Tag: Philosophy

TRIAL AND ERROR

“My life has been based on trial and error. I finally paid attention during the trial, now I’m learning from my errors”
-Kari Hutton

Life, it always has its ups and downs.  No matter how far along we are at creating the life of our dreams, there will always be challenges. Now this may seem depressing news, but it is quite the opposite.  Challenges provide us a chance to grow. The are the seeds to great opportunity. You could never have the feeling without overcoming a challenge.  The secret to making challenges work for you is what you do with them.  When you find yourself in a troubling situation is your first feeling “Why me?” or how life is not fair?  I’ll admit there are days I am as guilty as the next person of this.  When we are faced with a situation that is not what we desire we can make it work for us. Even if it is completely out of our control, we can still have a victory if we ask ourselves “What can I learn from this?” If you say nothing, just think if you could learn something from it, what would it be?  Maybe it is as simple as who will stand by you when the chips are down, or how you will react when faced with a tough time.

I have a friend who was recently sent to prison.  She is a young single mother and for some serious life mistakes she faces over a year away from her family.  Now she could simply focus on missing her son, or how her life is so far down the wrong path, but she is not.  In fact, she is working on transforming her life while behind bars.  She is beginning to explore things like the love of attraction and the power of positive thinking.  She is working on educating herself in different fields and writing a book to help others who may be headed down the path she went to so that they may not make the same mistakes.  Whenever I receive a letter from her it reminds me how much good can come out of a situation that seems so bad.

The moral is this.  Sometimes life will suck.  The two real secrets are as follows.  First, how to reduce the times that happens.  Second, how to make the most of it when it does. If you can do this your life will be a success.  So this week as we are faced with challenges let us stop and ask ourselves “how can I make this work for me?”.  Be a master of your life, not a victim.

WHEN WE HAVE NO CONTROL..

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves”

-Viktor Frankl

Often I am asked “How can I be expected to live a positive motivated life when I am surrounded by all these negative people at work?” or “How can I remain positive and motivated when my loved one just passed away?”  Again I am here to be the first to tell you this blog is not about being happy 100% of the time.  It is about being happier and being so more often.  There will be times in our lives that situations happen beyond our control.  That is when we are forced to grow.  When our emotional fortitude is strengthened. When we are forced to look for a deeper meaning than what lies on the surface.  You have heard the saying “We can’t control our circumstances we can just control how we react to them”  As the quote above indicates there are times when there will be nothing we can do to change our situations.  Sure you could always quit your job and go looking for another.  You better not be a single parent or like eating very much though.  Once a loved one has passed on there is nothing we can do to bring them back.  That quote actually came from the author of a book entitled “Man’s Search for Meaning”.  Viktor Frankl was a prisoner in a Nazi death camp with his family.  He was spared from the gas chambers, but had the terrible job of removing all of the dead bodies.  Some of which were his friends and relatives.  Now I realize this may not be all that inspiring, but my point is very few of us face a situation that tough.  This man did.  He knew that he could not single-handedly change that situation.  What he could do was change what it meant in his own mind.  He used his goal of being able to survive to be able to tell his story to both prevent something that terrible from happening again as well as to show others they have the power to impart meaning to any situation they face.  So next time life gives us a challenge, remember it is not only our chance to grow, but our chance to look for the beauty, to look for the empowering meaning.

Metal motivation

Yesterday we spoke of exposing ourselves to different sources of motivation and inspiration.  Well I have come across what I feel is an excellent site for people who may find this whole taking control of your mind and using the power of your thoughts a bit too ‘new age’.  It also works great for people like myself who on an occasion or several need a shove to be reminded to do the things we know we should be doing, but for a million different reasons are not.  Now I caution some of the language on this site is a bit strong, but it is a great bold look at how to improve your life and empower yourself. the site is www.metalmotivation.com The esteemed gentleman who you will see and hear from, CJ, has some amazing ideas and serves as another great option to plug into for some great motivation and life changing tools.  He also has some pretty great t-shirts there too. Check it out, if it works for you great! His concepts are some of the best I have heard in a long time. Have a passionate and thrilling day my friends!

 

THE POSITIVE POWER OF NEGATIVE THINKING…

At first glance this may seem like a paradox.  After all, how can negative thinking be anything but…well negative?  Let’s face it, positive thinking can empower us to do a lot of things.  Being positive minded 100% of the time is not only unrealistic, but not very healthy for growth either.  I would say a good healthy mix is 95/5.  So why are negative feelings so ‘good’ for us.  They can serve to vital and very important purposes.  First, they let us know what is not working.  There is something in our life that is currently not meeting our standards.  Why is this important?  Let me explain it with a situation we can all relate to, going to the doctor.  Why do you go to the doctor?  The answer usually is “because something is wrong”.  Noticing this means you have had bad physical feelings.  Whether they are nausea, pain, or some other not so pleasant feeling it let you know something is not as it should be.  If you are anything like me the very next question to the doctor is “How can we make this go away?”.  That leads us to the second great thing negative feelings can do for us.  They can motivate us into action.  In the case of the doctor visit, to do what actions are necessary to heal our condition.  The same holds true for any condition in life.  If we notice something in our life is causing us a noticeable amount of grief, get excited!  Excited about grief Neil?  Are you crazy?  Well, yes I am crazy, but here is why you should get excited.  Our bodies are designed to use feelings as warning signs.  Such as pain so you don’t leave your hand on the hot stove, or nausea so you don’t keep drinking the expired milk.  These may seem like a pain at first, after all who likes to burn their hand?  Yet if we didn’t have the pain we could leave our hand on the stove until it cooks right off.  Interesting thing is our minds do the same thing.  Ever wonder why certain things make you feel sad or angry.  That is our mind and spirits way of telling us something is wrong with them.  It is a warning sign, just like the burn on the hand.  We must decide what is causing this upset and act to correct it.  Now here is where negative emotions can be a double edge sword.  When trying to discover what would work to eliminate our discomfort we must think in a positive, solution oriented frame of mind.  For example, I had a friend who had recently given her all into a relationship that she felt had true potential, but when push came to shove the man she was in a relationship with did not feel the same.  I heard her utter phrases like “I’m never going to get into a relationship again, that way I won’t get hurt again”  Haven’t we all felt this way at one point or another?  I know I have.  In this situation she was willing to sacrifice all the pleasure a healthy relationship could provide her to escape the pain of another possible unhealthy one.  This may seem like a solution on the surface, but what it really amounts to is giving up.  If there is one thing you don’t want to give up on it is your own life.  So make negative emotions our servants, not our masters.  Let us use them for clarity and motivation, but not dwell in them.  So next time you find yourself upset, remember the positive power of negative thinking!

THINK…BACKWARDS…

So often I hear people say, “I’m in such a bad mood and I don’t even know why” I must confess to having felt that way before.  This can be a rather perfect scenario for being happy.  Now you may be wondering if I have completely lost my mind.  While that has yet to be determined, at least let me explain my last statement.  When it comes to adding more joy to your life, as with any worthwhile goal, one of the greatest challenges lies in just knowing how.  Let’s face it, if there was a simple step by step plan to a happy life, wouldn’t we all follow it?  One of the greatest challenges I have had in both putting together both this website and my book is people are different.  What makes one person happy, well it may not work for the next person.  So how can we discover what truly makes us happy and develop a formula to continually accomplish that?  I have two suggestions and they are complete opposites and involve thinking backwards. Now before I loose everyone completely, let’s take a step back.  Here is the first method. Even in the darkest of lives there are moments if not days when things just seem to be going your way.  Think back have you ever had one of those days where you are just happy with the world?  Here is a suggestion, try retracing your steps.  What do I mean?  Simple, start from how you are feeling and work back through your day.  Perhaps you had completed a project you were working on?  Maybe you brought a smile to the face of a friend or even a complete stranger.  Maybe you just finished listening to one of your favorite songs on the radio, or working out.  It will be different for everyone, and there may be a few things in there that just seem kind of crazy, but if they lead you to happiness…who cares!  The point here is to look at what makes up a great day for you.  Perhaps write them down on a list, or in a person journal (more on that in later in the week).  Ok, so perhaps you haven’t had one of those days in a while? Maybe you can’t remember what made you so happy, or just want to enjoy the feeling without trying to figure it out. Fair enough.  Even if you find yourself having a miserable day, it is cause to get excited!  Why would feeling miserable be anything to be excited about you may ask.  This is why, it works the same way as being happy.  If you’re having a bad day, stop and think about all the things that transpired to bring you to that point.  Make a list of those things too.  Not only will you come up with a list of things you would do well to eliminate from your life, but if you look at the opposite of those things, you have the seeds for what will make you happy.  So even knowing what you dislike can be a very healthy thing.  If you were to say, I dislike all the negative people I run into.  You will know limiting your exposure to negative people might be something you wish to work on.  You may also phrase it as “adding more positive people to my life would make it better”.  So as this week continues, try thinking backwards and form a plan for your own happiness.  A plan that would be as unique as the person writing it!

FRIENDS…WITH BENEFITS…

To add to the list of great and quite often unexpected benefits of doing our best to live a positive rewarding life is often the things that seem to just show up in your life.  Now of course there is some science as to how this happens.  When you are focusing on the positive, quite often the things that are most positive seem to attract your attention.  Perhaps you suddenly notice a beautiful garden you drive by every day on your way to work.  Perhaps it is a beautiful painting that hangs in your favorite coffee shop.  All these ‘fringe benefits’ continue to add joy to your life, but no area I think has been greater effected then that of the people in it.  This was made very clear to me this afternoon as I shared a cup of coffee with someone for the first time.  As we shared stories of each others lives and she gave me amazing ideas for my upcoming book, I was overwhelmed with how grateful I was to have such a wonderful person enter my life.  So later as I was going over my notes from our discussion and working on the next chapter I reflected on how we came to know each other, and how I may discover more hidden gems in the vast sea of humanity.  Well, here is how we met, and how living a positive life had a key role in that.  One of the most important things you can do to assist you in keeping a positive attitude is to surround yourself with people who are positive.  Now we may not get to choose our family, or our co-workers, but we can choose who we talk to and who we become friends with.  As i mentioned earlier, once you’re focusing on the positive it seems to stand out everywhere.  I couldn’t help but notice this young lady every time I bought a cup of coffee where she worked.  She always had a smile and a kind word for everyone she helped.  One of those people you just can’t help but smile after sharing a moment with them.  So naturally when I began working on my book about living a positive life, she came to mind as someone who might have some great insight.  I asked her if we could share a cup of coffee and perhaps I could ask her about her source of happiness and how she shares it with others. After having the chance to do just that, I not only gained a great insight in ways to become and remain positive, I also gained a dear friend.  Upon reflection, since I began this journey in earnest about a year ago, I have noticed without much effort on my part, negative people have seemed to naturally fade from my life and I am continually introduced and surrounded by more and more positive people.  Just another pleasant ‘side effect’ to look forward to as we make our way to a more positive and rewarding life!

THE TIME IS NOW!!

“My creed is: Happiness is the only good. The place to be happy is here. The time to be happy is now. The way to be happy is to make others so.”

-Robert Ingersoll

During breakfast the other day I was part of a conversation as to the obligation to keep company with people and situations that do not bring you joy.  To me the notion that you should subject yourself to unpleasant situations merely because that person is your relative, or the situation is something ‘everyone expects you to be at’ is to me antiquated and ridiculous.  So I am giving you all an excuse now.  If the person or situation does not give you joy, don’t be around them. The reason here is really two-fold. First, we were given this life to enjoy.  If you are not enjoying your life, you are wasting your life. Second, you can’t very well bring joy to others if you, yourself are not full of joy.  I am not saying there are not people and moments that may be less than a thrill (the dentist comes to mind for me) but if you have honestly done your best to bring joy to the situation and it does not seem to be taking hold, then it is not in line with you living a positive rewarding life.  To suffer through an evening with relatives or people you do not enjoy merely out of a sense of obligation does nobody any good.  It does not bring joy to the people you are with as it is usually apparent you are not enjoying yourself.  Not to mention the joy you could be having and experiencing with good friends.  So next time you find yourself dreading another situation ask yourself if you are doing it merely because you feel obligated, and will your presence there do any good? If that is indeed the case, my suggestion is to politely excuse yourself and treat yourself to an evening of fun. Whatever you do, feeling guilty should not be it. Remember if it doesn’t bring you joy, it certainly won’t bring others joy either.

WRITE YOUR EULOGY

You may wonder what such a title is doing in a blog about living a positive and rewarding life?  Throughout the course of my life I have read a great deal of self-improvement/law of attraction type books.  A lot of times ideas and thoughts are repeated in slighty different ways.  Which is good.  It let’s you know what seems to be working for a great deal of different people.  Once in a while, however, you come across a fresh idea which you haven’t heard before. This is one such time.  Do you ever wonder, “Is this what I should be doing with my life?” or “How do I know what the right path is for me?”.  I know I have.  Wouldn’t it be wonderful if there was a way to see if what you are currently doing matches your values and priorities?  There is!  I prefer to call this ‘Keeping the end in mind’.  Sit down and prepare to write your own eulogy.  What would you want said about you at your memorial service?  Was it that you were a good parent and raised your children in a loving fashion? Then family would be a great value to you. Perhaps it is that you showed kindness to everyone you met. Then compassion would be a trait that is of great importance to you.  Truth is, when we decide what legacy we would like to leave behind it gives our lives purpose and us a sense of direction.  If a eulogy seems a bit to dark for you, then try imagining what they would say at an awards presentation.  personally I like the eulogy as it also serves to remind us that time is one of the most precious commodities and we should spend it doing what we love and what bring joy and love to the rest of the world.  So ask yourself, “what would I want them to say about me?” You’ll never wonder if you’re on the right path again.

THE DECISION

Ok, so you have decided to start the journey to a positive and rewarding life.  That’s great, but do you realize how important it is as well?  Let me explain.  I know several people who have hard time making decisions mostly out of fear of making the wrong one.  Not only does this lead to inaction and an inability to move your life forward, but it comes at the cost of one of your greatest assets.  Making a decision actually liberates us from lots of stress and worry as to whether or not we are doing the right thing, or on the right path.  Let us take the decision to bring more joy into our lives.  If we make that choice with clear conviction a great deal of our life becomes clear.  Simple test, take any situation in your life, is it making you happy?  If the answer is no it tells you that situation, as it presently stands, will not work in your life.  If the answer is yes, that is an area of your life you should try to grow.  Not only that, but knowing the ‘end game’ allows us to stay focused when the inevitable challenges show up.  If a ship is knocked of course by a storm,  it does not give up and head back to port.  No, it adjusts its course and continues on.  We must be like a ship when the storms of life come calling.  If we find ourselves without joy, we must adjust our course and set sail as soon as possible.  The further we get off course the longer it takes to get back.  So remember to know your destination, have it firmly fixed in your mind. (writing it down may not be such a bad idea either) If you don’t know where you’re heading, you will never get there.

If you make the decision to live a life with more joy and love, you will be amazed at the power you will have over your life.  When life tries to get you down just repeat to yourself “I am determined to live a life of inner peace and joy” or whatever words strike your fancy. Make the decision, that is the first step. The rest is just figuring out how to make it work.

ATTRACT MONEY NOW!!!

This is a title of a book by Dr. Joe Vitale. You may remember him from the movie “The Secret”.  This is not a blog about making money, but about living a more rewarding life.  Well it is true money can’t buy happiness, let’s be honest, it can make life a lot less stressful. The reason I mentioned this book is that the author has agreed to make the online copy free to readers of this blog. The book itself is filled with both practical and metaphysical ideas for attracting abundance to you. I encourage all of my readers to check it out. At the price of free, what do you have to lose? Please let me know what you think.  It is another great tool to lead a positive and rewarding life!

www.attractmoneynow.com