There are many things that make life great. One of them is laughter. Make sure to schedule that. I have an email that comes to my inbox with silly jokes every day. There are also apps for that. You can get a day by day calendar with jokes.
There are many other ways to get in your laughter. Include people in your life that make you laugh. Luckily, I live with just such a person. You should have a collection of funny movies. A group of comedy cds or dvds might not be a bad idea.
There are so many ways to inject laughter into your life. The benefits are endless. When you laugh your immune system strengthens. Your stress decreases. It helps shift your perspective on life. What is your favorite source of laughter?
Have you ever found yourself in the middle of the storms of life? You look around and feel like it is all crashing in around you. I think we have all felt that way at some point in time. It feels overwhelming. Almost impossible at the time. What do you do?
We will start with what you don’t do. You don’t sit still and dwell in your feelings. You can take a second to fully experience them, but don’t live in them. The antidote to the overwhelm in life can be summed up in one word – action. You can look at the quote from Winston Churchill above, or think about this one from Tony Robbins, “Happiness equals progress.”
Many of you might be asking, “What if I don’t know what action to take? I don’t want to take the wrong action. ” There are 2 solutions to this issue. First, any action will help. If it tends not to be beneficial, you will find out sooner by acting than sitting still. Second, the outside world, and maybe somebody that could help, will see youare not a quitter. Knowing you’re the type of person to fight through the storms of life will not only speak to your character, but give you a boost of self-confidence.
Still not sure if you can take action? Here is something that always works. Take action to help someone else. While you are helping someone else with one of their challenges, it may often make your own pale in comparison. Not to mention, the confidence you get helping them you can use on your own problem. In selfish terms, by helping others do you think they will be more likely to help you? Of course they will!
This week, or anytime in life, follow Winston’s advice. If you are going through hell, just keep going!
Here is a thought. We were talking about the positive effects of habits a few posts ago and how important it is to develop positive habits. The same can be said for negative habits. Especially, the habit of quitting.
When I have the opportunity to speak to young people, this is something I stress. Quitting, like success, is a habit. You cannot expect to quit on some things in life and have the fortitude to persevere in others. It just doesn’t work that way. The subconscious mind, our brain, is a slave to habit and repetition.
Think of your own life. Are there any situations that you often quit on? Make sure to work on eradicating as many as you can. The upside is that you will notice the benefits throughout all areas of your life!
Last post we talked about starting the day with a statement of intention. When crafting one that will serve you well, the key is finding something that affects you emotionally. Most people think this has to be serious. Not necessarily. Consider the affects of something that can make you laugh. That is certainly a change of emotional state!
We have all heard the saying, “laughter is the best medicine.” Starting the day with laughter means you are Starting the day with a smile! It also means you are more likely to remember your statement of intention. If you couple that with something empowering, you have a great formula for success. I would love to hear any empowering statements that involve humor that you may use!
Last post we spoke about defeating your demons. Today we are going to talk about a specific demon. That is the demon of negative thinking. Boy is this one a tricky one. I don’t care who you are, it creeps in the mind of everybody. Even the always bubbly coworker who can drive you nuts. On occasion, they have a bad day or a moment of self-doubt. One of the greatest tricks the demon of negative thinking uses is to convince you that having these thoughts in some way makes you a failure. This creates a feedback loop from hell, as author Mark Manson says. You have a negative thought. Then you feel bad about yourself for thinking negative, which makes you feel bad. Then you start to feel bad for feeling bad. On and on the loop can go. That is unless you can stop it!
The million dollar question becomes, “How do we control the habit of negative thinking?” I recommend a 3-step process. That process is – motivation, preparation, and habit. We will quickly tackle these one at a time. They will be expanded on more in my fifth book, Save Yourself. That is not due out until 2025 at the earliest. Being that we want to nip negative thinking in the bud now, let’s dive into our first step of the process – motivation. We need to start the day motivated. If this seems like a next to impossible task, I understand. I wake up for work 6 days a week at 4am. Including Mondays when I DJ until 2am. I understand the challenge of waking up motivated. Another way to state this is to ‘wake up with intent’. Years ago I did a video for my YouTube Channel called “Waking up in neutral” I put the link at the bottom of this post. Ask yourself do you have a written intent you wake up to in the morning? This can be one of the simplest fixes.
Many people picture someone standing on the sidelines yelling and cheering them on when they think of the word ‘motivation’. That isn’t really what the word even means. Motivation means to “have a motive”. First thing in the morning, before the world distracts you, is the best time to set your motive. Actually, embedding it in your mind the night before will allow your subconscious mind to get a jump start on it. I suggest writing out a simple one or two line mantra that will tell your mind the kind of day you are expecting to have. An example might be, “I am going to have a great day. I will learn from every situation in life, even the challenging ones, and I will not let them bring me down.” This is only an example. Write something that is meaningful to you and put it somewhere you will see it. Maybe tape it to the bathroom mirror or by the coffee maker.I suggest saying your intention out loud. Maybe if several times on the morning commute. If you want to take control of your life, it is time to stop waking up on accident and declare your intent for the day.
Now that we have a purpose and intent for our day, it is on to step two. That step, as mentioned above, is preparation. Here is a not so shocking news flash – you are going to have a bad day. You are going to have a day where you feel down. Not so positive there, but it is true. The secret to an amazing life is not to be depressed by this news, but to prepare for it. What does preparing for a bad day or a bout of negative thinking look like? It is creating a list of things that can help you combat the negativity in your life. You may be thinking that you already know things that lift your spirits, and that may be true. When you are in the middle of one of the storms of life, those things may slip from your mind. Having them written down to be able to refer to without thought makes this process easier and more effective. Mine, for example, is going for a walk in nature, watching several of my favorite movies, spending time with certain friends. One of my favorite is listening to music that puts me in a good mood. That is why I recommend creating a ‘Happy Playlist’ in my first two books. Music has a way to rapidly transform our emotional state with just the push of a button. Save a list on your phone, which everyone seems to always have with them. It might not be a bad idea to have a file named ‘happy day’ with a list of the items that can pick you up on there as well. That way you will have the list no matter where you are.
We have set our intention. We are saying it out loud, maybe several times, every morning. We have prepared for the inevitable bad day by creating a list of things that raise our spirits. Maybe even creating a ‘Happy Playlist’ of our own. Now what? That brings us to the third and final habit – habits. Developing habits that serve us is the secret to maintaining a positive life. In my own life, I have a file saved on my phone that is filled with positive affirmations I listen to every morning on the way to work. I have scheduled days that I go to the gym, which helps release endorphins that boost your mood. I make sure to schedule quality time in nature, with friends and of course with my lovely lady. These habits not only reduce the chance of letting life get to me, but unlocking the secret of what to do when it does,
Use this 3-step process in your own life, starting today. We never know when a challenging day, or some negative thinking, will be coming our way. We do know now how we can defeat them and live a more positive life. It is important to remember if we do fall victim to life and feel down, we have not failed. It is a part of life. It may be setting us up for a period of growth. It may be just providing us a chance to practice and strengthen these very practices. Last note, this is an evolving process. You can add to, or change your morning intention. You can add to the list of things that make you happy as you discover new ones. You can tweak and add positive habits as you go along. Life is ever evolving. We should be too.
File this post under “Simple to understand but hard to do”. It is still a great thought worth pondering. Something we all know, but could use a good reminder with. No matter what your demons are, be they small or large, this advice applies. Let us say your demon is sugary foods. It would serve you well to not frequent a bakery or places where such items are served. In your house, do not have bags of candy ready to snack on. Instead have carrots, or maybe celery with a little bit of peanut butter. Whatever your fancy may be. Maybe you are striving to be a little more active? Do not hang around people who live sedentary lives. Try parking your car a little further away from the grocery store.
Let us say that you find yourself in embarrassing or dangerous situations when you consume alcohol. You should seek your entertainment somewhere other than a bar or a club. Yes, that might mean giving up a few friendships, but that might be the cost of vanquishing your demon. If, for example, you have a person who enjoys going out and getting smashed, even if they are a good person, you may have to cut them off. Even the friends who can responsibly consume adult beverages, you will have to explain you cannot be around them when they do. Your demon can use your friends, family and peer pressure to continue to keep you enslaved. Do you want to be a slave to your demons, or do you want to take back control of your life? Rather a rhetorical question, but a poignant one never the less.
Your demons will be tricky. They will be crafty. They will use whatever they can to enslave you. If you want to have an amazing life, and defeat many of your demons, you must first declare you will no longer enjoy their company. It will come with some sacrifices. It will be a long and hard journey. It will be worth it. We only have one life. It is worth fighting for.
Not many things frustrate or surprise me at this stage of my life. One thing that does, however, is adults perpetuate problems by their insistence to participate in them. This often infantile behavior both shocks and perplexes me. If you are in the middle of a bad situation, and you can, step away from it.
I have heard adults say things such as, “After what he said about me, I’m going to tell people things about him!” What?! Is this a childhood classroom? How about you just don’t give them anything bad to say about you? Why even care? I believe in what Frank Sinatra said. “The best revenge is massive success.” Focus on you, your life and making them both amazing. If you are busy doing that, you will have no time to care about what others are saying and doing.
As you saw in the first picture, merely being a part of a bad situation can help it to spread. Think of these situations in your own life. Are there any that you should have stepped away from? Are there any in your life you should step away from now? If you are ever thinking of revenge, remember our friend Frank, and just focus on creating massive success in your own life!
Mid-week and we are looking at a quick reminder. This quote compares excuses with discipline. It is very true. You may think your excuse will get you out of some work, or some stress, but it always comes back to you. Something to think about when you are ready to make an excuse. Do I want to make my life harder later? That is a good question to ask when faced with the decision to make an excuse or to be disciplined and do the work even when you don’t feel like it.
I like this quote even better! I wish it would show the second half of what he said which was, “discipline weighs ounces. Regret weighs tons.” How many of us can testify to that? Think of all the regret you have had in the past over decisions not to be disciplined? The pain of discipline can be intense in the moment. It can be uncomfortable. After the action is done, that pain usually passes. In many cases, it is replaced by a feeling of pride for have remained loyal to your commitments. Regret, however, that beast not only weighs as much as a ton of bricks, it sticks with you for a long time. Sometimes you can carry that heavy load to the grave. Is that the choice you really want to make?
I was listening to Les Brown, one of my favorite speakers today. He said something I think we can all relate to. He said, “In life, you are either going into a storm, in the middle of a storm or just came out of a storm.” That may sound a bit negative, but that does not make it any less true. It seems the storms of life seem to come one right after another. There are moments of sunshine between them for sure, but another one is always around the corner if we wait long enough.
Much like the meteorological storms, we also try to predict the storms in our life. Just like they do on the weather channel, we gather information. We look at patterns and past performances. Much like the conclusions on the weather channel, they are right…some of the time. We might be able to predict the storm, but that does little, if anything, to change the fact the storm is coming. They never try to change the weather on the weather channel. You never hear them say, “Everyone point your fan in one direction so we can pull up warmer air.” Trust me, I have thought of this. Why, in life, do we try to change the weather? We fight against the storms with other people. We fight against change itself. As if we can stop these things from happening.
We can spend an entire life doing our best to avoid or run from the storms in the ocean of life. They will find us or catch up to us at some point. That time would be much better spent learning to swim. What do I mean from that? If you know that eventually you will be in a storm, you really have two options. You can hope that the storm is easy, or that it passes you over entirely. Hope is a redeeming quality, but seldom a good strategy. Your other option is to learn skills that can help you not only survive the storm, but thrive in it. In other words, you can learn to swim.
Many of you might be thinking, “Ok, that makes sense. Next time that I see a storm coming, I will work on the skills that will help me make it through.” Let us return to our analogy of the weather. Does mother nature ever call you to ask, “I plan on raining this week. When would be good for you?” I am not sure how it works in your life, but mother nature must think the time I enjoy rain is when I have an outdoor activity planned. Just like the weather, the storms of life can pop up unexpectedly, at any time.
While being interviewed for the show Positively Milwaukee, I asked the question, “When is the best time to learn how to swim? When you are on the shore or when the boat is sinking?” Little did I know, only a year later I would benefit from my own advice. I had to undergo emergency open-heart surgery. The healthy lifestyle I had been living went a long way in helping me make it through that. Had I waited until I was told that I needed surgery to start living a healthy lifestyle, it would have been too late. The same is true in any challenge of life. The longer you wait to start preparing for the storms of life, the chance it will be too late increases. Start developing your skills today. The storm could come tomorrow. Take that swimming lesson today.
This is a great and valuable reminder. All too often in life we spend too much time working on, and focused on the future. I am not saying you should not have plans and goals, but not to find yourself prisoner to them. What on earth does that mean? So glad you asked. Let us say you are trying to write the next best-selling book. (mine is due out in late spring/early summer so stay tuned) If you remain focused on the fact that your book is not finished and how much more you have to do, life will have a very stressful and not so fun feel to it. Instead, do your best to make what you write everyday the best it can be.
If you will permit me to mix my analogies, it is like building a brick wall. If your focus is on how to build the best brick wall it can be overwhelming. If, however, you focus on how to lay the perfect brick each and every time, you will look up one day to find you have built the perfect brick wall. Life is the same way. People are concerned with controlling their future. That is good. The best way to control the future is to make each day the best it can be. If we do that, it is like the brick wall. If we just think about making each day the best it can be, one day we will look up to see we have built the perfect life.
The best part about this way of living is it reduces your stress. If all you focus on is the 24 hours you are given, the burden seems lighter. If you work hard to make each day the best it can be, it often makes tomorrow that much easier. This holds true in your job, your family, your health and nearly every other aspect of your life. Do your best to make today the best it can be. It is your greatest insurance for a better tomorrow.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 