Tag: self-improvement

FALL IN LOVE WITH LIFE BY JONATHAN

My next book will be filled with tools and strategies to fall in love with your life. It is with this in mind I have been asking others that very question, “What would you say is the key to falling in love with life?” Today, we are going to look at the answer given me by my coworker Jonathan. It has some great points and it just may help you fall in love with your life a little bit more. Come join me in exploring Jonathan’s answer.

To start, this is a two-part answer. The first thing that Jonathan mentioned was that people need to take care of their necessities. When I pressed him as to why he thought this was so important, he told me that unless your food, shelter and clothing are taken care of, it is hard to focus on what gives you joy. Your mind will always be in survival mode. It is true that if you lost your job or your home, meditation would not be the first thing on your mind. We must make sure our basic needs are met.

The second half of his answer was even more profound. He said it was important to spend time and energy on what makes you happy despite what others may think. He used the example of collecting comic books. If people tell you that hobby is “stupid” or “nerdy”, do it anyway. If what you enjoy brings joy to your soul and does not harm anyone else, pursue it. Sacrificing what we really enjoy to impress others, or even to not offend them, leads to resentment and anger. These feelings are not only projected at others, but at ourselves for denying our joy at the judgement of others.

Do what Jonathan advocates. Take actions to make sure the necessities of life are under control. After that do what sparks joy in your heart and do not worry about the opinions of others.

IT IS NOT ONE MORE, IT IS ONE LESS

This is a change in mindset that could really motivate us. The funny thing is that it is the truth. Often, I use the hourglass as a metaphor for our life. The sand is always going from top to bottom. Just like the time in our life is always fleeting. This should motivate even those who procrastinate the most. You do not get ‘one more day’ on earth, you actually have one less. One less day to leave a meaningful legacy. One less day to love those closest to you. One less day to become the best version of who you can be.

Most of you who follow this blog know that I had a brief flirtation with death not all that long ago. In fact, I did die, but not to ruin the plot of my book, The Beat Goes On, but I came back. That whole experience certainly changed my outlook on life as you might imagine it would. The crazy part is that it was not the actual dying and coming back, but the time leading up to it that had the greatest impact on me. Knowing that in 2 months I would have a surgery that could end my life (I did not know it actually would briefly) was not a scary prospect in terms of me not being here. What really scared me is what I would, or in some cases would not, leave behind.

I thought of the Native American saying, “It is a good day to die.” Meaning that if your life were to end today, would you be happy with the life you lived up to that point? I realized that although I had turned around a great many aspects of my life that I had a long way to go to live a life that I would be at peace leaving. For one, I felt that I had not done enough to leave the world a better place. There was so much more content to create. There were more books to write, more videos to make, and of course more blogs to write. Since that day I have written a blog for nearly 1300 days straight. My fourth book will arrive in 2026. My podcast has moved to YouTube (See Living the Dream with Neil Panosian),

Every day we have one less opportunity. Some days may be tough, others may seem impossible. Even those days we must take advantage of. We must never miss an opportunity to show kindness or lighten the burden of another. We may never have the chance again. How many more opportunities will we have to tell, and more importantly show, those we love how much we care for them? Each day is one less chance. Make the most of today.

THE SECRET OF THE JOURNEY

Most of us have heard this saying. It has become almost cliche. What I want to point out at the start of the week, and the start of a new year is how powerful it can really be. Many people have the goal to regain their health in the new year. Many of these people haven’t put any thought into their health for at least 365 days. Their journey is 1000 miles long – metaphorically. What they must remember is just like walking a thousand miles, you cannot do it any other way than one step at a time.

Another great example is writing a book. After writing three of them you think I would have a great idea of how to stay motivated and disciplined. It may very well be the opposite. When I wrote my first book, A Happy Life for Busy People, I was ignorant to all of the challenges that go into writing a book. I could not dread the editing or formatting because I had never experienced them. Same with any other goal you have tried and failed. What we must focus on is the next step.

The reason I bring this up is because it is far easier to say than do. We must keep this saying in front of us as we make our journey. In walking a thousand miles, some steps will be easier than others. We will be tempted to give up sometimes and driven others. We must realize that each one is one step closer. As we start a new week and a new year, remember to take it one step at a time.

FORGET FINDING, START CREATING!

Here we are, the first Monday of 2026! Let us take a chance to set ourselves up for success. This quote above is a great reminder that we are both the work of art, as well as the artist. We need to stop searching for our purpose, and start deciding what it will be. It can be helpful to consider what we are naturally gifted in and have a passion for. These will make our journey a little less stressful and a lot more enjoyable. We still have to spend some quality time deciding what we want the purpose of our life to be. One great way to do this is by using the ‘write your own eulogy’ exercise outlined in my second book, Living the Dream. We also discussed that a few posts back.

Neale Donald Walsch, despite spelling his first name incorrectly, is an incredible author. He mentioned how many people are looking for a mysterious chalkboard in the sky where God wrote “Your purpose in life is _____” That chalkboard does not exist. We must decide and write it. The great news is once we do decide our purpose, it can make decision making a lot easier. Does this align with my purpose or not? Another thing to consider is that once we decide on our purpose, it is not a life sentence. We can change or adapt our purpose as we grow and develop as human beings.

As we go into a new week, and a new year, let us take some time to decide what we really want to do with our life. What is our purpose? If we cannot decide on a life purpose, we can decide on the purpose of a year, or even a week. What are we going to do with our life this coming week? Will it be to practice the self-care we have been putting off? Maybe take the first step in writing that book, or starting that business? Maybe it is to reach out to some of our friends and let them know we care?

Our life, and our reason for living it, is entirely up to us. It takes some thinking and deciding to settle what that may be. The time spent on this endeavor is worth its weight in gold. It makes our decision making easier and brings a great deal of clarity and purpose to our life. Don’t you owe it to yourself to spend the time making these decisions?

UNDERSTAND BACKWARDS, LIVE FORWARD

With the ending of one year and the beginning of another, there is plenty of time spent in reflection. Many times, as we discussed a few posts ago, we discover that some of our seemingly worst moments have brought us some of our greatest gifts. Life is like that. As it says in the photo above, life can only be understood backwards, but must be lived forward.

Life can be likened to driving a car. For safety, tell you to glance in the rearview mirror every 8 seconds. One of the key words here is ‘glance’. It is important to see what is behind you. It can come up and cause trouble. Same with reflecting on your past. Spending a small amount of time reflecting on your past can serve you. It also lets you know if something in your past can negatively affect your present or your future. The key word here is ‘glance’. If you were to drive constantly focused on your rearview mirror, it would cause considerable issues with you going forward. Same with life, if you were constantly focused on your past, it would prevent you from making the most of your present. It may inevitably cause your present circumstances to crash, as you would do in your car if you drove looking in the rearview mirror.

Just as important is the part about living life forward. We mentioned it is important to glance (about 1 second) in the rearview mirror every 8 seconds. That means spending 7/8 of your time looking forward. Again, this is the same as life. When you drive you look ahead anticipating obstacles, challenges and drivers who do not realize their cars are equipped with turn signals. Then we take the appropriate actions to deal with these upcoming challenges. The same is true with life. We must look ahead and anticipate challenges and take actions to deal with them before they approach. Take that new year’s resolution you made. There will be a challenge to staying committed to that resolution. If we anticipate that in advance, we can take actions in the present to address those. Thus, making it more likely to succeed in our goal.

Will there still be the occasional driver that pulls in front of us without warning? Will there still be people who feel red lights are optional? Yes indeed. That is why looking ahead and anticipating challenges is so important. It will allow us to deal with the unforeseen challenges that much better. It is also the same reason why it is important to glance behind us. Some challenges can sneak up from behind. Same with life. Unexpected challenges can crop up out of nowhere. You anticipate expenditures, but then the water heater goes. You plan a picnic, then you get the flu. We must be prepared to deal with the unexpected. In addition, issues from our past can crop up out of nowhere. We must be prepared for that as well. In life, as well as in the car, remember to glance behind you while you focus on what is in front of you.

WISDOM IS NOT BY CHANCE.

I like this quote. It is as simple as it is profound. A lot of us are beginning to think of what we would like to improve about ourselves in the coming year. Without a good plan of action, many of the goals are merely wishes. You could replace ‘wisdom’ with whatever word you are looking to develop. It could be ‘health’ ‘compassion’ or any other quality worth developing in the new year.

Self-improvement always sounds like a good idea when you are sitting at home on a nice sunny day. “Sure, I will eat better, exercise and improve my mind in the coming year.” You say to yourself as you sit in your sunny kitchen sipping your morning coffee. What happens when you have had a tough day at work, you have to drive home in a winter storm only to discover that your spouse is upset because you came home late. Are you still going to think about how to constructively communicate all of the challenges you faced during the day and why they made you late? It would be a lot easier to snap and feel justified doing so.

What few realize is that self-improvement is not a glamorous road filled with sunshine and rainbows. It is often a gritty, painful transition to a better version of yourself. This includes admitting your wrong, confronting your inner demons and putting in lots of effort often filled with mistakes. It takes a strong belief in who you will become through this effort and a resilience to see it through. This is not easy. It can often leave you in a world of doubt and fear. You doubt if you made the right decision to embark on this journey. You doubt if you have the strength to see it through. You are afraid that you do not.

What eventually happens is that you discover strength that you never knew you had. You learn skills and fortitude that you never knew were inside you. Eventually you become a person far better than you ever thought was possible. The best part? You can use your journey to credibly mentor and help others on their journey. Self-improvement, like wisdom and life in general, is nothing that happens by chance. We must make a commitment and be resolute in our actions. The result is a life, and a person we can be proud of.

GIVE IT UP IN THE NEW YEAR!

With the New Year almost upon us, many are contemplating what resolutions to endeavor on. Personally, this should happen more than once a year, but for many self-improvement is not something that they think about until the end of the year. When people do think of New Year’s resolutions, many think in terms of what they can add to their lives. Is it a new workout routine? Is it a healthier diet? Is it being kinder and more understanding?

All of those are great ambitions, but they all come with a prerequisite. In order for us to add a new routine to our life, or a new constructive habit, we must be willing to give up the habits and mindset that has prevented us from engaging in this behavior in the first place. To use an analogy, it is like trying to sail your boat with the anchor sitting on the ocean floor. As powerful as the wind may be, you will only get so far unless you take in the anchor. Same with trying to engage in new habits. You will only get so far unless you give up the things that hold you down and hold you back.

To give a better example, let us look at the examples we stated earlier in this post. You want to start a new exercise routine. You will have to give up all of the excuses that you use to prevent you from working out. “I don’t have time.” “I am too tired.” or whatever they may be. You want to have a healthier diet? That’s great but unless you give up the Pop Tarts and Mountain Dew, you will be like that boat trying to sail with the anchor down. You want to be kinder and more compassionate? You must give up the office gossip and the temptation to talk poor about others behind their back.

When you are looking to develop a new healthy habit, ask yourself what negative habits that you have to give up in order to give yourself a much better chance of success. In addition, you will see results a lot quicker if you both give up the negative and add the positive.

JUDGE EACH DAY BY THE SEEDS YOU PLANT

Another great quote from one of my favorite Stoics. How many of us judge the success of our days, or our lives, by how much we harvest? How much money did we make? How much power and influence did we earn? Did we get that promotion? Did we get affection and love from our partner? Did our friends praise us? Not only does this cause stress, it can make us a self-centered jackass. If only there was a way to handle our life and decide whether it was successful that was less stressful and moved us closer to becoming the best version of ourselves.

There is! That is how many seeds we planted. What on earth does this analogy mean? Looking at the examples above, let us figure that out. How much money did we make? What if we instead looked at how much we invested? What we did that may help us earn money in the future? Did we review our budget? Did we get that promotion? How about the work we put in that will separate us from our coworkers and show what a valuable employee we are? Setting us up to earn promotions in the future? How much power and influence did we earn? This is a tricky one because it is rarely understood by those looking for power and influence. One of the best ways to get both is to find as many ways as you can to be of service. The more you can give to any situation, the more valuable and significant you are. Next we can combine the relationships of our intimate partner and our friends. Why? The solution is pretty much the same. If we are looking for love and affection, or we are looking for praise, we must ask ourselves what we did to earn it. I can tell you on a personal level, when I do something that will bring joy, peace or love to my Margie, my heart soars! Not only that, I usually receive a healthy dose of love in return. When I can do something to help my friends, or express genuine appreciation for them, it results in a reciprocation. That is not the reason you should do it. Always be genuine, but the best way to earn the respect of others is to show them respect.

One important lesson of all of these is that you have little control over how the harvest of your life turns out. Just like growing crops, some years will be better than others. What you have entire control over is the seeds you plant and how well you take care of them. What do you think would be less stressful, putting all of your energy and importance into the harvest, over which you have no control or the planting over which you have complete control? Ask yourself what seeds have you planted today.

YOU NEVER KNOW YOUR BALANCE, SPEND WISELY

After reading the quote in this picture, there is not much to say, but yet you could spend forever pondering it. We will spend a little less than forever but spend a little time pondering the virtues of spending our time wisely. Looking at time as a currency certainly gives it more value in many people’s eyes, which is ironic in itself. Can you imagine spending money never knowing how much you had? You could wind up with a bunch of worthless junk and not enough money to afford food and shelter. Sadly, this is how many people do live.

I often look at life like an hourglass. The sand only goes one way and it is always flowing. That is like our life. Our years are flowing from the top to the bottom. We can do things to slow the flow, but there is no putting the sand back. In addition, it is as if the top of the hourglass is covered. We never know how much sand we have left. Try looking at an hourglass and pondering this. Even a little timer that comes in a boardgame will do. Watch the sand flowing and realize the time you have left is doing the same. This should not make you sad, but create a sense of urgency.

We only have so many more tomorrows. How many, none of us know. That is why wasting our time on senseless gossip or the destruction of others is not only a vile use of our time, but a waste. There is a cliche that says, “Every minute you spend in anger is 60 seconds of happiness you lose.” That might not be it exactly, but you get the idea. We must use our time in ways that not only serve our peace and development, but that of those we care about. Doing things to help the world live in peace and harmony is a good use of anyone’s time. How about you? How are you spending your time?

YOUR 2 CHOICES

We touched on this a little earlier in the week. You really do have control of your mind. It doesn’t come easy. That is especially true if you have be letting it run the show up until now. Things like declaring your intention to have a good day no matter what the world throws at you in the mirror first thing in the mirror, go a long way to taking back that control. How else can we regain control of our minds? One word that always comes to the forefront is gratitude. Taking a few minutes each day to focus on all we have grateful for is a method to start to take back that control. If you do this at the end of each day, say by writing a few things in a gratitude journal, your mind will subconsciously be looking them throughout the day without you even having to tell it to.

Another method we discussed a while ago is the method of accomplishing goals. That is writing your goal on a top of a paper and taking an hour a day, five days a week, to come up with as many ideas on how to reach that goal as possible. Not only will you be focused on your goal in that hour, your brain will begin to bring to light ideas in the oddest hours. Meaning that in the background, our minds continue to work on that goal as we go about our day. This ‘goal’ could mean many things. How to improve our health, our relationship, our career, or even our sense of inner peace.

Make your mind work for you. It is up to you to take back control of your mind. Once you do, it can help you accomplish things beyond your wildest imagination!