As soon as I heard this quote, it became one of my new favorites! You think of all these people on squat racks lifting insane amount of weight. You think of men with huge arms doing bicep curls. Still, the heaviest and hardest weight at the gym is the front door. Not literally. Most are made of lightweight material. I believe the doors at my gym are mostly glass. It is the heaviest because actually opening the door and beginning your workout is one of the most difficult things to overcome. It reflects the law of motion. An object at rest tends to stay at rest. To overcome that urge to stay on the couch takes a great amount of effort.
This is something to keep in mind when you are either starting to workout, or like me, working to stay consistent. There is not all bad news. The other part of the law of motion states An object in motion tends to stay in motion. Meaning, once you get into a disciplined routine of fitness and healthy eating, it becomes easier to maintain. It is in overcoming that initial resistance that most of the work will be required. As you get in shape, staying there is easier than getting there. Climbing the mountain is a lot more difficult than staying at the top.
Keep this in mind as you begin your fitness journey. Once you tackle the weight of the front door, the weights inside the gym will become a lot easier.
Today is Monday and there is a brand new week ahead of us! It is not only full of opportunities, but it is full of decisions as well. One of the greatest decisions we make daily, if not hourly, is the decision on what to focus on. Are we focused on our immediate pleasures? What feels good in the moment. Those doughnuts in the breakroom sure look tasty and they are there for the taking. Almost an insult to whoever brought them in if we don’t eat them.
Another path is to be focused on where we want to go and who we want to become. Then the thought of eating one of those delicious doughnuts becomes an insult to both our bodies and our goals and aspirations. It is not often as easy, or black and white, as the doughnut example. Sometimes it is whether or not to participate in that office gossip. Whether we continue to work when nobody is watching or do we scroll online for a little while. Even what we choose to focus our thoughts on. Do we dwell on what is going wrong in our lives, or are we grateful for what we have?
This battle between what we want now and what we want most is a battle that never ends. This may sound tiring and defeating, but it also means we have endless opportunities to win. Every decision we make that overcomes our desire for immediate pleasure for the good of who we wish to become or accomplish in the long term should be viewed as a victory. Which are you choosing at the moment?
Here is how to succeed no matter what the situation. Have you ever heard something like this? “My dad was an alcoholic, that is why I became one.” At the same time, have you also heard this? “My dad was an alcoholic. That is why I will never touch the stuff!” That is the negative side of things. It works the same on the flip side. There are people who succeed because they grew up in a wealthy family and learned all the important financial lessons. There are those who grew up in a wealthy family and ended up in rehab or worse because they never learned responsibility.
When you find yourself in a positive situation it can be pretty easy to learn from. Take our friend who grew up in a financially well-to-do family. He could learn how his parents managed money. He could learn investment strategies. He could learn the value of hard work. He could see the example of the power of money to provide personal freedom as well as to help others. There would be many fine examples to learn from.
What about our friend with the alcoholic father? He could learn a lot of valuable lessons as well. He could see the negative results of alcohol on both the health and relationships of his father. He could see the financial strain it can put families under. He can see the undesirable people and situations that addictions can put us in contact with. There are many lessons in struggles. He could use these as motivation to not turn out as his father did.
We are not pretending life is so black and white. Any life is seldom just a warning or an example. We can use any situation for good or for bad. The choice is ours. If we choose, and are committed to using everything to serve us, than it doesn’t matter whether that situation or person is positive or negative. We can use it to learn and to grow and move ourselves forward. That is the secret to an amazing life.
The Law of Attraction, or LOA, has become one of those trending and hot button topics. There are books, YouTube videos and even entire channels dedicated to the subject. Since the movie The Secret came out, it has been a popular topic. It is also a very controversial and polarizing topic. Some people treat it like a religion, some people say it is just a bunch of new-age nonsense. Which is it? In my experience there is nothing magical about the law of attraction. It is a science based activity that focuses on using different parts of the brain to serve us. It is far from nonsense, but it also not a magical spell that will cure all of your ills in life. Let us look at exactly what the law of attraction is and how we can put it into use in our life.
I am currently in the market for a new car so this is an example that works really well for me. Have you noticed this? It really comes into play after you buy a new car, or outfit, or any other meaningful purchase. The greater amount of emotion attached to that purchase, the greater this seems to work. You bought a certain make or model of car and now you see that car everywhere. Did everyone else go out and buy the same car to be like you? Simple logic tells us this is not so. Then why does there seem to be more of them on the road? We will get to that answer, and why the word ‘seem’ was in italics, in just a second.
One more quick experiment you can do to show you how this works. It will only take roughly 60 seconds and can radically transform how you see, and can use, the law of attraction. You can do this right now, right where you are reading this. Get still and focused. Maybe take a deep breath or three. Now, pick a color. It doesn’t really matter which one. One of my favorites is blue, so we will use that for our example, but you can use whatever color you desire. You are going to do what I am going to suggest next before reading the following paragraph. If you really want to get the full effect and understanding you will try it out. After you do what I am about to tell you come back at read the following paragraph. Here is what you are going to do. Look around you and see every object that you can find that is blue. It can be any shade of blue. Note what the object is. Do this for roughly 30 seconds. Go ahead and do that now. Look for blue objects.
Now that you are focused back on what we are learning, let me ask you a question. Without looking up, how many red objects can you name that you saw? You are probably saying, “I wasn’t looking for red. I don’t know.” Now look up and notice the red objects. Were they just put there? Of course not. No more than everyone bought the same car as you. What happened was the part of your brain that filters what is and is not important to you determined what you saw. In the case of the car, it brought to your attention a certain item. That is the make or model of car that matches your own. In the case of the blue objects, it blocked out any objects that were not of importance. This could be brown, red or any other color object. This part of the brain is called the reticular activating system. It is the bridge between your senses and awareness. We used visual examples because they are the most poignant. It works the same for any of the other senses as well.
Just like cars and blue objects, the law of attraction works for business opportunities, meeting the ideal lover, or a million other things. If we were to create a list of traits we would enjoy in people and reviewed that list with emotion every day, we would begin to see people with these traits showing up in our life. Perhaps we might start to notice some of our friends and family developing these traits. They really didn’t develop themwe just placed an importance on noticing them and our brain followed suit. The tricky bit is that this filter in our brain works the same for positive and negative alike. If we are constantly telling others that we have no luck, or that life is out to get us, our brain will be like, “Wait! Let me show you an example of that!” Before you know it, it will seem that our life is full of negative situations. Of course our filter will be more likely to point them out and draw them to us.
Although the brain can bring things to our awareness through the filter of the reticular activating system, it is us to then take action on those things. If we are focused on noticing business opportunities but don’t act on them when we see them two things will happen. First, the results will not be forth-coming. We need inspired action once we tend to notice the new things. Second, if we continue not to act, the brain will decide this must not be that important after all and stop bringing these to our attention. The law of attraction is real. It is a scientific and conscious use of the mind. It also requires action on our end.
Depending on its use, one phrase that can drive me crazy is, “It is what it is.” This is true in some regards which we will get to later. When used as an excuse not to take any action to change how it is, that drives me crazy. The only thing worse is people who constantly complain about their circumstances and expressing their desire that they were different. This takes away valuable time from making the most of them.
On a personal level, I was born with a few health challenges. I have asthma. This prevents me from doing some of the physical activities as good as I would like. I have a deformed heart that I was born with. This not only forces me to take a few more precautions that the average person, I also have to be routinely tested. Neither of these did I contribute to. They came with birth. Many people tell me how sad and unfair that is. In this case, I do say “It is what it is.” Nothing will change the fact that I cannot breathe that well or that I get nervous every time I have a pain in my chest.
That was the fate I was born into. I can choose to despise it, or I can love it. Why on earth would I love the fact that I was born with these issues? One, it helps me relate to others who have these, and other, medical conditions. It also motivates me to take as good of care of my physical health as I can. On the days when going to the gym does not sound like the best idea, I think about the fact I could die. When I don’t want to do cardio, I know the more I work my lungs, the better they will function. Not to mention, I have no urge at all to start smoking. If I didn’t have asthma, sometime along my 23 year journey of bartending or my time singing in a band, I would have picked the habit up.
When it comes to the life we are dealt, there is no use in crying how unfair it is. That may very well be true, but now what? If life knocks you down, that can often not be your fault. Finding a way to get back up is entirely your responsibility. Fate can be kind, it can be cruel. When we can’t control that, we can control our reaction to it.
While attending a convention on ‘Oddities’, which just happens to be something I am into, I came across a saying – memento mori. I saw it on a bunch of different items and had to look it up. It is a Latin saying that translates to “Remember you must die.” Again, for many of a us death is a subject that is avoided and viewed as taboo. This is crazy to me. There are very few things which every person on this planet has in common. The need to breathe air, the need to eat and drink and, of course, the fact we will die.
To be sure, death is not a fun or enjoyable subject. It rarely, if ever, comes at a good time. All too often it comes unannounced and unexpected. What death does do that is important is that it gives such value to life. Today finds us with our 800th day in a row of having a blog. In my busy and crazy world, I can often lack the motivation to write. I think back to the now famous story of when I was waiting to have open-heart surgery. Knowing it was a dangerous and perhaps fatal surgery, it gave me a sense of urgency. That fact that I did expire briefly, also reminded me how quickly life can be taken away.
We can be reminded of this after a close call on the freeway, maybe at the funeral of someone we really care about or a few other situations. What happens is that after a while, no matter how present we try to be, we take our life for granted. “Oh not me!” I hear many of you saying. Trust me, we all do. Even myself who not only got to think about a life and death surgery for 2 months, died briefly and had to give 5 eulogies in one year, can still take life a little bit for granted. If we fully appreciated how fleeting and how precious life is, we would be walking around looking at every moment as the miracle that it is.
Does this sound like a bunch of hype? It is not. How can waiting in traffic, or the line in the store be a miracle? If you knew you were going to die in a year, a week, or maybe even tomorrow, how would that transform your wait in line? What if you knew that it might be the last time you ever waited in line? Things can change so quickly these days it will make your head spin. We will look more at that next post. Thinking that you may not be around to ‘enjoy’ many more traffic jams may sound crazy, or even morbid, but it is true and I think adds great value to our life.
An occasional reminder that your time on earth is not infinite, can go a long way to making the most of the time we spend here. If you want to know more about how to become immortal, I suggest picking up a copy of my second book, Living the Dream, and reading the section titled “Become Immortal”. As for what we can do starting today to fully appreciate the miracle of life, perhaps putting this saying in a place that will remind us daily that our end is growing sooner by the second, may go a long way. Memento Mori -Remember you must die.
In a world where everyone is trying to be the next big _____. Something gets lost in the quest. That is the most important person we can be. Who is that? Is it the next Kim Kardashian? The next Mother Teresa? How about the next Nelson Mandela? While all of these people have traits that could be good to replicate, they are not the person you should strive to be. No, the person you should try to be is….YOU! The more authentically you can remain true to yourself, the more you give others permission to do the same.
One of the first things that is said when I mention this is that you have faults. Here is a news flash – everyone does. If you ask any of the people above, they all have things about themselves that they would like to improve. Here is another thing that is important to note. Your faults, and the way that you handle them, can be some of the most inspiring things about you. Everyone can relate to having things about themselves they would like to improve. If you come across as being perfect, nobody will be able to relate to you. If they cannot relate, you will not be able to inspire them!
Today, just focus on being the best version of yourself that you can be. After all, if you are not you, who will be?
In the United States, we celebrate Labor Day today. It is a celebration of all the sacrifices made and rights won by workers. Certainly worth taking a moment to reflect and appreciate all of the ways in which working conditions have improved. No more working in mines 14 hours a day in hazardous conditions.
Here is something you should celebrate as well. The labor you put towards bettering yourself. It can take a lot of hard work to improve both ourselves and in turn, our lot in life. That labor is worth its weight in gold. When you work to improve yourself, that is something that cannot be taken away. When you improve your life circumstances, it benefits you and everyone you car about in life. Labor well spent.
Today, as we take a moment to reflect on how much the conditions of ‘working for the man’ have improved, let us not forget about the work we put in for ourselves. This labor should be celebrated as well. It often does not come with an immediate monetary reward, but in the long-run, the payout is much greater.
Many people shy away from the fires of life. That is to be understood. Nobody really enjoys discomfort. What you must consider is what discomfort and challenges do in our life. They provide us opportunities that comfort and ease simply cannot. You grow exponentially more during difficult times than you do when life is easy. You also display to others your true character.
Everyone can be patient, helpful and happy when the sun is shinning and all of the bills are paid. Can you still have that kindness and compassion when life is not going so well? Can you still treat others as you would want them to treat you when life is beating you down? If you can, it speaks volumes about you and your character. This is something that you could never display unless you face challenges and adversity. Next time life seems to descend into chaos, ask yourself one very important question, “How am I going to walk through this fire?” If you are really brave, you can ask a follow up question, “What will that say about me?”
Be grateful for the challenges. They help us to grow and to demonstrate to the world the strength of our character. You can dislike the challenge and still be grateful for the opportunity.
Who hasn’t had the occasional stray thought? If we are to believe what science tells us, that would be nobody. It is said that we have roughly 60,000 thoughts a day and that roughly 80% of them are negative. Both of those numbers really depend on the person. I know several people who manage to maintain a positive disposition in the face of the most challenging odds. I also know people who somehow manage to keep the number of thoughts they have well below the 60,000 mark. Some I wonder if they ever get to the double digits. Most of us fall into the numbers that science puts out.
It may be next to impossible to fight off the arrival of negative thoughts. Doing so can often make them push harder to arrive. What are we to do? Adjust how we view negative thoughts. We can ask ourselves what these thoughts may be trying to teach us. We can ask ourselves why we are reacting so negatively to them. There are a million lessons we can learn from our negative thoughts. It can also be helpful to turn it into a game of sorts. Noticing and adjusting to negative thoughts can be a challenge, but it does not have to be a negative one. Start timing how long it takes you to overcome a negative thought. Start keeping track of the time between negative thoughts and see if you can’t go just a little bit longer next time. When you do, celebrate!
Negative thoughts are a part of life and they can serve a good purpose. Let us put them to use for us. Have fun with the journey. Be calm in the knowledge that your life is improving with each positive thought you have. Let us know any tools and strategies you have for dealing with negative thoughts.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 