us a chance to practice our tire changing skills. Maybe it will provide us a chance to use that roadside assistance we pay for. A cavity, as painful and inconvenient as it can be, is a great reminder to take care of our teeth.
Life is not all about finding the good in the struggles. In fact, life if full of miracles! Most of them we never notice. The fact that we can use a device that fits in our pocket to serve as an alarm clock to wake us up, a source of news to keep us informed, a music player to lift our spirits, a GPS system to get us where we are going, a camera to take pictures of where we are going and a platform to tell people around the world where we have been is a miracle. How about the wind? We can use it to power our cities. It can tell us when our neighbors are grilling out. It can further our appreciation of a beautiful flower. How about our ability to communicate and encourage others, even if they are half a world away? I always enjoy my communication with my friend in Italy. He provides valuable feedback on these very posts.
The fact that our bodies can turn food, water and air into energy, thoughts and motion. It is not only a chemical process, it is nothing short of a miracle. The happy dog we see in the car next to us. The smile from a stranger, or even better yet, from someone we love. The ability to taste the food we love. The joy that comes from hearing our favorite song. The feeling of love we get when someone hugs us. You may say I am choosing to look at the world through rose-colored glasses. You may be right, but does that make any of those statements less true? How would looking at all of those things as the miracles they truly are make you feel? What if you spent an afternoon, or even an entire day, trying to spot and appreciate everything good in your life? How would you feel at the end of the day?
The cynical are right that none of this would change the world. Here is the powerful secret to an amazing life – it would change the world for you! By taking control of our focus, we have the ability to create our world. Every day something wonderful does happen to us. What happens on the days we miss it? Will there be days when we feel nothing wonderful happened? Yes, we will still have bad days. We are human. When we chose to focus on, and expect, the wonderful, those bad days will be the exception and not the rule. In my third book, I ended it with a quote from Einstein. I think it sums up what we have been discussing here today. I invite you to read and ponder it. I also invite you to take me up on that challenge of trying to find everything positive you can for an afternoon, or even an entire day.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 