Tag: self-image

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

It seems like only yesterday that I was posting about my goal of 1000 days in a row of content. My beautiful lady even threw me a surprise party for the event. It was attended by dear friends and had me feeling so sky high. Can you believe that was 100 days ago? Just like that, we are at 1100 days in a row of content. In some ways this has become easier. Posting insightful content has went from becoming something I do into more of something I am.

Like many things in life, this change has unlocked a secret to an amazing life. That is when your actions become your identity, life becomes less stressful. We can apply this to any area of life. Trying to get in the habit of going to the gym? Start referring to yourself as ‘a gym person’. This works by activating both inner and outer reinforcements. On the outer side of things, the people you inform, “I have decided to become a gym person.” or however you wish to word it, will be more than happy to remind you that gym people go to the gym. On the inner side of things, it starts to work on your subconscious mind. That is what drives 95% of our behavior. Repetition of a statement, as well as attaching it to our identity, will make doing the actions that much easier.

Think of how this works. If you start taking the actions and thinking the thoughts of the person you wish to be, before long, you will be that person. Take our fitness example. If you start declaring you are a fitness person, even if currently that means ‘fitting this doughnut in my mouth’, you will start thinking and talking like a fitness person. When your subconscious hears you say “I have decided to become a fit person.” Then you find yourself making the most of an all-you-can-eat taco bar, it feels wrong. Your mind begins to tell you “This does not align with our identity.” Soon you will find yourself adjusting your actions to fit your new identity.

It has worked for me and my writing. It will work for you and whatever goal you are aspiring to. Decide who you wish to become and then become that person. Declare it and your mind and body will follow.

WHAT IS YOUR WORTH?

We are all like this bar of iron. We have so much potential inside of us. What we do with that potential goes a long way to determine our worth. This is why it is so important to do what feeds your soul. You may not be lucky enough to do it for a living, but you can even pursue it on the side as a hobby. What you create and bring to the world will be amazing. When people live with passion, everyone in the world benefits.

Perhaps, like myself, you are in a job that does not make the best use of your talents. What you should do is find a way to put those talents on display. It may cost you some recreation time, and maybe even a little sleep. Let me assure you that the sleep you will get will be far better knowing that you allowed the gift inside you to see the light. It will not only bring you more inner peace, but may also lead to a new, more fulfilling career.

Another thing to be careful of is letting others determine your worth. Some may look at you and believe that you are that bar of iron. Not worth much. Try to limit your exposure to these people. Some can see the horse shoes or even the watch springs inside of you. Meaning, they can see how amazing you are even if you are not there yet. Surround yourself with people who believe in you and see the best in you. That belief may help you push yourself to be the best version of you that you can be.

YOUR ORIGINAL WEIGHT ⚖️

In a world full of Instagram models, social media filters and AI photos, far too many of us are chasing unrealistic and unhealthy goals. That model you are aspiring to look like may spend all day in the gym, have a professional chef and maybe even cosmetic surgery. The picture of a fitness guru may be airbrushed or altered in some way. What may be healthy for them, may not be healthy for us. Speaking of health, is that what you are chasing, or just an appearance? Have you given any thought to the inner beauty you have and how you can improve that?

One of the things that can drive us crazy is picking some arbitrary goal. “I would love to get down to my weight when I was ____.” someone will say. Forgetting that our bone density, hormonal profile, level of activity and many other factors have changed. Even picking one factor, such as weight, is a mistake. With the new smart scales, it can give you a much clearer picture of what your weight actually means. How much is fat? How much is water? How much is muscle? You may be healthier at a slightly higher weight depending on these factors.

Next time you are tempted to chase some arbitrary goal, think of this silly picture. You should not worry about going back to some version of you that you used to be, and focus on being the best and healthiest version of who you currently are.

ONE SIMPLE ACTION 🎬

The week is starting to wind down and we might be already looking forward to the weekend. There is one thing we can do to finish the week off right and start the weekend in a positive note. What is that one thing? Following the recommendation of the loveable bear above, we should love ourselves first.

When we develop a positive self-image, not only are we able to conduct our lives better, but we can help others do the same. Loving ourselves first can be one of the healthiest actions we take. I’m asking you, the reader, what ways do you love yourself first? Let us share with each other and develop a healthy action plan.

GIVE YOURSELF TIME 🕒

One of the rarest character traits to have today is patience. Everyone is looking for things to happen yesterday. We want technology to be quicker and faster. We want our goals to be accomplished yesterday. Self-discipline and persistence are skills that you really have to look to find. It seems if a goal is going to take too much effort or too much time it is cast away and we pursue another avenue. I think you can see the obvious negative outcomes on our lives by adapting this manner of thinking.

One bit of collateral damage that occurs when we begin to think and operate in such a manner is that we apply the same logic to ourselves. It is perhaps a tired metaphor, but think of the butterfly and the stages it has to go through. Depending on what part of the butterfly’s life we walk in on, we will view it as a glorified worm, a hanging clump or a beautiful flying creature. I am not trying to speak ill of caterpillars. It is apparent, outside of Alice in Wonderland, there are not many people getting tattoos of caterpillars on their ankles.

It doesn’t help that people feel the need to only show us their butterfly stage. On social media the only time you see a ‘before’ picture is if there is an ‘after’ picture to go with it. It is natural to show yourself in the best light, but that is not always helpful to others who may feel they don’t measure up. Looking at pages and pages of people’s butterfly stage can make you feel like one ugly caterpillar.

In addition to taking time, people assume that life is a linear development. They forget we have peaks and valleys. In life you can be up one day and down the next. More to the point, you can be down one day and up the next. It is important to not view your entire life in just a section. Give yourself both time and opportunity. You might be in the caterpillar stage or you might just be in a valley. In working on developing our patience and discipline, it is important to start with ourselves.

WHO IS THIS PERSON?⁉️

There is one activity that I believe we could all benefit by doing. This one activity alone could not only change our life, but the way we approach the world in general. Enough people did this, we would change the world. It does not matter if you live in Uganda, Fiji, The Bahamas or right here in Wisconsin where I do. This activity will work no matter what your gender, race, religion or political belief. It is not an expensive or complicated activity. You can spend as long as you like on it. Although, the secret is, the more time you spend on it, and the more often you do it, the more effective it will become. This activity can help you make better choices and help bring clarity to the choices you have to make. It can help you pick a career that suits you as well as a romantic partner that will best meet your needs.

This activity is introspection. As unexciting as that may sound, it is a skill not many people, if any, master today. Do not believe me? Look at anyone waiting in any kind of line. What are they doing? You know the answer to this one. They are on their phone. Sitting alone at a coffee shop? On the computer or phone. There is very little getting out in nature and spending time thinking about who we really are. We chose jobs based on money or advice from others. We chose romantic partners based on looks or charm. How many of us sit and write down a list of our most important values and what our goals are? How many of us really have a clear picture of who we are?

When you know what is important to you, your time is well spent. When you know what your goals are, you know what direction to move in. When you know this, you know what decisions to make. If you don’t know the first thing about the person in the mirror, these decisions can seem very complicated and confusing. Life will be more stressful. How much easier would your life be if you know exactly who you were, what was important to you and what goals you were chasing?

This week, spend some time really getting to know the person in the mirror. It will allow you to perform well above the average person. In addition, it will remove a lot of stress from your decisions and your life. Gaining clarity and your values and your self-identity is like spending time digging in a vein of pure gold. You may be surprised at what you discover when you investigate the most interesting person in the world – the one in the mirror.

SUNDAY PONDERING 🤔

You see it everywhere, people taking selfies. This past weekend, Margie and I saw a little grandma at the diner we were at trying to capture herself in the best light. It can be tricky taking a picture of yourself. Finding just the right light and just the right angle. You want to both highlight your positives and hide your negatives. Margie informs me she takes dozens to find one she likes enough to send to me. I have given up on that a long time ago. After I send my picture, a message about being stuck with me usually follows.

That is why, when I saw this quote, I had to share it with all of you. In a world where we are obsessed with our image, how many of us invest in what really counts? You can make the outside look as good as you want, but if the inside is unattractive, you will be too. On this site we certainly recommend taking care of your physical appearance. Liking what you see in the mirror will have you feeling more confident and willing to try new things. Just as, actually more, important is taking care of the inside. Have you ever met someone who might not fit your usual definition of attraction, but because of their energy and personality, you can’t help but want to be around them? Happened to me when I first met this lady with bright pink hair. Ten years later, I find her the most beautiful person in the world.

How about you? If you could take a selfie of your soul, would you want to post it online? Would it be attractive? Are you compassionate towards others? How is your temper? Do you often do random acts of kindness? How is your level of inner peace? Next time you are trying to capture that perfect likeness of yourself, take a moment to think about how the inside looks.

A LITTLE TIP TO REMEMBER 🤔

Just a quick reminder on your Sunday, that you should make a point to be kind to the person in the mirror? How often do we give ourselves a compliment? When we do, does it feel awkward? If so, that is a sign that we need to do it more often!

Realizing that there are awesome things about us, and mentioning them to ourselves, does not make us arrogant. We seem to mention and discuss what is wrong with us and not working in our lives quite often. How does that make us feel? Try saying something good about yourself. Even though none of us are perfect, we all have some amazing things inside of us. Let’s appreciate a few today. 😃

YOU ARE WORTH IT!❤️

I think discipline, especially self-discipline, is one of the most attractive qualities. Being able to do what you said you would do, long after the urge to do it has passed, is very admirable. It is not only keeping your word to those you told, but, and perhaps more importantly, it is keeping your word to yourself. How do you think people feel about you when you break your word to them? Not so good would be my guess. They start to trust you less and view you as less reliable. When you do not maintain your self-discipline, that is how you start viewing yourself. It begins to tear down your self-image. This, in turn, affects your self-confidence. Having a poor self-confidence and self-image can lead to a whole host of problems. The inability to put yourself out there. The reluctance to try new things. Missed opportunities.

If we stop to think about it, self-discipline is really self-love. When we keep our world to others and to ourselves, we can hold our heads up high. We have a sense of pride. Not to mention, we do not have the stress that comes with not getting the things we planned on getting done just because we didn’t feel like it. If we only work when we feel like it, we will only go so far. I heard a saying that went something like this, “Motivation gets you started, discipline allows you to finish.”

Next time you feel like ‘giving yourself a break’ and not finishing what you said you would do, realize you are doing yourself a great disservice. You will diminish your standing in both the eyes of others and in the eyes staring back at you in the mirror. Keep your word to yourself. Here is what I have found, the more you act with self-discipline, the easier it becomes. If you take control of your mind, instead of it controlling you, the muscle of self-discipline will only grow stronger.

FAILURE IS NOT FINAL, IT IS FORMATIVE

Last post, I shared with you that fact that I had decided to throw away the months of work and writing I had been doing for my fourth book. It was, in some sense, a failure. It did not meet the expectation that I had for what I wanted to share with the world. Does this make me a failure? I really do not feel like it. The project was. I will still write a fourth book. It will be different than the one I was writing. It will be better.

Think of any great accomplishment we have had in life. Learning to walk. Learning to speak. Getting in shape. Starting a relationship. Finding the love of our lives. Which one of those was a linear process? Which one did we accomplish flawlessly? I am not sure about you, but my total is something slightly less than one. I fell a million times learning to walk. Some days I feel that I am still learning to communicate with those in my life. Getting in shape? That is a life-long journey. My relationship is something that took a lot of work on both of our ends and continues to do so as we navigate the challenge of two different people living one life.

Society’s definition of failure is wholly inaccurate. If it were, no babies would ever learn to walk without a terrible self-image. People would give up on each other before their love had a chance to fully blossom. To, of course, authors would never complete their next book. Failure is not an outcome unless we choose to make it so. It is, more accurately stated, a stepping stone. Next time you feel like a failure, ask yourself if you were failing, or merely learning. Are you going to give up, or begin again more intelligently?