Tag: self-improvement

LET THIS FACT GUIDE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE 🦮

This may be my stoic way of thinking, but I find this to be a very powerful and motivational quote. Many people have told me it sounds morbid or fatalistic. Why? It is a fact. We never know exactly when our final day may come, but we know it is out there. It will never be a comfortable situation to be faced with, but wouldn’t you rather do so prepared? How can one prepare for the end of their life? By living each day to the fullest. This does not mean working yourself to the bone, or even not working at all and spending all day in leisure.

For me, if the end came tomorrow, I would want to know that I made the most out of each moment. How do we do that? The first part is the ability to be present. This is a skill that is all but gone from the world today. I recently saw a video where a monk was asked his secret for remaining joyful. His answer, in its simplicity, was yet profound. He said, “When I am at work, I work. When it is time to eat, I am eating. When it is time for sleep, I am sleeping.” He went on to explain much of the discord in life is that when people are at work, they are thinking about eating. When they are eating, they are wishing they were sleeping. When they finally get to bed at night, they are already worried about working the next day. How true is this? When we find our mind regretting the past, or worried about the future, we are doing the same thing. The past and future do not exist. If you dread and regret the past, use that emotion to drive you to do better in the present. If you are worried about some aspect of your future, use that emotion to plan and prepare better today. The present is the only time we have control over.

The end is always drawing closer. This is not meant to scare us, but to motivate us. Do what you can with what you got today. You never know what you will have tomorrow. Love with all you have today. That is one thing you will never regret. If it is true that we might die tomorrow, how are we living today? Ask yourself that question.

HERE IS THE KEY 🔑

This is a very good secret to an amazing life. That is to catch yourself thinking negatively and toss in some gratitude and appreciation. It will not only dramatically improve the quality of your emotional state, but will change the way you start to view and interact with the world. Does that sound a little bold or over the top? Ask yourself this question. Do you treat people differently when you are feeling angry verses grateful? How about sad verses filled with joy? Even if this difference in treatment is not conscious, if we are being honest, most of us must agree that we do treat people differently based on our emotional state. You have more patience and are more forgiving if you are in a better mood. You are better able to view the positive side of a situation.

Again, we see that gratitude is the antidote to negativity. That is why the more processes to foster gratitude you have in your life, the better. When we are in a negative state, or at the very least going down that path, it can be hard to come up with something we appreciate. That is why doing so ahead of time is so vital. How do we now when ‘ahead of time’ is? We don’t. Our brains can pop up with a negative thought without a warning. That is why we should always be on the lookout for what we can be grateful for. We can do this is so many ways. Find one that works for you. Next, make sure to record those thoughts.

You can start a gratitude journal where you write down daily what you are grateful for. You can have an album of pictures in your phone of people, places and things that you are grateful for. You could even record positive affirmations of what you appreciate on your phone. That way, when negativity shows up, you do not have to think, you have something ready. Here is another secret. This will seem difficult, if not impossible, at first. The more you do it, however, the easier it will become. Before long, you will not only catch your negative thoughts quicker, but they will seem to come less often and they will be outnumbered by grateful thoughts!

A BIRD WITHOUT WINGS? 🐦

Salvador Dali, crazy talented artist. Check out that mustache! Here ol’ Sal makes a pretty good point. Many people think that improving yourself is just about learning more. It is actually a balance of learning more and putting that knowledge to use. We can learn all we want, but if we fail to act on it, well…we might as well not have learned it at all. I would not only say act, but act boldly. Many times we need to act to learn vital pieces of information. As the saying goes, you do not know what you do not know. Meaning, often when acting on knowledge you think is complete, you realize that a vital piece of that knowledge is missing.

One of the most “interesting” areas that this comes into play is in relationships. Whenever you are dealing with two human beings there will be unexpected events that crop up. This is not only to be expected, but can be one of the greatest opportunities for growth. When I learn something that is supposed to improve a relationship, I can’t wait to use it with the love of my life. It is often with Margie’s help that I learn a tweak that will add greatly to the tool or strategy that I just learned. When two people work together they multiply their efforts.

Acting on the knowledge you have gained will only add to that knowledge. The more you do anything the better you get at it. That is because you learn things along the way. Just as acting without knowledge (think of driving a car without knowing how) can be dangerous. It does little for us to learn something without putting it to use. I see many people who spend years researching the best way to lose weight. They would have been better to just start walking and learning along the way. Act with the knowledge you have now and build upon that knowledge as you move through life.

Lastly, make that action bold. If you are going to love, love boldly. If you are going to give, give boldly. The more intense the action, the greater the knowledge and results. Even if you discover that action is not right for you, this will be learned quicker if the action is bolder. Learning isn’t worth much if we do not couple that knowledge with action.

KEEP ONE AROUND

One of the great secrets to an amazing life is to set yourself up for success. Learn as many tools and strategies to improve your life and maintain a positive emotional state as you can. Never rely on just one strategy to get the job done. Just as a screwdriver would not work to saw a log in half, or a saw to put a screw in, different situations in life call for different tools.

One thing that will help is setting your environment up for success. In this endeavor, use the same approach. Engage as many tools and strategies as you are able. I have a daily inspirational calendar I read. There are also motivational pictures and quotes in my locker at work. We discussed having a ‘happy playlist’ of songs that inspire you at the ready. Another great idea is to keep pictures around that just make you smile. The picture above of the otter is a great example. I have many silly and adorable pictures of my beautiful lady that never fail to put a smile on my face. I would share one of them here, but I fear I may be sleeping on the porch then.

How about you? What tools and strategies do you use to keep a smile on your face and joy in your heart? Do you have any pictures that make you smile? Are they placed where you can see them every day? Share your ideas so that we may all be one step closer to an amazing life!

ENJOY IT NOW, BEFORE IT IS GONE 😮

I once heard someone say, “You are older than you have ever been and younger now than you will ever be again.” Sounds crazy, but if you ponder that, it is really true. How quickly can life be turned upside down? You could lose a physical ability you have today in an instant. A friend or relative could move away, or worse pass away. Every second is such a gift. Can you think back 10 years? What would you have done differently or wish you would have done? Realize the same will hold true 10 years from now. Live life to its fullest every second of every day.

I would love to hear some of your stories. What do you wish you would have done differently 10 years ago? What do you do to enjoy life in the present? What do you suggest for our readers that will help them enjoy their life more?

AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE ABOUT GRATITUDE 🙏

I have been waiting to have the time to sit down and write this post. Thank you for stopping in today at Secret2anamazinglife.com. Throughout our over 10 year run, the topic that comes up the most is gratitude. Some of you may even be rolling your eyes at the thought of yet another post about gratitude. The reason we post so much about this subject is that I firmly believe in order to change your life, you have to change your mindset. There is nothing that works with more speed and impact to change your mindset than gratitude.

In my 2 decades of work in the self-improvement field, I have shared this opinion to everyone who would listen. It is what changed my life for the better, and still does. If you use it, I promise it will do the same for you. What most people struggle with is believing that gratitude can do all of this, and how to use it in their own life. They think of people who are constantly preaching the gospel of gratitude as people who go through life ‘wearing rose-colored glasses’. That is not what true gratitude is about at all.

It is not believing that there is no weeds in the garden. Gratitude is realizing that in addition to the weeds, and sometimes in spite of them, wonderful plants and flowers bloom. It is also not just focusing on the plants and pretending there is no weeds. It is working on the weeds while caring for the plants. In case this metaphor is not perfectly clear, we will spell it out. The weeds are the challenges, or what is wrong in life. The plants and flowers represent what is right and good in our world. Just as a garden is rarely, if ever, free of weeds, our life is rarely if ever free of challenges. We must work on overcoming our challenges, while still being grateful for all that is good. You would not give up on a garden because there are a few weeds. You should not give up on life because there are challenges.

Developing an attitude of gratitude is one of the best things you can do for your life. It does not mean that you are denying or ignoring the challenges in life. You are making the bold stand that there is beauty in, and that life is worth while despite the challenges. It is often in the challenges that the true beauty and reasons to be grateful can be found.

THERE ARE ONLY 2 PROBLEMS ✌️

Life is a balance. This quote is a good representation. I think most of us fall on either side of this equation. How about you? Do you act without engaging your thinking apparatus? Perhaps opening your mouth while keeping your mind shut? Perhaps you are someone who sits on the sideline wargaming everything but never engaging in action? Worried about making the wrong decision so you never make any decision at all.

Next time you are facing a challenge in your life, ask yourself which one of these two camps you fall in. Are you acting without thinking things through? Maybe you are spending too much time in your head and need to get out there and start taking more action. Even if the action you take is incorrect, you will certainly learn that quicker than if you never acted in the first place. Can it really be this simple? Find out for yourself. Next time you are challenged, ask yourself if you need to act or to think more.

GREATEST FORM OF ACTIVISM 👩‍🎤

It would be safe to say that the world feels pretty divided right now. There are lots of folks fighting for their beliefs. Sadly, there are many fighting against each other. This may come as a surprise to many, but you cannot bully, yell or argue your way into convincing someone your way is the best way. What you can do is become the best living example of why your way of life is admirable. Would you take financial advice from someone who is broke? How about workout advice from someone who is hopelessly out of shape? Probably not.

See this happy couple? People ask us our secret all of the time. I would like to see more couples respect each other and constantly work on improving their relationship. What do we do? We are that couple. Do we always get it right? Of course not. Then we hopefully work on being an example of the kind of people we would like to see handling a disagreement with their spouse correctly. It is not only intimate relationships either. How you engage with anyone says a lot about you. Do you wish people would respect your beliefs? Then ask yourself if you are someone who respects other’s beliefs? Do you wish we would treat other with kindness? Ask yourself how you treat people who cannot do anything for you. Do you still treat them with kindness and respect?

My favorite bit of advice has always been “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” I do my best to live up to that every day. How about you? Are you the personification of the changes you wish to see in the world? If not, wouldn’t it be a good time to shine by example?

ADVICE FROM THE GREAT 👑

This quote is very powerful. Let us take a look at it in two separate pieces. The first part, “Let us conduct ourselves so that all men wish to be our friends.” What does this mean to you? Most people are looking for friends with benefits. No, not necessarily those benefits, but what can they get out of being friends with you. Nobody wants to spend their time, which is the most precious commodity, with someone who does not offer something positive. Are most friendships really this transactional? Let me ask you a question. Would you want to spend time with someone who makes you unhappy, is not a good conversationalist and does not enlighten you? Most of us would answer ‘no’ to that, and we should. Life is short.

The point of this is that we should endeavor to become people worth knowing. If we want to conduct ourselves so that all people wish to be our friends, what would that mean? It would mean learning to be a better listener. It would would mean developing the ability to blend honesty and compassion. It would not mean calling someone a nasty name a 5-year-old would use just because they hold a different opinion of you. Are you the type of person people will talk good about even when you are not around? That is usually a good litmus test as to how good of a person you are.

Now the second part, “All fear to be our enemies.” To me, this does not mean fear of retribution or violence. Those are actually acts of desperation. If we may take a glance at the first half of the quote, it will give an answer to the second. If you are someone that everyone would like to be friends with, how would that reflect on someone who doesn’t like you or wishes to be your enemy? People would look at them funny. “What is wrong with this person that he doesn’t like Bob? Bob is such a great guy.” There is always something wrong with people who pride themselves on tearing down other’s reputations. You should be so busy with improving yourself that you have no time to dwell on other’s faults.

Being well-connected is another way to have people fear to come against you. How do we become well-connected? By being someone that everyone would like to know, do business with and call their friend. Become a person of discipline, purpose and integrity. Nobody wants to go against someone like that. Before long, they just might add ‘the great’ after your name as well.

READ THIS BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE! 🫨

Every day it seems we are bombarded with messages to create a sense of urgency on our behalf. “Buy this before you will miss out on this epic sale!” “Pay you tax bill before you go to jail!” “See the doctor about your condition before you fall over dead.” Obviously, some of these are good advice to follow. Generally, waiting to deal with a problem seldom makes it better. It is good to tackle that debt before it gets out of control. It is better to see the doctor at the first sign of trouble. As far as buying that exciting new sports car before the summer sale is over? That might be pushing it.

Many of these advertising giants employ two tactics to create this urgency. One is fear of what might happen if you do not address it. This works very well in our tax and doctor example. The other is fear of missing out, or FOMO as it is known. What will you miss if you do not act now? Will it be saving large amounts of money for a car to impress the neighbors? We sure can be moved to action by those who would like us to buy their products.

Here is the crazy thing, we are missing the sense of urgency we should have. That is to make the most of life. I realize that this may sound like some cliche put forth by a self-improvement guru, but hear me out. Every day, sometimes multiple times a day, we lose opportunities. People pass away. Jobs are lost. We get a terrible diagnosis. The sands of the hourglass do not stop. Not for us, not for those we love. To some, this may sound like I am dwelling on a morbid subject. View it how you will, but it still remains true. The days, and the chance to make the most of them, are slipping away by the second. This becomes more clear when you go through a near-death experience or as you grow older. Being a member of both of those clubs, let me assure you that I see this fact very clear.

You might think this has little to do with you because you are still young. Not so. Yes, the more years you put behind you, the more likely you are to meet an untimely demise, but youth is not a promise to life. In today’s world we can see this more and more. War, famine, political unrest and social violence has all but come the norm. Not to mention the lives of others in your life. You do not know what their situations are. Your time with your children is growing shorter parents. Children, you will only have your parents so long. Best friends are only rented, even if they last a lifetime. We are never promised tomorrow, but we can make the most of today. That is the urgency we are trying to convey here today. Tomorrow is not promised for any of us. Say “I love you” one more time. Forgive and move on, not for their benefit, but so you can reclaim the peace in your heart you so richly deserve.

Look at the sands in the hourglass. They fall second by second. The amount on top forever getting smaller. We do not know how much is left on the top of hourglass. What I can promise you is that it is less then it was when you began reading this post.