Tag: Self-Help

LOVE YOUR BEAUTIFUL LITTLE WEIRDO SELF

There is a point in the journey of self-improvement that is very difficult. With some irony, it is not the beginning. It is when you are well into your journey. You have begun making some changes in your habits and behaviors. Maybe you have seen some improvement, but certainly your life has not yet changed to the degree you were hoping for. Here is the challenging part. The people you used to surround yourself with, who may still be living a life much like the one you were trying to leave behind, do not really feel right to hang around with anymore. Maybe they want to go out for cocktails every night while you are focused on getting up early to hit the gym before work. Maybe they are discussing gossip and the ‘who is doing who’ while you want to discuss something new you have learned about the law of attraction. They call you weird or lame. Sometimes they may actively start to avoid you because your efforts to become better shine a spotlight on their lack of effort. They may not even do this consciously.

The worst part is that you have been not doing this long enough to have found your new group of people who are working to improve themselves. The ones who will both accept and encourage your efforts. You are in a purgatory of sorts. Not where you used to be, but not yet where you wish to go. This is where the temptation to give up and go back to that old crowd so you can feel like you belong is the strongest. You feel like an outcast or a weirdo. Here is what I can tell you. Any of us who have traveled the journey to better ourselves have faced this period. It can feel lonely. It can feel awkward. Trust the process. You will find yourself surrounded by like-minded people soon enough. Keep your head high. Most importantly, fall in love with yourself and the brave journey you are on! Do not give up on all of your efforts.

While you wait for this time to pass, do not forget how many resources are out there. There may be local groups that meet to discuss self-improvement ideas. Cannot find any? There are plenty of online communities that do so. Begin to comment and engage on here and you will find like-minded souls! After all, we are in over 200 countries. Sometimes someone in the online community can lead you to a physical group to hook up with. Just fall in love with who you are right now while keeping the focus on who you will become! You are a beautiful soul now, and you are only getting better and brighter!

DO YOU KNOW THE STRANGEST SECRET?

Do you know who Earl Nightingale is? If not, I highly recommend looking him up. Not only the man himself, who did amazing things, but his works as well. They are many common sense advice to help you really excel at life. No complicated jargon. No new-age theory. Just common sense, easy to understand tools and strategies that can assist you in becoming the best version of yourself. So if you are a person, like myself, who is always looking to better your best, follow the advice of Earl Nightingale.

The work I would recommend you start with is titled The Strangest Secret. It is a roughly 30 minute audio clip that explains just how, as stated in the photo above, we become what we think about. Have you stopped and thought about this? The thoughts we entertain determine the actions we take. The actions we take determine the outcome of our life. This does not mean you sit in your home and think about being a success and it will come to you. Not at all. What it breaks down to is if you think positive thoughts, you will generally take positive actions. If you think the world is against you and there is not use in trying, you are not going to persist in the actions needed to succeed. Especially when challenges appear.

Are you aware that 95% of our thoughts are both subconscious and repetitive? That means we are barely aware of what we are thinking and it is mostly the same thoughts we had yesterday. The scary part is that 80% of our internal dialogue is negative. As you can see, leaving your brain on autopilot, which is what most people do, can limit us in such a dramatic fashion? The secret is to take control of our thoughts. Make them conscious! Make them positive! Take the inspired action they lead to! A great formula for doing so can be found by listening to the strangest secret. Take 30 minutes out of your day to give it a listen. You will be in possession of the strangest secret. What you do with it is up to you.

WHEN SUCCESS MEANS MORE

This post comes out on a Monday. A day many of us, myself included, struggle with on occasion. You wake up early than you would like. You drive in traffic to some place you would rather not be to work with people, many of which you would rather not spend your time with. It can all seem rather pointless. In many ways, it provides great motivation to do something more aligned with your soul. Around lunch time, many of us can find ourselves sighing and asking, “What is it all for?” That is a very important and powerful question.

The picture above gives us a very important answer. Whether that is your career or any other aspect of your life, the reason why we do what we do is infinitely more important than what we get out of doing it. One of the most important reasons is to bring joy to those you love. Perhaps you have a family or a loving spouse at home? Your long hours, hard work and sacrifices can afford you the ability to put a smile on their face. Before you think it is just money to keep the lights on and a roof over their heads, which is important, let me give you another avenue to ponder.

Another way in which you put a smile on face of those who have sacrificed for you, whether that is your parents, your family or those who believe in you, is to become the best version of yourself. Becoming a ‘success’ can be defined in many different ways. That can becoming a helpful and compassionate individual. It certainly can be achieving a certain status or material level. It can also be facing and overcoming your personal demons. This could be overcoming temptation to improve your health. It could be overcoming an addiction. There are a million ways in which you can make those who have sacrificed for you smile. The hours your family have missed you while you toil at the office or on the job site. Think of all the ways people have sacrificed for you. You owe it to them, and to yourself, to give it your all and become the best version of yourself.

WHERE THE LIFE YOU SEEK IS HIDDEN

This should be no secret. The life you seek is hidden in the discipline you avoid. We spend so much time dreaming of the life we are hoping to achieve. If we dedicated only a fraction of that time to consistent action, we would be so much closer to achieving that life. We trade long-term achievement for short-term comfort. Where is the body you want? It is in the discipline of meal prepping and saying no to the free doughnuts in the break broom. Where is the great cardiovascular system and strong body you desire? It is in the discipline of going to the gym. The bank account that allows you to sleep peaceful at night? It is in the discipline of saving and forgoing spending on foolish pleasures. How about the blissful family? It is in the discipline of having the hard conversations and working on the communication to prevent further stress.

Each one of these seems like common sense. If we know all of this, how come we do not have health, wealth and happiness? It is because many of us lack the discipline. That is not entirely our fault. When you hear the word discipline, what comes to your mind? Usually, it is either punishment or long laborious hours of hard work. While the second may be part of it, discipline is not punishment. In fact, I would argue that discipline is the key to unlock many of the secrets of success.

In a world where we are looking for ‘hacks’ and ‘quick fixes’, discipline seems like an old-fashioned idea. Attention spans have shortened and that is why so many of us find ourselves struggling. Discipline is the answer to so many of our challenges. If you go to the gym, work out one time, you will notice nothing. If you go for a week, you may only notice some sore and rebellious muscles. Go for 6 months straight and you will begin to see the power of discipline. How many people do you know that start working on improving some aspect of their life, quick a short time later and say it does not work? How about the people who start, maintain it for a short time, quit and then start again. On a constant loop. Not only do they not achieve success, they weaken both their discipline as well as their self-confidence with each failed attempt. If only they had stuck with it, they would have found the life they seek.

SOME PEOPLE WILL NEVER LIKE YOU

Here is a sad truth most of us have a hard time grasping – some people may never like you. It could be jealousy, envy, racism, or a host of other issues. There are people in my life that I have never even met that do not like me. When your writing is viewed in over 200 countries, it is difficult not to offend the likes of some. There is a gent that is offended by my sharing of anything hopeful or optimistic. He claims that is giving people a false sense of hope. Perhaps this gent would prefer a world filled with dark and depressing material. To him I say, feel free to turn on the news my good friend. At my day job there are people who dislike me because I am upbeat most of the time. That tends to offend them.

With social media there is a world filled with ‘keyboard rangers’, that is people who say things they would not dare say in person because they feel safe behind a keyboard. With this being the case, you are bound to encounter people who will dislike you because, as the picture states, your spirit will irritate their demons. Knowing this, I hope will help you shrug off their insults or attacks as just what they are – their opinions. Do not let them change your beautiful spirit. More on that next post.

WALK THIS WAY

Not only is the title of this blog the same as one of my favorite songs by the band Aerosmith, but that song happened to be inspired from a line in one of my favorite movies (Young Frankenstein). This blog has nothing to do with Steven Tyler or Mel Brooks however. Instead, it is a change in both mindset as well as the way we carry ourselves.

I imagine many of you who read the words in the photo above dismissed it as some ‘new-age nonsense’. In order to prove to you that there is scientific, as well as personal, proof behind this, allow me to ask you a question. This question I learned from a Tony Robbins talk. It opened up such an interesting paradigm shift, it became an entire section in my second book, Living the Dream. The question is this, “For a million dollars, if I asked you to describe a depressed person sitting behind a closed door, could you do it?” Would their posture be erect or would they be slumped over? Would their eyes be bright and looking up or would they be staring at the floor? Would their movements be energetic or slow and plodding?

How did you know all of those facts about a depressed person that you have never seen? Have you ever been depressed? Chances are your physical stature was much the same. That is because our physical presence can affect our emotions. That is why walking the way that is suggested in the photo above makes so much sense. If we walk around with our head down, dragging our feet and with no enthusiasm, how do you think we will feel? How many people do you know that this is their default state? Have you ever stop to think about this?

Yes, walking around like you have just heard the best news of your life, picturing everything working in your favor may get you some curious looks. That is fine. People can be uncomfortable with something that is different. After a while, do you know what starts to happen? People begin to gravitate towards you. Who would not want to be around someone who carries themselves that way? To, of course, the obvious way this will affect your mood. Life really is about how we feel. If there exists ways in which we can positively affect that, why not make use of them? Here is what happens when your mood is elevated. Your immune system functions better. Your mind is more open to opportunity. When stress comes your way, you will be in far better position to handle it than if you were already depressed when it arrived.

If you would like a more in-depth description of how this works, along with more tools and strategies to improve your life, please check out my book, Living the Dream by Neil Panosian. Available wherever fine books are sold.

STOP WISHING YOUR LIFE WAS BETTER

What an uninspiring title! Shouldn’t we wish our lives were better? I do suppose the title could have read ‘Do not just wish your life was better’. What we are proposing here is not sitting back and constantly lamenting our life is not all that we desire it to be. Instead, turning that desire into action! Wishing your life was better without taking any action is little better than whining.

What if you do not know what action to take? It is my desire to be a best-selling author. Until that happens, I will continue to work on improving every aspect of my writing and do my best to get it into the hands and minds of as many people as I can. It is also important to work on ourselves. Continuing to improve as many aspects of our person as we are able. Becoming the best version of ourselves is a journey without a finish line. That means there are always ways in which we can better our best. That should excite you. This means there is the possibility for your life to improve in ways in which we have not even considered.

If you find yourself wishing your life was better but not taking any action to make it so, ask yourself why? Are you expecting your fairy godmother to come down and grant you a better life? This may sound a bit fantastical. That is because it is. There is no other way to improve your life than to take consisitent action in that direction. Make sure you do not fall into the trap of all talk and no action. Do not just wish your life was better. Make yourself, and your life, better through your actions.

BISON WISDOM

Here is an interesting change in mindset for us to consider. When facing challenges, perhaps leaning into them will help us get through them quicker. We have all procrastinated. We have all done our best to run from or avoid our problems all together. That usually leaves us living a life full of stress. Instead of having a difficult conversation, we spend our time avoiding someone. Instead of addressing our finances, we just do not look at the bank statement. Eventually, the time will come and all of the stress we experienced delaying or avoiding the problem will really be for nothing. It would be far better, and it would be over far sooner, if we faced the challenge head on.

Yes, this is often uncomfortable. What is the alternative? We are filled with stress thinking about and dreading the action until we cannot avoid it any longer? That is only extending the stress. Another great analogy is avoiding going to the dentist for a toothache. Sure, the dentist is the last place most of us, myself included, want to end up. Eventually, the pain will become too great and we will find ourself in the chair with a paper bib attached to us. A short while later, although it may seem like an eternity, the situation will be addressed. In a few days, the pain will likely be gone. All of that suffering we put ourselves through leading up to the appointment could have been avoided by leaning into the challenge and getting the tooth taken care of right away.

How about you? Is there something in your that would be over if you just turned around and faced it? There are times when we do need to rest and recover. That is different than running from a challenge. Most times, the best course of action is to do as the bison do and face the storm head on. It will help us get through it a lot quicker and with a lot less stress.

ADVICE TO A FRIEND

Here is a real-life situation that I wanted to share because it affects a lot of us. Your situation may not be exactly the same, but I bet you can relate in some form or fashion. A gentleman at work asked if he could run something by me that he was dealing with. Always happy to help a friend I quickly said “Yes.” He told me his brother discovered his wife had been cheating on him, was planning to leave him. That of course made him feel worthless and in this case he was thinking of all kinds of unpleasant ways of dealing with the situation.

This friend was very concerned for his brother and could relate. He said that he had tried talking to his brother, but feeling as he did, his brother did not want to talk to anyone. In a desperate situation, he asked me what I would do. Here was my best advice. I asked what his brother was good at. He told me his brother was an expert on music trivia. I told him to tell his brother he had a music question and he knew he was exactly the person who could help him with it. This would do several things for his brother. First, it would help him realize that he did have skills and value. Sure, music trivia may seem insignificant, but when you are feeling useless, anything helps. Second, it will give his brother an opportunity to help someone. This will give a feeling of purpose and value as well. In addition, by giving help, he may feel a little more comfortable asking for help. It would help ‘balance the scales’ if you will. In thanking his brother for the help, it would also give his brother a sense of accomplishment. Letting him know that he did do something good for someone.

What would you have done in this situation? Have you ever found yourself in the same situation as my coworker, or maybe even as his brother? It is so important to know that we all have value. It may not be in the area we are currently wanting it to be, but we are very valuable just the same. The world would be a lot darker without us in it. When we are feeling down, we need to be reminded of all the good we can do. It may be as simple as helping others. Regaining that feeling of value and accomplishment.

On another note, this is why it is so important to remind all of the people in our lives of their value and importance. You never know when they will be hit by something that seems stronger than them. Everyone needs to be reminded of their strength. Think of someone you can do this for today. Do not wait until someone is hurting to remind them how special they are.

YOU AREN’T LAZY

Here is a modern-day problem. With all of the stimulation that we receive, it can be hard to discipline our minds. We can be pulled in a million different directions all at once. We are trying to keep up with our work, our friends in person and on social media, the family and the pile of laundry that seems to grow by the day. We want to get healthier, wealthier and more inner peace. Why does none of this seem to happen?

The answer is in the photo above. We are trying to accomplish too many things all at once. There is an old cliche that asks what happens if you hit a tree with an ax 1000 times in 1000 different places? Not much. What happens if you hit that same tree 1000 times in the same place? You cut the tree down. The same goes for your life. When I was growing up, we were sold the lie of multi-tasking. You are far better off giving your all to one thing at a time and moving on to the next to do the same thing. You will get more accomplished that half-assing a million things all at once. You will do a better job and it will get done quicker if you take them one at a time.

Not to mention, if we try to take everything on all at once, we will become overwhelmed and get nothing done. Then we will look at our lack of accomplishment and come to the conclusion we are just lazy. No. We are just unfocused.