The title of this sounds a bit too grand to be true. I thought so at first as well. The plan to achieve anything you want was brought to us courtesy of Earl Nightingale. One of my favorite authors and speakers. Earl was actually a lot more than that and I encourage you to explore his many works. He developed a plan that required no more than 5 hours a week, none on weekends, and can give us anything we want in a surprisingly short amount of time.
Here is the method, short and sweet. Wake up one hour earlier every morning. Yes, I know this sounds difficult. I wake up everyday at 4am, so I can understand. When I tell you what you can accomplish with this idea, you will soon see it is worth it. Make yourself a nice cup of coffee or tea. Whatever you prefer. Sit down with a pad of paper and a pen. Yes, we are going old-fashioned here. There is a reason that makes it more powerful. Write your single goal on the top of the piece of paper. Now, begin to list as many ideas as you can for reaching that goal as your sip your brew. Do not judge them and understand most of your ideas will not be very good. Write them down anyway. All you need is one good idea to succeed. Shoot for 20 ideas a day. Working 5 days a week, this will give you 100 ideas a week. Can you see how the law of averages is with you?
Another benefit of doing this is the fact that it imbeds your goal into your mind, but conscious and subconscious mind. Your mind will be working on it as you go throughout your day. The wonderful idea you are looking for may not come to you in that hour you are working, but may pop into your head on the drive to work, or while waiting in line at the grocery store. By writing with pen on paper, we create a greater mind/body connection. This will help drive our goal into our mind even more.
Bonus idea!!!! While doing this to accomplish goals certainly makes sense, there are other applications that will transform your life just as powerfully. Can you imagine waking up and trying to come up with 20 ways to add love and connection to your relationship? How about ways to show yourself some self-care and inner peace? How about leave a great legacy for those behind you? Imagine trying to come up with 100 ideas a week on any of these subjects? How would that change your life?
I love this quote from Saint Francis. It reminds us that actions speak louder than words. How about you? Do you show consistent character? Do you treat everyone kindly and did not let outside circumstances determine the way you interact with others? I would love to tell you that this is true with me all of the time, but it is not. It must, however, be true often enough for some folks to notice and compliment me on it.
How many of you have children out there? If not children, how many are parents to one of our four-legged friends? Do they always listen when you tell them something? Children go to bed as soon as you utter the words. The dog sitting nicely whenever you tell him to do something? We all know that this is not how the world works. Do they follow you around and mimic your actions? Do they repeat things you say? (the children, not the dog) Even the things that you do not mean to say around them? It is not just children and animals that are this way. When our words do not match our actions we can be thought hypocritical or even worse.
Whatever the ‘gospel’ of your life is, do your best to preach it at all times. Use your words when absolutely necessary.
It should surprise nobody that human beings can be fickle creatures. One of the more amusing aspects of humanity is that we often focus on what we lack, or what we have left to do. We often build it up to be far more that it actually is. In a strange twist of irony, we minimize the importance of how much we have accomplished or how far we have come.
It is certainly not helpful to rest on your laurels. Looking back and appreciating them from time to time can certainly be helpful. Knowing that we have made it through some very tough challenges, some of which we may have thought that we never would have made it through, can give us the confidence that we can make it through the challenge we are now facing. David Goggins refers to it as ‘the cookie jar’. Something he reaches for in his mind when facing a tough situation. This is a man who runs 200 miles without stopping in Death Valley in the summer! He knows a thing or two about overcoming challenges.
How about you? What is in your cookie jar? Not the one in the kitchen, but the one in your own head? What accomplishments and overcoming of challenges do you have? It can be helpful to sit down and list them. A little of both. Read over that list on a tough day when you are feeling like you cannot persevere. It will also help ingrain them in your mind so that when a tough challenge pops up unexpectedly you have them front and center. It can give you that boost of confidence you need to live the amazing life you deserve!
One of my favorite speakers is Inky Johnson. He often says that perception drives performance. Here is one example that came to mind – vanity. There are so many of us that use vanity as an excuse. I am too old to do this. I am not fit enough to do this. I am not smart enough to do this. It can prevent us from taking the steps we need to improve our life and give us the life we have been dreaming of. We must realize that what others think of us will never be more important than an opportunity to improve our own life. As the saying goes, “What you think about me is none of my business.”
That speaks to the first half of the picture above. The second half speaks to using vanity to push you to improve your life. Realizing that learning, working out or other things that may cause us to look foolish or lacking in the present may be necessary to improve our life in the future. Would you risk looking silly being the oldest person at the gym? As a 50-year-old that regularly hyperventilates on the treadmill, I can attest to this.If you let the fear of being the oldest person at the gym keep you from getting in shape, you might be forced with being comfortable being the youngest person at the nursing home.
This does not only go for fitness. It is true in learning as well. When we are first starting to learn something we often look foolish. If we are willing to suffer that lack of vanity, we will acquire the skills that will help us look, and be, intelligent in the long-run. Meditation is another arena that this is true. First starting out can seem foolish. Once we master it the benefits are insane.
Vanity, like many other aspects of life, can be a tool or an excuse. It all depends on your perspective. The same can be true of regret, fear and a million other emotions and conditions. It is our mindset and our attitude at the beginning of a task that has the greatest impact on its outcome. To quote Inky Johnson, “Our perspective will drive our performance.”
Monday can be tough for anyone. In addition to what life throws at us, we now have to deal with what the boss throws at us as well. This can leave us feeling drained, and even defeated at the end of the day. It can have us wondering how we can manage to make it to another day. It is important to remember that is where true courage comes from.
Many people think that ‘courage’ means taking on a lofty challenge or goal. It can be that. What is also courage, and often takes a great deal more is to wake up and face another day when you feel you have nothing left. That is also courage. Remember when you put your head on the pillow, head filled with doubts and fears, only to rise another day, that makes you courageous. When you feel you have lost everything that was dear to you, but still you go on. That is courage. When life knocks you down, but you slowly get back up, that makes you courageous.
Sometimes the greatest courage in life is that small voice that whispers to us. That takes courage to listen to.
The good-looking and charming gent above is me, while writing these blogs at my favorite Starbucks. While working here I tend to block out what is happening around me. This annoys Margie, but comes in handy when trying to complete a blog or book. The banter of the staff, the sometimes loud music and conversation of other patrons can be hard to block out for some. That is what Margie informed me of as she worked on her school work. For me, I get lost in the writing and look up to find an entirely different staff and group of people sitting around me. This happens more often than I care to admit.
Today was a little different. As I was writing my blogs I was casually observing the conversations being had around me. The staff here does an excellent job of greeting everyone who comes in. Quite often that greeting is followed by an inquiry as to the state of the individual. That could be a simple, “How are you today?” to something a little more in depth. It is nice to see that much engagement. Here is the crazy thing, most of the responses were negative. By most, I mean all of the ones that I heard. If you are keeping score at home, after being greeted by several employees and then asked how their day was going, most of the people had something negative to say. One man complained it was too sunny for him, only to follow up with the line, “At least it isn’t cloudy like it has been.” I thought to myself, “Wait, you are mad that it is sunny, but were not happy it was cloudy?” Between you and me, I do not think that leaves many other options.
In addition to these back and fourth quick engagements, I also caught pieces of conversations between several parties sitting down having coffee together. There were some discussing their disappointment the the state of government affairs. Another involved complaints about how their children were handling their lives. I understand wanting to vent to a friend. It is good for our mental health. Do you know what else is good for our mental health? Some positivity!
While discussing this with my friend Jason, he made what I think was a great analogy. When are we more likely to leave a review, after good service or bad? Here is the crazy thing, how do we feel after writing such a review? Sure, we may feel vindicated in the moment. We also usually relive the moment in our mind as we are typing. This often has us upset all over again. Now ask yourself, how do you feel after relaying good news to a friend? How do you feel after hearing their good news?
To recap, we feel worse when discussing something negative and happy when discussing something positive. In reflection, how much of our conversation falls into either category? I am just as guilty and find this a great opportunity to improve this aspect of my life. Here is my idea and I would love to hear yours. From now on when someone inquires as to my well-being, I am going to do my best to answer with something I am grateful for. This will accomplish two things at once. One, it will reduce my default negative response and two, it will also increase my overall feeling of gratitude.
I am inviting you to do two different things with me. Next time you are out in public, casually observe the tone of the conversations. If you work with the public, notice most people’s response to the question of how are they. Second, think of your own conversations and greetings. Do they involve “Finally being out of work.” or is it “Happy to be above ground!” Will you join me in answering the question, “How are you?” with something you are grateful for? I would love to know what you think about this and how you feel it will affect your life.
Last post we took a long hard look at our view of discipline and how it can be sabotaging our success. If you did not have a chance to read that, may I strongly suggest that you go back to take a look. Today we are going to look at a somewhat broader category of how we view life in general. It will not only give you the motivation to get more done, but make life a lot more enjoyable. Especially the struggles we all have to go through on our journey of self-improvement.
When we are looking to purchase something, the first question many of us ask is, “What will this cost?” This makes sense. We need to understand how much of our funds, time or effort will this item cost. Is there a more economical option? If so, we generally will gravitate towards that. This holds true for most material things. Then why do any of us buy a diamond ring? Surely there are cheaper options. When I asked my beautiful lady to marry me, I could have got the ring out of a gumball machine. Despite what I told her, that is not what happened. Before we answer why we often purchase more expensive items, let us look at some other examples.
Think of effort. There are things that take a great deal of effort. Working out to get in shape. That takes a lot of effort. Who would want to do that? There are gyms that are always busy though. Speaking of gyms, after the new year they are usually even busier. By February, they are back to their usual amount of people. Why? This can be answered with the mindset we will be discussing. How about healthy eating? How many people start with the best intention and end up with a face full of tacos? Think of projects we begin with great enthusiasm. Maybe a house renovation or even a relationship? Only to find our house the same or with one less person in it.
How can we work to improve success in all of those endeavors and why do we sometimes purchase more expensive items when there are cheaper ones readily available? The picture above does an amazing job of answering that question. Here is how to both increase your chances of success in life as well as making it less stressful. How does that sound for a great equation? Greater success and less stress getting it? Making it through that hard workout without throwing in the towel, literally and figuratively? Will you still be hyperventilating and sweating like a high schooler on exam day? Sure, but you will be doing so with a smile on your face and a determination to stick with it. This will not only help you say ‘no’ to the free doughnuts in the breakroom and stick to your healthy eating goals, but whatever resolution you make on New Year’s Eve or any other day as well.
This change in mindset will also help free you from spending time on things that are not really important to you. The mindset change simply involves asking yourself one different question. Instead of asking yourself “What will this cost me?” switch to asking yourself “What is this worth to me?” In addition to focusing on the destination, it gives purpose to the goal. When you are on the treadmill and your lungs feel like they are about to explode, are you thinking about the pain and discomfort? Most of us are. That is why it is so hard for people to stick with a fitness plan. The next time they are going to the gym they are thinking of everything it is going to cost them. The drive there. The discomfort of their muscles as they are working out. The soreness they will experience after. If you are focused on all of these things, you will not make it long-term.
Now, if you ask yourself, “Is good physical fitness worth it to me?” That will lead to a different focus. Is it worth it to be able to keep up with your kids or grandkids? Is it worth it to be able to go up a flight of stairs without the aid of a team of sherpas and a liter of oxygen? Are the sore muscles worth being able to stand for long periods of time without your back feeling like it is going to break in two? Is the stigma of being the oldest person in the gym worth not being the youngest person in the nursing home?
That is the fitness example. It is pretty straight forward and easy to understand. Here is something a little trickier and more sensitive. It works the same in your relationships. When you think of a relationship there is lots of work involved. This is especially true if you want a deep and successful one. Is it worth sacrificing your happiness for that of your partner or the relationship on occasion? Is having awkward and difficult discussions to establish rules and borders within the relationship? How about the disagreements when you have opposing values? When you focus on these things, staying single seems like a better option.
Now ask yourself questions about worth. Is it worth it to have a person to always come home to? Is it worth it to have someone who often understands you better than you understand yourself? Is having someone you know will always have your back? How about love that will grow and continue to teach you about yourself and life in general? Having someone to wrap your arms around on a cold winter night, is that worth it to you? If it is, you will gladly suffer the costs if you continue to focus on the value and worth of the relationship.
In some of these cases the honest answer may be ‘no’ and that is ok. It would be better for us to know this at the onset. If you tell yourself “I am going to start working out in the new year.” Ask yourself how much is being physically fit worth to you? Is it worth the challenges you will have to overcome? If not, it may be better for you to focus on a goal that is more in line with your value.
Do not take my word on this. Try it for yourself. Trade focusing on cost to focusing on worth and see how much more determination and discipline you will find yourself having. It will also help reduce the stress going through these challenges knowing how much the payoff is worth to you.
Many of us have a negative association with the word ‘discipline’. It starts from childhood where we are disciplined for perceived bad behavior. This can be standing in the corner, a spanking or any other sort of punishment. In fact, it is here where we see discipline and punishment as the same. Then we move to school. Not much better here. We can be disciplined for acting up in class. Maybe even leading the class on an impromptu field trip while the teacher is out of the room. Say to the park…down the street. Who knew that was against the rules? Obviously not me in pre-school.
This is where another negative association to discipline begins. If our grades are not up to standards, we are told we have to be disciplined in our studies. This can result in long hours of pouring over the books and missing much of the fun our friends are enjoying. As an adult, things to not get much better. We have to be disciplined in our eating if we want to be healthy. This can mean missing out on many of our favorite foods. It can be forcing ourselves to eat many things we do not enjoy. We have to be disciplined about going to work. That sure is fun isn’t it? Roughly 87% of us do not like our current occupation. So that discipline is not enjoyable for most of us.Even as we leave work we have to remain disciplined in doctor visits and taking medication. Not much fun there.
Here is what nobody tells us. Discipline is the key to freedom. In each of the examples above, with maybe the exception of my pre-school adventures, the discipline was helping us gain some freedom. Learning how to properly behave in society allows us to have the freedom to get along once we are out on our own. Being disciplined in our studies not only helps us learn skills we will need in the real world, but shows us the value of committing focused time and effort to developing a skill. As far as being disciplined with our health, that gives us the freedom to enjoy a life with less sickness and injury. Life is no fun when you are constantly at home with the latest illness going around. Being disciplined with coming into work will keep us employed and earning a paycheck. As far as remembering to go to the doctor and take our meds, well that keeps us…alive! Freedom there!
We are taught to view discipline as what we have to go through, or even as a punishment. What many of us are not made aware of is what that discipline will result in. This change in mindset can transform our lives. Not only will it assist us in sticking to our discipline, it will make it more enjoyable. All of that will lead to a more successful life. If you will like to learn more about the power of this mindset change, join us tomorrow when we dive deeper into it.
We might want to begin by clearing up a little confusion regarding the title of this post. Yes, it does say ‘beaver’ in the title. No, this is not a picture of a beaver. Yes, it is a picture of the moon. It was taken outside of my work this morning. It is known as the ‘Beaver Full Moon’. That is why we used the word beaver in the title. Now that we have all of that straight, let us focus on what it can teach us about life and how to live it better.
Throughout history, there have been many beliefs attached to the full moon. Some based on science. Most based on myth. The one I would take a look at revolves around using the cycles of the moon to focus on different aspects of our lives. This is not about some esoteric or metaphysical thought, but how to use those for a very practical application.
When we are looking to improve our lives, there are really 2 avenues to go about that. We are trying to add healthy attitudes and behaviors and we are also trying to eliminate unhealthy behaviors and attitudes. That is pretty much a given. Trying to do them both at once can be very overwhelming. The metaphysical thought about the moon cycles is that you should use them to focus on one of these at a time. As the moon goes from full to new moon, thus getting smaller, you should focus on things you wish would grow smaller in your life. Eat less junk. Have less negative self-talk. Take your pick. When the moon is going from new moon to full moon, thus getting bigger, you should focus on things you wish to grow in your life. This could be getting more physical activity. It could be showing more gratitude to your partner or in general. Again, this goes for any healthy habit.
I am not sure if the cycle of the moon helps our endeavors or not. What I do know is it is a constant rather large reminder in the sky we can use to help us on our journey of self-improvement. It can also reminder to focus on one side of the coin and then the other. We are less likely to be overwhelmed and more likely to be successful.
Has anyone ever told you, “You have changed.” Usually, it is not a good thing. They are attempting to bring to our attention that a behavior or attitude that we used to have is changed. That makes most people uncomfortable. This holds true if our new behavior or mindset is contrary to the one they knew us to have. Perhaps you used to be the life of the party. You could drink a few beers, slam a few shots and would just take the next day off of work. Now, you drink water, are focused on your fitness and show up to work on time. If the person hung around with you before, it might make them uncomfortable to deal with the change. This is even more true if they have stayed the same.
Many people fear being left behind by friends who evolve. In some cases this fear is legitimate. If you are looking to change a behavior, it is quite helpful to no longer associate with individuals who engage in that behavior you are looking to leave behind. If you were formally close to that individual, it can be a little painful for that to happen. If you are the person worrying about being left behind, it can not only be painful, but scary as well. That is why they will tell you that you have changed with an attitude of making you feel as though you are not being authentic to yourself. Part of this is them transferring their fear and disappointment in their own progress on you.
A greater reason for people using the phrase, “You’ve changed.” is our inability to communicate our feelings. There really should be a class taught to us when we are young on how to properly say the often difficult things that we feel. Just yesterday I heard it said that “They tell you that you have changed because they do not know how to say you have grown.” That is something we must understand, growth takes change. If we stay the same we can stay stagnate. The picture above captures it beautifully. To become a butterfly, we cannot remain a caterpillar. Growth can be painful and many may accuse us of changing who we are, but just remember that is because they do not know how to tell us that we have grown.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 