Here is how to succeed no matter what the situation. Have you ever heard something like this? “My dad was an alcoholic, that is why I became one.” At the same time, have you also heard this? “My dad was an alcoholic. That is why I will never touch the stuff!” That is the negative side of things. It works the same on the flip side. There are people who succeed because they grew up in a wealthy family and learned all the important financial lessons. There are those who grew up in a wealthy family and ended up in rehab or worse because they never learned responsibility.
When you find yourself in a positive situation it can be pretty easy to learn from. Take our friend who grew up in a financially well-to-do family. He could learn how his parents managed money. He could learn investment strategies. He could learn the value of hard work. He could see the example of the power of money to provide personal freedom as well as to help others. There would be many fine examples to learn from.
What about our friend with the alcoholic father? He could learn a lot of valuable lessons as well. He could see the negative results of alcohol on both the health and relationships of his father. He could see the financial strain it can put families under. He can see the undesirable people and situations that addictions can put us in contact with. There are many lessons in struggles. He could use these as motivation to not turn out as his father did.
We are not pretending life is so black and white. Any life is seldom just a warning or an example. We can use any situation for good or for bad. The choice is ours. If we choose, and are committed to using everything to serve us, than it doesn’t matter whether that situation or person is positive or negative. We can use it to learn and to grow and move ourselves forward. That is the secret to an amazing life.
Preparation, dedication and discomfort. Those are three words not many of us like to hear much less apply. Opportunity, success and growth sound a lot better. Yet, the first is the price of the second. We do not like going to the gym, but we like to be able to make it up a flight of stairs without employing a host of sherpas. We would much rather eat pizza everyday, but it is nice to be able to fit in our clothes. We find it uncomfortable to meet strangers, but we love making new friends. One has to happen in order for the other to take place. The more we do the former, the more we receive the latter.
Understanding this simple formula will not only allow us a greater measure of success, but will also help us make it through a greater deal of challenges along the way. When you are hyperventilating on the treadmill and your mind and body are screaming for you to stop, you know eventually this will lead to a stronger heart and more energy on the back end. When you are tempted to quit hitting the books, and start hitting the clubs, remember the formula. One action gives you a diploma to hang. The other course of action leaves you with nothing more than a hangover.
In life, there are rules that if we use them, will help us to live an amazing life. Knowing the harder we work, the more successful we will become is not only an important thing, it is the only thing. The more you prepare, the better you can take advantage of opportunities. The harder you work, the more successful you will become. Sure, it may not happen as soon as you want, but it must happen. You can rest peacefully in the knowledge that your labors will lead to success. It is as simple as this formula.
The power of habits is greater than what we think. In fact, most of us do not think about habits much at all. We just do them. That is why they are called habits. One of the secrets to an amazing life is to create actions that we take on a consistent basis that we do not even have to think about. Do you know what an action that you would take on a consistent basis is called? It is called a habit! Generally, we do not actively create habits. It would seem they materialize by themselves.
What if we could create a habit, that is an action we take consistently, that would help us on a journey to becoming the best version of ourselves? That would be like putting our success on autopilot! Two of the best times to start new habits are first thing in the morning and last thing at night. The reasons should be obvious, but we will take a look at them. First thing in the morning helps craft the course of our day. If we can start off with a win, or something that puts our focus into a positive state, that will make the rest of our day more successful. Right before we sleep with have us resting with more peace and allow our subconscious mind to work on our goals while we sleep. This allows us to wake up refreshed and ready to face the day.
What new habits could you develop that would bring you closer to success? What ideas to you use that will help make your new successful habits stick? Please share with us in the comments below.
Life can really take us on a crazy ride sometimes! We can face some very difficult and interesting challenges. How do some people seem to keep going and some find it more difficult? A good deal of it breaks down to why they believe they are here. Maybe you are looking to take control of your health after years of neglect? This can be quite a difficult challenge. Especially the older we get. Maybe you want to fit into your jeans or look better at the beach. That may be enough to get you into the gym. When the doctor comes into the room and tells you that unless you make some changes, you are likely to suffer a heart attack, that will have you cleaning out the cabinets and walking to work.
It is not just the quest of improving ourselves in which a ‘why’ becomes helpful. Making through a challenge can often only be done with a strong ‘why’. The greatest example I can think of is a loss of a loved one. We may often feel like there is no way that we can see living our life without them. Knowing that there are others who both love us, and would feel the same about our loss, can keep us waking up every morning.
This is not to say that life will not be a struggle sometimes. That it can feel like the weight of the world is on our shoulders. What a strong ‘why’ can do, is help us carry that weight as we work on gaining the strength to be able to do so regularly. It is good to have one overarching ‘why’ in life, but we can have several others to keep us going.
In my own life, my ‘why’ is to positively impact the lives of millions of individuals around the globe. In my personal life, much of my ‘why’ revolves around being the best man for my beautiful lady, Margie. It is being a good example of how to treat your lady for anyone who is watching. It is living up to the standards that I have set for myself. Did I mention it is helpful to have many reasons to become all that you can be? How about you? Have you made sure you have enough, and strong enough, reasons for your life? Work on them today. They just might end up saving your life.
This post should have probably been posted yesterday, during our uplifting segment, but it works on any day. If you we look at this quote, we can certainly appreciate it as being true. We read countless stories about famous people who had great success only after overcoming a great amount of failure. In fact, I don’t recall many who had success without overcoming some kind of struggle.
If this is true of bands who live in poverty until that big hit, or actors who sleep on the couches of friends until their movie reaches the masses, why isn’t it true of you and I? Here is a little secret – it is true of us. Every life has its fair share of ups and downs. How many of each can vary, but life is filled with plenty of both. How we respond to either helps us define our character. We must remember that merely refusing to let life break us makes us great. We may stumble, we may fall, but that fact that we get up and keep going makes us great.
You may be in either an up or a down right now. Either way, we all have greatness inside of us. When we show up and continue the good fight, that is the definition of greatness. Keep this in mind – failure is not the opposite of success, it is a stepping stone on the way to it.
Today we are celebrating! It is the first time in this site’s 11 year history that we have had a post every day for an entire year. It was a goal of mine to bring more inspiration and motivation to all who read this. As many of us look to create our own resolutions for the New Year, we should take a look at why and how we were successful in having a post daily for a year.
First, start where you are with what you have. Although we have been talking about having a post every day for a year, this is actually the 546 straight day we have had a post. When I decided that was my goal for the coming year, it was sometime in mid summer of last year. Why should I wait for the first of the year to start? Part of the reason I was successful was I had a strong enough ‘why’. In having a post daily, I knew the audience for this site would grow. We are now over 100,000 views in over 200 countries. I also knew I would reach and engage with more people the more content I would put out. The more people reached, the more people could get an assist in living an amazing life. The more people living amazing lives, the better our planet would be.
Were there days I struggled with posting? You bet. Being an author, speaker, DJ and full-time day job as well, time is crazy. Another one of my goals was to improve the quality and depth of my relationship with my lovely lady. That takes time and dedication. All of these things could have been legitimate reasons not to have a blog. Then, I needed to use negative motivation for my goals. What is negative motivation? I needed to consider what would happen if we did not have a post here. There may be someone who was in a dark emotional place that was looking forward to reading what we have to say here. What would happen if they came to discover there was nothing to read? Hearing all of the negativity that the world seems to bring to our attention daily, I knew that this site needed to be a balance to that. If people were not given another source for knowledge and inspiration, I was not doing my part to leave the world a better place than I found it. This is, after all, my life’s mission, or at least part of it.
In closing, this accomplishment leaves me feeling just one way…grateful. I consider it a blessing to be able to share with you everything I learn along my journey of life. I am thankful for all of the souls who join me on this journey. There is nothing but gratitude for the friends I have made and the input they have given. I look forward to hearing from more of you in the year to come. 2024 will bring you my fourth book, as well as many other surprises including new episodes of the Living the Dream with Neil Panosian podcast. In addition, we will continue to have great and valuable content here to share with you. We always welcome your feedback and look forward to living an amazing life with you in 2024.
John Wooden is one of my favorite persons that I have studied. His attention to detail and the importance he placed on character are some of the greatest lessons we can all learn. I am going to share two of them with you here, and then we are going to end by taking a hard look at the quote above.
One lesson I recall was his pregame approach. He told all of his players to check for wrinkles in their socks. His players, much like you might be doing right now, looked at him quizzically. What does worrying about a wrinkle in your sock have to do with winning basketball games? That seemingly minor inconvenience, left unattended to, would lead to irritation, and eventually a blister. This would leave the player unable to perform at their best.
In our own life, how many minor irritations do we let go until they are preventing us from performing at our best? Every morning, as I put on my socks and shoes, I am reminded of this simple lesson. To make sure even the smallest, seemingly unimportant, details are attended to. Paying attention to the small details before they become larger problems will allow our life to proceed in a far easier fashion. Can you imagine if you never changed the oil in your car until the engine started acting up? By then there would be far greater, and more expensive, problems to deal with. Think of this tomorrow as you put on your socks and shoes. As a bonus, this has saved me much pain when I have set out on hikes with my mother.
His other advice he gave his players was not to pay attention to the score board. This may not seem like something you would hear a coach say, but he had good reason. If the players saw that they were up by a lot of points, they may relax a little and get sloppy. If they saw they were down by a lot of points, they may give up and quit playing hard. Even if they saw the game was close, they may get nervous and make mistakes. Instead, coach Wooden told them to focus on playing the best they could each and every play. If they did that, when they looked up at the score at the end of the game, they would like what they saw. How about you? How much of your effort in life is influenced by the circumstance you find yourself in? If we all just focused on being the best version of ourselves that we could be each and every day, I think when we look at the scoreboard of our life, we would like what we see.
Lastly, we will talk about the quote we started this post with. “Things work out best for those who make the best of how things work out.” This really is one of the great keys to life. There will be ups and downs. It is not our circumstances that decide if we will be successful, but our mindset. Therefore, you stand a better chance at success if you work on improving your mindset over your circumstances.
Confused by today’s title? It really is as simple as the quote above. Let us be honest with each other here. The week is ending. The month is drawing to a close. Even the year is almost over. Many people think that with a month left to go, it is a little late to make any grand improvements. Here is the truth about improvements, especially self-improvements, they all start with a single moment. Yes, the may take days, months or even years to complete, but they all start with a single decision. It all starts to change when we finally say “Enough!” or “Now is the time!” The end of our rope is the location for many of our best beginnings.
One of the most profound changes we can make is our own attitude. It is our attitude at the onset of a project that most determines its outcome, as William James mentioned. We can think of how this may be true. If we begin a project with the belief that it will not work, how hard will we look for solutions to the challenges that may arrive along the way? Not very hard I would imagine. If we are determined to get in better shape, how many options will we be willing to explore? The net worth of the weight loss industry is estimated to be 72.6 billion. That is people trying a lot of options. How well any will succeed depends a great deal on the attitude of the person attempting them.
With one month left in the year, there is no greater area we can work on improving than our own attitude. We will have bad days. Many circumstances are out of our control. What is completely in our control is our attitude. The better our attitude, the better our chances of success in life. The worse our attitude, the worse our chances for success will be. This is not limited to just one area of our life either. Our attitude crosses over and touches every aspect of our life. This makes it one of the most important areas of study and improvement we can make. Why not work on entering the new year with a new, and improved, attitude?
Wouldn’t it be great if you could go through life never experiencing a loss or a failure? What if I tell you that I actually live that life? As impossible as that may seem, it is true. Before you roll your eyes or think that I am joking, let me assure you this is not only 100% true, but you can do it too! This is not to say that you will not suffer heartache. Everything you aspire to accomplish will not always turn out as you had hoped. You will still face struggles along the way. There will still be relationship issues, maybe the loss of a job, or even worse, the loss of a loved one.
If you are a logical person, you might be asking yourself, “I thought he said we would never experience a loss?” As painful as some of these afore mentioned events are, they can be changed from a loss to a lesson. It involves a simple change of perspective. This may seem like I am splitting hairs, but hear me out. Does changing what we call something really change its reality? You bet. No, it will not bring that relationship, job or loved one back, but it will change your emotions about the situation. When we think about it, our emotions are our life. If you are happy and feeling good, your life is good, no matter what circumstances may be. If you are sad and feeling down, your life is not good, no matter how well situations may be playing out for you.
Using Nelson Mandela’s philosophy, we can see how we can never lose again either. My one caveat I would suggest is learning in both cases. Feel free to quote me on this one, I never lose, I either have a victory or a lesson. In both cases, I have learned. We can learn how to be a better life partner when we screw up a relationship. We can learn ways to improve ourselves, or align ourselves better with our passion when we lose a job. We can learn more about living with love, and less with regret when a loved one leaves us. This is not simple hyperbole, I have personally done all three.
If we learn from our mistakes, they are not a loss, but a lesson. Therefore, the only way we can lose in life, is to fail to learn. My relationship with the love of my life would not be nearly as amazing if I did not learn from my mistakes, both in past relationships, and in the wonderful one I share with her. Your relationship will have mistakes and challenges, it just shouldn’t keep having the same ones. The great thing about working for the United States Postal Service, is that they are always threatening to eliminate your job. Why is that a good thing? Sounds rather stressful doesn’t it? In a way it is, but once again, I have learned to put that stress to work for me. It reminds me to never allow my occupation to become my identity. This is a lesson that many of us could put into use. It also motivates me to pursue outside interests. To work on improving myself and my writing. Losing a loved one is never easy. It will be painful and I do not wish to marginalize that pain. However, I recall once I learned to use that pain to make sure that I loved everyone I care about to the fullest in my life, it became a great motivator. The only thing worse than the pain of loss, is to have that pain compounded with regret.
Do what Nelson Mandela does. Do what I do. Never allow yourself to simply lose in life again. When you turn everything in your life into a lesson, not only will it lessen the pain of perceived losses, but help you grow and develop as a person. There is no more powerful feeling to look life right in the eye and say, “I never lose. I either win or I learn.” You owe this to yourself.
Last post we discussed the importance of having fortifications of positivity in your life. If you did not read that post, I cannot stress enough the importance of doing so. In this post we are going to talk about winning the toughest war you have, the one in your own head. It is composed of many different battles. It is also a war without end. This may sound rather fatalistic, but that does not make it any less true. As with so many things in life, such as our diet and our fitness, we do not ever have them ‘handled’. Even if we get to a state of satisfaction with these areas, if we stop working on them they will not stay the same. If you get your body into great physical shape and then cease going to the gym or being physically active, your body will not stay in that state. After my heart surgery I can attest to that.
Here is the good news. Once you reach a state of accomplishment, it is easier to maintain than it was to get there. It his great book, The Art of War, Sun Tzu reminds us of the advantages of fighting from a higher elevation than our enemies. When you are climbing the hill in any journey it is difficult. That could be trying to get your weight under control. It could be reducing your stress. Climbing that hill is hard. Here is the good part, when you are on top of the hill, staying there is a lot easier than getting there.
You may be wondering what exactly is he getting at with all of this talk about fighting and wars. My life is not that bad. Les Brown, one of my favorite speakers, said “Life is a fight for territory.” If you do not control your life and what it consists of, someone will be more than happy to do that for you. There is no greater example of this than what is in your own head. I am often asked, “How can you be so positive all of the time?” or “What can I do to be more positive like you?” Two great items to get to here.
First, if you want to be ‘positive like me’, know it is something that will take years and years of effort. Before you say to yourself, “That sounds way too difficult.” Ask yourself what is the alternative? Your thoughts create your emotions. Do you know what your emotions are? They are your life. In short, how you feel is your life. Can you have a good run of luck and still feel sad and lonely? Sure can. How many celebrities have all of the fame, fortune and followers you can imagine, yet commit suicide? Have you ever seen some of the poorest people in third world countries who seem to have a grin permanently affixed to their face? Of course we have. Life is truly an inner game. Without mastering your mind and emotions, you will be at the mercy of them, and of life in general.
I fought the uphill battle against my emotions. I fought against the negativity. I fought against the seasonal depression I suffer from. I fought against the sadness of losing loved ones. I fought against defeats in business and my career. Want to fight uphill? Become an independent author trying to sell as many books so you can reach as many souls as you can. When I started, I was fighting uphill. These emotions had a strategic advantage. They had been there my whole life and had established themselves. They were at the top of the mountain. Many times, they won the battle. I slipped into depression. I lost my temper. I felt defeated. I kept fighting. With every loss, I learned. Eventually, I found myself winning battles and climbing that mountain.
Now I find myself at the top of the mountain in this area, so to speak. Does that mean I am positive all of the time? No. If you do not believe that, ask my lovely lady Margie. She will definitely tell you I have my dark moments. What it does mean is that those moments are now fighting uphill to defeat me, instead of the other way around. With the tools and strategies I have learned climbing the hill, I can usually fend them off with little or no damage. Do they knock me off the top every now and again? You bet. They say the wolf on top of the hill is never as hungry as the wolf climbing the hill. Sorry to use all of these cliches, but they do help paint a more accurate picture. These negative emotions, the depressing thoughts, the anger, they used to rule me. Now they want that power back.
It is said that those who lack power will fight to achieve it, and those who have power will fight to maintain it. The same holds true for the battle for your mind. Those negative emotions will be ever fighting to overpower you. Make sure they are fighting uphill. Last year, I released my third book and it was a flop. As an author, I had two successful books up to that point and felt like I was on the top of the mountain. I thought for sure the sharing of my recent health struggles and brief flirtation with death would really connect with people. I was wrong. What did those voices in my head start to tell me? “You are not a very good author.” “Nobody wants to hear what you have to say.” “Nobody really cares about your journey.” For a while it knocked me off the top of the mountain. What it didn’t do was keep me there.
If you are fighting uphill at anything in life right now, know that you will have to take some defeats along the way. That doesn’t mean you failed. It means you are climbing the hill. It means you have more to learn. Also know, when you get to the top of the hill it will be easier, but it will not be over. In the example of my third book failing to connect as I had hoped, I had tools and strategies that picked me up and helped me continue to fight. I had friends that encouraged me with what they enjoyed about my writing. I had my beautiful lady who not only literally picked me up when I was down, but fights along side of me. I have the very tools and strategies I wrote about in my first two books and talk about in the third that helped me survive death. They certainly can help me get back to the top of the mountain again.
In your own life, the time to prepare and conquer your mindset is now. Fight those inner demons. It is not easy, but it is worth it. Once you are on the top of the mountain, it will be easier. You will be able to not become stressed when things do not go your way. You will be able to maintain an attitude of gratitude (which is a great tool by the way) even in times of struggle. You will become your own hero.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 