Tag: self-improvement

YOU CAN MAKE IT SO! 🤔

This is another one of those big secrets to an amazing life. Old Willy Shakespeare hit this one on the head. The happiest people in life, and often the most productive, have a great way of looking at their world. They see the opportunity in every challenge. The realists of the world will be quick to point out that this will not change the situation. I beg to differ. It may not change the past, and the circumstances leading up to the current situation. It will, however, change the present and the future. How you view circumstances will dictate the actions you take in the face of any situation. If you leave this up to chance, you are doing the same with your life.

It is all too easy to view certain events as good and view others as bad. That would mean sometimes you feel good, sometimes you feel bad. What happens when you can view everything through the lens of gratitude and hope? Your life becomes more enjoyable. You lose less time to melancholy. You are more likely to take advantage of the opportunities hidden in challenges.

One of the greatest examples I have heard of in recent times is Inky Johnson. He was an athlete ready to turn professional and bring his family out of generations of poverty. Right before this was going to happen, he suffered a career-ending injury. This is bad right? When asked if he could go back in time and undo that tackle that ended his hopes, he is quick to say he would not. Why would someone not want to undo an injury that not only cost him and his family millions of dollars, but altered his life completely? Simple, through that his father was able to come to spiritual enlightenment. He was able to serve as an example to members of his faith and inspire countless others. None of this would have happened if he had become a professional athlete. While the injury was certainly a very trying turn of events in his life, he views it as a blessing.

How about you? Are there situations in your life that you view as terrible? I am sure there are in all of our lives. The challenge is to find the good in those. This is not denying the challenge, but choosing to see the opportunity in it. It will not change the past or what occurred, but will change the feeling in the present and the trajectory of the future. How you think of and view the world makes all of the difference.

WHO CARES CAN BE A WINNING MANTRA! 🙃

As you begin to read this blog, look at the battery indicator on your cell phone. How much do you have left? In my case, as I write this I have 94%. That is pretty good since the plug doesn’t want to stay in the charger anymore. That is a story for a different day. The neat thing is, it lets you know how much energy your device has left. As it starts to get low, it even changes colors from green to yellow, and finally to red. Same with the gas tank in your car. The closer the needle moves to ‘E’ the less energy you have left. This knowledge comes in handy. We know when we have to charge our phones, or fill the tank in our car.

As the cell phone battery symbol gets lower and the needle gets closer to empty on our cars, we know time is running short. You would think this would mean that nobody would ever run out of a charge or out of gas. You and I both know that is not so. There are people who are constantly doing one or the other. Sometimes even both! Not sure if they are bad at estimating how much time they have left, or just not very observant. Either way, there are people who seem to be having these problems often. You know the type.

If you find yourself with an almost dead battery on your phone, are you going to call up your friend just to chat? Probably not. Are you going to watch silly cat videos? I would guess not until you are near a charger. Same with a low gas tank. Are you going to drive around the block or take the scenic route to your destination? No. You are going to think of ways to save on gas until you find yourself at the pump. What on earth does any of this have to do with self-improvement and how can you use this to improve your life? Let us look.

How many times have we heard someone say, “I am running out of gas.” or “My battery is dead.” They are not talking about their car or phone. No, they are talking about their own energy level. There are far more of them than the people who run out of gas in the middle of the freeway. We don’t have gages on our bodies that show how much energy we have left. We just need to pay attention to their warnings. Just like a cell phone will start to slow down as the battery gets weak, so does our performance start to slip as our energy falter. We need self-care as much as a phone needs a charger, or a car needs a gas pump.

This could be a nap, a quick meditation or a day of pampering. One of the best ways is to conserve your energy as it starts to slip. Worrying about your neighbors business, world politics or arguing about sports is as productive as taking a scenic route when your gas tank is almost empty. Learning not to bother with what doesn’t matter, especially when our energy is low, can save us from having a dead battery of our own. Practicing good self-care can make sure it is charged and we can be productive and of value to others.

KEEP YOUR FACE TO THE SUN 🌞

I do not believe Mr. Whitman is advocating staring at the fiery ball in the sky. Not only would that be extremely bad for your vision, it would not end with an amazing life. What we are talking about here is something that we could all use a reminder of. That is staying focused on the positive outcome of the situation that you are facing. That is to say, the goal accomplished. When you do this, the challenges and obstacles, or shadows in this example, do fall behind you. They are still there, but you are not letting them overwhelm you.

What happens when we turn our back from the sun, or the forget to focus on the positive outcome of our situation? We end up looking at the shadows. This is just like the people who are constantly focused on everything that could go wrong. When you turn away from the light and stare at the shadows, the world appears to be a very dark place. If, however, you turn around and focus on the light, it seems like a much more enjoyable world. For all of you ‘realists’ out there, let me point out that the world itself has not changed. There is still light and shadows. What difference does it make what we focus on then? How life feels to us is the difference. If you asked someone if they would want to go through life feeling overwhelmed, depressed and negative, or would you want to feel happy, hopeful and positive? I am sure most of you would answer the second option. The tricky part is that our minds are naturally designed to focus on the negative. How can we overcome that?

There is only one way to do that. Work on our perception about the world. Most people spend a good amount of time and energy trying to control outside circumstances. I equate this to not liking what you see in the mirror and trying to change the image without changing the person looking into it. When we focus on ourselves, what we see in the world, just like what we see in the mirror, will change.

There are a couple of very useful tools that can help you improve your outlook. One of them, and in my opinion the most powerful, is gratitude. Finding things to be grateful for can do so many amazing things for you. It certainly can help you see more of the sun and less of the shadows. It can always be worse, and there is always something to be grateful for. Another is visualizing the best outcome. Spending just five minutes a day visualizing how you would want a situation to turn out as not only helps you gain clarity on what you want, but it also helps fill your subconscious mind with the solution.

Start doing your best to keep looking at the sun and leaving the shadows behind you. Use the tools and strategies we discussed here. What do you do to help keep a sunny disposition in a world all too often filled with shadows? Put your answers in the comments and let us all help each other!

WE HAVE 2 JOBS ✌️

These are the two jobs we all have. Our lives should be dedicated to improving ourselves, and to contribute to the happiness of others, which you are doing just by getting the information here on this site. We give you the tools and strategies to accomplish both of these. Here is another amazing secret, by doing either of these, you are closer to accomplishing the other. Let us take a look at what we mean.

First is improving our lives. It is important to keep moving ahead. Why? The reason is that nothing stays stagnant. We are either moving ahead, or falling behind. This is true in any area of our life. Fitness for example. If we get in shape and think to ourselves, “I am in shape. Now I can stop exercising and just eat pizza and ice cream all day.” I am sure you can imagine what would happen. Another are which people constantly need reminding of is relationships. We somehow believe if we court someone, marry them and maybe even start a family, that we have this area of our life ‘handled’. Much like physical fitness, the fitness of your relationship will start to decline if you do not constantly work on that. The only way to improve your relationship, is to improve yourself. Learn to become more romantic. Learn to be a better listener. This holds true for every area of our life. Career, spirituality, and education. Obviously, the better of a person we become, the more we are able to serve others. We can see how that would help contribute to their happiness.

Speaking of contributing to other’s happiness, how does that help improve us? By finding ways in which we can add more happiness to the lives of others, we often have to learn, or at least practice, certain skills. This will only help us level up in our own lives. At the very least, we are able to practice our own interpersonal skills. That is how to relate to others. Especially in a world where far too much of our relationships are online, this is a skill that could use some polishing.

There you have it. Two jobs that compliment and help feed each other. If we focused exclusively on these two tasks, our world would improve exponentially. Do yourself a favor and ask if the action you are about to take would either help improve you, or add happiness to the life of another. If not, is it a good use of your energy?

GIVE YOURSELF TIME 🕒

One of the rarest character traits to have today is patience. Everyone is looking for things to happen yesterday. We want technology to be quicker and faster. We want our goals to be accomplished yesterday. Self-discipline and persistence are skills that you really have to look to find. It seems if a goal is going to take too much effort or too much time it is cast away and we pursue another avenue. I think you can see the obvious negative outcomes on our lives by adapting this manner of thinking.

One bit of collateral damage that occurs when we begin to think and operate in such a manner is that we apply the same logic to ourselves. It is perhaps a tired metaphor, but think of the butterfly and the stages it has to go through. Depending on what part of the butterfly’s life we walk in on, we will view it as a glorified worm, a hanging clump or a beautiful flying creature. I am not trying to speak ill of caterpillars. It is apparent, outside of Alice in Wonderland, there are not many people getting tattoos of caterpillars on their ankles.

It doesn’t help that people feel the need to only show us their butterfly stage. On social media the only time you see a ‘before’ picture is if there is an ‘after’ picture to go with it. It is natural to show yourself in the best light, but that is not always helpful to others who may feel they don’t measure up. Looking at pages and pages of people’s butterfly stage can make you feel like one ugly caterpillar.

In addition to taking time, people assume that life is a linear development. They forget we have peaks and valleys. In life you can be up one day and down the next. More to the point, you can be down one day and up the next. It is important to not view your entire life in just a section. Give yourself both time and opportunity. You might be in the caterpillar stage or you might just be in a valley. In working on developing our patience and discipline, it is important to start with ourselves.

IT IS NOT ABOUT THE SPEED 🏃‍♂️

In the nanosecond, results now world we live in, this can be a concept that is hard to warm to. Try to convince a younger person that the quickest way is not always the best way and you may receive some quizzical looks. Improving our diet and fitness is not a quick fix, but the effort is worth it. Just one example. If you want to accomplish anything, there will be challenges, delays and a host of other unexpected items to contend with along the way. We may want to throw away all of our junk food, start eating only healthy food and go to the gym everyday after work. What we really need to do is focus on small changes that will last and build on our success.

The fact is we cannot always do it all at once. We must be like water and use our persistence to cut through rock. It may take longer than we would like, but the results of not giving up are undeniable. Take a look at the Grand Canyon! Social change, like the kind Mr. King made, takes a great deal of time. We would like to change the minds and hearts of others overnight, but sometimes they need time. All we can do is persist.

Although you may not accomplish your goal as quick as you would like, if you take as much action as you can, accomplish it you will. It may seem like you are crawling at times, but remember, you are still moving forward. If you are tempted to think it doesn’t make a difference, maybe having a picture of the Grand Canyon around would help.

THE POWER OF SILENCE 🔕

There are so many ways in which technology, and the crazy world in which we live, have made it easier to be successful. One of the ways is to keep our mouth shut. What I mean by that is to understand the power of silence. In a world where everybody is doing almost anything for their fifteen minutes of fame, staying quiet and composed can put us above the crowd. One fact is that your words, whether spoken on a podcast, written in a blog or uttered in a YouTube video, will be used to judge and define you. I am not advocating never saying a word, just make sure they are good ones. Let other people fill social media with useless banter. Let us take the time to choose our words wisely. Pondering this brings to mind one of my favorite Abraham Lincoln quotes.

Honest Abe was pretty good with his words. His most famous speech, the Gettysburg Address, is a rather short but powerful one. He often told amusing humorous stories, but did not waste words. One thing he did when he felt the urge to expound on the negative thoughts he had about someone was to write a letter. Then, he would put those letters in a drawer in his desk. Many were only discovered after his death. There is a valuable lesson to be learned from the former president here. If we feel the need to vent or spew some literary venom, we might want to confine it to a diary or journal. Let us keep our words short and powerful like Mr. Lincoln’s famous speech. Let that work remind us that you do not have to say a lot to have a huge impact.

THE BEST REVENGE 👌

This should be a lesson we learn as we make our way into adulthood. Sadly, that is not the case. When we are in school, if someone calls us a name we would call them one. Often, we try to think of a more insulting name to use. At the end of the day, both of us are insulted and walk away feeling a little bit less about ourselves. It is a complete waste of both parties energies. Watching the world of politics, it is clear several adults have never grown out of this phase.

Rising above the petty actions of our enemies is seldom, if ever, a fulfilling action at the time. What is great is how you feel upon reflection of the event going forward. “Yes, I was the bigger person.” is an answer that will last longer than any name you are called. If we lower ourselves to the actions of our enemies, we become no better than they.

Old Blue Eyes has some amazing song lyrics, but none are as good as this quote. While people are busy coming up with a bigger insult, we should be busy on improving ourselves and our lives. While they are spending their energy on actions to belittle or attack us, we can be working on bettering our lot in life. Then, at the end of the day they will be no further ahead, well we will be more successful. In fact, they will be further behind. Why? They have squandered the most valuable resource that we have – time. They have spent theirs concerned with our life instead of improving their own. Even if they succeed at temporarily derailing our life, how has it helped theirs? It hasn’t.

Take the above advice from Mark and Frankie. Do not be like your enemy. Instead, focus on creating your own success.

IT IS OK TO STUMBLE 🔙

A few posts ago, we wrote about how important it was to get out of abusive relationships. The same can be said about a job situation that is slowly killing your soul or any other harmful situation. Although these are logical steps to living and amazing life, they are far from easy ones. Relationships can be very difficult to get out of. Shared economics, promises of people changing, family and religious expectations can make things difficult. That job may give us a false sense of economic security.

As the picture above tells us, just to attempt such things takes a great deal of bravery. If we let our boss talk us into staying a little longer while we keep our eyes open for another opportunity, that is understandable. Do we give that person we know won’t change another chance? That’s up to us, but we must consider our own well-being. These things may take several attempts to accomplish before we can finally follow through. Do not beat yourself up if you fail on your first attempt. The fact that you are endeavoring to better your life takes a lot of guts.

Whether it is giving up unhealthy eating, smoking or an abusive partner, it may take time and several attempts, but each one is an act of courage and a chance to learn something new about ourselves and our situation. Even if you stumble, do not beat yourself up, and certainly do not give up! You are brave for even trying.

A NEW ADJECTIVE FOR US ALL 🫂

Here is a word that I would like to put in all of our vocabularies. The ability to embrace things about us that are not perfect, especially in today’s world, can be quite difficult. To do so and still be able to understand that we are still beautiful, wonderful and amazing people can be next to impossible. One thing that may make that easier is having a word to describe just that. “Flawsome” is something we should all be. We all have flaws, yet we are all rock stars at something too.

Flaws are not always the curse we see them as. When viewed by others, flaws can make us relatable. Often, having flaws gives us credibility. How much would you trust someone who tells you they are perfect at everything? I know I wouldn’t. When you own your flaws, and understand they do not make you less of a person, you make it more difficult for others to use them against you.

If there are two things I know about the people I love in my life, it is the fact they have flaws, and they are still totally awesome! Those two facts hold true about you as well. Do not let things about you that need improvement convince you that you are anything less than the beautiful soul you are. You, me, and the rest of the world are all “Flawsome”.