Tag: Self-Help

THE COST OF YOUR DISTRACTIONS

Have you ever thought of the cost of your distractions? What has that harmless scrolling really cost you? What started as a quick ‘5 minute scroll’ ended up having you hooked for hours. How about binging television shows? You think you will watch just one episode and suddenly your day is over. I hear lots of people justifying this behavior as “I just need to relax.” or “Well I have earned it.” Do not get me wrong, I am not one of those hustle until you die kind of people. Still, we must asking what we could have been doing during that time we were giving to our distractions.

Is it more fun to watch Netflix than clean the house? Undoubtedly. When you put off obligations for pleasures, you still have the stress of undone obligations. It is not just household chores that miss getting done. You could be taking actions that would increase the quality of your health, or your career, or your relationship? That one hour you spent watching videos of cats that look like pop tarts could have been invested in turning your hobby into a business that could add a stream of income. Thinking of ideas to increase the love of you and your partner could have a much greater impact on your life than finding out what the Kardashians are doing.

Do not think wasting one hour a day is such a big deal? If you only waste one hour a day, only on the weekdays, that comes out to 260 hours a week. That is a full 6 and a half 40 hour working weeks you could have invested in bettering your life. Instead of focusing on the pleasure of these mindless distractions, ask yourself what they are costing you. Think of the productive things you could have done with that time.

YOUR WORLD CAN BE BETTER!

In today’s crazy world we are always searching for ways in which we can make our life better. This quote contributed to Confucius is one way. As humans, we are rather predisposed to focus on what needs to be ‘fixed’ in both our lives and the world at large. These days that list has grown rather long. Focusing on these things, especially those we have no control over, can leave us feeling overwhelmed at best and downright depressed at worst.

It is important to look at what needs to be fixed. Especially in our own lives. To be constantly fixated on these events will drain our energy and deplete us emotionally. We need to be motivated and healed by noticing all of the good that surrounds us every day. When we focus on what is good, we notice more of what is good. We begin to see that there is reason to have faith in both the world and the human race. This is important to make sure that we do not let the negative element to win control of our mind and the world at large.

Yes, notice what has to be fixed. Then be thankful and recognize that you do not have to fix everything. Stop to reflect on the beauty and kindness that still exists in this world. Do yourself a favor and remember to keep your mind on the good, even while trying to address the things that are troubling you.

BEING GREAT

Today in the United States we celebrate Martin Luther King Jr. day. It is only fitting that we start off with a quote from the man himself. My favorite thing about this quote is that it is a simple, yet effective formula for success. Many people view becoming successful in terms of grand events. Winning the lottery, getting that promotion, losing all the weight they want or whatever they view to be successful. Being great, or successful, is not that complicated.

Take a look at the examples above. Winning the lottery? How about saving or investing the money we would have spent foolishly? Getting that promotion? While we are working to make that happen, we should be doing the best we can at the job we currently have. Putting in a hard days work, whether we are acknowledged for it or not, is being great. How about losing weight? That seems to be on a lot of people’s minds now. It is admirable to be healthy, but understand that even the small things we do will make us great. Saying ‘no’ to the doughnuts in the breakroom is great. Going for a walk after dinner when all we want to do is lay down, that is great.

Doing the ‘small’ things greatly is what prepares us for when the big things arise. If we work to keep our studio apartment in order, guess what will happen when we move into that mansion? If we keep working on passing on the doughnuts, or maybe adding healthy meals to our plate, eventually we will start losing that weight. We are a success long before we reach our goal weight. We are great every time we do not give into temptation. We should celebrate every small step on the way to greatness and make sure we do each one to the best of our ability.

FALL IN LOVE WITH LIFE BY LAURA

This post could have easily been credited to my mother, or of course Lao Tzu as they both advocate this message. It was my coworker and friend Laura who gave me the answer most recently. When I asked her what she thinks is the key to falling in love with life, her eyes lit up as she recalled a conversation she had with her son recently. As her son watched her become upset and anxious, he informed her that she needed to stop worrying so greatly about the future and focus more on being present. How many of us could use that advice?

It is easy to tell someone not to worry about the future, but how can we do that? If we study the quote above, it makes things crystal clear. Focusing our energy in the past, which cannot be changed, is a waste of our precious energy. Worry about the future, which has not happened and may never happen, is a good deal of wasted energy as well. The more we are worried about the future, the more that should drive us to be present. Why? The only thing we have that can affect the future is the actions we take in the present. If those actions amount to nothing other than sitting on our hands and worrying, we will not have much of an impact at all.

Lowering stress and increasing drive are two great reasons to be present. They are also two ways to love life more. The picture above highlights what I think is the greatest reason to focus on the present. If you are too worried about the past of the future, you often miss both the beauty and the opportunity in the present. Look at the dog fully immersed in what is happening. He is probably enjoying the woods, the man’s company and surely a squirrel or two. The man may not even realize he is in the woods or that the dog is next to him. The closer we come to a calm mind, the better we are positioned to take advantage of all life is offering us in the present. Whether that is a job opportunity or just a squirrel.

Laura, my mother and Lao Tzu are all right. Being present is one great way to fall back in love with your life. There are so many miracles that we miss every day. Simply being alive and able to breathe is a miracle in itself. By transferring our concerns about the future into motivation for the present and insuring we remain fully engaged in that present are two great ways to fall in love with life. How would you answer the question, “What would you tell someone to do if that wanted to fall in love with life?”

FALL IN LOVE WITH LIFE BY JONATHAN

My next book will be filled with tools and strategies to fall in love with your life. It is with this in mind I have been asking others that very question, “What would you say is the key to falling in love with life?” Today, we are going to look at the answer given me by my coworker Jonathan. It has some great points and it just may help you fall in love with your life a little bit more. Come join me in exploring Jonathan’s answer.

To start, this is a two-part answer. The first thing that Jonathan mentioned was that people need to take care of their necessities. When I pressed him as to why he thought this was so important, he told me that unless your food, shelter and clothing are taken care of, it is hard to focus on what gives you joy. Your mind will always be in survival mode. It is true that if you lost your job or your home, meditation would not be the first thing on your mind. We must make sure our basic needs are met.

The second half of his answer was even more profound. He said it was important to spend time and energy on what makes you happy despite what others may think. He used the example of collecting comic books. If people tell you that hobby is “stupid” or “nerdy”, do it anyway. If what you enjoy brings joy to your soul and does not harm anyone else, pursue it. Sacrificing what we really enjoy to impress others, or even to not offend them, leads to resentment and anger. These feelings are not only projected at others, but at ourselves for denying our joy at the judgement of others.

Do what Jonathan advocates. Take actions to make sure the necessities of life are under control. After that do what sparks joy in your heart and do not worry about the opinions of others.

WEEKEND PONDERING…

This quote from Epictetus really makes it simple. For those of you who do not know, Epictetus was a slave before becoming a philosopher. That is certainly an auspicious start of there ever was one.

Picturing who you want to be is something we should do daily. Keep focused on the individual we wish to see looking back at us in the mirror. Myself, I wish to be staring back at a best-selling author who is changing people’s lives for the better and leaving the world a better place.

Once we get clear on exactly who we wish to be, the next step is thinking about what it will take to get there. Even if we do not know the exact steps to get there, we can focus on the traits this person would have. A best-selling author would write every day. They would focus on developing their craft and vocabulary. This is why, for the last 1300 days, you have seen a blog from me.

This weekend take some time to get clear about the kind of person you wish to be. This is not only professional, but personal as well. Do you wish to be more positive? More disciplined? Then decide what you have to do to get there. It would help to write it down and check in with yourself every morning. Maybe while looking in that mirror? Before long the person starting back at you will be the person you want to be!

IT IS NOT ONE MORE, IT IS ONE LESS

This is a change in mindset that could really motivate us. The funny thing is that it is the truth. Often, I use the hourglass as a metaphor for our life. The sand is always going from top to bottom. Just like the time in our life is always fleeting. This should motivate even those who procrastinate the most. You do not get ‘one more day’ on earth, you actually have one less. One less day to leave a meaningful legacy. One less day to love those closest to you. One less day to become the best version of who you can be.

Most of you who follow this blog know that I had a brief flirtation with death not all that long ago. In fact, I did die, but not to ruin the plot of my book, The Beat Goes On, but I came back. That whole experience certainly changed my outlook on life as you might imagine it would. The crazy part is that it was not the actual dying and coming back, but the time leading up to it that had the greatest impact on me. Knowing that in 2 months I would have a surgery that could end my life (I did not know it actually would briefly) was not a scary prospect in terms of me not being here. What really scared me is what I would, or in some cases would not, leave behind.

I thought of the Native American saying, “It is a good day to die.” Meaning that if your life were to end today, would you be happy with the life you lived up to that point? I realized that although I had turned around a great many aspects of my life that I had a long way to go to live a life that I would be at peace leaving. For one, I felt that I had not done enough to leave the world a better place. There was so much more content to create. There were more books to write, more videos to make, and of course more blogs to write. Since that day I have written a blog for nearly 1300 days straight. My fourth book will arrive in 2026. My podcast has moved to YouTube (See Living the Dream with Neil Panosian),

Every day we have one less opportunity. Some days may be tough, others may seem impossible. Even those days we must take advantage of. We must never miss an opportunity to show kindness or lighten the burden of another. We may never have the chance again. How many more opportunities will we have to tell, and more importantly show, those we love how much we care for them? Each day is one less chance. Make the most of today.

THE SECRET OF THE JOURNEY

Most of us have heard this saying. It has become almost cliche. What I want to point out at the start of the week, and the start of a new year is how powerful it can really be. Many people have the goal to regain their health in the new year. Many of these people haven’t put any thought into their health for at least 365 days. Their journey is 1000 miles long – metaphorically. What they must remember is just like walking a thousand miles, you cannot do it any other way than one step at a time.

Another great example is writing a book. After writing three of them you think I would have a great idea of how to stay motivated and disciplined. It may very well be the opposite. When I wrote my first book, A Happy Life for Busy People, I was ignorant to all of the challenges that go into writing a book. I could not dread the editing or formatting because I had never experienced them. Same with any other goal you have tried and failed. What we must focus on is the next step.

The reason I bring this up is because it is far easier to say than do. We must keep this saying in front of us as we make our journey. In walking a thousand miles, some steps will be easier than others. We will be tempted to give up sometimes and driven others. We must realize that each one is one step closer. As we start a new week and a new year, remember to take it one step at a time.

HOW TO THINK ABOUT YOURSELF

This quote is not only amusing, it is also very powerful! We may chuckle when we read it, but it does force us to confront a certain reality. That reality is often the smallest things can create the biggest changes. Think of Covid. That was a virus. Something so small it could not even be seen. Still, this small thing changed the entire world! It is not always a mosquito or virus. The same can be true with things in the positive. Think of how people change just by adopting one new habit. Taking the stairs instead of the elevator or giving up soda or alcohol. These are just one little habit, yet they create a big change in people.

Just as a mosquito is a seemingly small and insignificant creature, it can sure create an issue. A while back I shared a story about an employee at the coffee shop I write at. She came in on her off day and proceeded to hand out roses to every woman present. A nice, but not that grand gesture. I cannot be sure how it affected the other women, but I know it gave my mom a great deal of joy. Not sure how many flowers she handed out, or the cost of each individual one, but each one gave joy to the life of the person who received it.

You can do the same. You do not have to hand out flowers. It can be a smile, or a genuine compliment. What may seem insignificant to you can be nothing short of magic to the person receiving it. You, my dear reader, are keeper of magic beyond your imagination. With social media, YouTube and the closeness of the globe, you can impact lives with not only your actions, but your example. Are you striving to better yourself in the new year? Those watching can draw strength and motivation for you. Believe in yourself and your power to make a difference. You can give someone hope, peace and joy. That is nothing short of magic.

BUILD THE NEW!

This could not be more true than it is today. The world is a crazy place. That is something we can all agree on. Many people stand on the corner cursing out the way things are. Instead of that, why not try to focus on building things the way you wish them to be? Personally, I would love a world that is more tolerant, accepting and loving. Through these posts, and in my personal life, I do my best to be that.

I am not telling you to stand up against what you feel is wrong. Quite the contrary. What I am suggesting is to approach the situation with understanding, compassion and most importantly, a solution. One that does not marginalize or hurt others. One that is constructive and brings peace and positivity to the world. That is what is most important in these trying times. Build a world we love and celebrate.