Working with the public both at the Post Office and at the bar I find myself mixed up in many different conversations. Most very intriguing and interesting, but some rather negative and not so pleasing. How many times have you found yourself telling someone about the job you applied for only to hear a 30 minute lesson on how bad the economy is? Now the reality of the financial state of things is interesting. Whenever we complain about something or just talk about ‘how bad it is’ not only do we leave feeling upset which does not help our personal situation, but we also give energy to the very situation we are lamenting. Perhaps you are wondering how can my opinion really effect change halfway around the world? The best analogy I have heard to explain this is place a drop of red ink in a glass of water. As hard as you may try it cannot stay separate. This is how our energy affects the world. The ink will certainly not make the whole glass red, but it will, without a doubt, change the chemical make up. Now imagine dropping three or four drops. Now maybe 10 or 20. You can see how a group of people standing around gossiping or complaining can really put a lot of negative energy out into the world. So what to do about it? Let’s face it at some point in time we are going to find ourselves wrapped up in one of these conversations. Here is 3 things we can do at that point. One, change the conversation to something more positive, or if that is unable to happen excuse yourself and walk away. Two, begin to develop ‘positive gossip sessions’ ask a group of friends or coworkers what their favorite place to go on vacation, or favorite childhood memory. Just keep the talk positive. Start throwing some good energy out there. Lastly, make a point to surround yourself with as many people who have positive attitudes as you can. I had lunch with my good friend Jamie the other day and even in discussing events that many would perceive as negative, she managed to find the positive side of them. These people are worth their weight in gold. Try to schedule as much time with them as you reasonably can. Better yet, try to be one of them yourself. You will be amazed at how much better you will feel and how much better your life and the world around you will seem!
Tag: Post Office
WHO THE HECK ARE YOU??
This may sound like a rather silly question. I hear lots of you saying “I’m Bob, I’m Mary”. No, that is your name. I am talking about your identity. Who we are is how we define ourselves. So I ask you again, who are you? Notice what is the first thing that comes to your mind? For a lot of us, it is our occupation. We may not realize it, but we often identify ourselves by where we work or what kind of work we do. Especially if we have done that job for a while. I learned this the hard way. After giving the postal service 15 great years, I was faced with the real prospect of losing my position for nothing more than office politics. Suddenly I felt like, “Now what? What will happen to me?” Those feelings of fear were because after so many years I identified myself as ‘Neil the postal worker’. Lucky for me I had a few friends I could talk to who knew me before I worked for the postal service. I had to ask Jason, Jenny, and Russ, my good friends, what was I like 16 years ago before the I started working there. After a few jokes about stress levels I came to realize there was a Neil before the United States Postal Service and there will be one after as well. Here we are a few years later and I find myself in the same situation. What is different now is I realize I am not my occupation. So who am I? More importantly, who are you? We are who we choose to define ourselves to be. I heard something recently that may help to show the example I am trying to get at. “There is a great difference between doing something stupid, feeling stupid, and being stupid” We have all done something stupid in our lives. Some more than others. We have all felt stupid at times. When we say we are stupid, that creates a whole different mentality. If you say you are stupid, or overweight, or lazy, whatever term you use it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I’m really good at this for saying “I am a procrastinator”. Now if I hold that as a belief or even more so as a conviction, my actions will have to be in line with that identity. So really think how you define yourself. Take a moment to write a few beliefs about yourself that you hold. See which ones serve you and which do not. If you are like me and have one or two that may be holding you back it is time to switch them up. Write down the person you wish to become. Carry it with you and read it throughout the day. At first it may seem like you are lying to yourself especially if it is the opposite of what you currently believe to be true of yourself. Stick with it. You didn’t develop the beliefs you have about yourself overnight and you are not going to change them overnight either. So let us all redefine ourselves and become the people we desire to be!
FIRST SECRET TO HAPPINESS…
“To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness”
-Robert Morely
When facing any challenge from a new job to trying to live a more amazing life, why are we so quick to be hard on ourselves? I remember training some people at the Post Office who picked things up at a slower pace than the rest of us and I was always very encouraging. When I was first learning, however, I recall being upset with myself for every little mistake. Now if it was somebody else and they did it, I would remind them that we all make mistakes and the important thing is to keep trying. Keep going towards your goal. So why are we so hard on ourselves? It has been said we are always hardest on those closest to us, and if that statement holds true I suppose it would make sense that we are our own worst critics. I have a friend who is working on getting back in shape and she recently missed going to the gym for three whole days. I heard her say things like “It’s no use, I’ll never get back in shape” and “why can’t I just stick with things?”. We share a mutual friend who is also trying to live a healthier lifestyle and I asked her what she would say if she heard her saying the same thing. After a long pause she looked at me and yelled “It’s not the same!” I kind of chuckled, which really did not help the situation any, but then I told her “give yourself a break” and told her to encourage herself and give herself a little pep talk. “Give myself a pep talk? That sounds silly” was her reply. I asked her if it was any crazier then yelling at yourself. She thought for a minute and then started laughing. “I guess not, maybe you’re right” she said. Ok, so after that we did have an ice cream cone, but she assured herself that was ok, and she was recommitted to her fitness routine.
Now I am not saying it is not constructive to hold yourself responsible for failing to do something you have set out to do. Just don’t continue to beat yourself up over it. This week let us treat ourselves like we would treat our best friends. After all, we are stuck with ourselves for the rest of our lives, we might as well be friends. You wouldn’t continue to stay with someone who yelled and criticized you every day, would you? No, you would tell them to get lost, you don’t deserve to be treated that way. So next time your inner critic comes calling, tell them the same thing. Say to yourself “I deserve to be treated better than this” because you are amazing and you do! Enjoy your week my friends!
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 