WHY I DO WHAT I DO

One question I get a lot is why do you keep studying. Why do you keep reading books on improving yourself and motivation when that is what you write/teach? In fact, I had a person that was very close to me ask me, “Why do you read books on relating to people when you do that so well? Why do you listen to how to start a conversation, when you are the best at talking to people?”. The answer is in the question itself. They actually had it backwards. I can talk and relate to people because I do study material. I am only good at what I do because I never stop learning. So if I have found things that work, why am I still looking for other things that work? Very good question. Here is the answer. Upgrade. What do I mean by upgrade? There are always secrets and tools I do not know about. I am continually facing new struggles and there are people who may have faced them before that could offer a unique insight.

So here is what I suggest to you. Whatever your passion is, whatever you are working on, read about it. Study like you are new. Get around people in the same field. I routinely chat with a fellow who also has a blog on positivity as well as a fellow who just started a motivational Facebook page. Treezy and Nick have taught me a lot and have both given me fresh perspectives. Even talking with people who are not necessarily in your field can pay off. My lovely lady Margie designs cakes, I do not. My cakes resemble a young child’s art project. Still, I can ask my lady what she does to stay motivated and keep to her high standards. I can then use that to apply to my work in the self-improvement/motivation field. Winners are winners no matter what their chosen field and all of them use certain practices whether they know it or not.

One more reason I keep learning and working. I want to reach as many people as possible. The more ways I learn to do so and the more I put myself out there the more people I will reach. I know myself I can hear the same message several times and it finally clicks if it is said in just the right way, or maybe it is just the right time for me to hear it. So I shall continue to keep working and learning. I welcome you to do the same. You never know what you will discover.

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CLEAN YOUR FILTERS BEFORE SPRING

This is a quote from Michael Bernard Beckwith, one of my favorite inspirational authors and speakers. Here is what I get from this. Filters, what are they? Well in a furnace they trap dirt and other things from getting through. In cameras whether video or still, they change the way we look at things. So now we have a clear idea of what filters are. How does all of this affect our lives?

Here is the thing, filters in life, what are they? In short, experiences. You have a powerful experience in colors the way you see life from that point forward. If you were in a relationship and there was a lot of dishonesty that you ended up being hurt by, in the future you may be less likely to trust. In fact, you may see dishonesty where there is none. This as you can imagine, can cause great problems for any new relationships. So like a camera filter it can totally color the way you see the world. If you put a red filter over a camera lens everything looks different. If you look through the filter of past hurts and dishonesty the world looks different than it may actually be.

Here is something else that can act as a filter, belief systems. If you were raised in a certain spiritual belief system you may not understand or accept others. Worse yet, if you were raised with certain prejudices you may have beliefs or dislikes for certain groups of people. This could act like a furnace filter mentioned above. It could trap things from getting through to you. Say you were raised to believe people with red hair were not smart. Then any idea you receive from a person with red hair you would dismiss. This could result in you missing out on a lot of good ideas.

Ok, but filters can also be good. The furnace filter mentioned above traps impurities, which serve as a good thing. I do my best to have a filter in my life against negativity, gossip and judgment. Working with the public, especially in places where alcohol is being served that filter can trap and stop a lot of those impurities and become less effective. So I am going to have to replace or clean that filter. How do we do this? That is a topic we will address in an upcoming post. Until then, look at your own filters. Are there any coloring your world in a negative way? Are there some you could add to color your world in a positive way? Do some need cleaning? Feel free to share any ideas you have for doing so in the comments so are other readers can do so as well. While you are in a sharing mood feel free to share this post in any way you see fit. Thank you for reading and sharing.

THE KEY TO EVERYTHING

People often ask me what the secret to happiness is. They say they have looked for it everywhere. Some even tell me when they are going to be happy. You know the syndrome, “I’ll be happy when…”. These people fail to miss the big point here. Happiness is not a destination, it is a decision. This occurred to me while I was at the gym the other day. In my seminars I teach people that happiness is like working out. If you are in great shape and you stop, you do not stay in the same shape you start to decline. The same is true for happiness. Happiness is a lifestyle. Then something else occurred to me, so are a lot of things in life. Success, as the famous Earl Nightingale said success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal. Notice the word ‘progressive’ once you decide, you are a success. The moment you make a committed decision your whole life changes. The moment you say to yourself “I am committed to being happy from this day forward” the universe begins to work with you. Think of anything in life, if you have a successful business and you just stop working at it that business will begin to suffer and decline until it is no more. If you achieve a great position in your company and you stop working you will not have that position for long. Another great thing I have learned is how this translates to the world of relationships. Even if you find yourself in a very healthy and loving relationship if you stop working at it and putting effort in, that relationship will begin to deteriorate.

So the good and bad news is this. There is no place you can get to where things will be ‘done’ and you no longer have to do anything. How is that good news? When you realize nothing is permanent you cherish the joy in life more and you are aware even the toughest times will not last. So today make a decision on what you want to be. Do you want to be happy? Do you want to be successful? Then decide it shall be so and keep acting on it until you are there. Once you arrive be thankful for what you have and begin to discover ways to keep it going. Celebrate the destinations to be sure, but more importantly enjoy the journey.

If you enjoyed what you have read here, please feel free to share this post on your social media page and tell all of your friends. Let’s spread the word of positivity together.

MY LEAST FAVORITE WORD

Anyone who has spent a good deal of time with me, especially my lovely and patient lady, knows there is one word I despise. That word, as you may have guessed from the picture above is ‘try’. Why do I dislike the word ‘try’ so much? Because it weakens us. What do I mean by this? Often people discount the power of the words they use. I have seen this in many situations. Say these two statements out loud. Don’t worry if you are in public, let people wonder. OK, if you are to uncomfortable you can even say them to yourself, but it does drive the point home better out loud. First say “I will try to be healthier in the coming year”. How does that feel? Now, say “I am determined to be healthy this year no matter what it takes”. Feel different? The first one seems to offer a one time shot at something. You will “try” it. If it doesn’t work, well you gave it a shot. The second focuses more on the goal than on the actual act of accomplishing it. If I were to try and become a successful author I may do one or two things and then give up and resign my life to working at the Postal Service. If I am determined to become a best selling author no matter what, than I will keep doing things until I find one that works and reach my goal.

So this coming weekend look for ‘weak’ words in your vocabulary. Limit your use of words such as try, wish, want, and hope. Become determined. Do not give yourself a way out. Remember the sage advice of the Jedi master in the picture above “Do, or do not. There is no try”

Oh, and on a side note. If you would like to assist me in my quest to become a bestselling author and wish to give yourself a great gift, feel free to check out my book A Happy Life for Busy People Aslo feel free to share this post with all of your friends and Facebook followers. Empower them as well.

TRUE GREATNESS

Let me ask you a question, who do you like to be around? More to the point, what qualities do the people you like to be around the most have? I can tell you what people seem to be a challenge for me. See if you share the same opinions. Being in the customer service industry I have seen my fair share of different people. We all have certain things that tend to bother us more than others. Personally, I am not a fan of negative people. This can fit a few different people. I do not like people I say suffer from the “eyeore syndrome” So named after the loveable character in Winnie the Pooh. (Of which it may be noted I am a big fan) You know the souls who can always see the thunderstorm in any rainbow. It seems if you are full of joy they can find a way to damper it. If you are having a bad day they can bring you down even farther. Funny thing is a lot of these people have no desire to change. Some even wear their depression as a badge of honor. Also are judgmental people. Always finding something negative to say about everyone around them. I look at these people as adult bullies. Most of them are usually making up for a lack of confidence in themselves.

Enough about the people we would like to avoid. How about the people we love to hang around with? I have a friend who is rather financially well off. When we go out he insists on paying for everything. Seems like a sweet deal right? Seldom do I take him up on his offer. Why? You might ask. This is why. He makes a point to let me know how well off he is and when I offer to pay makes sure to remind me that I am not as well off. I have another friend who is not as well off. She always has a joke, loves to take silly pictures and tells me how amazing the people she knows are. When I leave the first person I don’t feel very good about myself even though they have treated me to a night out. Leaving the second person I feel not only good about myself, but about life in general.

What this has taught me is one of the most attractive qualities is helping people see the beauty in themselves and the world around them. It has since become my mission statement. I encourage all of you to be the kind of person who makes others feel positive about the world we all share.

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LIKE NIKE, JUST DO IT!

We are all guilty of this. We have a great idea of something we can do or say that would make someone’s day. Perhaps sending them a check, or a gift. Then, life happens. We get caught up in the daily grind and by the time we remember it the moment has passed. Sometimes we haven’t forgotten at all. Sometimes we are waiting for the right resources to be able to give the ‘perfect gift of kindness’. Then the opportunity or sometimes even the person passes away. What I encourage everyone to do is pick 5 people. Just 5 random people in your life. Think of one small random act of kindness you can do for them RIGHT NOW. Can you send a card thanking them for being in your life? Maybe write them a short letter, or even an email if you don’t want to take the time. Just something to inspire a smile. Maybe you can post a little something to their social media page? Bring them a coffee at work? Invite them out for coffee? There are a million possibilities. All I ask is you put something into action. Feel free to leave your ideas, and even how it turned out in the comments below.

If this inspired you or you would like to see the ideas spread, feel free to share this with your friends, relatives and anyone who follows your social media. Working together we can make the world a more positive place!

WHAT DID YOU PLANT TODAY?

Last post we talked about planting seeds and how long they may take to sprout. What is a good question to begin asking yourself is “What am I planting?”. Quite often our focus depends on what is occurring in our life at the moment. If our life is going well we preoccupy ourselves with thoughts of all the good we have in our life and the good that is coming. We look forward to tomorrow and what is next. Then we hit a bump in the road. Something happens in our life to throw us off center. We then begin to focus our attention on that. We begin to see what it could all effect and how things might get even worse. One of the most difficult things to do, but one of the greatest powers I am learning to harness is living in action instead of reaction.

What do I mean by living in action instead of reaction? It is east to know and to practice things that will make our life successful when things are going well. It is easy to be happy when life is happy. You are simply reflecting your surroundings. You, in essence, are being a mirror. So what happens when life goes south? When a ‘bad’ thing happens? Often it is hard to focus, things seem upside down.

So what should we do? Begin by writing down a vision of what you want your future to look like. Write down the good you are looking forward to coming in the next year. Then daily begin to spend about 2 to 5 minutes a day just imagining what it will be like. Don’t just picture it, but feel it. Keep this and a list of things you are grateful for handy. Each and every day make a habit to look at them ideally twice a day, once when you first get up, and again right before sleep that is when the brain is most suggestive. Then, when hard times hit and you are having a hard time picturing the good in life you will not only be in practice you will have a written script to help you as well.

As always if you enjoyed this post please feel free to share this on social media as well as tell your friends about secret2anamazinglife.com. Together we can make the world a better place for all of us.

THE GRAND SOLUTION

We all have times when life seems to be handing us lemons. Sometimes we can even question the purpose or meaning of it all. I know there are even times when we can feel useless. I know, I’ve been there myself. There is a grand solution that can not only help is during these times, but help others, and the world at large.

What is this solution? Before I tell you exactly let me assure you that everyone has access to this solution. In fact, the worse your life seems to be or the more unpleasant things you have been through the better you will be at this. OK enough of the hype, what is this solution that will help everyone including ourselves?

Altruism, that is helping others. If this sounds like an additional effort or some new age idea it really isn’t. It is easier than you may think and can be backed up by science. Allow me to explain. One of the best ways to help others is by sharing our story, our natural talents or just things we enjoy. Recently I have become friends with a wonderful lady named Ann. She shared with me some of her life experiences and asked me what direction she should go in. After only a few minutes of learning about her it was clear Ann had a lot to share. She overcame a weight issue, cared for a love one and learned a lot about health and fitness. I’m excited to say she is now sharing her story at AnnieOrganic her own website.
My beautiful lady Margie is another example of this. Her talents are too many to number and she is always eager to put them to good use. Whether she is making a cake for someone’s celebration, jewelry to compliment an outfit, or just lending a comforting ear to someone who needs it she is happy to share what she knows and help teach others.

So what if your thinking “I don’t have that kind of talent” trust me everyone has something. Have you every overcame a hardship in your life? Then you can share how you did it. Ever suffer a painful experience? Then you can comfort others and assure them they are not alone. Have a hobby you enjoy? Consider teaching others or joining a like minded group.

What does all this accomplish and how does it work? By helping others we give our life meaning and get outside of ourselves. It also helps us better understand ‘there is a reason for everything’ when seemingly negative things happen in your life, you will nite find yourself asking “how can I use this? ” and understand even in just sharing your experience can bring a sense of comfort and peace to someone else.
So next time life seems to be getting the better of you, get out and find a way to help someone else. Let’s face it, the world needs more of that.

A VERY IMPORTANT LESSON

This is a very powerful secret. Why it is a secret I’m not so sure. It is a lesson that is hard if learned too late. Let’s face it, we all get comfortable. Comfort in that fashion can be poison to a good relationship. When we first fall in love all of our thoughts are of that person. We see a flower and we think of their beauty. We see a park and we remember a walk in the park we just had with them, never mind that fact it is not even the same park. We find ourselves at the gas station or grocery store and can’t wait to pick them up a little surprise.

So what happens? Where does all this infatuation go? It is chipped away at by disagreements, the obligations of life, health and a million other factors that take us away from focusing on our love. There is another reason why love fades. Often people treat falling in love like going to school. Once you graduate, or in this case capture the heart of the one you love it’s over. Life begins to take over. It seems a million things call our attention everyday. A project at work needs our attention, lets get to it. Something around the house needs fixing, get to it. After all, your spouse is in love with you that is taken care of, right?

This is where things go wrong. We must look at our love more like working out, or eating healthy. If we go to the gym, work really hard and get in shape then just stop we don’t stay in shape, we begin to decline. Same is true in love. If you work hard, show patience, romance and all of your best traits to get the attention of the one you love and then stop it does not stay at that level. With Divorce rates over 50% it is clear that your spouse may not being willing to settle. This, in some fashion is a good thing. It means that it is more important than ever to keep investing in our relationships. So what can we do?

So what about all of this? What if you find yourself in that very position? Your relationship is starting to lose it’s fire? You find yourself closer to roommates than lovers? Do not fear, in some ways this makes it easier. Your spouse will not expect the little romance and love. Think of what your partner may need. Each person is unique, but in general women wish to know their partner finds them beautiful. They love to feel loved, safe and treasured. Men, on the other hand, like to feel desired, needed and like the most important person in your life. Lovers always like things that make them feel respected, admired and loved. If you let your partner know you are proud to have them by your side, if you can let others know in front of them even better, that will keep them by your side.

If you wish to have a relationship like when you first fell in love you have to do the things you did to have them fall in love with you. Assuming once a person falls in love with you, they will stay in love with you is one of the biggest relationship mistakes you can make. Try to win their heart everyday and I promise you will never lose it. This can be fun for both people. When you try to win the heart of a love you already have, that love only increases and magic literally enters your life. So have fun my romantic friends. Feel free to share any ideas with other readers of things you do to make your lover feel special.

MAKE SURE YOU ARE LOOKING FOR THE RIGHT THING

This is something that may be difficult for a lot of people. In fact, when you are under emotional distress it can be difficult for just about anyone, including an author/blog writer/postal worker. When you are having a disagreement the natural urge is to discover who is the one to blame for the upset. I have been guilty of this myself, if you don’t believe me I am sure my beautiful lady would back me up. Here is what I learned, Most of the time the fault is usually shared. Here is something else I have learned, finding out whose fault it is does little or nothing to fix the issue at hand.

So what should you be looking for? A solution, or as the picture above says, a remedy. Ask yourself this question, what would be the ultimate outcome? Let us say your spouse said something that really embarassed you in public. First of all, chances are they did not intend to do so, and if they did you may wish to question your choice of spouse. Now if you argue about whether it was their fault for saying it, or yours for not letting you know that won’t solve you feeling foolish. The ultimate goal here is to have your spouse know what bothers you and to hopefully have the situation not happen in the future.

This takes practice and trust me if you can try it first on an issue that is not so heated it works a lot better. Ask yourself what you would like to happen, what is your goal going forward? Then, ask yourself how you can best recruit your partners help in that matter. Here is a clue, saying “It is your fault” does not often lead to a feeling of cooperation. Rather let them know that you understand they did not mean to upset you and that you both would like to avoid that in the future. Then ask for their help in coming up with a solution. Having them involved creates a feeling of working together. Whether it is an intimate relationship, a friendship or even a coworker you are in this together and things work a lot better if you work together.
This works even better if you can begin by admitting your share of the fault to begin with. That takes the pressure off of everyone. It may also take the fire out of the arguement to some extent. It works even better if you are to follow it up with something like “I would like to work together to make sure we don’t have this problem in the future. What can I do on my end to help that?” To often we like to tell people what they should do, but in reality whether or not that will happen is up to them. Showing that you are willing to work on things on your side demonstrates good faith and a desire to clear up conflict.

So in the 2016 let us work to find remedies, not fault.

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