Tag: Self-Help

MY PATH TO FINDING THE RIGHT PARTNER

Working in the self improvement field, there are times when people ask my advice on relationships. It doesn’t hurt that I have a relationship most people would love to have. It may appear from the outside that our love comes naturally. That is good. Behind the scenes we both put in a lot of hard work to enjoy the love that we do.

My advice for anytime someone asks is to work on being the best version of themselves. That way, should you discover in the end that you are not right for each other, you not only come out as a better version of yourself than when you started, but you also have far fewer regrets.

The above quote begins “Man to man” but the gender is not important. What is important is that we take the steps listed above, and any other we think will help us improve, to continually improve. We do this as much for ourselves as we do for the person we are in the relationship with. Every aspect of your life improves when you do.

Not in a relationship? That’s great too! Instead of seeing who you can “get” at the current moment, focus on yourself. Work on becoming the best ‘you’ there can be. Keep your eyes open as you do. When the right person comes along, being the best version of yourself gives the relationship the best chance of success.

LOVE THROUGH A CORN DOG?

Last week, I had posted about being on vacation and attending our wonderful state fair. The Wisconsin State Fair brought many fun memories again this year. Great bands, great shows, wonderful food, but most importantly, time with family and friends.

I was lucky enough to have a few days with my lovely lady. We always get a coupon book that makes the whole experience a lot more affordable. One of the foods she enjoys eating during the fair is a corn dog. We were going to grab one a few times, but usually ended up too full by the time we got to the stand.

One day while I was wondering around by myself and missing her, I reached in my pocket and pulled out this corn dog coupon we were going to use. It made me think of how lucky I was to have such a wonderful partner to share things like the state fair with.

In life, there are reminders all around us of the special people in our lives. Reminders of things we should be grateful for. We often dismiss them as everyday objects. Perhaps they mean more to us after a person has passed away.

One of the secrets to an amazing life is to call your attention to these items while they are present. Spend some time pondering what they represent and the people you care about. It will increase the amount of love and gratitude in your life. That, in turn, will make your life more amazing!

WE DID IT! THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP!

A wonderful thing happened on my last night of vacation. As of August 16th, we surpassed the record amount of views we have received on this site… for a year! We still have 4 months to go and have already had more views than last year.

Why is this such a great thing to celebrate? More views equal a larger amount of people joining our community. That means more people who are working towards making this a better place for us all. If you enjoy this website, feel free to share it on your social media pages, tell a friend or promote it in any other manner.

Even better is the fact that we have reached a great number of countries on 6 continents. Spreading the message of positivity and self-improvement across the globe! That’s why working together we can make a change.

WHAT SPARK ARE YOU GRATEFUL FOR?

Yesterday we talked about hope and the importance it plays in an amazing life. Today we are going to ask ourselves another question. That question is “what spark are you grateful for?” Sometimes what is needed in life is the catalyst to ignite the fire of passion that is often extinguished by the daily grind.

That spark can be a place that you find peace and tranquility. It can be a fun activity that makes you forget your troubles for a while. We have been discussing the fact that I have been enjoying the Wisconsin State Fair. It is this joyous event in which I was reminded of another spark in life.

The photo you saw at the beginning of this post was Kathy and Tony. Two amazing people. One amazing couple. I was blessed to know them both when Tony was my dentist. An important side note – he is also the most talented dental wizard I have ever come across. If wanting to go to the dentist was possible, he we be the one to make it happen.

More important than his dental magic, is the fact that both Tony and Kathy are two incredible human beings. They are genuine, and have the amazing ability to demonstrate strength through vulnerability. They also seem to age in reverse. That last part has nothing to do with what we are discussing, but is an unusual fact not common in most people.

What may be the most powerful and inspiring aspect of this amazing couple is their ability to see the good in life, but even more, the good in the people they share it with. There are occasions when we need others to believe in us until such time when we can believe in ourselves.

By being able to see, and articulate the good in you, it makes you want to strive to become the best version of yourself. Case in point my interaction with Kathy and Tony the other day. They inquired about my writing, offering me encouragement. Asked about my upcoming wedding. More importantly, listening to my reply with not only attention, but genuine interest.

I walked away inspired to work even harder to be the best version of myself, and bring even more good into the world. In other words, be the kind of person Kathy and Tony think I am. Having friends like that is a spark everyone should have in their life.

A TERRIBLE RECIPE, BUT A NECESSARY INGREDIENT

Have you ever baked a cake? My beautiful lady and her daughter own a bakery. I’ve seen more bakery than you can imagine. Don’t confuse that with me knowing how to bake. What I do know is that many ingredients play a role in creating the perfect recipe.

Some ingredients change the recipe slightly. If you accidentally forgot them, the dish might be different but it would not be ruined. Others are vital. Forget this one ingredient and you might as well throw the whole thing in the trash and start over. Can you imagine making a cake with no sweetener?

I think hope is the sweetener of life. It makes even the worst situation a little sweeter. Life without hope would be a terrible recipe indeed. As important as an ingredient is, it does not make an entire recipe. Pouring a bunch of sugar in a pan does not create a cake!

The same is true with hope. You cannot rely on hope as an entire life strategy. You must take intelligent action and put forth consistent effort. Those are some of the other ingredients in the recipe of a good life! Just do not forget to keep hope in your heart. It will keep the sweetness in your life.

THIS IS A CALAMITY!

Few things in life can be so helpful as a purpose. It is not only a light in the darkness, but a compass on the high sea of life. After all, how can you know if you are going in the right direction if you do not know where you are headed?

The first step is deciding on your purpose. For some reason, this is glossed over in most education systems. Your purpose does not necessarily have to even be tied to your career. Your purpose could be to bring as much light and love to everyone you meet. It could be to volunteer to help animals.

Yes, your purpose in life could ultimately be intertwined with your career too, but the point is that it does not have to be. My life purpose is pursued outside of my daily vocation. Yours could be as well. Just make sure you have one. Do not wake up, pay bills and die. That is not what life is about.

Another fact to remember is that you can change your purpose. Yes, you can give your all to something and discover it is not for you. People change. Life changes. Your purpose can change as well. Do not let commitment scare you from deciding a purpose to begin with.

Decide your next port of call today. Then, raise the sails and set out on the journey. If you arrive at your destination, or even just get close, only to discover it is not for you, all you need to do is adjust the sails and change course. Just make sure you are headed towards somewhere.

DO NOT WAIT!

In the middle of enjoying the Wisconsin State Fair, this message appeared in my coffee cup. My mother, whom I was with, noted what a powerful reminder that was.

All too often we wait for later, tomorrow or next year to have a good morning, afternoon or evening. It is important to remember that one day it will be your last one. Crazy part is that you may not know that it will be the last.

That means right now is the best time to have a good morning, afternoon or evening. Make a life having as many good moments as you can! When the end does come, at least it will come with little to no regret.

THERE IS NO THIRD OPTION

Let me begin by saying this is not gender specific. It is also not just for intimate relationships. In our life, our relationships should be something that serves us. That is not to say that we should keep a “what’s on it for me?” Attitude. Still, why have someone in your life that brings nothing to the table? Worse, why have someone in your life that drains you or your energy?

Think about yourself and what you bring to the relationships in your life? Are you helpful? Are you a good listener? Do you encourage your friends? What do you bring to the relationships? If you can’t think of anything, you might want to work on that.

It can be helpful to look at the relationships you have in your life and both identify and appreciate what they add to your life. If you can’t think of anything, you might want ask why you are spending your time and energy in those relationships. Is it out of guilt? Maybe it might be time to let them go. At the very least spend more time with those who add to your life.

A NEW WAY TO LOOK AT IT

Discipline is one of the words that I think we are taught incorrectly. When we are growing up Discipline is taught as something that happens to us of we misbehave. We get disciplined. At best it is used to convince us that we need to do things we might not want to do such as study or clean our room.

What we seldom, if ever, are told is that discipline leads to freedom. Discipline is the key to our success. When we have goals and things we want to accomplish in life, it is discipline that is the key. Here is the crazy part. As we grow older we think there is no punishment if we are not disciplined.

You might think as an adult you are free to act as you see fit. That is true to some extent. What you are not free from is the consequences of those actions. When you cease to remain disciplined as an adult, it is you who suffers. It is you who will not reach the goal you are working towards. It is true your family and friends may suffer as a result. Lack of discipline, however, is really a betrayal of yourself.

NEVER WRESTLE WITH A PIG 🐖

An amusing quote for sure, but one that has a powerful meaning. It is not really about the hoofed animal, but the people who are actually below even them. We are talking about those folks who spend their time gossiping, going behind people’s back, lying and just operating as disrespectful humans.

Just as a pig is home in the mud, these people are at home in despicable behavior. When we try match them in deplorable actions, not only are they more experienced, but we reduce our character by our attempt to emulate them.

When you see someone engage in petty or underhanded behavior, just say to yourself, “another pig in the mud.” Then, move on making sure you rise above their behavior.

*we apologize to any pigs that were offended by these comparisons*