Tag: neil panosian

WHAT LEADS TO POVERTY

How many times have we heard that poverty is a state of mind? It can be quite tempting to snear at that when we are looking at all of the bills we have to pay or a bank balance that is less than we hoped. Still, like any cliche, there is a large dose of truth to this.

Looking at this quote from Seneca above, we will find the key to avoiding poverty is being content. I might swap out that word for the word ‘grateful’ but let us take a look at how this works either way.

The other day I had coffee with my mother. We discussed vacations we had been on and how much fun we had. We could have focused on the fact that we couldn’t swing another vacation presently, how much more our costs to go on vacation or even how we wished we were enjoying our coffee that morning on a tropical beach. How would this thinking have left us feeling? Dismayed? Wanting? Slightly depressed? We could even have felt angry at the rising costs of everything.

This morning I enjoyed coffee at home across from this beautiful lady. We only had a short amount of time to enjoy it as she is working for a market she has coming up. We could have felt sad we didn’t have more time with each other. We could have been bummed that we didn’t have time to make it to a nice coffee shop. She could have been overwhelmed about the market. We could have even thought about how we would rather be on vacation! We would have felt cheated, overwhelmed and generally unhappy.

Luckily, all of us are rather versed in the thinking Seneca advocated above. My mother and I were grateful for the memories we were able to discuss. That meant we had experienced some good times. We were also grateful at the nice messages written on our cups. Margie and I were grateful that in the middle of life’s chaos, we were able to carve out some time to love each other over coffee.

It may sound like a subtle shift to some of you. Let us look at what that shift resulted in. Both situations had people we felt fortunate for what they had. Could it have been more? Sure it always could be. It could always be less. When you focus on what you have verses what you lack, you feel grateful and rather fortunate.

When you stop and think about it, our life is our emotions. How we feel is really how we are. If we have all the money in the world but are angry and depressed all of the time, our life is anger and depression. If we do not have as much as we would like, or even as much as we need in some cases, but we still are able to see the beauty and joy in each moment, our life will be beauty and joy. Life is really what we choose to focus on. Find ways to be content and grateful and you will never feel poor.

TAYLOR SWIFT DILEMMA

We live in what can only be described as a very unusual time. Maybe the years I have been alive are starting to creep up on me. Before I become the man who yells, “Stay off my lawn!” I want to reflect on something that I find both amusing and perplexing.

At times, it seems there is a new celebrity in the headlines every day. Some for good things, most for things they would rather not be known for. A situation seems to happen time after time. When someone is an up and coming star, the world cheers for them. Once they achieve a certain amount of fame, people look to tear them down. This may not be new to the times, but with the advent of new technologies, it seems to be happening quicker and more intensely than ever. Keeping this in mind, there are some things that we ask of celebrities that are almost unfair.

We are going to use Taylor Swift for an example as I do not think anyone has more followers or influence than her right now. Taylor Swift is primarily a singer and performer. When major world issues outside of music come up, people are asking why she does not use her fame and influence to weigh in on those issues. This creates an interesting dilemma. On the one hand, using your fame for a purpose greater than material gain should be admirable. On the other side will be people telling her to “Stay in her lane.” Both of these hold some merit. There is a motivational speaker I listen to. He is a psychologist and has some insightful thoughts on the human mind and how it works. He often strays into more political issues and environmental sciences and ends up sounding like a fool.

What should we expect celebrities to do? More to the point, what should we do with the influence we have? First, we should understand that we are offering an opinion. We may not have all the facts and must consider everyone’s unique experiences and circumstances. Second, we should, as Bob Marley says in the photo above, make sure our intentions are pure. If we make a mistake we should admit it. If someone else does, we should offer them a little bit of grace. This is especially so if their intentions were pure.

Next time you are tempted to weigh in on an issue, stop to think of this. We may not have millions of followers or the press reporting our every move, but we should act like we do. Be responsible with our words and actions. When we hear an opinion we may not agree with, give that person a little understanding and compassion. We would want them to do the same for us.

A SELF-IMPROVEMENT TOOL I LEARNED FROM A URINAL?!

This title sounds like an April fools joke. It is, however, April 2nd. The picture is what I was shown when I inquired where the men’s room was when Margie and I were in Jamaica. This, I also thought was an April Fools joke. Except is was February or March. Which month I wasn’t sure, but I was sure that men’s room was where everyone could see me conducting my business.

What does all of this talk about men’s rooms have to do with self-improvement? It came down to a conversation I had with a friend of Margie and mine. He asked me where I had been. When I informed him I was using the gents, he asked me a question that had never been brought up before. “What urinal did you use?” I stared blankly not sure if this was an opening for a joke. It was not. “The one nobody else was using. ” was my honest answer.

He went on to explain he only used the one in a corner so nobody could sneak up and jump him. I have had a few odd things happen in the men’s room, but I have never been attacked. Never really considered that as an option. This man had obviously had different life experiences than I.

That’s when it occurred to me how different every aspect of life can be based on your previous life experiences. This is not just true of where you conduct your business in the men’s room. It can be whether you see challenges as something to stop you, or as opportunities. Whether you see the glass half empty or half full.

Another important aspect to this is that by listening to other’s experiences, we can change how we view something completely. I still do not look for the safest bathroom, but I can appreciate having that outlook.

It is for this reason it is important to surround ourselves with a variety of different people. Each one brings a unique perspective formulated by their unique life experiences. It is also important to consider whether their unique perspectives can add to your life or detract. How does this relate to your life? Has someone ever completely changed the way you look at an area of life?

DAY 2 OF A MONTH OF GRATITUDE!

To catch you up to date, we are doing a month of gratitude. Today is day 2. Feel free to go back and read yesterday’s post as well. We love to hear your answers in the comments that follow today’s post.

Ah technology. Many people curse this, but few stop and appreciate all we have to be thankful for. Personally, I have many. We will start with a popular one – cell phones. Yes, they have their drawbacks, but think of all they bring us. I can stay in contact with my lovely lady. That helps me worry less. You can retrieve information at the drop of a hat. It reduces the amount of graffiti on rest room stalls.

I also love the technology in my new car. I am not a fan of the cold weather. My new car allows me to start the car from my cell phone! By the time I get in, the heated seats and steering wheel are already warm. Two more technology items I am grateful for! They make winter so much more!

How about you? What technology are you especially grateful for? There are so many to choose from! I would love to hear what you think!

IT STARTS TODAY! COME JOIN THE FUN!

Above is a list of 30 days of gratitude. We did this a few year’s back and many of you asked for a repeat. We are going to take one day at a time. I’ll share my personal answer and you are welcome to do the same. Each day we will explore something new to be grateful for!

Our first answer involves one of the most powerful senses  – smell! Do you know often realtors bake chocolate chip cookies in houses they are showing? It gives the perspective buyers a feeling of home. Smells have a unique path in our brains. That is why a scent can bring up a memory.

There are many different smells I am grateful for. I love the smell of damp earth when I am walking out in nature. I love the smell of a diner when you walk in. That mix of eggs, toast and coffee. I love the scents of coconut and vanilla. Anything that reminds me of vacation.

How about you? What are some of the smells you are grateful for? Are there some that bring back great memories? Share with us in the comments below!

USE YOUR GPS!

I like this quote. It is an easy way for us to think when we encounter a challenge in life. It is much like encountering a closed road. We would not throw our hands up and abandon the trip. We should do the same for our life and our goals. We can adjust the route. Maybe take a detour, but keep our eyes on the destination.

This year, let us embrace the detours and see what we can learn along the way. Success is never linear. When we experience a delay, it is not a denial. It just may be a detour. Although these are seldom appreciated at the moment, it may be just what we need.

THE PERFECT RELATIONSHIP? ELEMENTARY MY DEAR WATSON

One of my best skills, and the one I am asked about most often, is the ability to develop rapport with others. For years I recommended reading How to Win Friends and Influence People. That is my favorite book and I have read no less than 10 times. It has some great clues, but did not give the full picture.

Dale Carnegie was not the relationship master I had solely drawn from. The other was notorious for not having good relationships. Clues were exactly what lead to this revelation while I was in the shower moments ago. It seems that is where all of our good thinking happens.

One of my favorite movies of my youth was Young Sherlock Holmes. It gives the childhood back story of one of the world’s greatest detectives. That, my friends, is exactly what creating rapport and fostering great relationships takes! You must become a great detective.

In Sherlock Holmes stories and movies, he always tells you the observations and assertions he uses to solve a case. People are one big detective case in themselves. The more we observe to learn, the better our chances of  a great interaction with them will be.

This can be noticing small details such as what their clothes can tell you. Are they using their right or left hand predominantly? What turn of phrase do they seem to use often? They may not give us all of the answers, but can give us clues to explore.

We could spend hours breaking this down, but instead I encourage you to try it out today. Give yourself two distinct challenges. First, pick a person you do not know that well. It could be a person you run into in a service capacity, a coworker or anyone else. Make as many observations on them as you can. Take mental notes and see what they can tell you by putting them all together. Tougher still, try doing this with someone you already know. See what things you can learn that you don’t already know. The better you know them, the tougher the case, but the bigger the rewards!

Treating relationships as cases to be solved may sound rather crude, but it can lead to an astounding deepening of connection. It may also surprise you with how many things you miss. Clues that can make cheering them up, buying the perfect gift and growing closer to them easier than you could ever imagine.

LIFE… THE END 😳

This picture, or group of pictures, is truly worth 1000 words. How many of us are like this lady? Chasing all of the material goods, grabbing all that we can.  Then, with arms full, she discovers she has reached the end of her life. She does have an arm full of riches,but what good will it do her then? The moral here is fairly obvious. Do not spend you whole life just chasing material wealth.

There are 2 other points that are important to add to this. First, while she is chasing the material goods, her eyes are locked onto what she is chasing. Not looking at the green grass, the blue sky or anything else. I’m not sure if that was intentionally done by the artist, but it makes a good point. How many of us focus on chasing what we do not have, never stopping to look at all the beauty around us? We settle for a feeling of lack. Instead, we should focus on the wealth we do have. That could be the love of our family, friends or someone special. If you are really lucky, like me, you have all three! The wealth of health. Even if it is not perfect, we are still blessed with a great amount of it.

The other point is that she is old in the last picture. Either that or she died her hair Grey. This is really a best case scenario. We never know when we will reach ‘the end’ sign in our life. That is why it is so important to enjoy the journey. Be thankful for what you do have while chasing what you want.

PICTURES ARE IMPORTANT 📸

Many of us, dare I say most, do not like having their picture taken. When I look at my picture, it usually resembles some kind of mutant from a B-movie. It doesn’t help the case that the lady in my life, whom I am usually lucky enough to be standing by, is one of those fortunate souls that looks amazing no matter what.

If we put our egos and vanity aside, we must ask ourselves what the purpose of pictures is even for. It is usually to capture a moment or a memory. Sadly, lately Margie and I seem to be attending quite a few funerals. One of the things you see at most of them is picture boards featuring memories of the deceased. When you see people looking at them, it is one of the few moments people are smiling. For a brief moment they are taken back to a moment they shared with the person they are now missing so much.

Wouldn’t it be a shame if there were few, or none, of these memories available? Sure we may be caught making a silly face, or scratching our butt, but that is what makes life amusing. Having those memories will serve as little treasures of joy when the pain of loss seems unbearable.

This year, feel free to capture as many memories as you can. Even little videos where you have the sound of someone’s voice. Make your appearance in them, even if you think you look like you came from a B-movie set or are scratching your backside. It would be a shame to be left with no memories and then it’s too late.

WE ARE ALL MAD HERE 🎩

This quote from Alice In Wonderland applies as much to the real world as to the world of Wonderland. How many times throughout the day do you encounter someone and say to yourself “That person must be mad!“ Usually it might be something a little more verbally intense, but in the same vein.

This is the interesting thing about this whole situation. You could really benefit by thinking of the real world as some kind of Wonderland! That grumpy coworker is just a character in the story. It may even help to imagine them looking the part. Challenges at the office turn into situations you have to overcome to get home. Just like Alice did when she was stuck in Wonderland!

This shift in the way you look at the world may not seem like such a big thing. It may even seem a little silly, but that’s the point. If you can go from stressed and angry to amused and silly, that is a win for you and your life! Imagine your life as some kind of fantastical fairytale world and all of the people in it characters. It will lessen the stress and increase the amusement.

Never forget, we are all a little mad here.