Today is April Fools Day. Traditionally, people play jokes on others on this day. I’m not really a fan, but to each their own. One thing we must caution against is fooling ourselves. We do this by the way we talk to ourselves.
90 to 95% of your life is controlled by your subconscious mind. It really is a miraculous thing. It heals your wounds. It keeps your heart beating without you having to think about it. The one thing about the subconscious mind is that it can’t think for itself. For that it trusts the conscious mind. That would be your normal thinking mind.
How does your conscious mind communicate with your subconscious mind? By the words you say to yourself. Your subconscious mind accepts whatever you say to yourself as true. It then proceeds to act on that information. If what you say is mostly negative, such as “I am always so stupid.” Not only will you be more likely to make stupid decisions, you will be far more likely to notice when you do.
Keep in mind the power of your words and use them in a positive manner. Let today remind you not to make a fool out of yourself!
Last post we discussed many of the great ideas put fourth by Frederick Douglass. I could not walk away without discussing one of my favorite quotes from this great man. “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.” What a powerful statement. This speaks to all of us.
Let us start with the obvious. If you are a parent, which I think is one of the most noble and difficult jobs, this certainly speaks to you. Raising a child that not only has a good education, but good morals, a healthy self-image and compassion for others will make a huge difference in the future of the world. This is accomplished, and affected by, a lot more than we think. It is not only making sure they pay attention in school, do their homework and chores. It is setting a good example in our own behavior. Children may listen to what we say, but they will certainly pay attention to what we do. If your children live in a household with an abusive relationship, what do you think they will learn about relationships? If they watch you speak condescending to certain people, how do you think they will treat others when they grow up? If you do not take care of your health and indulge in self-abusive behaviors, do you think your children will grow up to learn a healthy lifestyle?
Parents are not the only ones affecting the lives of children. We all are. It could be a teacher. The job I consider as noble as that of a parent. Both of which play a large role in the development of our youth. Again, it is not just the academic lessons you pass along as you teach, but the examples you set as a person. This holds true not just for parents and teachers, but for all of us.
You never know when children may be watching us. If you are screaming at your spouse in the parking lot, a child could be driving by in a car and see two adults acting that way. This often occurs to me when I open the door for Margie. I am hoping a young boy will be watching and learn that is how you should treat the woman you love. Not because she is not capable of opening the door for herself, but because you respect her enough to do it for her.
Our world is filled with people in rehab, going to therapy and sitting in prison. A lot of these cases are the result of early life trauma. It can take many years of struggle and pain, both emotional and physical, to overcome. It can cost all of us a good deal of money. Living in a world that is prone to violence because people did not learn basic respect for human life costs all of us peace of mind. These costs are far greater than spending the time to make sure we set the proper example for, and raise strong children.
Like I said last post, Frederick Douglass had a lot of great wisdom to share. A man who lived through the horrors of slavery shared what he endured, so that we may leave the world better for our children. To let those lessons, and all that he went through to bring them to us, go without putting them into action would be a shame. Let us all work together to build strong children so that we may not have to repair as many broken adults.
Middle of the week. How is everyone doing? Last post we discussed the importance of setting a goal and having direction in our lives. We can have the best of direction and intentions and life can throw some pretty big tests at us! That can bring many of us down. What can we do to prevent life’s tests from stealing our motivation and inspiration from us? I suggest 2 things. Definition and putting them to use. We will look at each of them so you can put them into action in your life, starting today!
The first one is definition. What exactly is a test? It is a review of how sharp a certain skill or knowledge is. In other words, it lets us know where we stand at the moment. Life’s tests are no different. When they say that someone “Tests our patience“, all it really means is they are seeing how strong our patience muscles are. Life can test our health, our fitness, our relationship and a million other aspects of our lives. It will let us know if our skills are satisfactory, need a little work or if we have no idea what we are doing. Contrary to how it may feel, none of these results is better or worse than the other. They all can be used to serve us.
This brings us to our second way in which we can prevent life’s tests from bringing us down – we can put them to work for us. Nobody likes failing a test. I still remember when I stayed up all night helping a friend with his chemistry exam. By the time we were supposed to get to mine, he had went home and I have very little cerebral energy left. The end result? My friend received a B+ on his paper, and I get the letter that follows ‘E’ in the alphabet. It felt terrible, but it did provide some valuable information. First, you should always make sure you work on your own paper before your brain is running on fumes. Second, I should have not waited until the last minute to study. It showed me that I had very little knowledge on the chemistry topic my paper was on.
There is one other way is which life’s tests can serve us. It was brought home to me from a scene in the movie Young Guns. This was a western from the 1980s. In it, some outlaws are trying to convince Billy the Kid, played by Emilio Esteves, to escape to Mexico because of the danger the law that was chasing them provided. Billy the Kid goes on to explain to them that they have to test themselves every day so they stay sharp and alert. We may not have a posse chasing us or have to look out for the quick draw of an outlaw, but our tests in life accomplish pretty much the same thing. The more we get outside of our comfort zones, the sharper our minds and skills remain. When life becomes routine and safe, we can become lazy and our skills lax. Therefore, in a unique way, we should be grateful to the tests we face in life. They are helping to keep our skills sharp and us growing and evolving.
Here we are at the start of a new week. We can already feel overwhelmed with our ‘to do lists’ and obligations for the coming days. How many of us have self-care items on our ‘to do lists’? All too often, our self-care gets pushed down to the bottom of the list. We really must understand the importance of taking care of ourselves and the benefit to others.
Look at so many other things in our life. Take our cars for example. We get their tires rotated, we change the oil. Why do we do these things? We do them so our car will be able to get us from point A to point B. How about our cell phones? We keep them charged and updated. Why? So they will run at optimal speed and we can put them to full use.
When it comes to inanimate objects, we understand that taking care of them will help them serve us better. In the case of the car, the better we maintain it, the longer it will last and the more efficient it will operate. If we keep our phone fully charged and updated it will have a better connection and speed in use.
How come when it comes to ourselves we somehow think these rules don’t apply? If, like the car, we maintain our bodies with good food and fitness, won’t we last longer and be more efficient? Like the phone, of we allow ourselves to recharge, won’t we have a better connection with the world around us, and those in it? Won’t we have more energy and be able to operate in a faster rate than if we are living off 2 hours of sleep and 3 large coffees?
This week, stop viewing self-care as something selfish. See it for what it is; a necessary step to bringing the best version of ourselves to the world at large and to those in our life we care about. Next time you get in your car, or pick up your cell phone, remember how much better they operate when we take care of them. The truth is we operate a lot better when we stop and take care of ourselves as well.
In a crazy work-a-day world, we can often lose ourselves. This weekend, I think we should not only get in touch with our true selves, but turn up the volume on all of the things that make us the amazing people we are.
How can we do that? Take some of the examples in the picture above. Turn up your magic! What does that even mean? We all have a certain magic inside us. This usually manifests as a gift we are naturally blessed with. Maybe we have a great singing voice? Then sing your heart out for all the world to hear! Maybe you enjoy creating art? Make a special gift for someone you love. Maybe you are great at cooking? Invite a friend over for dinner!
What about turning up your kindness? You could find so many ways to do this! Do you find joy in buying a coffee for the stranger behind you in line? Do that! Maybe your kindness is towards animals? Find ways to help our winged and 4-legged friends! Maybe your kindness is the ability to truly listen and allow someone to feel heard? That is such a precious gift!
How can you turn up gratitude? Look at the ideas in the pictures above and below. The more you can turn up your gratitude, the more your life will improve! That is a great bonus of gratitude. Those you express it to feel good, and so do you. It is definitely a win/win situation. For that reason alone, find as many ways to turn up the gratitude as you can this weekend!
Whatever wonderful traits make up you, I encourage you to express more of them this weekend! Remember to always be yourself. Originals are always worth more than copies.
Often a great change in the quality of our life can come from a small shift in how we look at things. What if we started to view every challenge in life as an opportunity to prove ourselves? Whenever I mention something like this, the sunshine challenged folks always mention that is just being ignorant.
Is it really? Tell me when our character is proven and strengthened? Is it when everything is going our way or when we have to battle through something? Our mistakes, our seemingly bad luck,our losses in life, all chances to prove ourselves.
In my own life I know this to be true. Right now, I’m feeling a little under the weather. My beautiful lady made me some chicken noodle soup for lunch and has been so sweet. The sickness sucks, but she is really showing how much she loves me. Even when the two of us are not seeing eye to eye, it is a great opportunity. How much respect can be gained by loving someone through disagreement? How loving is it to be the first one to apologize and work to make the situation right?
This weekend, let us look at every challenge as a chance to demonstrate and improve on our good character. After all, that is what every challenge is!
There are many things that make life great. One of them is laughter. Make sure to schedule that. I have an email that comes to my inbox with silly jokes every day. There are also apps for that. You can get a day by day calendar with jokes.
There are many other ways to get in your laughter. Include people in your life that make you laugh. Luckily, I live with just such a person. You should have a collection of funny movies. A group of comedy cds or dvds might not be a bad idea.
There are so many ways to inject laughter into your life. The benefits are endless. When you laugh your immune system strengthens. Your stress decreases. It helps shift your perspective on life. What is your favorite source of laughter?
Have you ever found yourself in the middle of the storms of life? You look around and feel like it is all crashing in around you. I think we have all felt that way at some point in time. It feels overwhelming. Almost impossible at the time. What do you do?
We will start with what you don’t do. You don’t sit still and dwell in your feelings. You can take a second to fully experience them, but don’t live in them. The antidote to the overwhelm in life can be summed up in one word – action. You can look at the quote from Winston Churchill above, or think about this one from Tony Robbins, “Happiness equals progress.”
Many of you might be asking, “What if I don’t know what action to take? I don’t want to take the wrong action. ” There are 2 solutions to this issue. First, any action will help. If it tends not to be beneficial, you will find out sooner by acting than sitting still. Second, the outside world, and maybe somebody that could help, will see youare not a quitter. Knowing you’re the type of person to fight through the storms of life will not only speak to your character, but give you a boost of self-confidence.
Still not sure if you can take action? Here is something that always works. Take action to help someone else. While you are helping someone else with one of their challenges, it may often make your own pale in comparison. Not to mention, the confidence you get helping them you can use on your own problem. In selfish terms, by helping others do you think they will be more likely to help you? Of course they will!
This week, or anytime in life, follow Winston’s advice. If you are going through hell, just keep going!
Here is a thought. We were talking about the positive effects of habits a few posts ago and how important it is to develop positive habits. The same can be said for negative habits. Especially, the habit of quitting.
When I have the opportunity to speak to young people, this is something I stress. Quitting, like success, is a habit. You cannot expect to quit on some things in life and have the fortitude to persevere in others. It just doesn’t work that way. The subconscious mind, our brain, is a slave to habit and repetition.
Think of your own life. Are there any situations that you often quit on? Make sure to work on eradicating as many as you can. The upside is that you will notice the benefits throughout all areas of your life!
Last post we talked about starting the day with a statement of intention. When crafting one that will serve you well, the key is finding something that affects you emotionally. Most people think this has to be serious. Not necessarily. Consider the affects of something that can make you laugh. That is certainly a change of emotional state!
We have all heard the saying, “laughter is the best medicine.” Starting the day with laughter means you are Starting the day with a smile! It also means you are more likely to remember your statement of intention. If you couple that with something empowering, you have a great formula for success. I would love to hear any empowering statements that involve humor that you may use!
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 