Tag: positivity

EASY(ER) SUCCESS

This title is a little tongue in cheek. Success does require a great deal of work, focus and discipline. Still, there are things we can do that allow success to have a smoother, and thus, a quicker road in our lives. Who would not want that?

Aside from developing and maintaining an attitude of gratitude, surrounding yourself with positive driven people who want to see you succeed is one of the most important choices you can make. Notice i  ‘choice’. For the most part we can decide who we would like to have in our lives. 

What is the benefit of this? There are many. Just some of them include the following; increased accountability. Now this can not always seem fun at first. Who wants to hear “did you go to the gym today?”. Quite often though knowing we will be held accountable for our  actions keeps us focused on taking positive ones. Encouragement. The opposite side of the coin, when you feel like giving up having someone to pick you up and let you know they believe in you can give you the strength to keep going. I heard Les Brown say once “sometimes you have to believe in others belief in you until you can believe in yourself”. I can say from personal experience that is true. Lastly there is an increased network. There are always people who know people, and knowing more of them only serves you well. I cannot count the times i have had people tell me “I know this person that would like to buy your book“. Through them i am able to reach and help more people. 

These are just some examples and there are a great deal more. Regardless of what you stand to gain, surrounding yourself with good people who want you to succeed will help. 

Feel free to share tips on surrounding yourself with good people or what you can gain out of it in the comments below.

WE ARE ALL GUILTY 

Do you ever stress about things you can’t change? I think we pretty much all do. Whether I’m at a show as a DJ,or working at the post office, giving a speech or seminar it just wondering through this amazing life i often hear people stressed over things outside their control. 

Sometimes it is the current political climate or what some elected official did. I have even seen people to the point of tears based on the performance or actions of their favorite sports team. What i find even more unbelievable is the petty personal issues. Who said what about who online, who is dating who, etc. 

Not only do all of these items bring us mental and emotional exhaustion, but acting this way over a prolonged period of time can cause us physical distress as well. Leading to such conditions such as ulcers,lack of sleep and even fatal conditions such as heart attacks  (for which the 1 risk factor is stress and job dissatisfaction)

So what to do about the things that upset us that are out of our control? Let us learn to do what we can and let go. Don’t like what a politician is doing? Write letters, start an online petition or just support his opponent. Your favorite team not doing well? Write a letter to the coach or general manager. Don’t like some personal thing someone is doing? Either let them know if you feel it is a must, or just focus on all your friends doing things that make you happy and proud. 

Constantly talking and complaining about conditions, especially those out of our control, does us no good and plenty of harm. Instead, do what most successful and happy  people i know do,  focus on the person in the mirror. Concentrate on improving their condition and on making them a better person. It will not only reduce your stress, but as you improve and progress it will give you something to be proud of. That will be something worth talking about!

Feel free to share your tips about letting go of what we cannot change in the comments below.  

THE MISSING INGREDIENT 

Have you ever cooked something and forgot an ingredient? Sometimes it is not that big of a deal.  You forgot That pinch of salt. Sure you can taste a little difference but it still tastes good. Other times it could make all the difference. Let us say you are making cherry pie and forget the cherries, big problem there. 

What i am going to share with you fits into the first category. I run into a lot of people who seem to have a missing ingredient in their lives and quest for improving themselves. I must confess as to having this problem myself for a while. See if this sounds familiar to you. Daily your life can be a struggle. You have moments of positivity, but daily it seems like a grind. You may even have a set of goals you are working towards but the path seems long and difficult. 

Fear not my friend! You are missing an ingredient. If you add this ingredient it will make whatever goal you are chasing not only easier to obtain, but you will have a lot more fun doing it. Yes, this missing ingredient is truly a game changer! Sound pretty powerful? It is, but here is what is even better, it is super easy to do. 

So let us look at your goal, what is it? Lose some of the extra pounds from the holidays? Obtain a certain position in your career? Perhaps improve and grow the love in your relationship? Whatever your goal is there is one step you should add to it and that can make all of the difference. Here is the one magic thing you can add to not only your goal list, but your daily to do list as well. It will improve the quality of your life tremendously! Have fun and enjoy the process. 

That sounds easy right? Here is why it is so vital. Most of life is a journey. If we only stop to enjoy life when we achieve a goal or arrive at a certain point we are…well…missing the point. It is the traveling there that is where we should look for the fun. 

You might be asking “what is fun about losing weight?”. A lot can be. Perhaps in your efforts you can look up and try fun new healthy recipes? Instead of going to the gym (which oddly I’m really hooked on) maybe find a sport you like or start taking walks in nature or going for bike rides with the one you love. 

Another thing to help enjoy the process is to notice and get excited about the progress and not the perfection. Stop and read that again, it is worth it. Some people will look at how much of the mountain there is left to climb and forget to look at how much they have already conquered. So you can’t fit into your jeans from high school yet, but did you notice you don’t get so winded taking the stairs? Maybe you and your spouse still argue too much, but are they being solved quicker and with less hurt?

So add the line have fun and enjoy the process to whatever goal or to do list you are currently working on.  Find ways to make the journey fun and celebrate the progress not just the perfection. You will find yourself smiling more often and when you’re enjoying yourself your goals will be easier to stick to!

Feel free to share this post with all of your friends!

SHHH….

Today is valentine’s day. Some call it a hallmark holiday and in many ways I do suppose it is. Much like Christmas,Easter and several other holidays the true meaning makes way for commercial interests. Just like the aforementioned holidays, we do not have to fall victim to this mentality and can focus on the meaning behind the day. 

In the case of today it is love. The cynical may say it is foolish and you should love everyday. This is one time I may be inclined to partially agree with the cynic. While it is true you should celebrate love each and every day (and I am sure that those of you that know my lady Margie and I realize we do) but having a day specifically set aside to remind us of the important role love plays in all of our lives can be very healthy. 

Above is a picture of the couple my lady and I are going to spend the evening with,  our friends Heidi and Bret. This couple, like all couples, have had their share of challenges. Still here they are back, and dare I say, better than they were a year ago. 

What is their secret to love? Well as we all know love is a very complex subject that has filled countless books and inspired even more movies and songs. To say there is one key to love would be selling ourselves short. 

However, because this is a blog and we should be brief i am going to share a secret Heidi and Bret, Margie and myself and countless other couples use to grow their love. Not in a relationship? That’s fine this one thing can unlock the secrets to capturing the heart of anyone you are interested in. 

These are all big claims but can all be achieved by doing one simple thing – listening. Before you dismiss this idea let’s take a look. The kind of listening I am talking about involves listening to learn. 

Let’s take a look at disagreements. When passions run high we can all too often listen just to contradict what our partner is saying. Come on, we have all done it. I know I have. Have you ever found yourself in this situation, you are arguing so intensely and for so long you actually forget what the argument is about? Even worse have you been in a disagreement only to discover you and the other party were totally disagreeing about two different things? These are all things that can happen when we don’t listen to understand what is upsetting our partner. 

When we actively listen which includes asking questions such as “what is truly upsetting you?” And “what can I do to make it better?” can shorten the duration and lessen the intensity of any disagreement. It will also show your partner you can and want to find a solution and not just who is to blame. 

Let’s not be all doom and gloom here. Listening has a very fun and exciting side. Don’t you wish you could always give the one you love the perfect gift or situation to light up their heart regardless of the funds you have available? Listening to the rescue! When I shop with Margie I listen closely  (ok most of the time). This has allowed me to learn what her favorite flowers are, what meat she likes the best, her taste in fashion. Even the conversations we have while doing the simplest things have given me clues as to what she likes and also what she dislikes. By paying attention and taking mental notes it has kept me in the first category. 

So this valentine’s day give your spouse the gift of truly listening to them. It can not only be a great gift for them  (who doesn’t enjoy really being heard and feeling important) and you (they will tell you lots of secrets if you pay attention) but also a great gift for your relationship (it will give you opportunities to grow love and limit upsets). 

*the author would also like to note listening will work in any relationship, friend coworker and clients. 

THE COMMON THREAD

This week we are going to look at inspiration from a few different spiritual beliefs. This page is not about telling you what to believe spiritually, i believe that is between you and your creator. This page is, however,  about living an amazing life. My life’s mission is to help people see the beauty in themselves, others and the world around them. It is the last two this week will be focused on. 

There are always differences between people and normally that is not a big deal. This person had long hair, this person has short hair. This person is tall and that person is short.  So why when it comes to religion and politics do differences have to divide us so? This week we are going to look at various quotes from sources in several different beliefs and what we can learn from them. We ate going to end this week with something that may surprise some of you, so check back at the end of the week for that. 

For the rest of today begin to look at the common thread that ties all of us together no matter where or how we pray. 

INCLUDE SOME EVERYDAY

This may seem like a no-brainer. That being said, ask yourself “How many things do I do everyday for the simple reason of making myself happy?”. There seems to be an endless list of things we need to do every day like walk the dog, go to work and clean the house. Still how many times do we take a second to do things that truly bring a little joy to our lives? A lot of people may find this to be selfish, but to all of my altruistic friends out there, remember you can serve others far better when you are coming from a good place.

Let us explore this idea of creating a list of things that make us happy. It can be things we do already, or things that we used to do. It can be things we have wanted to try, or things we forgot about. It can be simple things that only take a minute or complex things that may take a few days to enjoy. Let us take a look at a few examples to get us started.

A while back I wrote a post about mixing different flavors of soda at fast food restaurants. As a child it was something I was always told I should not do. To this day I can’t really understand the problem with it. Guess what? About 75% of the time I get a soda at a place I have the option to, I mix the flavors. I still chuckle a bit to myself each and every time I do it as well. So even if something seems rather silly, put it on your list!

Another thing I have noticed is how special things we do that bring us joy can slip in the familiar. Let me explain. A few years ago I had moved into the place I am now living. In the move I took a while to set up my fancy coffee maker. Coffee being one of my guilty pleasures. As an author I think it should be allowed as a tax deduction, but I digress. When I finally set it up I recall the lady in my life bringing me a fresh hot brewed cup of coffee first thing in the morning. If memory serves I think the clouds parted and angels started singing, but don’t quote me on that. Funny thing is, fast forward 2 years later and it is something I do as I am getting dressed and ready for work. I grab my cup and run out the door barely even realizing I made it until I take that first sip. With a moment of focus I can once again appreciate this morning ritual. Even the act of writing it down can serve to remind me how much joy I receive through a simple cup of coffee.

So take some time this Monday and create your own list of things that make you happy. Smiling at strangers? Saying good morning to your favorite coworker? Eating a fresh salad for lunch? Maybe a simple cup of coffee or mixing soda at a fast food restaurant? Write them all down and carry your list with you throughout this week. See if you can sneak in several of the items everyday.

Please feel free to share any of the items on your list and how you put them into your day in the comments below. Share this idea with a friend and both try it. That will only make it far more fun. As always, feel free to share this blog post as well.

 

AND WE’RE OFF!

It was a Saturday evening around 6pm and i was enjoying a nap after a long day working at the post office. Suddenly my lady wakes me up and said “i think i heard a car accident”. I closed my eyes and a sinking feeling came over me as i realized there was only one car parked in front of the house….mine. 

I jumped out of bed, grabbed my coat as it was a mere 9 ° outside.  Sure enough my car, i named Earl, that was parked in the street in front of my house was now several feet closer to my front door. Further down the street i saw what was left of an elderly man and his car. I ran to check on him and saw his head was bleeding and he seemed out of sorts. As i called the police i offered the man to come inside and a hot cup of coffee which he politely declined. Soon the police arrived and after about an hour both vehicles were towed away and i was left with the reality of having no car on a cold winter day. 

Here is where all of this leaves us. At the end of last year i told everyone i knew i felt 2017 was going to be a great year for me. I’m not into numerology at all, but something just told me “this will be your year”. This would seem to be an auspicious start, and truly my ford escape has seen its last days, but i am going to have a rental car that will tide me over and i am sure the insurance company will give me something. I called the elderly man’s son, who picked him up that evening the following day to inquire as to his condition which i was informed was greatly improved. I had a warm house to spend the evening in and was assisted by family and friends in getting where i needed to go. 

The takeaway here is even though i have been inconvenienced and may very well end up with less than i started with i still am very grateful. Nobody was seriously hurt. Perhaps if the man had not hit my parked car he would have went on the hit something far worse. Maybe something was about to go wrong with my car that he prevented? Either way 2017 is still going to be my year. It began with a great challenge to my positivity, but it also provided a chance to persevere and remain grateful. 

A NEW YOU!

This time of year there is always a lot of talk about changing who we are for the better. About how we can improve on this and do better on that. Here is a better idea – try loving yourself more-.

If that sounds a bit silly or a little too ‘new age-ish” for you stop and think about what we tell ourselves. Last post we talked about what we can do when we make a mistake and how beating ourselves up doesn’t not serve us or anyone else around us. We don’t really seem to talk to ourselves much unless it is criticism. 

Let’s be honest, if you are reading a blog like this chances are on a daily basis you do more right than you do wrong. On some days maybe this isn’t true, but as a person you do the best you can to do what is right. If it doesn’t feel like that sometimes it might be because we don’t congratulate ourselves as much as we admonish ourselves. 

This weekend try doing two things for yourself. First, try to notice and congratulate yourself when you do something nice. You held the door for someone, you threw your trash away instead of leaving it for someone else to do. Maybe it is that you went to work even though it was cold and you didn’t want to. Take a moment and say to yourself, or out loud if you’re that confident, “hey me (i recommend using your name it’s ok to refer to yourself in the third person just this once) i did a good job right here”. 

Second, when you do make a mistake find a good. Yes, i did slip up and have a cigarette, but i haven’t had one for 7 days before that and next time I’ll go even longer!

Try this for a few days and you will notice you feel better over all and you won’t get so down when you make a mistake. After all, you’re amazing just the way you are!

JUST ONE THING

Normally there is not a blog post on this site on Sunday, but it is new years day and i would love to help you get a jump on having an amazing 2017.

Today is a day traditionally a lot of us make resolutions. Usually, judging by the crowds at the gym, they usually last about a month or so. Why are resolutions so hard to keep? There are a million possible answers and it greatly depends on you. 

One of the dilemmas we face is in the enormity of some of the goals we set for ourselves. So here is a fun activity we can all try. It involves doing one simple thing, once a week. Kind of like replacing one of your meals with a salad once a week do try and begin to eat more healthy. Sometimes adding something small can be easier to stick with and can build a foundation to make bigger changes. Not to mention, this one is fun!

Ok he is the drill. Find a jar. It can be one you have laying around the house you decorate, or you can go to the home store and pick one out. Part of the fun is being creative.  Do what speaks to you. Now place the jar somewhere you will see regularly. Place by this jar a small stack of papers and a pen. Pick a day on which you can regularly depend. Be it Monday to start the week, Friday at the end or any of the other five. On that day write on one of the pieces of paper either something that made you happy or something you are grateful for that week. You can do both if you like. 

What you do with your jar is up to you. Some people read through it when they are having a bad day. Some pick days and open it and read them all. Some friends wait until the next December and look back at all the good they had that year. Any of these are great! You could even do them all. 

This is a simple, fun idea that only takes a couple of seconds once a week. Try it this year and see where it takes you. Maybe share the idea with a friend and design your jars together. Feel free to leave your ideas in the comments below. 

START A FUNDRAISER

I like this saying because it can be rather profound. Of course there is several meanings i see in this picture. 

First, if we view our work as a fundraiser for our lives it can change our perception of our work. When you realize what your money allows you to do, even if it is just paying the bills, you slowly shift how you feel. Even though work will remain frustrating at times there begins to enter a feeling of gratitude. Sure we would all like to earn more money, but the fact we are earning some allows us to love in a climate controlled house with clean water whenever we need. It allows us to eat everyday. Sure we might want steak instead of fast food more often, but we rarely go to bed hungry. This puts us so far ahead of most of the world that even if we don’t have the fancy car, exotic vacation or other things we might desire we still have a lot to be grateful for. 

Second, perhaps we need to add to the fundraising aspect. If we set up a special savings account, or even a coffee can we contribute to designated for a fun special purpose it can motivate us when work is challenging. 

So this week set up that account (or fun bank) pick a fun purpose and start saving what you can, even change. Then notice all the bills you are able to pay thanks to your job. It may not seem like fun, but try to imagine life without them.