WHO WERE YOU?

We often hear gurus all over telling us that our pain can be our greatest teacher. It can be rather hard to listen to when you are watching them climb into their private jet and return to their own island. I am not inferring that the rich have no problems, or that their advice is any less valid because they have wealth. If we are being honest, hearing that kind of advice from someone who has the appearance at least, of not being in pain can be hard to listen to.

 Shortly after the year 2000, as my study in self-improvement was just beginning, I had a moment that in reflection helped me grow substantially. When I was going through it, however, all I could tell you was it sucked. That is how life is sometimes. Steve Jobs said we can never connect the dots moving forward, only looking back. Sure it would be great to know how your current struggle is going to pay off in the future. It certainly would make going through it a lot easier. I guess that is where something called faith comes into play.

Back to my personal story and how it can benefit us all. Shortly after 2000 the United States Postal Service, the fine edifice where I step most of my waking hours informed me although I was a model employee, due to declining mail volume my hours would be cut to about 10 a week. What made matters better is that to receive these hours I would have to be available Monday through Saturday from 3 a.m. to 6 p.m. making it near impossible to find a second job to make up the lost hours. Luckily for me, about a month later they did realize I was an employee worth keeping and found a position for me.

Here is what really threw me, I found myself not knowing what or more to the point who I would be if I left the Post Office. That may sound like a bit of a stretch, but at the time I had been working there 13 years, roughly 50 hours a week. It became a part of my identity. In a world of corporate downsizing this can be an all to common situation. It is not limited to jobs either. Think of the end of a relationship. You fell in love and were perhaps in love for a great deal of time. You shared everything, they were not only your lover, but your best friend. All of that is exactly how it should be. What happens when that is gone? The person leaves, be it through walking away, cheating or even passing away. You feel as though a part of you has died. What then?

Just like the loss of a job, it is an end of a relationship. No matter how intense or good the relationship is, job or person, it is a weaving of two paths. Trying to keep this in perspective is one way to help us carry on. I am in no way inferring that this is an easy thing to do. The better the relationship, the more it will hurt. Even in that pain you must remember to balance that with gratitude. You had great moments some may never experience. Maybe that man that seemed so perfect for you turned out to be a no good snake. Maybe he even slept with your sister…or your brother for that matter. The fact remains you still received moments of joy and bliss out of the relationship. The fact they ruined it by being a snake simply means they gave up the right to experience more of those moments with you. Maybe someone you loved passed away? There are no opportunities to share more moments no matter how much you both would have loved that. It is time to realize how rare having someone like that in your life is. Reflect on those memories when they come up not as a sense of loss or that you will never have them again. No, reflect on them with gratitude you had the opportunity to share that with them. Maybe even offer up a word of thanks to their memory for such loving memories. Again, not saying or even imagining any of this is easy. Pain is something we get through day by day.

Lastly, and this is what helped me through my job challenge, is have people in your life that have known you before that job or relationship started. An old friend is a gift that is more priceless than gold. When I was feeling a loss of identity, I called up my good friend and former bandmate, Russ. We have know each other since we were around 13 years-old. I asked Russ a simple but bizarre question, “Who was I before the post office?” Not only did he remind me of that, he even offered some ways in which I may have lost myself due to the post office. Good friends can tell you ways in which you kind of suck without being too hurtful. \

Discovering there was a person who existed before and more important separate from, the job (again this can work for relationships as well) helped me in two important ways. First, it made me determined to keep who I was separate from what I did for a living. This can also be helpful in a relationship. Margie and I are amazing as a couple and people recognize that, but we each have our own personal identities as well. For example, if you want a great cake for your special occasion you best talk to her. Need a speech written? More my forte. The second way in which this liberated me was I realized I was free to decide who I wanted to be as a person going forward, despite whatever foolish actions the Postal Service may take. Who you are should never depend on what you do for a living or who you happen to date. Those things have a great influence on you and it is your job to make sure it is a positive one, but at the end of the day it is you who decides who you are going to become.

In closing, remember that you are not a victim in your life, but a creator. We may not have control over the actions of others and how it can impact us, but we do have complete control over how we react and how we can put the challenges to use in our lives. It will not be easy but it will definitely be worth it.

MY WEEKEND MESSAGE

Our message going into the weekend is a simple one. I won’t take up too much of your valuable Friday. The message is this – you deserve to be happy. We all deserve to be happy. One of the best ways to experience happiness yourself is to help others achieve the same.

This weekend, do your best to do these two things. First, allow yourself to be happy. Realize you deserve it. Give yourself that gift. You have been through a lot. I can say that because I know we all have. Whether you are dealing with the stress of running a multi-million dollar company or wondering if you will have enough money to pay the rent, the stress is there. Take a break. Go for walk, buy yourself a balloon or whatever else makes you happy.

The next bit is equally important. When you give yourself that gift of bliss, share it with someone else. Not only  because they too are going through challenges, but because it will amplify your own good feelings. Honestly, doesn’t helping others feel good make you feel good? I know it does for me. Have a great weekend and I look forward to sharing more with you on Monday!

LET US END THIS FIGHT

All week we have been discussing avoiding and dealing with people who bring senseless drama and negativity into our lives. This post I would like to deal with a specific argument that has gone on far too long in my opinion. The specific argument I am referring to is who created the world. I understand that this is part of many spiritual beliefs. I am neither telling you what to believe or that what you believe is not important. What I am saying is that it is not an argument worth having.

Whether you believe in the Big Bang theory, God creating the universe in 7 days or a host of other options that is all well and good. The world is here now, it exists. Arguing about who created it will accomplish nothing. It will not change the minds of those who think differently than you. That is perfectly fine. Let them believe what they believe just as they should let you believe what you believe.

What your belief on who created the world does NOT change is the responsibility of taking care of it. There are many individuals who are focused on dividing people and destroying the world we live in. It is the responsibility of all of us, regardless of our belief, is not to let that happen. We must all work together to help prevent war, strengthen the environment and promote peace and unity among all people.

YOUR WEEKEND HOMEWORK

Homework….I used to hate that word in school. Truth be told, it still conjures up a few bad memories. I promise you not only will this homework be painless, but actually enjoyable and improve your life.

Your homework is to notice the little miracles in your life. If you stop and think of how much life has really blessed you with, you may be surprised.

In my own life for example, I think my lady is a miracle. More to the point the situation between us is. Here is a woman who is creative, silly, smart and sexy. We somehow live in the same country, in the same state, in the same city. Not only that, circumstances brought us together and guess what? She found me attractive for reasons I still can’t explain, and we feel in love. When you think of the odds of that happening it is a miracle.

Even tonight I planned on a nice stroll this evening with my mom. As we looked up it was a full supermoon. The sky didn’t have a cloud and the stars shined in all their glory. The odds of us choosing to walk today, the moon being so big and full and the sky clear are slim to none. All those events on the same night?

This may sound a bit rose-colored glasses to some, and I suppose to some extent it may be. When you stop and think of all the odds that had to line up for your life to be the way it is, you will realize there is no shortage of miracles. Even a simple flower you notice as you pass by…a miracle.

So look out for miracles this weekend. Feel free to share your favorite miracles with us here at secret2anamazinglife.com!

SUCH AN AMAZING COMMUNITY


I seldom pass on an opportunity to brag on my community. This I do for two very important reasons. First, no matter where you live, there is always enough bad press. It seems like if people have a compliment they tell someone, but if they have a complaint they tell everyone. I guess I can understand that, negative experiences seem to impact us intensely. When we have a great experience it tends to be appreciated and quickly forgotten. I like to capture and share all the good things that happen inside of a community that everyone may not know about. I encourage you to do the same for your community. Growing a feeling of positivity can give all of your neighbors something nice to talk about instead of what is not working in the community, unless of course it is to come up with solutions.
The second reason I enjoy sharing what is great about the city of West Allis, where I live with my beautiful lady Margie, is there are quite a few people who need to get a fair share of credit. Case in point, the subject of this post. This morning I attended ‘Coffee with the mayor’. For those of you who did not see my last post about this amazing event, allow me to give you a recap. Our mayor, Dan Devine, takes time out of his busy schedule roughly once a month to meet with the citizens of the city. This is an informal gathering that anyone is allowed to attend. The mayor informs you of events happening in the city and you are free to ask questions. It is very informative and interactive. It is one of the many impressive things our mayor does to make our city great.
Today, however, there were even more reasons to be grateful for attending such an event. First on the list was the venue. It was held at a place aptly called “West Allis Cheese and Sausage”. This restaurant is owned by a gentleman named Mark Lutz. Mark has invested in his community in many ways. First he purchased several properties in the area including a restaurant he leases across the street, a butcher shop that will be open this year and he has just purchased the building next door. Last I heard he planned to use this for catering, but I am not certain. Mr. Lutz also invests in the community with his time and organizational skills. While we were there I counted no less than 3 events they are a part of that benefit everything from food pantries to the coming dog park. Mark Lutz is a great pillar of the community.
Next up was Jon Cervantes. Jon is the head of the East Allis Neighborhood Association. It is a neighborhood group that I am proud to be a member of. In addition to various projects throughout the neighborhood, that association is a catalyst for those looking to better get to know their neighbors. To that end, Mr. Cervantes hosts monthly coffee gatherings of his own and parks and other places in the neighborhood where people can meet and share stories of the neighborhood.
Lastly, in attendance was my good friend Alice Behnke. Alice runs the Facebook group, ‘West Allis News, Events & Stuff.’. It is all things West Allis. She keeps it both informative and positive. There is news of whatever is happening in the city, with a rule to make sure there is no negative bashing of the city. Alice works tirelessly to interview businesses, communicate with elected officials and share news to keep everyone informed.
In addition to these amazing people, there were lots of concerned neighbors filled with both curiosity and questions. Margie, my mother and I all enjoyed a great meal and learned a lot of information about the city.

MY YOUTUBE VIDEO FROM PARADISE – 3 WAYS TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE WITH A VACATION.


I have just returned from the Luxury Bahia Principe in Jamaica. It was an amazing time. In the course of planning this trip I learned 3 amazing ways that vacations change your life before you even leave your house.
If you use these same 3 elements you can instantly add more joy to your life starting today! By the time your toes hit the sand your heart will already be full of happiness. Click the link below and watch the 2 minute video right now. By the time the video is over, you will know exactly what to do to start adding joy to your life right now!

CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE VIDEO AND LEARN THE THREE SECRETS

IT MAKES YOU THINK

Today I looked down in my car and what did I find? A DVD I had rented from the West Allis Public Library on Bob Marley that was supposed to be returned days earlier. As I happened to be out driving around, I decided to return the movie and take care of any fines that may have accumulated. As a dedicated life-long reader, I absolutely love going to the library. You have access to almost every piece of information you can desire and it does not cost you anything. Unless of course you forget a Bob Marley biography in the back of your car for two weeks, and then it runs you $5.

My point is that the library is a goldmine when it comes to individuals seeking knowledge of any kind. The library I use in my hometown of West Allis Wisconsin is particularly amazing. They have a separate floor just for children’s learning. They have several computers you can use to access the internet, print documents or anything else you may need. There are also conference rooms available to rent, educational programs on a wide variety of topics not to mention the volumes of different media available to rent, including an amazing book called A Happy Life for Busy People.

On this day, however, I learned something far more important. After paying the fine for my forgetfulness I was on my way out of the library when I noticed a mother and son behind me. I stopped to hold the door for them. It was then I noticed the young man had down syndrome. His mother was leading him by the hand informing him it was time to go. “We have had enough learning for one day.” she informed him. It was his reply that stopped me in my tracks. “I love to learn mom!” he reminded her.

It was then I began to think of all the different students of life the library caters to. I must confess I had not stopped to consider those with special needs and how eager they thirst for knowledge. It was then I felt a great sense of appreciation and respect for those who spend their time and have the patience to bring the world of knowledge to those who may have extreme difficulty in assimilating it. This mother had taken her son to the library and helped him increase his knowledge and expand his mind. Which happened to be the same reason I was there. I thought of the patience it must take parents and special education teachers. They are helping empower those others may cast aside. They are not only helping them learn, but giving them reasons to be proud of themselves. I know how great it feels to learn something new and obviously, this young man felt the same.

It gave me a great sense of pride to have such a brave and hard-working young man as a part of my community. Last post we spoke of not giving in to your limits and this young man was doing just that. It made me so happy and proud to have amazing parents, teachers and young men like him in my community. It also made me appreciate the Public Library in yet another way. If you know a parent or teacher of a child with special needs, please take a moment to thank them for their work and dedication to make the world a better place.

1 THING YOU MUST MAKE A PART OF YOUR LIFE!

By the time you read this I will be higher than you can imagine! Ok, a little bit of clarification as it does say Jamaica and I did mention being high. As this post will be released I will be in an airplane at roughly 30,000 feet in the air on my way to Runaway Bay Jamaica to stay at the Luxury Bahia Principe resort. My beautiful Margie and me will be putting all of our endeavors on hold for the next 5 days to simply enjoy life and sharing it with each other. There will still be a blog post every day so I encourage you to come visit this site while I am gone.

It took us a lot of rescheduling and saving to accomplish this goal. It will be Margie’s first time both out of the country and to Jamaica. I could not be more excited to be able to bring both to her. For those of you who either know me personally, read this blog or have read my book, you know that I am happiest when I am somewhere tropical. To be able to do this while being joined by a woman who has brought so much to my life and loves me in a way I have never been loved before will be an experience I can’t wait to have. If I thought I enjoyed the tropics before, I know sharing that with her will only make it better!

Other than giving you a reason to wish you were me, (and when I think about going on a tropical vacation with the most beautiful woman in the world I must admit to being a little bit jealous of myself) why am I sharing this experience with all of my readers? I am doing so because this it represents several aspects that are vital to living an amazing life. I am going to highlight just a few below and encourage you to make them a part of your life right away!

The first thing a vacation does for you is give you something to look forward to. This may seem like a no brainer but let us take a little closer look at how that benefits us all. Having a goal in the future can motivate us in the present. While saving up for this vacation, I never knew how much money I could possibly save. While working hard to save lose change, take on extra DJ jobs, and working hard to sell more books, I was amazed at how financially motivated I could be. The same held true for my workouts. Greg Plitt(R.I.P), who has some amazing fitness and motivation videos, said having a goal in the future makes the present more accountable. In other words, I know it is all too easy to say, “I don’t feel like working out today. I’ll work out extra hard tomorrow.” If you have a goal in the future, however, you have just lost 1 day you could work towards that. I am no way in beach shape yet, but I wouldn’t be this far if I didn’t have a goal.

Another thing having an event like this planned brings to your life is a feeling of hope. In the dark and dreary days of Wisconsin winters I would lay in bed at night and Margie and I would watch videos of Jamaica and our resort. I even put the weather on my phone so I could switch to something more pleasant. One day that difference was actually -26 degrees for where I was to 84 degrees where I was going. Knowing what I have to look forward to kept me motivated. Even if you can only save a few dollars a month and it may be quite a while before you go, this will still bring joy and hope.

Lastly, this was fun! In addition to watching videos, Margie and I would talk about what we wanted to eat, what we were going to wear and what events we wanted to do while we were there. Sharing this fun and enjoyable conversation sure beats discussing what we saw on the evening news that night.

I encourage all of you to plan a vacation with someone you love right now. It could be family, friends or that special someone. Doing so will bring so much joy to your life even before your toes hit the sand!

ALTRUISTIC IS SELFISH… AND THAT’S OK


The definition of the word altruistic is as follows – showing a disinterested and selfless concern for the well-being of others; unselfish
How then, can I claim that being altruistic is selfish? For one simple reason. When you are down, when life seems to kick you as you are down, nothing can lift your feelings as much as helping someone else. Certainly, that is not the only time you should limit your acts of helping others, but it still holds true. Most of you know my story about how my life was turned around by helping at a meal program feeding the homeless. It not only gave me a new and refreshing perspective, but the act of being able to do something for someone else feels good.
That should not be your only motivation to do good, but keep that in mind. The more you do for others, the better you will feel. Thus, being altruistic is both unselfish and selfish at the same time. Why do I think that is ok? If, in an attempt to help yourself feel a little happier you go around doing random acts of kindness for others, the world would be a significantly better place.
As with anything we share here, do not take my word on this. Feel free to test the theory yourself. For 21 days, do one act of kindness with no expectation in return. Not financial compensation, not a promotion, do not even worry about getting a simply ‘thank you’. You may even want to record your acts to make sure you do not miss a day. After 3 weeks notice if your own happiness has improved.

WHAT I’VE BEEN LIVING LATELY

As an author and motivational speaker, people often come up to me and ask things such as, “how do I fix my life?” Or “what is the amazing wisdom of the day?” I don’t really mind answering these questions, but find it amazing people are looking for instant answers to problems created over years. I liken it to eating junk food for years then asking a trainer to get you in shape for your wedding… next week. I presume those of you in the fitness field no doubt have stories like this.

Understanding that we live in a nanosecond world where there is an instant fix for almost everything, I do my best to supply individuals with some universally applicable nugget of wisdom. There are a few powerful things that can change a life when applied with conviction.

Lately, I have been thinking about the quote above. All we really have is today. We cannot change the past no matter how hard we try. If we wish to correct something from the past, we must take different action…today.

The future will arrive when it does. If we wish to be prepared, or are worried about some upcoming events, the only way we can affect our future is through the actions we take…today.

This moment is all we have, but it is very powerful. It can help correct, though not undo, our past. It can affect and direct our future. What matters is what we do today. Make sure whatever we do, that we do it to the best of our ability. An honest man’s pillow is his peace of mind.