I once heard someone ask the question, “Do you think Michael Jordan would have let comments on Twitter?” The point being that people like Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant in the sports world, and investors like Warren Buffett and Bill Gates in the business world, are too busy working on their own lives to concern themselves much with the opinions of others. If you have time to be upset for hours, maybe even days or longer, with what someone else is doing, or maybe even said, your life could use some more attention.
When I am in the middle of constructing my next book, which I am about 2 weeks overdue starting, I seldom have time for much else. When I am working on putting together a seminar, or what I am going to say on a television appearance, like I will be shortly, it does not bother me what Bob or Betty are doing with their lives. Why should it bother me anyway? My life has so much opportunity for growth and improvement, every second I do not spend doing that, is one more mine of gold I am not tapping. I am not so much worrying about Bob and Betty as I am not worrying about Neil. That is far more costly.
This week as we go forth into our working world, let us keep the focus where it should remain, on our world and improving our lives. It is only then that we will discover the secrets to an amazing life.
Boy what a week I have had! One of those weeks where you get to practice your character building skills. It is easy to be a positive motivating person when all is going well. It is when trouble shows up that positivity is put to the test. This week, there was both a large amount of snow followed by temperatures well below zero. For those of you who know me, these two elements alone would be enough to test my optimism resolve. Oh, but there was so much more.
On Saturday morning at 4am, when I am heading out to work the exhaust of my car was detached by driving over some snow. My mechanic is not open until Monday and so for the weekend I drove a vehicle that was loud enough to summon creatures from the underworld. Embarrassing, quite. What was worse was not being able to take it in. Alas, I did on Monday to discover it would be $653 to repair. Less than 24 hours later, my power steering decided to take a vacation somewhere warmer. Back to the mechanic and $250 later that was fixed. I was happy to have my car back. I drove to work without a concern. On the way home, however, there was another great warning light greeting me.
This, my friends, is the oil pressure light. It is not good news. Calling the mechanic as I drove, his response was, “That’s not good.” This was one bit of car knowledge I did already know. Today is Friday and the poor gent was on his way to a funeral. That means I will not be able to take my car in until Monday. This weekend, I had hope to run a few errands and just be able to transport myself from one place to another. I also work tomorrow and DJ on Sunday. These things are impossible to do without a vehicle.
As trying as this story may be, it is not the purpose of this post. In the middle of all of this chaos, I have still been able to go to work. My dear mother, bless her heart, picks me up at 4am and drops me off 30 minutes away. Keep in mind the temperature has been around zero degrees. Then she picks me up. We even had a 3 mile walk in the woods and a fun trip to the grocery store. Although the walk was a brisk one, as you can see in the photo below, it sure was some great exercise. This I am missing, as I have not been able to make it to the gym.
We go from colder than frozen, to really hot. You guessed it, I am talking about my lovely lady, Margie. This poor lady has had to put up with someone with Seasonal Affective Disorder, in the dead of winter, whose car keeps breaking down. She has done it all while making amazing warm meals to warm up my stomach and smiles and love to warm up my soul. Although we had plans to go out and enjoy each other’s company, we have had plenty of fun staying in. We watch a show on the Bahamas, which we plan on visiting next month. We also have read together and enjoyed each other.
In my life, there are people who have the ability to assist me a great deal who choose not to. Then, there are these two wonderful ladies who are super busy themselves, but give from their hearts. We often spend so much time trying to find ways to get even with those who have wronged us, or even those who have not helped us. This takes a lot of negative energy and leaves both parties drained. Can you imagine what life would be like if we only focused on getting even with those who have made our life better? We would be spreading love and appreciation to so many! I am so grateful to have so many souls that treat me so well. As I wait to decide how to proceed with my car, I will busy myself with getting even with these two wonderful ladies.
I am so excited to bring you today’s strategy for an amazing life. It will be featured in my upcoming book, but you will get a preview here today! This secret to an amazing life only takes a mere 5 minutes a day. Does that sound to good to be true? Trust me, it is not. You may be tempted to dismiss this as too easy, you should not. In fact, do this for a month. Prove to yourself that it works. When you do, I would love to hear your experience with it back here on this site.
Here is the first step. Find a five-minute period in your day that you can regularly count on. This could be right after you get out of work. If you are ambitious, it could be first thing in the morning. This can be risky as you never know what things may crop up. It is also when people are usually rushing. A great time would also be five-minutes before you go to bed at night. Pick what works for you, but make sure it is a time you can regularly count on.
Next, set a timer on your phone for 5 minutes. If you do not have a phone with a timer, anything will do. Look at the clock, whatever works for you. Here is all you have to do – for this amount of time, think of what you have to be grateful for. Another post about the power of gratitude? I hear that everywhere! Do you know why you hear that everywhere? Because it works. Gratitude is a superpower. In a world that does its best to make you feel fear, anger and depression, being able to focus on what you are grateful for, takes discipline. It also takes your life to a whole other level.
Let us look at the science behind this and why it will actually make such a profound difference in our life. We have around 60,000 thoughts a day. According to the National Science Foundation, 80% of those thoughts are negative. That is alarming in its own right, but add this fact to it and it becomes down right scary. According to Dr. Fred Luskin of Stanford University, 90% of our thoughts are repetitive! That means we are thinking of the same negative junk over and over every day. It also means that a mere 10% of our thoughts are new and focused. That is why it is imperative that we take complete control of those thoughts. Say for like 5 minutes a day. If we do that, and focus on gratitude, that will become part of our 80% that are repeated. Can you imagine if we could eventually flip the script and have 80% of our thoughts positive? Even getting that negative percentage down to 49% means that our lives will be more positive than negative. It only takes 5 minutes, but will have a compounding effect. Doing it at that same time every day will make it more of a habit and likely to succeed.
Don’t take my word, or the word of science, try this out for yourself. Do it for 30 days. Remember that our thinking is the result of years of behavior and that changing it will take a little time. If we can accomplish this in only 5 minutes a day, how powerful could that be? You have 1440 minutes in your day, 5 of those is only .004% of your day. Yet, by doing this, you can radically shift your mindset! I would love to come back to this in 30 days and hear your results.
This may be an analogy that has been repeated all too often in self-improvement circles, but it has value in repeating. As you are given a safety talk in an airplane, they tell you to secure your oxygen mask before helping other around you. Why? You are really unable to help anyone if you are unable to breathe yourself. How many of us forget to apply this common sense knowledge to the rest of our life? It is easy to put our own mental, and often physical, health at risk for the benefits of others. Done long enough and we could have a breakdown, either a mental or physical.
Here is something else to consider. A slightly different lesson to be had in all of this. Do you know what happens when everyone puts their own masks on? You have a bunch of people breathing. That is always good. What happens if you have a plane full of people who are more concerned how Bob puts on his mask, or how Betty’s hair looks when she places the mask over her face? Suddenly, they find themselves struggling with their own breathing.
In a quick recap, here are the two lessons to be had in our airplane service talk. First lesson. If you do not take care of your own mental and physical health, you will be ill-equipped to assist anyone in theirs. Dare I say, the better your mental and physical health, the better you will be able to help others. This being said, an investment in yourself is also an investment in the well-being of those you care about. Second lesson. Focusing on others lives instead of your own, only causes pain and suffering for yourself in the long run. Make sure your life is in order before spending too much time worrying about what Bob or Betty are doing in their lives. Sense our life is one never ending journey to improve ourselves…you guessed it…don’t worry about what others are doing. Just focus on being the best version of yourself and you will have an amazing life.
There is so much going on in this picture that gives clues to living an amazing life. At first glance, it may not seem so. Let us take a dive in to discover the secrets that are in this picture. Starting with the obvious – the saying in the picture. “Use Sunday to reconnect with a place from your past.” What a great idea! My mother and I often discuss things that we did that seem like a different lifetime ago. We used to go to a great encampment they held at the local VA grounds. That no longer occurs. We talk about restaurants we used to frequent that have went out of business. Then, after a few more sips of coffee, we talk about places we just haven’t visited in a long time for various reasons.
Reconnecting with some of these places could bring back some really interesting memories. It also helps you stay grounded. Connecting your present with your past can help us be both nostalgic as well as present. Reflecting on memories of the past and noting how life has changed can be insightful. Looking around to see how the place has changed can have us living in the present. When we reflect on memories there is one thing I find interesting. At the time they were being created, we usually never know they will become memories. We are just enjoying the moment. This is a reason why it is helpful to take pictures, especially now that they can be stored digitally. I find it also helps to use as many of our senses as we can. Soak up every moment of our lives. We never know which ones will become our favorite memories.
The other item is what the saying is printed on. It is a day-by-day motivational calendar. I purchased it while visiting the mall to see my friend Nick, who manages the coffee shop there. Every day it supplies an inspirational thought for me. That is one source of positive inspiration added to my life and all I have to do is tear off that day. Considering how many negative influences come into our lives, without any effort on our part, it benefits us greatly to add as many positive ones that do the same. There are apps that send motivational messages to your phone. There are affirmations you can listen to on YouTube. There are so many influences that we can add. This leads us to the final thing we will mention in this picture.
The last thing you might not have noticed in the first picture, is the hand that is holding the calendar. That hand belongs to my lovely lady, Margie. Recently, I saw a meme about how picking the right woman makes a big difference. I would like to change ‘woman’ to ‘partner’ as this holds true across gender. Margie was kind enough to take this picture because mine had a big shadow in it. Much like adding as many positive influences in your life, the same can be said for positive people. I enjoy hanging out with my mother and going for coffee. Speaking of which, my friend Nick and I are long overdue for getting together. Even at my day job, where people can be ‘sunshine challenged’ I seek out those who do have a brighter outlook. I feel we support each other. How about your life? Adding, and spending time with, as many positive people as you can will fill your life with more joy than you can do on your own. As a bonus, the more time you spend around positive people, the less time you have for those ’emotional vampires’ that suck the life out of your soul.
In this one picture, there are 3 ideas I put into action that helps me to live an amazing life. It was a powerful reminder. How about you? Share a picture of things that bring joy into your life and help you live an amazing life. When we share, we all benefit!
End of the first week of the New Year! What a wild ride it has been. As we jump into our goals for the coming year, we are going to take a few moments to look back at how we did in 2023. Above is a map featuring all of the countries that we were viewed in within the past year. We appeared on 6 of the 7 continents and in 148 countries. That blows my mind. I still recall writing my first blog 12 years ago and wondering if anyone at all would read it. I was one person who was struggling to learn the lessons of living a rewarding and fulfilling life. Using my passion for helping others, I continued to write. We are now have over 2100 posts on this site and have been viewed by almost 200,000 people!
Being able to reach so many people in so many places is such a rewarding experience. There are so many negative news outlets, that we want to continue to serve as a beacon of hope, motivation and inspiration. 2023 was great, but we are looking to do even better in 2024. We are going to reach even more people and bring the light of hope and positivity to even more corners of the world. If you like what you read here, feel free to share this site with your friends and neighbors. Print out posts you like and hang them up in the office. Share links on your social media timeline. The more souls we can reach, the brighter we can make the world.
Secret2anamazinglife wishes to thank all of our contributors, followers and even our passing viewers. You make all of this possible and worth it. We look forward to finding new and exciting ways to serve you in the future. Do not forget to check out the Living the Dream with Neil Panosian podcast wherever you stream your content. It is free and brings you the same great tools and strategies in audio form!
Today we are celebrating! It is the first time in this site’s 11 year history that we have had a post every day for an entire year. It was a goal of mine to bring more inspiration and motivation to all who read this. As many of us look to create our own resolutions for the New Year, we should take a look at why and how we were successful in having a post daily for a year.
First, start where you are with what you have. Although we have been talking about having a post every day for a year, this is actually the 546 straight day we have had a post. When I decided that was my goal for the coming year, it was sometime in mid summer of last year. Why should I wait for the first of the year to start? Part of the reason I was successful was I had a strong enough ‘why’. In having a post daily, I knew the audience for this site would grow. We are now over 100,000 views in over 200 countries. I also knew I would reach and engage with more people the more content I would put out. The more people reached, the more people could get an assist in living an amazing life. The more people living amazing lives, the better our planet would be.
Were there days I struggled with posting? You bet. Being an author, speaker, DJ and full-time day job as well, time is crazy. Another one of my goals was to improve the quality and depth of my relationship with my lovely lady. That takes time and dedication. All of these things could have been legitimate reasons not to have a blog. Then, I needed to use negative motivation for my goals. What is negative motivation? I needed to consider what would happen if we did not have a post here. There may be someone who was in a dark emotional place that was looking forward to reading what we have to say here. What would happen if they came to discover there was nothing to read? Hearing all of the negativity that the world seems to bring to our attention daily, I knew that this site needed to be a balance to that. If people were not given another source for knowledge and inspiration, I was not doing my part to leave the world a better place than I found it. This is, after all, my life’s mission, or at least part of it.
In closing, this accomplishment leaves me feeling just one way…grateful. I consider it a blessing to be able to share with you everything I learn along my journey of life. I am thankful for all of the souls who join me on this journey. There is nothing but gratitude for the friends I have made and the input they have given. I look forward to hearing from more of you in the year to come. 2024 will bring you my fourth book, as well as many other surprises including new episodes of the Living the Dream with Neil Panosian podcast. In addition, we will continue to have great and valuable content here to share with you. We always welcome your feedback and look forward to living an amazing life with you in 2024.
John Wooden is one of my favorite persons that I have studied. His attention to detail and the importance he placed on character are some of the greatest lessons we can all learn. I am going to share two of them with you here, and then we are going to end by taking a hard look at the quote above.
One lesson I recall was his pregame approach. He told all of his players to check for wrinkles in their socks. His players, much like you might be doing right now, looked at him quizzically. What does worrying about a wrinkle in your sock have to do with winning basketball games? That seemingly minor inconvenience, left unattended to, would lead to irritation, and eventually a blister. This would leave the player unable to perform at their best.
In our own life, how many minor irritations do we let go until they are preventing us from performing at our best? Every morning, as I put on my socks and shoes, I am reminded of this simple lesson. To make sure even the smallest, seemingly unimportant, details are attended to. Paying attention to the small details before they become larger problems will allow our life to proceed in a far easier fashion. Can you imagine if you never changed the oil in your car until the engine started acting up? By then there would be far greater, and more expensive, problems to deal with. Think of this tomorrow as you put on your socks and shoes. As a bonus, this has saved me much pain when I have set out on hikes with my mother.
His other advice he gave his players was not to pay attention to the score board. This may not seem like something you would hear a coach say, but he had good reason. If the players saw that they were up by a lot of points, they may relax a little and get sloppy. If they saw they were down by a lot of points, they may give up and quit playing hard. Even if they saw the game was close, they may get nervous and make mistakes. Instead, coach Wooden told them to focus on playing the best they could each and every play. If they did that, when they looked up at the score at the end of the game, they would like what they saw. How about you? How much of your effort in life is influenced by the circumstance you find yourself in? If we all just focused on being the best version of ourselves that we could be each and every day, I think when we look at the scoreboard of our life, we would like what we see.
Lastly, we will talk about the quote we started this post with. “Things work out best for those who make the best of how things work out.” This really is one of the great keys to life. There will be ups and downs. It is not our circumstances that decide if we will be successful, but our mindset. Therefore, you stand a better chance at success if you work on improving your mindset over your circumstances.
This post is a little deep for a Saturday. We will do our best to keep it brief as well. In so much as we can. This occurred to me as I was on my way to the gym today. I was listening to a motivational video to pump me up a little, as this was following a 9 hour work day. In the video the speaker advocated recalling the worst emotional pain you have ever felt. In my life, there have been many, so I decided to pick a recent one. This is where it gets interesting.
The moment I was reflecting on this time was a twofold situation I found myself in almost 2 years ago. It was the day of my open-heart surgery. This happened to be taking place during the second wave of the Covid scare. I was to have no visitors while I was in the hospital. This was only explained to me the day before surgery. When I relayed this information to both my mother who was to drive me that day, as well as my lovely lady, Margie, it did not go over as well as I am sure the hospital had hoped. They immediately launched into a plan to sneak into the hospital with me. Although I advised against this course of action, they were not to be dissuaded.
They thought they were being as crafty as two spies, it probably resembled 2 comedy actresses. To their credit, we all made to the operating floor. I recall a long line of plastic chairs we all sat it. If memory serves, they were orange. At that moment, I knew we were to be discovered any second and they would be escorted out. There was so much I wanted to say to both of them before what was a possibly life or death surgery. Instead, we all sat in silence. Before long a nurse informed them they had to go. I watched the elevator doors close, knowing It would be more than a week before I would see either one of them again.
Surprising enough, although sad, it was not this moment that was the worse. I took my seat back on the orange plastic waiting chairs. Soon enough they called me back to a preparatory room. I was instructed to strip down and wash myself with some adult-sized baby wipes. Not my finest moment. As I finished and dressed myself in the fashionable hospital gown, I knew surgery would be quick in coming. I picked up my phone and snapped a selfie of the charming author so dapperly attired. I sent it to the love of my life. Just then a thought crossed my mind. “Could this be the last message I ever sent her?” As I placed the phone in the bag with the rest of my belongings, I felt a pang of loneliness that was stronger than any I can remember. I knew when I woke up after surgery, that is if I woke up, there would be nobody there. I knew I would not see the faces of those I loved for many days. It was as if I had been transported to a different world without the chance to say goodbye. Soon, there would be humiliating moments such as two twenty-something young ladies shaving my body from head to toe. The whole story can be found in my book, The Beat Goes On. I will leave a link at the end of this post if you care to purchase that, or any of my other books.
Left once again in a world devoid of contact with anyone I loved, I was just left to wait for them to open my chest and slice and dice the organ that gives us life. Now without my phone which presumably would be taken to my recovery room for after the surgery. The loneliness returned with a vengeance. This remained up until the sedatives kicked in for the surgery. Even after being brought back to life after a brief flirtation with death (Again, complete story in the book) the feelings remained.
Although this memory was painful to relive, I had questions. Why was that one of the worst feelings of my life? Was I afraid of dying? Not at all, actually. Death is a lot harder for those left behind than for the one doing the dying. Leading up to the surgery, as I was in what they delicately referred to as “The holding pen”, I had been focusing on all that I had to be grateful for. I specifically recall thinking of all the silly faces my lady makes in the pictures she sends me. I was filled with appreciation for the amazing life I had lived up to that point. Death, although a possibility, was not a fear. What was it then?
The answer hit me! It was loss of connection. Could that be the case? I began to ponder some of my best moments in life. I recall the book signing I held at a local, now defunct, brewery. So many people attended and I was able to greet and speak with them. I had a large dose of connection. I thought of some of the best moments that I have had with my mother, my lovely lady and others in my life. The best moments were when I felt the greatest connection! Up until this very thought, I never realized how important connection is to me. With this knowledge, I can certainly set my life up to have a lot more feelings of joy and a lot less stress!
Here is the other cool thing that came out of this inner conversation I had with the soon-to-be best-selling author – I had gained a new lesson from reliving an old experience. Proof that we can learn so much by looking at our past with a fresh perspective. It is no secret that we learn more, a lot more, during challenging times that we do during times of celebration. It may be tempting to avoid reliving those times where we hurt the greatest, but then we will be leaving gold in that mine. My surgery was just shy of 2 years ago. I learned that lesson a little over 4 hours ago. How about you? Are there moments in your past you can go back and look at with a fresh perspective? Maybe there is more gold for you to dig out of that mine. How many mines do you have?
Well, isn’t this a confusing title? I should certainly say so. Let us start with how you are, indeed, your past.Any of us who study the Law of Attraction know that a certain energy will attract to itself. This is one reason that it seems the rich get richer and the poor get poorer, as the saying goes. If you have only been exposed to poverty growing up, that is all you know. Your thoughts and actions leading up to this point have you in a state of poverty. Same holds true if you grew up rich. That is what you know. You take actions that will allow you and your money to remain lifelong friends. If you wake up and find that putting on that pair of jeans you bought last year seems like a bit more of a struggle, it is not because of the one doughnut you had for breakfast. No, it is years of eating poorly. You are, in fact, the result of the decisions you have made up to that point. In this way, you are your past. There is good news to be had, however.
You are also not your past. What? Let me explain. I hear a lot of people refer to themselves as something. It can be something positive, or something negative. “I am a procrastinator.” they say. “I am not a morning person.” is another great example. “No, that is what you have been.” What you are today can change in an instant. You can begin working towards creating a new you. Just as we discussed above how your present self is the result of the decisions you have made in the past, your future self will be the result of the decisions you make going forward.
Many people also choose to let past trauma define who they are. “I am a child of alcoholic parents.” or “I was in an abusive relationship.” Look, things may knock you down in life. Scratch that. Things will knock you down in life. That is not and will not be your fault. If, however, we come back years later and you are still on the ground, that is your fault. That is not to say that these things are not painful and do not leave emotional scars. They do and many of them may take years to recover from. We do not have to let them define us. It may take therapy. It will take confronting these issues and the fears and trauma they have created inside of us, but we do not have to be our past.
The same is true of others. In the past, people may have done us wrong. They may have not been people we would have liked to associate with. If that is not who they are today, and we are judging them, then we are convicting an innocent person. That is not to say you should be gullible and believe someone has changed just because they told you. We should not hold them prisoner for their past actions. Just as we can change, so can others. If you knew me a long time ago, you may think, “This guy is not someone I would want to be around.” You would have been right. Now, I can’t count how many people compliment the way I treat Margie. Many ask me to talk to their man and try to show them how to talk and act.
This change all came from the fact that I chose to no longer be my past. It didn’t hurt that I meant a lovely and spirited woman who held me accountable for my behavior. You can do the same. You are the result of the decisions and actions you have made up to this point. So, you are your past. You are not a prisoner of that past, however. Starting the very second you finish reading this blog, you can choose to no longer let your past define you. Changes occur in an instant. Commitment and follow through is what changes identity going forward.
In my second book, Living the Dream, there are several stories of people who prove that you do not have to be defined by your past. There is a woman who was abused as a child. She is now part of a group that helps abused children. There is a man who saw his family get killed. He moved to a different country and started a family. A gentleman who grew up in rural West Virginia, uneducated and with little prospects. He went on to become an accomplished musician and live the life of his dreams. Do they still have parts of their past that haunt them? I am sure they do. We all do. What is true about all of them is they did not let those circumstances define them. Their future was not dictated by their past.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 