Tag: neil panosian

YOUR FAVORITE DISCOMFORT 🙃

A few months ago I hired a personal trainer at my gym. About a month ago, she quit. Hopefully that is no reflection on me as a client. A new trainer, Mia, was assigned to me. Being very thorough, she sat down with me to better understand me and my fitness goals. One of the questions she asked was what my favorite piece of equipment was at the gym. After some deep reflection, I answered her honestly and said “The massage bed is great.”

After a chuckle between us, I answered with a few machines. Here is the lesson in this. The massage bed is great. Helps you relax and feel good. This is true of so many things in life. The help us feel comfortable. The other machines at the gym wear you out and can leave you sore for days. Just like challenges in life. Many things we do will be uncomfortable and could even hurt mentally, emotionally, or even physically long after the event is over.

Why even bother with any of that? Why not stick to only things that are easy and comfortable? In one word, growth. What kind of shape would I be in if the only machine I used at the gym was the massage bed? Sure I would be comfortable at the time, but when the time came to do anything physical, I would be no better off and may even be worse. Using the machines that cause momentary discomfort will allow our muscles to grow and be better in the future.

This is also the way it works in life. If we only stick to things that make us comfortable we will be no stronger of a person when challenges come. In fact, we may even be weaker. It is not fun to have that difficult conversation or make those tough decisions. It is easier to stay in bed than get up to go to work or clean the house. Still, it makes our life easier in the long term. Think of this next time you have to decide on your favorite discomfort.

A ROCKY START

I’m not sure how your New Year started, but I decided to set mine up for a great start. Margie and I are usually so busy it feels we only see each other in passing. To this end, I booked a hotel getaway for us. Just one night, but that way we could relax without a care and enjoy each other. There was a nice restaurant we went to. The server was quite friendly and helpful. We went back to the hotel to enjoy the swimming pool and hot tub.

Seems like a nice end to the evening. At roughly 11:30 pm, Margie was in the hot tub and I was swimming in the deep end of the cold pool. If you know anything about us, this is opposite of what you should expect. I saw a quarter at the bottom of the pool and dove down for it. As I move my arm to swim, I heard a terrible sound that can only be described as meat being ripped off the bone. I knew exactly what it was. My shoulder had been ripped out of its socket.

After what Margie called “blood-curdling scream”, i made it out of the pool. We went up to the room so I could dry off and change as I didn’t want to go in wet swim trunks. I also gave myself a shot of cologne so I wouldn’t offend. I’ll spare you the events of trip other than it was painful. Throughout this, however, I was given several great gifts.

The first was the paramedics in the ambulance. Cyrus was the man helping me. I knew they were away from their families that night and I really appreciated their efforts to assist me. You might be thinking,  “that’s their job Neil.” You would be right, but without them, it would have been a long trip to the hospital.

The nurses and doctor made sure to get me what I needed and knocked me out to put my shoulder back in place. My mother came in the wee hours of the morning to take us back to the hotel. Throughout that night, and the following morning at the breakfast buffet at the hotel, my beautiful lady was so helpful.

The point of this is that even though I was in some intense pain, and it rather ruined our calm getaway for the new year, there were so many gifts around me. The amazing medical staff, my mother and of course my beautiful lady who continues to be such a great help. In our darkest hours, it always helps to focus on the light. There will be weeks of rehab ahead and I’m going to do my best to show appreciation to those who are there for me!

IT’S ALL ABOUT THE GAINS

This weekend as many of us ponder what our New Year resolutions might be, let us frame them in a way that we focus on what we will gain. Want to quit a bad habit such as smoking? Don’t focus on ‘giving up’ cigarettes. Instead, focus on ‘gaining‘ freedom and fresh smelling clothes and better breathing and sense of taste.

Whenever making an adjustment, whether that is a healthy diet, a calm mind or anything else we are looking to accomplish, I suggest focusing on adding a positive instead of eliminating a negative. Social media is a great example of this. Many people say it is too negative. They begin to try to eliminate negative people and sources. Not a bad plan. By simply adding more positive ones, the likelihood they will see negative decreases. This is the same way life works.

Think of healthy eating. If you add eating one healthy meal a day, your stomach will have less room for junk. If you spend more time with positive people, that’s less time you can spend with negative people. Focus on the gains this coming year!

HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY!!🦸‍♂️

When I was young, I liked the cartoon Mighty Mouse. He would swoop in at the last second with his favors cry, “Here I come to save the day!” After which, he would pretty much do just that. Growing up, that’s what I wanted to be. That’s why I always worked to be the best at whatever I did. I recall winning an award for being Milwaukee’s best bartender. That was cool. I won the ‘Friendliest person in Greendale’ award… twice. Also very nice. Came with a little plaque and flowers. Nominated for best Milwaukee author. That was an honor.

All those were great, but I failed to recognize what all these were a part of. It is the greatest award that any of us pursue, and none of us will be officially recognized for. Sounds great, doesn’t it? That is being the best version of ourselves. It is an award we will chase daily. Sometimes we will come close. We will not get a plaque or flowers. Nobody will hand us a trophy. What we will get is something even more priceless. We will have peace in our mind and our heart knowing that we did the best we could. As they say, an honest man’s pillow is his peace of mind.

The reverse is also true. When we don’t give it our all. When we cut corners. Perhaps we even cheated to get ahead or were dishonest. Yes, we may accomplish the immediate results, but at what cost? That knowledge will continue to eat away at our soul until there is nothing left.

I tip my hat to those brave souls who battle to be their best everyday. Not for recognition or rewards, but for the virtue of it. For the peace of mind and for the example it sets for future generations. Those are the true super heroes. Those are the people who will truly come to save the day.

TAKE IT FROM SOMEONE WHO DIED 💀

As most of you know, I had open-heart surgery in 2022 and had a brief flirtation with death. Grateful it was only brief, but it could have been permanent. At that point, there wasn’t much i could do. The time before the surgery was a different story

I cannot assume that you have read my book, The Beat Goes On. That is the whole story of my surgery and life after death. Rather entertaining read if I say so myself. The time from when I was told I need surgery to the actual surgery itself was 2 months. That is a long time when it comes to anxiety, but a quite short time when it comes to accomplishing everything you want to do before you die.

Sitting next to this lovely lady in the movie theater, this became abundantly clear. What if I didn’t make it through surgery? What if, in these 2 months, I had to show her how much I care? How do you give someone a lifetime of love in 2 months? How do you celebrate your last Thanksgiving? Your last Christmas or ring in what could be your last New Year? You start to realize how fleeting life can be!

In a world of smart phones, watches and even rings, I think the device that best demonstrates what we are talking about here is the hourglass. The sand always goes from the top to the bottom. It slowly runs out, never going backwards. That is much like our life. It is constantly getting less and less. You will have less of it by the time you finish reading this post!

Now imagine you could not see how much sand is left in the top of the hourglass. You just new it was less and less by the second. Oh, you could guess based on the size of the hourglass, the thickness of the sand and other factors. What you would end up with us speculation at best. It could be a large hourglass with only a few grains of sand left. It could be a small hourglass packed with sand.

Our life is like that. We don’t know how much sand is left in our hourglass. All we know is that it is constantly running out. We can affect the rate to a certain degree by staying safe and healthy, but there are still factors beyond our control.

All of this to say is you don’t have time! Chase that dream now. Tell that person you love them now. As a person who had to stare down the possibility of death, and briefly experience it, let me assure you life is shorter than you think.

WANT A GREAT RELATIONSHIP? SPEAK THEIR LANGUAGE!

I’m not sure if you have read the book, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, but you definitely should. In a nutshell, it explains how different people give and receive love in different ways. Some, like myself, use words and verbal communication to express love. Some, like my lovely lady, use physical intimacy. This can be a hug, a kiss or even holding your hand. The crazy thing is people can give love in one language and receive love in another. If that isn’t confusing enough, the Languages can change throughout life!

Why is learning these love Languages so important? Here’s why. You can be showing love the best way you know how and your partner could feel like you are not showing any love at all. Do you think that could end up causing some issues between the two of you? That is why learning your partners love language is vital to a successful relationship.

Equally important is to know your love language. What makes you feel loved? Is it someone giving you time? How about giving you a hug? Maybe a meaningful gift? Doing an act of service for you? If you are thinking, “Hey, those all sound pretty good!” You are not alone. Most people can feel love in a few categories but are usually dominant in one or two. Want to find out what your love language is? How about your partner‘s? There is a fun quiz you can take together or separately in the back of the book.

When you know your partner’s love language, it is important to use that language to communicate. They will receive your love a lot more and you will be a lot less stressed. Once you know your love language you can convey that to your partner and they can feel more effective at conveying love to you. That will have them feeling a lot less stressed as well. Two people who are less stressed in a relationship with each other? That is a recipe for success!

AND NOW…A PERSONAL EXAMPLE 🙄

A few posts back we talked about how your mindset can turn a hell into a heaven and the other way around. It would seem that life sought to provide me a personal example. My 2024 Toyota Rav 4 already has a bad sensor that needed to be replaced. They informed me when I made the appointment it would take roughly 30 minutes and I could wait. So, after my 10 hour work day I made my way to the dealer. Upon arrival, I was told it would now be a 2 hour affair as they had to check other parts as well.

A few things come to mind here. Of course after a 10 hour workday I could easily be irritated about having to wait 4 times as long as I was told. I could have brought a book or some other form of entertainment. I could have arranged a ride to go home and come back when it was done. All of this would be legitimate to think and feel. It would also lead to an unhappy and stressful evening.

Instead, I am going to look at and use this time constructively. I shall avail myself to the available coffee and snacks. I will use my cell phone to write this very blog you are reading now. Most importantly, I shall focus on the fact that I am so grateful to have the vehicle I do.

Both of these sets of facts are true. They both also come with an entirely different set of feelings. Would it be better if I had my laptop? Sure. It is far easier to write on that. Am I grateful that I can still write on my phone? Absolutely!

Life is full of choices. One of the most important is what we choose to focus on. As you can see, the difference can be between feeling stressed and feeling grateful. That may not seem like a big deal in the course of an evening. If you put enough of those evenings together, it is the difference between a negative and stressful life, or one where you choose to focus on gratitude and opportunities.

YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL LIKE THAT 😍

A reminder today to be yourself. Copies are never worth more than the original. You can be the best version of who you think people want you to be and it will never be as good as the best version of who you were put here to be.

Each one of us has our own gifts and talents. Maybe you are a good listener? Maybe you are a good conversationalist? Do you cook well? It could be that you do a great job cleaning, or planning. Whatever it is that speaks to your heart, do that. You will not only find the most enjoyment in life, but you will be at your most beautiful.

CAN YOU FIGHT THIS TOUGH BATTLE? 🥊

Many people I know are facing very uncertain, and dare I say scary, futures. Many are concerned for their children. In a world that seems to be growing colder and angrier by the day. It can be tempting to walk around downtrodden, angry or with a defeatist attitude. This would not only be understandable, it would be excusable.

What we must realize is that we are always creating an example for our children and the young people coming behind us. Being able to remain loving in a world that can be anything but loving is true courage and true strength. We may feel our opportunity to live in a peaceful and loving world has been taken away from us. In some regard that may be true. What is also true is that we have been given an opportunity to demonstrate how to conquer that darkness. We do so not with mere words, but with action. We do so not by matching or surpassing their anger, but maintaining our love in the face of it.

Take advantage of the opportunity fellow warriors. Stand up and be strong. Be aggressive in your love. Be courageous in your compassion. That is the sign of a true warrior.

IT BEGINS WITH A CHOICE 

A simple choice to smile when you wake up may not seem like much. Done repetitively, it can become a lifestyle! What do you do first thing when you wake up? Go to the bathroom? Pour a cup of coffee? Many of us reach for our phones. That is about the worst thing you can do! Exposing yourself to outside influences before you have had an opportunity to determine and set your own mood is simply dangerous.

When you smile, and i would add feeling one thing you’re grateful for, YOU set the tone for your day. A simple affirmation such as,  “No matter what happens today, I will make the best of it and keep smiling.” May sound silly at first. Done for a month and it becomes who you are.

Don’t you deserve to determine your attitude towards your own life? I believe you do. The question is, do you?