If we want a truly successful life we must focus on one thing. That is mastering ourselves. If we can manage to control our own emotions, actions and thoughts, there is nothing we cannot do. Can you imagine being able to control our own inner conversation to one of an encouraging and empowering one? Can you imagine taking control of your thoughts and being able to focus on opportunities instead of obstacles? How about controlling your actions and only taking those that live up to your standard and align with your goals? How would just these three things change your life?
So many of us look to control the outside circumstances in our life. We try desperately to control many things that are beyond our control. Instead of focusing on controlling circumstances in our life, how much better off would we be focusing our efforts on controlling our resilience to them? That we have complete control over. It will take effort and consistency, but we do have control over our reactions whether we wish to admit that or not,
This week focus on improving yourself. How can you take better control over you thoughts, emotions and actions? How will doing this improve your life? By focusing on these two questions we will get further than worrying about outside circumstances over which we have very little control.
These are 3 items that will change your life. Putting them to use in any area that you are working to improve will help immensely. We will break them down one by one and take a look at why it is important to learn and use each one in life. The picture alludes to a physical benefit, but it holds true in any area of your life. Let us take a look at some personal examples and how we can put it to work for us.
Discipline. This is one of the most powerful skills you can develop. Mike Tyson once famously said, “Discipline is doing what you hate to do, but doing it like you love it.” Perhaps ‘hate’ is a strong word, but working out after a long day or when you are still sore from your last workout can come close to something you hate to do. If we reserved action for when we felt like it or when we felt motivated to do so, how often would we act? Not nearly enough to make any useful progress towards our goal. When you learn to be disciplined, you are on your way to being able to accomplish any goal.
Routine. When you can develop a routine of action, it can make it easier to stick with your discipline. Personally, I go to the gym every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. My family knows this. My lady knows this. It keeps me from having to think too much. When we get stuck in our head with planning and other aspects of success, it can prevent us from taking action. Setting up a routine allows you to schedule success. This makes the likelihood of success that much greater. This is the same with meal prepping. Having a routine of scheduling healthy meals ahead of time takes a lot of the guess work out of progress.
Consistency. This last one can be the most difficult for many of us. Sticking with something and trusting the process even when you don’t see quick results. We expect years of unhealthy behavior to be erased in a month of diet and exercise. No, lifestyle change is what we need. Sticking with a behavior and celebrating small wins is the key to success. Going hard for a short period of time is not as good as steady consistent effort. Running 20 miles one day will not help our health as much as running one mile for 20 days straight. The same holds true for diet, self-care and anything else you are doing to improve your life. Be consistent and trust the process. Even when the results are not coming as fast as you would like. If you quit, you will never win. Do not give up!
Why is it so important to develop these three skills? In doing so, as the picture above states, we will become the asset! All of our material possessions, and positions of power, can be taken from us in the blink of an eye. The skills we develop in our mind, heart and spirit stick with us forever. If you develop these three skills and everything is taken from you, even unfairly, you have the foundation to build it back again. What is more important to focus on, things that can be taken from us, or skills we will keep forever? I think we all know the answer to that question.
Last post I had mentioned that Margie and I were going to depart to visit Green Island Jamaica. Although Jamaica is a place we have visited before, we have never been to this part of the island. When we were looking at everything we had planned this past week we did the usual things. We looked at the resort we were staying at. We thought about where we wanted to eat and the entertainment we wanted to enjoy. Did we want to do an excursion of any kind? What should we pack? This is what may of us do. Those things are all important, but they all revolve around the same principle. What are we going to get from this vacation. That is important to be sure. What many of us never ask is what do I want to give on this vacation.
In life, nobody likes the “What is in it for me?” type of person. We certainly do not want to be that person. Somehow on vacation, often people do not think that way. It could be the fact that you have shelled out much of your hard-earned money to go and be where you are. Maybe that causes an entitled feeling? It is worth remembering that the people helping you are not just doing their jobs, but helping your vacation be as enjoyable as it can be. Many of them cannot afford to take a vacation themselves. Showing them courtesy and appreciation can mean the world to them.
When we travel, we represent more than just ourselves. Think of that. We represent tourists in general. We represent the country we are from. When we were in Jamaica the second time, we happen to stay at a resort with many people from the same state we live in. They were generally entitled and unpleasant to the staff and other people at the resort. So much so Margie and I were tempted to say we were from somewhere else. That is when I realized that we had to be a good example. We went out of our way to learn about the locals we encountered. We treated everyone with dignity and respect. The lady in the first picture with us was Stephanie, a tour guide. We might have been the only people to talk to her and take a picture with her. In the Bahamas, we have the pleasure of meeting and chatting with many workers in different shops we went to. Even befriended a wonderful young lady who explained to Margie how much they needed her baking skills in the country. Still trying to convince Margie a move there would be a good idea.
The point of all of this is that we wanted to have a positive impact on every place we went. I shared my writing with many people and we tried to share smiles and kind words to everyone we met. The great thing about this idea? It does not have to be different countries that you do this in. It can be when you go out to eat, to coffee or to the hardware store. Think of what impact you leave in every place you go. Is it a positive one? Did you leave any impact at all? Be a light of compassion, understanding and positivity wherever you go. Whether that is around the block or around the world. The more you do this, the brighter your world, and the world in general will be.
Today will be my last workday before I leave for Sunny Jamaica on Monday. I thought this picture was funny, but the more I thought about it, there is some inspiration and direction to be found here as well. That flamingo will be me shortly, coconut drink and all. Hopefully I will not be as pink, but I will be laying in a chair just relaxing. Do you know why that is a powerful thing to do in our life?
Have you heard the funny cliche about how most of our good ideas come to us in the shower? Why do you think that is? Do our brains need humidity to function? Does the smell of our shampoo help our brain cells to work more efficiently? While I cannot speak to either of those notions, there is another answer that may surprise us. Taking a shower is one of the few times we give our minds a bit of time off. As technology and the speed of change increase, this becomes even more true. We have a device in our pocket that can occupy our minds no matter where we are. Scrolling videos in line at the grocery store. Checking our social media while conducting our business in the restroom. It would feel many of us lack a moment of sacred silence.
Our minds should be one of our hardest working employees. Through my first 3 books, I show you many tools and strategies to put that employee to work for you. Think of a human employee. If you give a person something to do 24/7, they will break down in a short amount of time. At the very least, they will not be operating at peak efficiency. It is not just being efficient that matters, but being creative too. When you are feeding your mind content that has been created by others, you leave it very little time to create its own. Not to mention, we need time to properly process that content we do assimilate. If not, it becomes a giant tangled mess in our brains. Does that sound familiar to any of us?
Yes, I will be creating content while in Jamaica. Mostly video content is my guess, but there will also be plenty of relaxation and time to enjoy my lovely lady. We both work so hard our time together is either spent brainstorming our creative endeavors or passing out in each other’s arms. Those are both wonderful to be sure, but leave little time for enjoying each other. Plus, who does not want creativity to blossom in their relationships both romantic and otherwise? This can only happen when we give our minds time to come up with those thoughts.
You might not be lucky enough to have a trip to Green Island Jamaica planned, but you can plan and schedule some time with your thoughts. Give your mind time to sort out the millions of bits of information we all digest on a daily basis. I think you will be surprised with things you come up with. Do not rely on the shower and right before you sleep. As a matter of fact, those of us who lay down only to find our minds wake up, display a need to spend this time. Your mind is begging to communicate with you all the time. If you never give it a chance, it will take the only time it has which is usually in the shower or when you are trying to fall asleep. Neither of which is terribly convenient. By scheduling time to unwind we will be able to sleep and shower better!
Last post we talked about protecting yourself from the virus of hate and jealousy. We suggested limiting exposure to the news, social media and negative people. As well as taking a different mindset when dealing with all three. There is another important step you can take to boost your immunity before you encounter any of those. Just like when you take a supplement to protect yourself against a physical virus, there are things you can do to boost your immunity to mental and spiritual viruses. Think of them as mindset supplements.
Take a look at the three categories described above and the wins they say you require. It is a pretty good list. Notice there are several ways to accomplish each. Most people focus on the physical one. That is helpful. Getting that heartrate up is good. It is equally important to protect our minds and our spirits. Have you ever thought about this? More importantly, do you take steps to do this? Admittedly, I need to do better at this myself. One of the benefits in sharing these tools and strategies with all of you is that it provides me a great reminder of areas in which I could use a little work. Most of you know I wake up at 4am and with little time to do much other than the essentials.
Not having a wealth of time is what must people, including myself, use to justify not addressing their mental and spiritual health first thing in the morning. Finding ways in which to both incorporate this into our morning routine, but also make it as easy as possible to do. Looking at the mental category. Reading, writing, creating and learning. The last two might need a little more time than we have in the morning. The first two, however, can be done with less time than we think and offer us a big return. You could have an inspirational book and read for 5 minutes each morning. I have a daily calendar that offers an inspiring quote each day. It takes less than 60 seconds, but plants an inspiring seed in your brain to grow throughout the day. Just a few minutes of journaling in the morning can be helpful. Not enough time? How about writing out your mantra for the day? That creates the mind/body connection before you leave the door!
Spiritual wins can be harder to define, but have a big impact on our lives. Once again we have four suggestions – praying, meditating, studying and growing. Again, the latter two may take a little more time, but praying and meditating can be accomplished in relatively little time. How important would it be to develop a mind and heart full of peace and calm before the world and all the craziness start to invade it? There are a million ways to pray and meditate, but find one that works for you. Spending even just a few minutes doing this will set you up for a much better day than just rushing out the door.
Once we leave the house we are subjected to all sorts of outside influences. People who do not understand the benefit of turn signals, news anchors determined to start our day with fear and hatred. Negative coworkers who would like to share their complaint or the day’s latest gossip. If we throw ourselves into this unprotected, we can find ourselves infected with the negativity virus. Your morning is yours! Use it to serve you before other things start competing for your time.
I am not sure if the quote pictured belongs to the great actor portrayed, but the point is still quite a valid one. In today’s world there are plenty of sources that could infect you with the virus of jealousy and hatred. News stories filled with hate and division. Social Media posts describing the life you should have and how far behind in life you are. Buying into either of these or multiple other sources could infect you with these viruses. Let us take a look at three of the biggest sources of contamination and how to protect yourself against them.
First is the news. Understanding a few things when you read the latest hate and fear-filled nonsense they are putting out will go a long way to prevent the infection. One, negative emotions sell. They profit and benefit by you being afraid or inciting division in your heart and thinking. The next thing to understand is that there are not my kinds of people out there. There are just people. Yes, we may have different opinions or ways of looking at the world, but we are all people. Human beings. We share many things in common as different as we may be. Do not let anyone convince you otherwise. It is a ticket to hate and violence.
It would be best to avoid the news as much as you are able. There is a difference of being informed and inundated. Social Media is something that many are addicted to. Blending online life with real life is so important. Here is an important reminder. YOU get to choose what you see on your social media account. Many say that social media is too negative. If that is the case in your world, start by subscribing to things that inspire and bring you joy. There really are pages for everything! Also, keep in mind most people only post their highlights on social media. You see the pictures after the workout, never when they are hyperventilating on the treadmill. Unless of course you follow my page in which you will see a little of both. Everyone has their own unique set of circumstances and experiences. That means we will achieve and succeed at different times. One is not necessarily better than the other.
Last source of infection is something we cannot always avoid, try as we may. That would be other people. In the world there are many sunshine-challenged people as I prefer to call them. It is why I started this website. Sharing the tools for self-improvement that we learn will benefit us all. It can be difficult to not let someone else ruin our day. Therefore, we must make it a point to include as many inspiring sources, as well as inspiring people, in our lives. Is there someone who makes you smile? Send them a message! Better yet, give them a call. Even better, make time to get lunch or a cup of coffee with them.
Following all of these bits of advice will help prevent you from contracting the terrible virus of hate and jealousy. It can even help cure us if we have already been infected. Take a look at the next post for an additional course of action to increase immunity against this virus!
Have you ever had one of those reminders that give you that kick in the butt you need? We all can fall victim of some less than empowering thinking. On my way to write today i was lamenting that the sun was not shining and I was feeling tired and a little less than inspired. Then a song came on the radio that changed everything.
The song was Who Gets to Live Like This,by Jimmy Buffett. In the song, Jimmy describes his life and how grateful he is for it. Living in the beach, the mail, and money, come by boat. He just has to relax and write songs. Swap ‘songs’ for ‘books’ and that would be the life for me!
I almost fell into the trap of thinking of how far away from this life I was. I live in a climate that is anything but tropical. I must get up at 4am to go to a day job. Then I thought about a post I had recently written explaining how we should be grateful for the blessings we have and the troubles we don’t.
Suddenly, my thinking began to shift to what was amazing about my situation. This morning I woke up and had a cup of Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee. Which is my favorite. I had some breakfast my thoughtful sister brought me. I was able to share both of those with a beautiful lady who happens to be marrying me. Yes, I have to go to a job, but it is only 5 days a week and allows me to pursue my passion.
We often need these reminders. Even those of us well-versed in the field of self-improvement. Here is the quandary and the solution. What do we do when we don’t have an inspiring song come on the radio? We must craft and schedule tools of strategies that inspire us! Develop morning rituals that empower us. Leave the house inspired and grateful! What tools and strategies can you think of that would do this? Share your ideas with the rest of us!
One of the many great tragedies in life is how often we ask children what they want to be, verses how often we ask adults, including ourself, that very same question. There are far too many of us working hard to just make it through the day. We have no lofty goal, no aspiration greater than ourselves. Then we wake up and wonder why we feel so overwhelmed and that our life is meaningless. You want a more meaningful life? Than choose what meaning you are going to give. Decide on the purpose of your life.
We all work far too hard to not give it direction. Imagine getting in your car with no idea where you wanted to go. Would it matter how fast you drove? Of course not. If you have a clear idea where you wanted to go, than no matter the speed, you would be getting ever closer. Even if you encountered a detour in the road, you would still no what direction to go in order to correct the course. If you didn’t, you might think a closed road would be the end of the journey. Life is much the same. If you have a clear purpose and direction for you life, a challenge is a mere course correction, not an end.
Spend a few quality minutes deciding on the purpose and direction for your life. Whenever this subject comes up, I always get the same question, “What if I pick the wrong purpose?” To that question, I will give you two answers. First, you can change your purpose in life and adjust accordingly. When I was very little I wanted to be a whale. Obviously after some learning about biology my answer changed. I have been in a rock band. I have been a bartender. Now I am an author working on my fourth book. If you would have asked the child who was short on his interspecies transformation if he wanted to be an author, he would have said ‘No!’. If you would have asked the rock singer and bartender the same question, neither would have jumped at the chance. As the years have gone by, I have changed and refined the purpose of my life.
Which leads to the second point, you will find out a lot sooner if your purpose no longer aligns with you life if you have one! Not picking a purpose because you are afraid of picking the wrong one makes no sense. It is like skipping an audition because you might not get the part. By not even going you will not fail, but you will also never succeed. You will also feel overwhelmed and like your life has no meaning. Pick a purpose, put your entire actions behind it and see where it goes. If it is not what you hoped, adjust accordingly.
There is a lot of talk about hustling and the grind out there. I am all for working hard. It is one of the best ways to purify the soul in my opinion. Striving to be the best version of yourself, whatever that may be, should be a goal for all of us. What we should avoid is being miserable through the entire journey. We spend most of our life on the journey. Even when we reach a goal we have been chasing, we celebrate a little and soon set our sights on the next goal to chase.
While it is healthy to pursue continual self-improvement, you do not have to be unhappy with your current state. Yes, things may not be as you wish they were, but there is beauty in that too. The hard days help us not to take the good days for granted. The challenges we go through along the way will help us enjoy the destination that much more. Life has a way of passing by in the blink of an eye. If we delay enjoying it until we reach some finish line, we may find we never get to enjoy it at all.
Today, focus on enjoying the journey. Remember that all of the bumps along the way form the incredible person we are. The strengthen our resilience and patience. They give us stories to tell and credibility to help others. There is beauty in all of life. Slow downn that you may appreciate it all.
This is a great challenge for all of us. The example of the rain is something we can all wrap our heads around, but it holds true in many examples of life. When something challenges our life, we often see it as something bad. Sure, life may not be the way we had planned or even wished for. If we look close enough, we will find some good that came out of it. There are several examples that come to mind when I think of this. While our own life may not seem as grand as the examples that I am going to reference, the principle is the same. As you read the following words, think of how you can apply them to your own life.
One of the people I really enjoy listening to is the Dalai Lama. His story in a nutshell is one of tragedy turned into triumph. Before him, the Lama was a sacred spiritual leader in Tibet. They lived in a palace and had very little worries. They were often disassociated with the common people. When China took over Tibet, the Dalai Lama fled with many of his followers. The made a long and dangerous journey into India. Through that, the position of Lama changed. He became someone that could relate to many more people. He was thrust into a position of importance. Without the invasion, many people would not have heard his words of compassion and wisdom.
Someone quite different from the Dalai Lama, but whose story has challenges just the same is David Goggins. Growing up, David’s father abused both him and his mother. They ended up moving to a different state where David faced racism, and more abuse. As you can imagine, this impacted his ability to learn in school and to develop as an individual. One day he realized that there was nobody to save him. That propelled him to take control of his own life. He lost over 100 pounds in 3 months, became a Navy seal. He became an ultra-marathon runner. Even running 8 100-mile races on back to back weekends. Now he shares his story online, in person events and his 2 books that he wrote. The challenges he faced in life could have been an excuse but instead became his source of motivation.
On the surface, these two men seem to have little in common. When we take a step back we see that the rain that might have ruined their picnic, ended up helping a part of them grow that would not have otherwise developed. What challenges in your own life can you put to use? What can you learn and develop in yourself from the challenges you have faced? What credibility do they give you?
Every challenge we face gives us choice. Will we define what this challenge means to our life and put it to work for us or will we let the challenge define us? Quite often, the more pain we survive, the more opportunity we have to help others. How do you view the ‘rain’ in your life? Do you use it to fuel growth or do you use it as an excuse not to grow?
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 