Tag: self-improvement

THE BIGGEST DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MONEY AND TIME 🕑

This could not ring more true. Our time is far more valuable than our money. They say that you can always earn more money, but you can never earn more time. What makes life so precious is the fact that it ends. Far too many of us spend time stressing about the past. Mistakes we made, things we could have done better, things we should have done. This is rather crazy. Get the lesson from it and move on. The past is over with and cannot be changed with all the regret in the world. On the opposite side of the spectrum, many of us spend a great deal of time worried about the future. There is one, and only one way to affect the future, and that is by making the most of today. Worried you will not have enough money in the future? Start by saving and starting a retirement plan today. Worried about your health in the future? Start a fitness and healthy eating program today.

The best way to fully make use of your time is to be fully present today. How do we do that? Put down the phone, the remote and the laptop. Pick up a cup of coffee with a friend or with the birds in the park. A great exercise is to sit still somewhere and pay attention to each of your senses in turn. Think of sitting in a coffee shop. You could smell the fresh ground coffee, maybe some caramel. You would hear the roaring of the espresso machine. You could touch the wooden table, feel the warmth of your coffee mug. Taking a sip of that coffee, you could really focus on the taste. Try to discover as many flavor notes as you can. Look around and take note of what you see. What is the most common expression people have on their faces? How is the sun coming through the window, or did some heartless soul close all the blinds so the room is dark and resembles a tomb?

Another one of my favorite places to do this is in nature. To really make the most of it, you should be stationary. Find a nice bench in a park and grab a seat. Look around and notice the different songbirds you see. Maybe the sun reflecting off the pond. Close you eyes and listen. Do you hear the songs of the birds? Perhaps you hear the sound of the leaves blowing in the wind? Keeping your eyes closed, you can feel the wind blowing on your skin. Smell the oxygen in the air from all of the trees. Wait…is someone grilling in the picnic area? You could always try to convince them you need a hamburger to do the taste portion of this exercise.

I cannot emphasize enough how many of us lack the ability to be present. It is a difficult thing to do in today’s world. Distractions are everywhere. The phone is beeping. There are flashing electric signs everywhere. All too often, we only appreciate the moment in a memory. Those memories will be a lot richer, as will our lives, if we take time to be present. Try the activity mentioned above. Pick somewhere and notice as many of your senses as you can. You will be surprised at how much you are missing. If you like, share your experiences in the comments below.

FORGET EYE CANDY, BE SOUL FOOD.

It is Friday the 31st. That means it is both the end of the week, and the end of the month. It is time to reset for both a new week and a new month ahead. Even if you happen upon this post on a day other than the one on which it is released, it is still a great time to take a step back and reset. Here in the United States where I live, summer is about to begin. People are busy working to make their summer body ready for the beach. That is good. Focusing on health and taking care of our appearance can be very beneficial. When we look good, we tend to feel good about ourselves as well.

An even more important thing to focus on is our inner beauty. Yes, having friends or a partner that is eye candy can be fun, but what really makes you attractive is being soul food for someone. I can speak for this as I am lucky to have both. My lady is not only extremely beautiful, and makes me so proud when we are out together, but she is even more than that. When we are home alone we have some of the most fun and silly conversations. We read together. We laugh together. We learn together. Recently, we even began exploring the world together by going on vacations.

It is important to look and feel our best, but why not develop our inner beauty and character? That is where true attraction is. Having friends that nourish our soul and help us believe in ourselves, that is priceless. While you are working on your six pack, or just reducing the size of your keg, why not work on your listening skills? How about developing your compassion while developing your biceps? Working on lifting your backside? That is great, but what about the ability to lift others up?

Ask yourself, would you rather have someone around you who just looks good, or someone who makes you feel good? Someone who is good for your ego or someone who is good for your soul? When I think about people that I would like to spend time with, it is their soul that makes me want to include them in my life. Focus more on being soul food and less on being eye candy.

A PHILOSOPHY FOR US ALL 🧘‍♀️

This post comes to you on a Monday. This can be one of the toughest days of the week for many. In actuality, every day should be a challenge. Why? We should be challenging ourselves. This idea of never ending improvement is a good one. We can always be healthier, smarter and most importantly, kinder. Tony Robbins has a term he uses called ‘C.A.N.I.’ standing for “Constant and never-ending improvement”. Many of us are living life focused on a achieving or obtaining a certain goal. That is all well and good, but then what?

Whether you are 18 or 80, we should be working to be the best version of ourselves. It not only helps in our relationships with others, but with the world at large. The better version of ourselves we become, the more we can enjoy the world around us. Ask yourself how you can improve today. Even if it is just one percent.

A SIMPLE PATH TO FOLLOW 🛣

It is Sunday, so we will not have you read too much. Plus, the picture above pretty much says it all. We do not need a specific belief or dogma to be good people. We need to simply live with compassion and a respect for other’s human dignity. I would extend that to other living things as well, but that is a subject for a different post. That is not to say you should not follow a faith. If you have one that helps foster these basic characteristics, that is fabulous! If someone else has a different faith that helps then foster these same traits, that is fabulous too!

I think as humans we have a tendency to over complicate things. This includes our faiths. We also seem to like conflict. If someone has different dogma or rituals than us, but that person is a good human, that’s great! We should not care if they worship in a different way or on a different day. The question we need to know is, “Are you a good human?” If the answer is yes, the rest is really none of our business. Treat others how you wish to be treated. Even if they don’t do the same.

DO NOT SUFFER MORE THAN NECESSARY 😢

Here is a fresh reminder to do your best to keep things in perspective. We often suffer dreading an upcoming event long before the event occurs. This only extends the time we spent in suffering. This may seem like something only a fool would do. To that end, I would like to ask you if you can recall the days leading up to your last dental appointment? How about your last proctology exam? Hopefully they were two different doctors. We can get ourselves all worked up, and end up have a nearly painless experience. Then again, it may not be painless, but what has worrying and suffering before the experience done other than to serve us up an additional helping of suffering?

Instead, I would encourage you to focus on the best possible outcomes of any situation. Not only will this help reduce the stress before hand, but may also help manifest a better outcome. You can always focus on the long-term result. Such as the dentist. It may hurt in the short term, but you will end up feeling better, and usually looking better, in the long term.

Do not suffer the needless in your mind. Focus on both the long-term results as well as the best possible outcome. This is one of many ways to reduce stress in our lives.

DON’T TAKE 5 YEARS! 😕

I love Marilyn Monroe. One of my favorite Hollywood icons. Margie and I have many Marilyn things at our house. This quote, although an exaggeration I am sure, makes a good point. How many of us have a hard time letting go of anger and frustration? When I use the term ‘us’ I am certainly including myself. When someone does something to upset me, I have a hard time letting it go. This is even more true if I do not understand why they did it in the first place. This is a character flaw I am working on, but still working on. Finding myself hours later asking, “Why would someone say/do something so hurtful?” is not only frustrating, but debilitating.

What I mean is that holding on to anger only extends the physical, mental and emotional discomfort after the original event has passed. This is like letting that person hurting you over and over again. It can also cause you increased blood pressure, upset stomach and suppressed immune system. This can lead to things like heart issues, ulcers and other illness. Is that really worth pondering why some fool cut you off in traffic? I would guess not.

One of the best ways not to have this issue is to take the suggestion of Marilyn above and try to avoid getting upset in the first place. There are several ways to do this including the realization the we can never be 100% sure of anyone’s intention. It also includes attaching new meanings to actions that offend and upset us. The most powerful way to beat anger is with gratitude. Being grateful will not allow us to be angry, at least not at the very moment we are being grateful. Whatever you do, work on reducing the amount of time you spend in anger.

MONDAY MOTIVATION 😎

Preparation, dedication and discomfort. Those are three words not many of us like to hear much less apply. Opportunity, success and growth sound a lot better. Yet, the first is the price of the second. We do not like going to the gym, but we like to be able to make it up a flight of stairs without employing a host of sherpas. We would much rather eat pizza everyday, but it is nice to be able to fit in our clothes. We find it uncomfortable to meet strangers, but we love making new friends. One has to happen in order for the other to take place. The more we do the former, the more we receive the latter.

Understanding this simple formula will not only allow us a greater measure of success, but will also help us make it through a greater deal of challenges along the way. When you are hyperventilating on the treadmill and your mind and body are screaming for you to stop, you know eventually this will lead to a stronger heart and more energy on the back end. When you are tempted to quit hitting the books, and start hitting the clubs, remember the formula. One action gives you a diploma to hang. The other course of action leaves you with nothing more than a hangover.

In life, there are rules that if we use them, will help us to live an amazing life. Knowing the harder we work, the more successful we will become is not only an important thing, it is the only thing. The more you prepare, the better you can take advantage of opportunities. The harder you work, the more successful you will become. Sure, it may not happen as soon as you want, but it must happen. You can rest peacefully in the knowledge that your labors will lead to success. It is as simple as this formula.

A LIFE SECRET 🙊

This is one of the many thought patterns that I use to help me live an amazing life. Allowing situations to be what they are is so key to reducing stress and increasing productivity. So many people spend their energy upset and complaining about why a situation is not to their liking. The only effect that this has is to raise their own stress level. We all know what a prolonged raise in stress can do to us both mentally as well as physically.

Allowing situations to be as they are does not mean you allow yourself to be victim to those situations. Quite the opposite. Fighting against the reality of the situation is like swimming against a current. You may certainly wish the river was flowing in the opposite direction. You can even complain that it is not. Neither of these will change the situation of the river, or more importantly, your situation. Conversely, accepting the river is going in the opposite direction you may want to go, and then making the best of it, may be getting out of the river and walking on the shore. Sure, it might not be as quick as if you were in a river flowing in the right direction, but it will be a lot less stressful, and a lot more productive, than swimming against the current.

In your own life, there are many situations that we wish were different. Accepting them for what they are, followed by asking ourselves how we can make the best of them is a secret to an amazing life.

HOW MUCH YOU LEARN 📚

Today is Thursday. It is about that time in the week when we begin to falter. Where we might have started the week out with enthusiasm and gusto, the weight of our endeavors may begin to start feeling heavy right about now. This holds especially true if you find yourself going through one of those periods where everything you touches turns to…well…manure let us say. Whatever you are involved in seems to go wrong. If you haven’t had one of these periods, rest assured it will happen. It is also rather frustrating. The harder you seem to try, the more mistakes you seem to make. It can feel like digging your way out of a hole.

It is leaning into the photo that started this blog that will help us. Raise your hand if you know that you learn far more from mistakes than from almost anything else. Keep your hand up if you look forward to making those mistakes in an effort to learn. I am guessing most of you put your hands down now. None of us like to make mistakes. At the moment we make them, it can be hard to look at them objectively and understand they are nothing more than a learning opportunity. Practicing this will benefit us in two ways.

My lovely lady is a cake designer. A very good one at that. This is one of her many creations. Being that all I know about cakes is how to eat one, I usually try to stay out of her way when she is creating them. On occasion, our paths do intersect when this process is taking place. What she is able to do never ceases to amaze me. Here is another fact about this amazing lady – she usually takes things to the last minute. wanting to deliver fresh cakes, and the need to make some parts shortly before the order is picked up, leave very little room for error. With stress levels that high, when a mistake does occur…well did I mention I usually try to stay out of her way?

One of the coolest parts of this happening, is that she always finds a way to create a new process or create a new way of putting things together that allow the cake to be completed and look amazing. Many of these ideas would never be realized had the misfortune not occurred and the pressure not be on. If you were to ask her if she would like for the frosting to melt, or some other cake related tragedy to happen at the last minute, I am positive she would say ‘No’. Being the honest lady she is, I am sure she will be the first to tell you that some of her best ideas come in these situations.

How about you? Do stress and challenges force you to stretch your mind and engage creative thinking that you may normally not use? That is true of all of us. Mistakes can be a vein of gold in regards to learning. To get the most out of that mine, we must be looking for what we can learn from our mistakes. Next time you find yourself seemingly making one mistake after another, ask yourself, “What on earth can I learn from all of this?” In order to overcome the emotional aspect of the moment, here is an idea. Start by reflecting on some mistakes you have made in the past and ask yourself what you have learned from them. The more you do this, the more mistakes will actually be something to be grateful for.

HOW SOCIAL MEDIA ‘DOESN’T’ WORK 💔

Ah, social media, the blessing and curse of modern society. There are two great lessons in the example above. To get the most out of social media, and life in general, we are going to look at both of them. We will want to repost this as often as we can in an effort to help the social media experience be better across all platforms.

The first lesson should be obvious, but since there is such an example, it must not be. That is this – if you find something that you object to online, feel free NOT to comment on it. You could just scroll past. Also, drawing conclusions such as the ones our imaginary friend did above happens far too often. Especially during an exchange between what is, at least chronologically, two adults. On social media, and in life, because someone likes something, or perhaps does not like something, does not mean they are evil, have a plan to take over the world or any other conspiracy that people launch into.

The second, and slightly less obvious, lesson is that you do not need to share everything on social media. If it will not add to the good of the world, what is the sense of posting it? Perhaps it may start some disagreement such as above. As we noted earlier, the world is full of people just waiting to get offended by something. This is not to say you just restrict yourself, just ask what is the reason for you posting what you are about to share with the world. Are you someone constantly posting ‘anti’ things against causes you despise? What is the purpose of that? Do you honestly think you will change someone’s mind? I hate to ruin it for you, the answer is likely ‘no’.

In conclusion, while enjoying social media, do not feel compelled to comment on everything that may affect you emotionally in a negative way. If something inspires, motivates or just makes you happy, by all means thank the person. Ask yourself why you feel so compelled to comment and why something someone wrote on an online platform excites you so much? Could your energy be better spent on a task that would help take your life to the next level? Is getting so upset by some words on a screen really good for your health or your spirit? If you find yourself so upset, go for a walk in nature. Do a good deed for another. These actions will have you feeling far better than a juvenile back and forth online.