Tag: Self-Help

YOU HAVE TWO CHOICES ✌️

This simple mindset shift transforms life. One feels good. One does not. One makes your life feel good. One does not not. Neither changes events, yet both change your reality. How can reality change if facts do not?

The reality we feel is seldom reality in actuality. Instead, it is a reality as viewed through the lens of our past experiences and our focus. The first we have little control over. The second we have absolute control over. In fact, the only way we can effectively change the past, is by changing the way we view it.

How we do this is simple. Have you had a tragic event in your life? You can view it as the trauma that prevents you from moving forward. Then again, you can view as the reason you developed such resilience. The facts didn’t change, just your response to them and the meaning you assigned them.

In a broader sense, the same applies to life. There are things that appear negative to us. We can choose to view them as so, or we can ask ourselves how we can use them. Can they teach us something? Can they remind us to be grateful for something else? Perhaps, like we mentioned earlier, they can help us be more resilient? The choice is ours. We cannot often change events, but we can change what we decide they mean to us and our reaction to them. More on this next post.

THE KEY TO MOTIVATED LIVING 💪

In a world filled with distractions, it can seem almost impossible to stay disciplined and motivated. What is the secret of those who can? There are books, seminars and endless conversations dedicated to this question. The quote above is the simple answer. It is your why. Does going to work seem like an impossible challenge? Try looking at a picture of your spouse or children whom you are earning money for. Think of how they would be impacted if you lost your job, or just stop showing up for work. That should put a little spring in your step.

The amazing thing about a why is that it can be positive or negative. Take getting in shape for example. On the positive side of things, you can imagine fitting into your favorite clothes and looking amazing as you walk into a party. That could motivate you so far. Negative motivation can be equally, and in some cases, even more powerful. Did you have to pass on a fun trip with your friends because you were too embarrassed to show up in a bathing suit to go swimming? Perhaps you did show up and felt mortified when people saw you? Feeling that sting of self-consciousness can help you do that extra rep that is needed. It is not about all about appearance. Everyone is beautiful in their own skin. What can be more powerful is feeling happy with yourself.

Speaking of feelings, how you impact others can be a strong why. Can you recall when you said something hurtful that broke someone’s heart? Remember how that felt? It can keep you from saying the first thing that comes to mind in a heated situation. How about the time you paid someone a genuine compliment and watch them light up? Isn’t that a great feeling? That feeling, and hit of feel good chemicals it triggers, can be a powerful why when it comes to being a good human to others.

The point of this post is to say that if you are having a hard time staying consistent with your self-improvement journeys, maybe it is time to take a hard look at your why. For something to be a priority in your life, there has to be a reason why it is. That reason must be stronger than distractions or temptations. If you are finding it difficult to stay on track, spend some moments focused on why it is important to you to take that action and stay disciplined. I would further suggest to get your thoughts down on paper. Use the carrot and the stick. Why is it important for you to take that action? What would be the result if you didn’t? Be honest with yourself. Seeing that in black and white could be the motivation you need to stay the course.

THE BEST FEELING IS A STEP 🚶‍♀️

Today, as this post is released, is a Sunday. Most people use this as a day of rest, or a day of worship. Both amazing things to dedicate a day to. Every Sunday night, many people start feeling a familiar knot in their stomach. That dread of another work week approaching. How can we finally get rid of that feeling for good? It starts the day before. It starts on Sunday.

One way to start feeling good is to take that first step. The step towards living the life of your dreams. It could be setting up a savings account. One way is to begin typing words on that book you have always wanted to write. They don’t have to be the perfect words. Trust me when I tell you as a three time author, they may not even end up in the book at all. It is in taking the action that you get that feeling. Motion equals emotion. Yes, it feels great to be on the top of the mountain, but do you know what else feels great? Taking the first step in climbing that mountain. Knowing you are on your way to accomplishing something great.

One of the areas that people overlook is the first step in a journey. It could be the journey of becoming a better spouse or parent. It could be the journey of becoming healthier or more full of inner peace. These are journeys that do not have a finish line, or a top of the mountain to reach. Knowing that you have taken the first step on a life-long journey that will positively transform your life is an amazing feeling. What action can you take today to begin a positive journey?

NEVER STOP BEING THAT PERSON 💯

Here is something that rings true. You will never know the effect of every bit of kindness you have shown. This should not stop you from being kind. On the contrary. It should encourage you to know that you positively impact far more lives than you will ever know. Your actions, be they good or bad, can have a lingering impact years after they were committed.

Knowing that what you say or do can affect people’s lives for years, if not longer, should motivate you to be the best human you can. That small word of encouragement could help someone make it through a trying time years down the road. That harsh criticism can prevent someone from becoming all that they could be.

Knowing this, we should plant all the seeds of kindness, compassion and encouragement we can. We should do so to as many people as we can. We should also guard against speaking negative unless it is absolutely necessary. We make a difference whether we know it or not. Let us make sure it is a good one.

MY HAPPY DAY! 😃🍉🍍😊

Happy first day is summer to my friends in the northern hemisphere! This is my favorite day of the year. I am definitely a summer person. Love the sun and the warm weather.

Today is supposed to be the ‘longest day of the year’. Meaning that the sun rises the earliest and sets the latest. That kind of reminds me of life. We all have the same 24 hours. What determines the quality of our life is what we do with them. Is there more sunshine (positive and productive activity) or is it more darkness (negative and wasted energy).

Today, let the first day of summer remind us to have as much light and positivity in our 24 hours as we can!

CONVINCE YOURSELF! 😮

We are all worthy of a good life. Me, you, even the guy who cut you off in traffic. OK, we might not want to wish him a good life at the moment, but I’m sure he deserves one too.

When we convince ourselves that we are worthy of a good life we act differently. We  set boundaries and practice self-care. We take better care of our health and focus on the long-term goal instead of the short-term pleasure. We are also far more likely to treat others with respect and compassion.

How do we convince ourselves we are worthy of a good life? We earn it. How do we earn it? By keeping our word to others, and even more importantly, keeping our word to ourselves. When we say what we are going to do and then follow that up by doing what we say, we earn well-deserved pride. Self-discipline is the greatest source of self-love.

Convince yourself that you are worthy of a good life today! Keep your word. Stay disciplined. Treat others with compassion and kindness. That good life will be yours in no time at all!

ARE YOU PLANTING A TREE? 🌳

This is a quote from one of my favorite poets. It sheds light on a very important way to live your life. In my second book, a corresponding YouTube video, I encourage people to write their own eulogy. Not only as a reminder that life is fleeting, and you should live with a sense of urgency, but because it will help them better clarify what they want their legacy to be.

A eulogy is what people will say about you after you die. Sadly, if it is a good speech, you will not be there to hear it. You do have a great amount of control of what it will contain. What do you want yours to say? Do you want them to say you were a leader of your family? Are you currently acting like one? How about a loving partner? A hard worker?

One you decide how you want to be remembered, you can start working towards earning that eulogy. Meaning you are living in such a way that people will say kind things about you long after you are gone. Put another way, you are planting a tree you will never sit under.

DO NOT GET STUCK

Remember my friends, as the week begins, focus on what we have to be grateful for. If something disturbs our peace, learn from it and let it go.

WHAT DECIDES YOUR FUTURE?

I am not sure what a man fighting a lion has to do with this quote. Maybe he made a habit of fighting lions. Seems like that habit would lead to a fairly short life. That does reflect the point we are attempting to make here. The man may not actively choose a short life and quick death, but by choosing a habit of fighting lions, in a way he is.

The decisions we make in life decide our future. Do we make a decision to pursue comfort at any cost? If so, it would be highly unlikely that we will accomplish anything to great. Truly worthwhile goals require discipline, sacrifice and consistency. Even if our intentions are noble, if our habits are not it will amount to very little. When life gets tough we do not rise to our ambitions, we fall back to our habits.

Most of us would like to be successful in life. Success too is a habit. You cannot strive to be a success in one area while being lazy in others. If you are a person who drops trash in the ground and doesn’t pick it up, chances are you will not be able to maintain a high standard in areas of life you deem more important.

Take a hard look at your habits. What kind of future are they going to deliver for you? If it is not the future you want, what habits could you adopt now to change that?

2 RULES OF THE SPIRITUAL PATH ✨️

I love things that are simple. This is one of those things. When following any spiritual path, these 2 rules should apply. First, you obviously must begin. Dedication to a spiritual path does not need to involve some fancy ritual. It takes place inside of you. Sure, you could go to a secluded place in the woods to meditate, but that is not necessary. A commitment to a new spiritual path, or recommitmemt to a path, can just as easily happen while riding a city bus on the way to work. Neither one is more powerful than the other. The power comes from the commitment in your heart.

Second, you must continue. When you truly dedicate yourself to a spiritual way of being, it is not a if/when proposition. You adhere to the principles of your path whether it is sunny or not. It does not matter if you are dealing with another spiritual person, or someone less-informed. You also continue even if that less-informed person is you. We all stumble. Being spiritual does not mean being perfect. It means being committed. Even if you are imperfect 

Being truly enlightened means understanding that you will stray from the path and occasionally not live up to your standards. It means both giving yourself a little pain when you do, but also being able to forgive yourself and learn from it.

These 2 rules are very important on any journey. You must begin and you must continue.