Tag: self-improvement

USE THIS DOUBLE-EDGED SWORD ⚔️

One of the most interesting things in my life has been regret. This emotion is certainly a tricky one. It can paralyze us. How many of us beat ourselves up over actions we took long ago that we can’t undo. I know I still do on occasion. I used to tell people that this was foolish. However, much like everything in life, I asked myself how I could use this feeling. The worse I felt, the more powerful the feeling was. That, in itself, was the answer. It was a very powerful emotion, albeit a negative one. How could I, and more to the point you, use this situation to our advantage?

Regret is one of the worst emotions. At funerals it even surpasses loss. Wishing you would have, or should have done or said this or that can torment you for the rest of your life. Here is what I have learned about regret – it can be something to be grateful for. This may sound crazy, but let me explain. In my own life there have been so many regrets. I think about the way I acted and treated certain people. Many of those words and actions cannot be undone. What those terrible feelings can do is drive me to treat everyone the best I can moving forward. I regret not taking better care of myself, but those feelings can help me focus on my physical and mental health moving forward.

A lot of people will tell you that you should get over regret. I am going to tell you to use it. Whenever those feelings crop up, find a way to do the opposite. Regret not telling someone you love them before they passed away? Reach out to a friend that is in your life currently and let them know how much you care. The best way to deal with regret is to put it to work for you creating an amazing life.

THE ULTIMATE MEASURE OF A PERSON 📏

A few posts back we spoke about the dangers of letting comfort become an addiction. Many of you were asking, “Why seek discomfort?” This is a fair question. Why spend your life pushing and pursuing the difficult path. For one, it leads to greater destinations. The steeper the climb, the better the view. If you wish to become truly great in any field, there will be lots of work and sacrifice. Nobody has ever grown to greatness sitting on the couch.

Another reason is put forth to us in the quote above by the great Martin Luther King Jr. It is challenging times that give us the best opportunity to show our true character. In this quote he uses the term ‘man’ but it holds equally true no matter the gender. Challenges provide us an opportunity to stand up for others and for our principles. It is easy to stand up for what is right in a room full of people who agree with us. Will we still be willing to stand up for what we feel is right when it is unpopular? When it is difficult?

More important that the opportunity to prove ourselves to others, is the chance to prove ourselves to…well…ourselves. Will you still make it to the gym after a hard day at the office? (hint, that is the day it might be most beneficial) Will you still be able to be kind to others when your life is going through a rough patch? These are things that you can only find out for sure during the dark times.

Challenging times are never fun, and life can often seem too full of them. Still, they can provide opportunities that just cannot be found when life is easy. Next time a challenge comes into your life, ask yourself how you can put it to use for you. Before long you will become just as grateful for the challenges as you are for the good fortune.

BECOME INDEPENDENT!

Today in the United States, we celebrate this country’s independence. Our wonderful friends across the pond in England, I imagine not so much. Today’s post is about something a little more personal. Something that we should all be looking to celebrate – personal independence.

In the world we live in, there are far too many people doing things for social media likes, click bait and to strive for their 15 minutes of fame. Here is what many of them fail to realize. If you are doing something for the approval or attention of others, you have become indebted to them. They rule you. Of course we do not want to look at it that way. This does not stop it from being true. What we need are individuals who are brave enough to declare their own independence. Free from the opinions of people on social media. Free from the approval of the masses.

Few things are more painful than when you hear about a young person doing something because they wanted to be cool. Most of the time these things are dangerous, harmful to others or just stupid. All because they did not have the independence to do what they knew was the right and honorable thing to do.

Today, let us declare our independence. Let us do what we know is right and not what will get us likes. You cannot be truly free until you are free from the concerns of the opinions of others. We must be free to take the actions that will allow us to become the best versions of ourselves, even if they prove to be unpopular. There may not be fireworks or a parade, but personal independence is something worth celebrating.

THE VITAL FIRST STEP ☝️

Another great stoic quote! You may be thinking that you are not currently sailing to any port. In life, a ‘port’ can be any worthwhile destination. The greatest failure of modern humans is their lack of clarity on what they want out of life. If you ask someone what their goals are, they give you answers like “I want to be healthy, happy and make more money.” Sure, we all do. Those goals are generic and pretty much go for everyone.

The ‘port’ to which we are referring to is the overall purpose of your life. What are you here for? Some people say they are waiting to discover their purpose. As if life were going to drop down out of the sky and hand them a big sign telling them what they should be working towards. That isn’t going to happen and that is not how it works. We must decide what our purpose is. What sets our heart on fire with passion and desire? Here is a clue, it has to be something greater than ourselves.

Without clarity and direction in our life, any amount of good fortune will be wasted. Not to mention, the more clear we become in our purpose for life, the more likely we will be able to use any wind in life to assist us. Even the ones that seem to be blowing against us. Without a destination in life, we are not very likely to get far. In fact, we are most likely to spend our days filled with confusion and frustration. It will seem as if life is going in circles and we are getting nowhere.

Invest some time today to get perfectly clear what you want out of your life. It will be one of the most profitable investments you could make. It will not only help you take advantage of any good fortune in your life, it will help you reduce stress along the way.

ONE OF THE WORST ADDICTIONS 🫨

What a perfect post for a Monday! While it may be true that Marcus Aurelius was not privy to some of the wicked substances we have today, he is certainly on to something here. All of us, myself included, are guilty of becoming slaves to our comfort. There are things we know we should do, but we do not because they cause us some discomfort. Yes, we should meal prep, but that takes time and effort. We worked all day and it would be far easier to throw in a pizza. We know we should work out, but eating that pizza and watching a little television certainly sounds a lot more comfortable.

Once in a while it can certainly be to our benefit to take a little take to ourselves. Here is the tricky bit, it can lead to quite a bit of time. I find this true with the gym in my own life. I love going to the gym. It helps me a great deal with stress more than anything. I know after a great workout, I will not only be less stressed, but I will have more energy in the back end. I usually go to the gym 3 or 4 times a week. There are times when something crops up that I miss a day. Do you know what seems to happen after that? Something else crops up the next day…and the day after that. Before long, it has been a week or two and I haven’t returned to the gym. Comfort becomes…well…too comfortable. I know that I will feel better if I go, but my mind and body have become used to the sloth it is engaged in.

The ironic part about comfort, is that it slowly ruins our life. It is in discomfort that growth occurs. Think of any area that you wish to improve in your life. It will take some discomfort and effort. Comfort can become a habit…a dangerously destructive habit. Do not become addicted to comfort. Become addicted to success and improving yourself.

YOU CAN, AND SHOULD, DO IT!😃

Today is an event that happens but once a year. I run a 5k. Let it be known that in no way am I a runner. Yes, I do go to the gym 3 days a week, but I look far more like the second picture than the first. My goal is always to run the 3.2 miles in less than 30 minutes. Depending on your fitness level, this could seem like nothing or an impossibility. With my asthma and over indulgence in pizza, it is at the edge of my ability. What it does do is give me a goal to push towards. I have yet to achieve it, but always try.

Here is the great thing about having this goal, and even about not achieving it. Forever am I realizing there are ways in which I can improve. Eat better, train better and find ways to improve my breathing. Still, pushing yourself can have such amazing benefits. I encourage all of us to try this. It does not have to even be something physical. It can be pushing ourselves to write 1000 words a day towards our new book. It can be forcing ourselves to clean for 30 minutes a day. Maybe reading a couple of pages every night.

Whatever seems at the edge of our ability to do, we should try to do that. It is the only way to expand and improve our life. If we constantly stay in our comfort zone, our life will not only fail to expand, but we will also never feel the pride that comes with accomplishing something we never thought we could.

PAY ATTENTION THIS WEEK! 😮

We have been advocating staying present on this site so much lately it runs the risk of becoming too familiar. Before you are tempted to dismiss this as just another post about living in the moment, I encourage you to read on. In sales, they tell you to speak about the benefits of a product before the features or the price. In other words, you paint a picture of how life will be better for your prospect before you tell them what they are getting. That is what we are doing with today’s post.

Have you ever had a day where despite challenges, you still seem to be feeling amazing and able to make it through the day with a smile? I am sure most of us have had a day like that. We have also had the opposite. Where even if things seem to be turning out well, we still don’t feel the amount of joy we should. How many of us stop and ask ourselves why this happens? Figuring out the question to this will help make our lives infinitely more full of joy, but how many of us actually do this? When we feel sick to our stomach we will spend the rest of the day analyzing what we ate to the smallest ingredient. Should we not to the same to what brings us joy?

It can be impossible to note every single detail that is occurring in our lives on the days we feel amazing. Not to mention, that would probably take a good deal of joy out of it. Instead, I will ask you to pay attention to just one detail – who you are around. They say you are the total of the 5 people you spend the most time with. If your life is not filled with as much joy as it could be, this might be a good spot to investigate. That is not saying it excuses our own behavior, but surrounding yourself with good people who appreciate your worth will make all of the difference.

This week, take a moment to notice how the people around you have you feeling. Are there people who just put a smile on your face being around them? There are people in my life that can have me smiling just thinking about them. That is why my screensaver is my lovely lady. Just thinking about her can bring a smile on my face. How about you? Who are the people in your life who make your life amazing just by being in it?

5 SIMPLE RULES TO BE HAPPY 😃

We discussed a few posts ago how chasing happiness is a fool’s errand. The comparison was of chasing a butterfly. It will only fly away. If you create an environment where a butterfly would like to be you will attract one to you. Same with happiness. It isn’t about finding it somewhere outside of you. It is not in the new car, the new house or even the new relationship. How many people do we hear of who have all of these and are still not happy. Instead of chasing these things, we would be better off creating and cultivating an environment where happiness flourishes.

How do we create our own ‘happiness garden’ to stick with the metaphor? Above are 5 great ideas to start with. Freeing our hearts of hatred we are holding on to certainly helps. It is impossible to feel both hatred and happiness at the same time. Not to mention, hatred is extremely bad for our health. The same can be said for worry. There was a study showing that 98% of everything we worry about is beyond our control or completely unnecessary. Why not spend that moment focused on gratitude? Live simply is another great way to create happiness. The less we require to be happy, the more likely we are to be so. A pretty simple equation. Give more. Giving really can be a secret to happiness. Giving not only brightens the day of the person you are giving to, but yours as well. That is a win/win situation. Those kinds of situations certainly create happiness. Expecting less, much like living simply, increases our chances of being happy.

Stop chasing happiness and focus on creating an environment where happiness flourishes. Try these 5 items to start. If you have any other suggestions, please share them in the comments below. Any ‘gardening tips’ for happiness will be appreciated by all.

1 THING YOU NEED TO OVERCOME 🦁

We touched on this a little last post. The one thing we must battle to overcome is the desire to quit. It can be so strong. When we face one thing after another that seems to go wrong it can seem impossible to keep going. One thing you must know is that all of us have felt it. Eric Thomas says something that has really helped me and I would like to share it with you. I am paraphrasing, but he says you have already been hurt, why not get a reward for it. I could not agree more. At the very least, give purpose to your pain.

It is a sick twist of irony that the closest we are to accomplishment is after we have made it through the greatest amount of pain and struggle. Sadly, that is also when our urge to quit becomes the greatest. Know that if you quit, it becomes a habit. That is the bad news. Once you start quitting, your resolve begins to decline. The good news is that the opposite is true. Once you persevere, you will and determination become stronger in all fields. If you quit every time you feel the urge to do so, your life will not amount to much. If you get up just one more time and conquer that urge to quit, your life will become the life of your dreams. When you have suffered and it feels like you are staring into the abyss, just remember if you give up then, your pain was for nothing. As Eric Thomas told us earlier, “You are already in pain. Get a reward for it.”

If there is one thing in life you should not give up on, that is yourself and your dreams. Your pain has come to strengthen you, not to defeat you.

YOU HAVE 2 OPTIONS ✌️

When it comes to our goals, proper mindset is a great deal of the challenge. Having the proper outlook can mean the difference between success and failure. I think having this simple quote printed out will assist us in persevering to the accomplishment of our goals. Giving ourselves two options – we will either find a way or make one. Did you notice that does not include giving up, throwing in the towel or any option other than success.

One of the greatest challenges in life can be our relationships. When they are not going well, the life can seem to be sucked out of us. Conversely, they are also the source of our biggest reward. When we are in love, nothing can bring us down. That is why giving ourselves these two options in relationships can be so beneficial. Do not even consider not being able to craft a loving, healthy and growth oriented relationship. Instead, say to yourself “I am going to find a way to get through this relationship challenge, or I will make one.” When you do not give yourself any other option than success, than success becomes your only option.

We looked at the example of relationships because they are one of the more powerful forces in our life. Imagine how many different areas of your life you can apply this to? Your health and fitness. You can apply it to your career. Give yourself these two options when it comes to your finances. Speak power and encouragement into all areas of your life and see what a difference it will make. I would keep this quote on a card that you can keep with you and look at it throughout the day. When it comes to being the best version of yourself, you will either find a way or you will make one.