We work so hard on our goals. We work hard on our health. If we are smart, we work very hard on our relationships. Still, there is one thing that we often skip working on. The irony is that by working on improving this one thing, we will improve on everything else in our life.
That one thing is ourselves! When was the last time you sat down and thought of ways you could improve? Better yet, when was the last time you came up with a concrete plan to do so? With New Years right around the corner, let’s do more than come up with random wishes to improve our life. Let us come up with a measurable plan to do so. It will not only improve ourselves, it will improve our life!
We will get to why this question is indeed one of the most important questions in just a minute. First, I would like to share with you an event that got me thinking about this. A gentleman I see occasionally at my day job paid me one of the most unique, but meaningful compliments. He told me what he most admired about me was my consistency of character. How despite outside circumstances, I remain upbeat and treat everyone I meet with kindness and compassion. I would love to tell you this is true all of the time, but it is not. It is true enough that a gent would notice and compliment me on it. So what is my secret? How do I remain upbeat and always treat others kindly? How can I do this despite what my outside circumstances are? More importantly, how can you manage to do this as well?
The first step is to answer what good old Albert said was the most important question. Is the universe a friendly place? Here is the tricky answer. Whatever we decide the answer is, we can find corresponding evidence for it. If we look for examples that the universe is a terrible place with people only out for themselves, there is no shortage of that. If, however, we are brave enough to believe the universe is a wonderful place with people showing kindness and compassion towards others, we will find that too. We may have to look a little harder as that kind of news does not sell as well. They are both there. I am here to tell you life will be much more rewarding and joyous if you decide the universe is a wonderful place to be.
One good way to do this is to find a guiding quote that speaks to you in that regard. Although not an overly religious person, that quote from the bible is one of my favorites. Whether you are religious, spiritual or not, find one that speaks to you. If you decide that the universe is is a friendly place, than even when things seem to be going sideways, you will understand that it is ultimately for a good purpose. This may sound like a bunch of B.S., and it is. Belief system that is. If your belief system is that the world is generally a good place, you will understand if the dark and the challenges bring their own blessings.
Does that mean your life will suddenly be rainbows and unicorns? Of course not. You will, however, begin to see the gifts that challenges bring. You will find yourself saying things like, “Boy this person is testing my patience. By testing my patience, it will help me strengthen it.” This could be to yourself or out loud. By developing this mindset you will be able to be more consistent in how you are living your life. This not only can apply to the overall purpose of your life, but to specific areas as well.
Recently, a friend mentioned how they struggled to keep a positive attitude about the business they started. When you are excited about your business and nobody seems to come through the door, how do you stay excited? That is a challenge. If you have a firm belief in what you do and why you are doing it, view those ‘down’ times as a test of your dedication to your business and an opportunity to learn different ways to attract customers and improve on that which you are now doing. My third book did not go over nearly as well as I had hoped. Instead of viewing myself as a failed author, I took that opportunity to examine how I bring my message to people, how I promote my books and what I could do better with my upcoming fourth book.
The secret to a consistently amazing life is to decide that your universe is a friendly place, or whatever goal you are pursuing is worthwhile. If that is the case, then how could anything not be working towards your greater good? Put both the victories as well as the challenges to work for you. The more you do this, the more life will be amazing and the easier it will be to be consistent in all you do and who you are.
What is on your screensaver? The answer could hold a greater key to your success than you realize. Are you chasing a worthy ideal or goal? If you are a reader of this website, the answer in probably ‘yes’. If you are not right now, you will be soon. In fact, most of the world will be setting new goals and lofty aspirations in another month or so. Most of them will fail within a few weeks. Why do most New Year’s resolutions fall flat? We all begin with the best of intentions. Why is it so hard to keep that momentum going?
The most important aspect is to have a strong enough ‘why’. If the goal is really not that important to you, the chances of you succeeding are next to nothing. Use the carrot and the stick. Both what you will gain by achieving the goal, and what you will lose, or miss out on by not achieving the goal. This is very important and will have the greatest impact on whether or not you will succeed. How come even goals we really want we give up on? Is there a solution that will allow us to build that momentum and provide a subtle nudge to remind us of the direction we wish to be going? The answer is yes and it can be fun and easier than you think.
Whatever your goal is, it may not take the outrageous amount of willpower you think it will to stay on track. There are some simple steps you can take to have your momentum continue almost automatically. Many of these may not seem to impressive by themselves, but together will make sure your goal, and the why for it, stay front and center in your mind.
I began by asking what was on your screensaver for a reason. Think of your main goal for the coming year, or even month. Now think of how many times you look at your phone. What if your screensaver could be a source of motivation for accomplishing the goal you are pursuing. It could be a picture of you at the weight you are striving to get down to. Never been that weight? Perhaps a picture of someone who transformed their body? Maybe a workout quote that will keep you fired up?
Let us say working out is not your goal. Your goal might be to live a more positive and fulfilling life. A daily inspirational goal could help you achieve that. What about the artwork on the walls of your home? It is a nice picture of the family? That is good, but it should be balanced with some art that motivates you. In addition, you could add a daily inspirational calendar. That way every day you will have a reminder, and an assist, in your quest for happiness and fulfillment. How about a quote that speaks to you hung on the bathroom mirror or coffee maker? Set an alarm on your phone to remind you to stick to your goal of meditating. Add enough of these ‘little’ things and motivation and reminders will be around every corner. That will help you stick to your goal when the going gets tough.
What are some other little things you can think of to help remind you of, and motivate you to stick to your goals? What are some of your favorites? Feel free to let us know in the comments below.
Just when we both thought i was done with the posts about 6 inches, one more was brought to my attention. I was at the super market dismayed at all of the carts left in the parking lot. The cart attendant informed me of something far worse for them. I could not imagine something worse than a lazy ignorant person who puts there cart up on an island verses walking a few feet to a coral.
The young man looked at me and confessed that did irritate him. “What is worse is when people mix up the small carts with the large ones. ” He went on to explain that they have to pull them all apart and put all the like sizes together before bringing them in the store. “It is really tough in the snow. ” he added.
That is something I could not wrap my head around. Truly if you went to the grocery store and purchased things it would be a safe assumption you had the ability to read. Being that you decided to purchase the 12 mega roll toilet paper verses the 6, it would be safe size differential was not the issue. Yet, here we are. Small carts are put in in area marked ‘large’ and the other way around. The difference between the two sides? Yep, you guessed it, 6 inches.
Again, this turns out not to be an issue of distance, but lack of respect and personal pride. Put your cart back where it goes. Even if that is 6 inches further.
Do not let the fact that it is Monday stop, or even intimate you. Discover what is holding you back from reaching your goals. Make that your enemy. Remember to focus on what you can control. Placing the blame on outside people and circumstances only puts you under their control and makes you weak.
The truth is most of the time it is not a lack of resources that stop you, but a lack of resourcefulness. Use those people and circumstances for motivation, not for excuses. Do not let them stop you. Find what you can do inside of you to improve your situation and move closer to your goals. You’ve got this!
Many people ask what the secret of success tothe success of my relationship with my beautiful lady is. It is not just focusing on how to create more happy moments, although that is important. Equally important is knowing what to do when the sun doesn’t seem to be shining on your love.
Knowing how to handle the “valleys” of a relationship is just as important as celebrating the “peaks”. Take a look at the list above. It is a good set of rules to have in place to ensure your love lasts a lifetime. Tell me what are some of the rules you have for disagreements that keep your love strong?
One of the great strategies I advocate in my second book is writing your own eulogy. It will help you focus on what you want to be remembered for and let you know if you are living a life to be on track for that. If you would like to know more about this exercise and why it could be beneficial to you, feel free to check out my book, Living the Dream, available on Amazon.
With all of the people who have done this exercise, NONE have written anything about material possessions. This is interesting as the group that have done this includes many people, from many different countries with different beliefs and cultures. Still, not a single one wanted their eulogy to include mention of their “stuff”.
The irony in all of this is that we spend our lives in pursuit of pleasure and all of the trappings that go with it. We realize what truly matters in the end, but fail to focus on it. That is part of what makes the human creature a never-ending source of amusement.
Do not make your life all about your stuff. One of my favorite quotes is from Denzel Washington who said, “You never see a U-Haul behind a hearse.” All of the time and effort we spend on stuff and we can’t take it with us. Focus on friends, family and creating memories. That’s what really matters.
If you have read either of my first 2 books, you know the story about the quote that inspired my personal and life transformation. It was “Better to light a candle than curse the darkness.”
There does appear to be a lot of darkness in the world these days. What we need is more light. We can all be a part of this solution. There are some great suggestions in the quote above. Be kind to yourself, love others and stay hopeful. It mentions when the path is unclear. I say try to develop an attitude of positive expectation. Even when life is going sideways, if you expect something positive to happen, eventually you will be right!
Remember, you can’t curse the darkness away in life anymore than you can in a darkened room. What do you do when you find yourself in a dark room? You turn on a light! Why should it be any different when you find yourself in a dark world? Be the light today. I would love to hear your suggestions for adding light in the comments below. I’ll leave you with the quote that inspired me.
Here is a 30-day secret to an amazing life – find the beauty in everything. Some things this is easy to do. It could help you to start with those. Find the beauty in a sunrise or sunset. One of my favorites is finding beauty in different tropical locations. The first week of this challenge, just do that. Find as many beautiful things in your life as you can.
The next week, try the people in your life. Just notice all of the beautiful people in your life. Remember that beauty is not always just skin deep. Some people have beautiful eyes, some people have beautiful souls. Bodies can be beautiful, but so is kindness. Notice how the people in your life are beautiful.
The third and fourth weeks are very similar. On the third week, ask yourself as often as you can, “What is beautiful about this situation?” As mentioned earlier, this should be easier for a sunrise than a root canal. If we look hard enough, we can find beauty in it all. If you can’t at the moment, just relax and let it go. You can even reassure yourself, “Although I cannot find the beauty in this situation at the moment, I’m sure it will occur to me at a later time.” Going to the dentist is not always a beautiful situation, but how much better it allows you to feel is.
Lastly, do the same with people. Ask yourself, “What is beautiful about this person?” When I do this with the woman I love, it could take all day. In that case, ask yourself what you are finding beautiful about that person at the moment. This is easy when you are around people you care about, unless you are in the middle of a disagreement. In which case, it can be even more powerful to ask yourself what you find beautiful about them.
Again, this is far easier to do for some people than others. If there is a customer tearing into you for no good reason, it can be hard to find the beauty in that. Maybe it is just that they are helping you strengthen your patience or resilience? Often the beauty in things can only be seen in hindsight. Just like with situations, if you can’t find the beauty in a person, let it go and remind yourself it may occur to you later.
What is the purpose of all of this? The more we look for beauty, the more likely we are to find it. There is so much beauty in our lives that we miss much of it. Changing our focus to find it will make our lives more beautiful.
Oh to be young and invincible again. When I look back at my life and all of the crazy things I have done, I sure do regret a few. What many of you may not know, is the fact that I wrote an autobiography. In recalling a lot of the partying, physical stunts and sleep deprivation, I am beginning to understand some of the problems I have today.
Depending on what age you are when you read this, you are either nodding your head in agreement or thinking it can’t happen to you. Our life can be equated to one of those giant cruise ships that sail in the Caribbean. One day I’m hoping to be on one. They way in which one of those ships and our life is alike is how they change course. You can’t turn one of those ships on a dime. No, it takes time and a good deal of planning.
Our life is like that ship. We can change direction, but to turn it all around takes some time. It works in both the positive and the negative. We saw examples of the negative above. The same is true in the positive. You want a good body? It can start today, but it takes time. We can change the direction of our life today with the decisions we are making. Where will the decisions you are making take you in ten or fifteen years?
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 