Here is my latest YouTube video. i explain the one thing you can do to make it through the valleys of life easier, while enjoying the peaks more!
Tag: positivity
STRENGTH TO OVERCOME
What are the secrets that allow some people to overcome challenges while others are sunk by them? This is one of those questions that are at the very core of what I do, helping people live an amazing life.
The truth is this, whether rich or poor, tall or short whether we are from Fiji or Greenland we all have ups and downs in life. Maybe that doesn’t sound so profound, but when we stop to think of the amount of time we spend on finding ways to ‘get rid of problems’ or ‘avoid problems’ it becomes evident we are trying to create a state that will never exist. Instead of trying to live problem free, we should try to not only limit the effect problems have on our lives, but learn from them and actually put them to work for us.
Ok, so how come some people can seem to do this and some people just keep fighting against life? There are quite a few things we can do to move ourselves from the second category into the first. The first is an understanding that problems will always be a part of our lives. Not to inspiring to hear at first is it? This revelation can actually be quite liberating. When we know longer spend our physical and mental energy fighting against problems, we free up that energy to constructively use them.
Now it is time to get into the nuts and bolts of how we can do just that. First is to change our language in terms of how we refer to our challenges. This may seem trivial and even silly on the onset but remember the words we use is how we speak to our subconscious mind. Rarely do I even use the word problem. I prefer challenge as life is challenging us to grow and become something more in order to overcome the situation in front of us. Another word I tend to use is ‘obstacle’. The word itself gives you the feeling of something to be met and overcome.
This also applies in specific situations as well. Instead of saying “I am having a terrible day” or whatever not so pleasant description you care to use, say “I am having a character building day”. At first this may sound like saying the same thing but using different words. Which, in essence we kind of are, but words have power and create feeling. Say the two statements separately 3 times in a row. Notice the different feeling you get. This is important for 2 very important reasons. One, when we feel better we do better and two, when we phrase the situation in such a way that we can see potential in it (i.e. character building day) we know we are going to get something for the pain we are feeling at the moment.
So try this in the coming weeks. Try changing how you refer to the problems in your life. Begin by calling them challenges. Look at situations and see how you can word them constructively. Make a game out of it. That demanding boss that says mean things to you can go from being an ass to being a patience building trainer. Again, this may sound silly to you at first and that’s ok. Laugh at it. After all, laughter is a good feeling. Try this for the week ahead and see if you notice a difference.
Feel free to share this post with everyone you know. Also feel free to share some of your more creative word changes below. You may help the rest of us.
IT’S YOUR CHOICE
Choice is one of the greatest powers we have. The choice we make as to what we eat and how much we exercise will have a determination as to how healthy we will be. The choice we make as to what people we surround ourselves with will have a great deal of influence on what kind of day we will have.
Our choices are not always easy, but make no mistake, they are always ours, as are the consequences. Take my present circumstance, it is 4:30 in the morning, i can’t sleep and i have a terrible headache. i could just lay there and lament , but instead i am choosing to share these thoughts with you. I don’t always make such healthy choices. In fact, as I write this I’m eating chips and salsa. Probably not the best 4:30am dietary choice.
One of the most important choices we can ever make is what to focus on. We make this choice whether we know it or not several times a day. It starts first thing in the morning. Where as Eric Thomas puts it, “most of us are waking up on accident”. That is to say we don’t really have a point of focus. let’s start there. Tomorrow morning decide what your focus will be. Write it down now because if you are anything like me, first thing in the morning the mind is a little fuzzy. It could be practical such as “I’m going to focus on thoughts to improve my business”. It could even be something less material such as “I’m going to focus on what to be grateful for” or “I’m going to focus on things to be happy about”. This gives your mind a target for the day.
This also works situationally. One of my favorite questions I use to focus is “how can I use this?”. If it is a success perhaps I can use it to remind myself i don’t always fail. If it is a “failure” I ask myself the same thing. After all if you can use a failure to learn something about yourself or the situation it then becomes a lesson.
Start by developing a morning focus. Again easiest to do this the day before. You can use the same one for a week or a month. Have fun with this and let us know how your life changes in the comments below .
LIFE-CHANGING THOUGHT
I have been involved in the field of self-improvement for over two decades. What I tend to notice is a lot of the great ideas are shared by many different people. The more i study, the more common truths are revealed. Sometimes hearing something one more time, or perhaps in a different wording can bring a whole new level of wisdom. Such is the quote above.
I happen to be a person who loves knowledge. If there is something that interests me i love to learn all about it. This is overall a trait about myself of which i am very fond. It does, however, come with a few ‘side effects’. One of which is I strongly dislike looking foolish or ignorant. This used to keep me from trying new things. After all when learning anything new there is a period of looking awkward and foolish. Recently with the help of friends and the support of the lady in my life i have been learning to get past that. After all this blog would not exist if I had not started and learned as i went.
Another trait I am working on is control. We all like to have control over many aspects of our lives and be given what is generally a false sense of security. Inevitably, life will show us how foolish that is by introducing us to things we have no hope of controlling such as the weather and the actions of others. Still many of us, myself included, tend to just find ways to “do better next time” or find ways to limit the effect of outside stimulus.
What all of this can lead to is a lot of stress and disappointment. Trying to “know it all”or “do it all perfectly” is insanity. As I mentioned earlier accepting that has been one of this year’s greatest accomplishments. It has reduced my stress considerably.
Still, upon hearing this quote from Rumi I believe there is more to it. Approaching life as a willing student wanting to learn, can teach me far more than trying to know it all. Looking for the miracle in everything I witness will not only eliminate the stress, but full me with a kind of bliss I have not experienced since i was a child.
So I invite you to join me on selling our cleverness for bewilderment, or wonder as I would prefer to say. Look for the divine and the miracle in everything you see. feel free to leave your experience in the comments below.
POWERFUL, SIMPLE BUT A GREAT CHALLENGE
What I’m about to share with you is something that can have a tremendous effect on your life. It is simple and may in fact be something you already know. this simple thing, however, is very difficult to master.
I am often asked for the ‘secret’ to my happy life. How in the face of challenges do i more often than not remain positive. It is through this practice, of which i am still working on, that my inner peace and positivity have been developed.
Before i share exactly what it is i strive to do, please allow me to put forth a question. Do you know someone, perhaps the person in the mirror who often finds themselves overwhelmed and burned out by their daily lives? Do you also know someone who is always full of life and eager for what is next? In life most of us have experienced a little bit of both. Sadly, most of us live in the former.
So how do we fill our life with passion and energy? The answer is at once both simple and perhaps our greatest challenge. In a nutshell there are only 2 thought patterns worth spending our daily energy on.
First is the present moment and what good we can find in it. This provides its own challenge especially in difficult situations. Staying present can at once allow us to savor good moments and put challenging ones in perspective .
The second thought pattern is what can i do in the near future to create the outcome i desire or at least move closer to it.
The past has its purpose in teaching us and noticing patterns of behavior , but to dwell and live in the past (the ‘if only’ thought pattern) robs us of our present moment and the opportunities of joy it contains. Not to mention there is no transformational value to Dwelling on the past. No matter how much we cry over spilled milk it will not put it back in the glass.
The same holds true with living in the future. True, it is important to know where we want to go and to set goals. Even taking brief trips to the future to visualize what we want to happen is helpful. Then it is time to return to the present and take actions that will lead us in that direction. Living in the future (the ‘i will be happy when’ pattern of thinking) also robs of the joy in the present moment.
When sharing this with a recent coworker she remarked how difficult this can be. The passing of loved ones, trouble at work, an impending divorce all take our attention elsewhere. Momentarily that is ok, but spending a great deal of time there drains our emotional energy and leaves us little if anything to show for it.
Is this easy? Not at all. In fact daily i am still working on it. One thing is for sure, it is worth it. When you find yourself able to stay present and focused you will experience a sense of inner peace and joy that is hard to explain. I welcome your ideas for staying present and limiting worry in the comments below
WE ARE ALL ARTISTS
Below you will find a link to a video of my beautiful lady making one her divine cakes. Why am i sharing this? Several reasons. First, she looks far better in front of the camera than i do. Second, you can see the talent she has and the great cakes she creates. Third, it makes it easier to appreciate the hard work that goes into creating something we may just take for granted and enjoy the flavor of. Which, by the way was nothing short of divine!
Why is all of this on secret2anamazinglife? How does this cake making video help us to live our life better? Great questions. Here is how. No matter what we do in life be it bartender, postal worker, dj,author, or even blog writer there is an artistry to what we do. When you see a nice smooth driveway that’s been poured, or a house that is newly painted in addition to realizing all the hard work that goes into it appreciate the art that also goes into it. Sure watching this cake video it is easy to see the fished product as a work of art and if you tasted it that would be even easier, but know whatever you do on a daily basis you are creating your own work of art.
Whether i am writing these blogs or crafting a cocktail or even cutting my lawn if I understand I am creating my own work of art the results will be amazing. If you want to inspire others follow this website or like our Facebook page. Now click the link below and let your mouth water! If you think this cake looks delicious feel free to order one of your own from my lovely Margie!
LIVING TREASURES
Here is a man I encountered during a recent event at the local historical society in West Allis where I live. His name is David HB Drake. As you can see in the photo he plays several unique instruments and sings as well. What makes Mr. Drake special is that a lot of what he plays and sings are songs from the past. He also knows the story behind what he sings and passes it along to those who listen to him. To attend one of his performances is both educational as well as entertaining.
I am not sure of Mr. Drake’s age, but he is what we consider a senior citizen. In this country often that designation comes with an impression of helplessness, or someone who is passed their prime and does not have a lot to offer. The sad thing is that by taking that view we miss the great gifts these people have to offer us. The knowledge Mr. Drake has gathered has taken him a lifetime. To learn, practice and perform all of the songs he does can only be done with years of actually doing it. The passion he delivers it with is special and unique to him. A young person could not come in and do what he does. We could read books to learn the facts he delivers, but we would not experience them. The sparkle he has in his eye while telling you about what life was like in logging camps of the 1800’s cannot be read, but must be felt.
There are stories and gifts like this in every senior we know. I personally recall my grandfather telling me stories of his time in the south pacific during the second world war. Those stories could not have been read in any book on the subject and give me a personal perspective to add to what I do read about that period. Wisdom comes with time and experience and is something money cannot buy. So please treat your elders as the living treasures they are. Mine all of the ‘gold’ you can from them before they are gone. Ask questions, listen to their stories. You will not only be helping them understand and feel how valuable and treasured they are, but you will also be learning and helping yourself.
Feel free to share this post with as many as you can so we will not lose any more living treasures without experiencing the gifts they have to offer.
THE ONE THING YOU MUST CHANGE FOR YOUR LIFE TO CHANGE
I am a person who likes nothing about winter. I am not a fan of driving on icy roads, nor freezing temperature and shoveling. I used to spend a good portion of the winter wishing it were summer. Do you know what that got me here in Wisconsin? Frustrated. It became very apparent that as much as I would have liked circumstances to change, mother nature would always follow fall with winter. Some were mild, some were fierce but they always came.
Ok great story, but what did I learn from all of this? I learned that life is a lot like the seasons, always changing. You most take advantage of what it offers you. Plant in spring, harvest in fall. When a winter period of your life comes whether it be financial or even a broken heart know that it is a season and shall pass.
Also, like the weather we can do certain things to prepare for the seasons. Meaning life does not change until we do. If I sat in my front yard in a speedo during winter complaining how cold it is and waiting for it to get warm the only things that would happen is I would either die from exposure or be taken to jail for indecent exposure because trust me, nobody wants to see me in a speedo. Instead of waiting for the season to change, I could change myself. Put a warm coat on. Spend time inside with a warm cup of coffee and my hot lady.
My point is this, we can complain about how bad it is and wait for the world to change, or we can change ourselves and create our own circumstances. We do not see the world as it is , we see the world as we are.
Feel free to share this post on all your social media pages and spread the word about positivity. Also feel free to check out all the other posts at Secret2anamazinglife
THE MOST DIFFICULT SITUATION YOU WILL FACE
This is me at one of my favorite stands at the state fair. It is called krautland. They serve a lot of tasty things many of which include… sauerkraut. Ron,the owner, and his family are some of the nicest people you will meet. If you are going to the Wisconsin state fair I highly suggest stopping by.
Ok, other than looking at this fabulous picture of me, what does all this have to do with the most difficult situation of your life? Let’s get into that.
When giving my seminars on success and happiness one of the greatest challenges people have, and the question they ask the most about is how to deal with the loss of a loved one. I am no expert in grief consoling and to me there is no ‘getting over’ the loss of a loved one. What I have learned both by study and personal experience is there are things we can do to make the person we lost live on in our hearts. Again, let me say this is what had helped me and I encourage and welcome you to leave your suggestions in the comments below. When someone close to me passes away, one of the first things that go through my mind is what that person brought to the world. What light has been lost with their passing? For example when my cousin was tragically killed at the age of 22 I realized the world had lost a great artist and vowed to do my part to help the art community that much more. When my grandmother passed away the world lost a great hostess and conversationalist. I do my best to be amazing at those two things.
Another way that I keep those I have lost alive in my heart is by doing things that I always have done with them. My grandfather was very close to me and when he passed away there were lots of memories I cherished. One of which I indulge in every august. My grandfather, like myself, was a huge fan of our state fair. Every year we would go together and sit and eat at the stand krautland. To this day once a year, at least, I visit that stand and recall the good times I shared with him there. It keeps his memory alive in my heart and puts a smile on my face as well as my soul.
These two acts help me accept and process the loss of a loved one. I hope they may be of help to you. I invite and encourage you to share what helps you so that we may help others.
IT IS THE SMALL THINGS
In reflection it has come to my attention how many moments that seemed insignificant at the time ended up being life-changing. Here is what I mean. When a friend suggested in 2006 I see the movie ‘The Secret’ I thought it would be just another movie. It turned out to change the way I look at the world. When I ordered my first Tony Robbins product off an infomercial I thought it would end up on a shelf collecting dust. Now I practice a lot of what I learned from that. In addition I have made my life’s mission to help others learn how to better their lives and the world around them. When I started this blog which is going on 500 posts ago, I thought it would merely be an outlet for my philosophical musings. It has turned into a book A Happy Life for Busy People as well as several speaking engagements.
Even when my boss at the time told me that my hours at the post office were going to be cut from 45 a week to 10 due to down-sizing I thought that was going to be a major negative moment. It was that event that pushed me into the self-improvement field. So never underestimate the effect that things can have on you. Keep your ears and mind open. Also stay present in the moment to be able to take from life what you can. Each moment presents its own lessons and its own opportunities. Make sure to grab them all.
Lastly, some moments may not become important until long after they have passed. My grandfather was a very important figure in my life and taught me many things. Some of which I thought were crazy or even disagreed with at the time. He passed away years ago, but often I find myself thinking of things he said and appreciating them in a whole different level. He is still teaching me long after he is gone. Sometimes there are things you have to experience, or a place in life you have to be before the lesson can be fully appreciated.
The takeaway here is to soak up everything in life. It may seem insignificant at the time, but you never know when it may be just want you need!
