Tag: self-improvement

ARE YOUR ROOTS DEEP? ðŸŒ³

What a great thought this is! Trees that have a great root system underground can withstand stronger winds than those that don’t. What does this have to do with us and living an amazing life? Plenty. When you set out towards a goal, or even just life in general, there will be plenty of storms. Some are just gentle storms. You might get a flat tire. Sure, it ruins the day, but you can get back at it without too much stress and struggle. Maybe a little lost time and inconvenience.

Then, there are the more serious storms. Losing a job for example. That is like a tornado of a storm. There are still bills to be paid. Food that needs to be purchased. Gas that needs to be put in the tank. You need to have a solid support system for that one. Having a loving spouse that can ease the burden. Maybe a group of friends to help you network. The worst is the loss of someone you love. That is a category 5 hurricane. You need to have deep roots to withstand that one. A strong faith. A group of loving friends. Self-care to help keep you above water.

Here is the important point to remember. Much like trees take time to have their roots grow deep, the same is true with you and I. Deep relationships take time to build. Discovering and practicing self-care takes time. Finding a faith that speaks to you and gives you peace in time of struggle can take time. Storms, however, they can come on quick. That is why it is important to begin to work on our roots today. Foster those loving relationships. Search for a spiritual practice that works for you. If you already have one, practice it regularly. Learn about different methods of self-care and take care of yourself.

We cannot control the storms of life, but we can grow our roots to help us withstand them. One we have no control over. The other is completely in our control.

2 PART SUCCESS FORMULA ðŸ™Œ

When pursuing success, many of us can overcomplicate things. The simple formula outlined above will get us wherever we want to go. It all starts with discipline. You must be able to say ‘no’ to the things that take you further from your goal and ‘yes’ to the things that bring you closer. That can be very difficult when that warm slice of pizza takes you further away, and going out in the cold to go to the gym is what brings you closer. It takes a strong will to be able to do this. As simple as it is, it is not easy.

The second part is even tougher patience, or consistency, which means doing the discipline over and over again. Even when you do not feel like it. Even when you do not see any signs that it is not working. That is how we improve. Let us say you are trying to improve your relationship. You are putting in the effort. Working on becoming a better listener. You are being more romantic. Still, your partner seems not to appreciate your efforts. It can be tempted to think they are not working and go back to having nightly shouting matches. What you may not know is that they are not fully able to trust your actions as genuine. Maybe they are working through their own feelings. The possibilities are endless really.

Being disciplined is hard. Being patient and working consistently may be even more difficult. You must know if you stick with these two actions, they will take you anywhere you want to go. The timing may be longer than you would like, but get there you will. Even if you seem to face setback after setback, that is all part of the journey. The more you get out of the way, the closer you are to achieving your goal. Write or print out this formula. Put it up somewhere you will see it daily. Work on your patience and your discipline. They will be the tools you need to build a successful life.

A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR THE MORNING ðŸŒ„

As I write this it is Sunday afternoon. Monday is a tough day for many of us. The start of another work week. Back to the grind as they say. That is why the list above could be so handy. Ten things to be grateful for. I think reviewing these before bed and first thing after waking would be so helpful. Starting your day with a positive thought can make all of the difference.

Think about your actions in the morning. Is it a mad dash to get out the door? Even that, with a properly placed quote, or grateful reminder, can change our mindset we use to face the day. That is why I like those daily motivational calendars. You can peel off the paper to see the most inspiring thought. It sure is better than looking at social media or watching the news first thing in the morning. Find something that inspires you and has you fired up to live your dreams and chase your goals. This website is updated everyday, first thing in the morning. Feel free to subscribe and you will be greeted with inspiring thoughts 7 days a week!

BEFORE IT IS LOST…😢

We have reached the end of the shortest month that to me feels the longest. It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes, “How long 3 minutes is depends on what side of the bathroom door you are on.” So many things in our lives can seem like they will last forever, yet are gone in the blink of an eye. I can think of no greater example of that then the people we care about. It may feel like they will always be in our life until one day they are gone forever. In my own life, I have lost 3 relatives in the first 2 months of this year alone. You never know when this may happen,

That brings us to the point of today’s post. Appreciating the elders, and everyone really, in our life. Our elders have a wealth of real-world knowledge that can only be gained through living. You may be tempted to roll your eyes when you hear grandpa tell you the same story, perhaps even more embellished, that you have heard 100 times before. Fight that urge. In addition with his ability to tell a great tale, he is sharing his opinion on what it was like to live in the time he was alive. Listen when old ones give you advice. It may seem crazy at the time, but it is often time that will show you the true wisdom behind what they have told you.

Here is a picture of my beautiful lady and I. Our love is going strong and we fall more in love every day, even 10 years later. One of the secrets to this successful relationship was given to me by my grandfather. The ironic thing is that he passed away many years before I even met this beautiful lady. How did he manage to influence our relationship? He gave me some advice when I was younger that I did fully appreciate until I found myself in love with this wonderful lady. My grandparents were married quite a long time. My grandmother had several health struggles and that, on occasion, stressed her relationship with my grandfather. I often marveled at how he was able to handle her complaints with a knowing grin, shake of the head and keep on smiling. One day I asked him the secret to a lasting relationship. He told me the secret he found was “To bend but don’t break.”

As a young man this advice didn’t really sink in. As an adult, I understood it meant to be willing to compromise on many issues, but stand up for what you really value. In our relationship, Margie and I work to do this. Knowing you will have to work with your partner to keep both of you happy is very important. It is also important to properly communicate values that are important to you to your partner. My grandfather passed this along to me many years ago, but it has gone a long way to helping me grow a beautiful love with a beautiful lady.

How about you? Has there been advice that you have learned from your elders that has made a big difference in your life? Do you find yourself really listening to, and taking in all of the wonderful knowledge and examples that your elders are passing along? This could be advice like my grandfather gave me. It can also be recipes, examples on how to treat others or a million of other different things. Just remember to appreciate them now. When they are gone, it is often too late to learn what we always wanted to know.

DON’T WORRY, START TODAY! ðŸ¤—

The month is almost over. How are those resolutions coming? If that last question made you cringe, do not worry. It can be very difficult to not fall victim to bad habits. You may be thinking that you messed up this year. We are merely 1/6th of the way through it. Even if you find yourself reading this in your later years regretting things you have not done in your life, it is not too late. Just like the quote from the great stoic above, the life you have lived up to this point is over.

Wherever we are currently starting from, it is a beginning to live our life like we should. The time we have left only matters in so far as what we do with it. You might want to read that last line again. Whether it is 2 months, 2 years or 2 decades, you have an opportunity. That is the gift of waking up today. You have a chance to brighten someone’s day who is struggling. You have the chance to lighten someone else’s load in life. You have a chance to begin to improve yourself. You may not think you will reach the finish line, but you can inspire others with how you run the race.

The ‘reset button’. What a good way to look at this. We always have the option to reset. Whether we slipped off our goals after 2 months, or we are working on fixing behaviors that we have practiced for decades. Resetting and working on improving should be an exciting and life-long pursuit. This should not seem like something to dread. The fact that there is no finish line in the world of self-improvement does not mean that you never get to celebrate. It means that no matter how amazing your life, relationships, health and career are, they is always a way to make them at least a little bit better. This should excite you. Celebrate the small wins along the way. As for defeats or stumbles, just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again,

NOT ORDINARY, A SECRET! ðŸ™Š

This is one of the great secrets to living an amazing life. With such focus on ‘finding happiness’, many people forget to look in one of the most obvious places. That hiding place is their own life. You might be thinking that cannot be true of your own life. You would be wrong. Even if your life is full of challenges right now, which would include 90% of us, you still can find a great deal of happiness you are missing. It can be found in things that we think are ordinary. The words that follow may sound cliche, but I urge you to stop and ponder them.

When you think of all of the things getting in your way of being happy, does it frustrate you? Do you have a strong desire just to live a more fulfilling and happy life? I think we all do. What if I were to tell you that one of the major obstacles to lasting happiness in your life is…well…you! More specifically, your mind and its tendency to be a little lazy. We are exposed to so many different bits of information that our mind (more to the point, our reticular activating system) has to filter out what is important and what is not. This can be very helpful when looking for possible danger and challenges. It can be a detriment when trying to fill our hearts with happiness.

Right now, we could be focused on a million different things. How the air feels on our skin. How different articles of clothing feel resting on our skin. How the light is casting shadows in the room. How deep we are breathing. Most of these we just take for granted. If we tried to notice everything we would go insane in a relatively short period of time. Normally, our brains are on the lookout for things that need improvement at the moment. We are just wired that way. What if, you began to balance that by adding a question you periodically ask yourself. One question that could change your life entirely. One question that could help balance the scales and begin to bring more joy and inner peace into your life.

This magical question is simply, “What can I enjoy in this situation?” There are many versions of this. You could also ask, “What is beautiful in my life right now?” Look at the cat in the picture above. It appears to be enjoying the wind, sun or maybe even the smell of tuna in the air. It has stopped to smell the roses, or again, maybe the tuna. We can walk past so many ‘rose bushes’ in our life and never stop to appreciate them. I endeavor to do this on my way to work every morning. I look to notice businesses I may have missed. I notice the plants planted along the streets. I think about the wonderful night I had with my lady, or look forward to what we are going to do after I get off of work. Not only does this change my focus, but it starts my mind in a positive state on the way to work.

One great thing about doing this is that it becomes second nature after a while. When you get into the habit of asking yourself what is beautiful or joyous in your life often enough, your brain will start to do it on its own. How long this takes will depend on your own situation. It may help to start by designating a time to ask yourself this every day. Just like my morning commute. Yours could be asking what went beautiful in your day before you fall asleep. This will not only help you get better rest, but will set your day ahead up for success. Even if you had challenges that day, those are beautiful. They can often help you appreciate the challenge-free life you might take for granted.

NEW AGAINST OLD, YOU AGAINST YOU ðŸ¥Š

This is one of those reminders that we do not like to get. I recall, in my own life, how this hit home. Looking back, there were a lot of character issues I had. One day while reading a book about Theodore Roosevelt, it occurred to me that I really needed to work on me. For years I had been blaming my behavior on a host of different factors. None of which were the real cause. The real cause was me and the choices I was making at the time. It was the actions I was taking and those I did not take that I should have.

It was at that moment I realized I had to take ownership of my own life. This was at once both scary and liberating. Scary because I had to admit all my past behavior was my fault. Scary because I knew it was up to me to fix all of it. It was at the same time very liberating. When I stopped trying to blame other people and circumstances for my situation, it meant I also had the power to fix it. Different decisions could be made. Different actions taken, or not taken as the case may be.

Some of you might be in the same situation. Your life is not all that you know it could be. It is far too easy to blame our upbringing, our grumpy boss, our controlling spouse or our seeming lack of opportunity. If you trace all of those circumstances back far enough, you will see that they have the same common denominator – you. Taking responsibility for your own life can be scary. As stated above, it can also be very liberating. It is up to you to change your habits, routines and decisions. Rest assured this will be a struggle. It will be tempting to fall back into old habits. The old version of you will not want you to change. It will take work and it will be a never-ending battle. By fighting that battle, you gain the ultimate freedom. That is control of your own life.

FALL IN LOVE WITH THE BOTTOM OF THE ICEBERG ðŸ§Š

When we see a massive iceberg, roughly 90% of it is underwater. That means, doing simple math, what we see is only 10% of the entire thing. Same with success. The victory, the accomplishments and the achieving of goals is only 10% of the process. As the photo above shows, 90% of the process involves things like hard work, sleepless nights and persistence. If this is where most of our time and energy end up, it is important we need to fall in love with this aspect. Why settle for being happy a mere 10% of the time? You deserve more from you life.

Falling in love with the process sounds rather cute and cliche, but what is the true meaning behind it? More to the point, how can we start to do that? As an author, I can tell you that the time I get to celebrate publishing a book is a mere fraction of the time it takes to write it. If I were to only be happy when a book was completed, it would be a pretty miserable existence. One way I found that keeps me loving the process is celebrating small wins along the way. Whether that is finishing a chapter, designing a cover, or simply opening my computer to write, there is lots to celebrate. On days when the process is the most difficult, that is when it is important to celebrate the most. Maybe you can congratulate your self for just showing up. Take getting in shape. They say the heaviest weight in the gym is the front door. That means the most difficult part of working out is getting your butt to the gym. Anyone starting this journey certainly could agree.

Another way to love the process is to develop and maintain a growth mindset. That is to say seeing challenges and obstacles as a way to learn, grow and reach closer to your goal. This can be made a lot easier by being mindful and present. When you are fully in the moment and not upset that you are not where you want to be just yet, it allows you to focus and control your energy better. It is also wise to take a brief mental trip into the future and do your best to feel like you will once your goal is accomplished. Experiencing that, if only briefly, may give you the motivation to push on.

How do you fall in love with the process? What keys to success would you offer our viewers? Share in the comments below.

BE YOU! 😃

What a powerful message from Bob Marley, who would have celebrated his 80th birthday only a few days ago. In today’s age of being ‘internet famous’, so many people are trying their best to be the next big thing. What you run the risk of is losing yourself. Staying true to ourselves despite the world, and often others, pushing us to be something they think is better is one of the greatest challenges.

When we are not true to ourselves it can cause us all kinds of stress. Maybe you did something that went against one of your values or beliefs in order to look good in someone else’s eyes, even if nobody else were to find out, the guilt that would put on your conscious would be enough to keep you up at night. You might end up experiencing indigestion. Keeping doing that, or feel the guilt long enough, and you will end up with an ulcer and maybe worse.

Plus, keeping up an image of someone you are not takes a lot of work. You can never just relax and be yourself. After a while, you may not even remember who you really are. Talk about stress and confusion. This is not to say that if people do not like a certain aspect of you that you might investigate whether a little self-improvement is needed. Saying, “That is just who I am.” can be a very immature and unenlightened way of making excuses for not putting in the work on ourselves. Just make sure the person hating on you doesn’t have a good point. If they do, maybe even a little show of gratitude while you work on becoming an even more amazing person?

What happens when you are working very hard on being the best version of yourself that you can be and there are still those who do not like you or speak ill of you? Remember the picture above. You can be the best cup of tea, or the best version of yourself, and that person just might be a coffee drinker. Do you know what? That is alright. It is not our mission to be liked by everyone on the planet. There are over 8 billion people. Tell me one thing that every one of them likes. There is nothing. That includes you. As long as we are working on being the best that we can be, others opinions are none of our business.

BE THE LIGHT ðŸ’¡

In honor of Martin Luther King Jr, I wanted to reflect on one of my favorite quotes of his. The only way to combat those of a negative nature is with love and positivity. It may be a news flash to some, but you cannot ‘out hate’ a person. Everyone ends up losing. The negative physical effects of hate will end up costing you in the long run. The increase in stress hormones will raise blood pressure, cause headaches, upset stomach and a host of other not so wonderful maladies. What is the payoff of hate? There really is none. It will cost you sleep. It will weaken your immune system and drain your energy.

On the flip side, love has a host of wonderful benefits for you. If you can fill your life with love, you will experience faster healing from wounds, better sleep, lower blood pressure and better pain relief. Not to mention your view of the world will change. When we fill our hearts and minds with hate, the world reflects those emotions to us. The world takes on a dark and foreboding feeling. We feel that everyone is out to get us. That bad luck seems to follow us around. When we are filled with love, we notice opportunities that we may have missed. Those around us feel it too. They share a smile with us. We seem to attract other love-filled souls.

Next time you are faced with hate of any kind, or even just a negative personality, remember the words in the quote above. You cannot drive darkness out with more darkness, and you can’t drive hate out with more hate. Fill yourself with love. It will change your life and it just might save your life.