Midweek! How are we doing on not only taking care of ourselves, but those around us? Just a quick reminder that it takes very little of your energy to be compassionate and encouraging to yourself and others. That little amount of energy can have a great impact on the quality of someone else’s day, but yours as well. As a bonus, the energy we expend is returned to us with the joy we bring to others.
What small thing do you plan on doing for those in your life? One little thing to encourage or inspire someone? Please share with the rest of us!😀
I love this quote by Leo Tolstoy. So often we are tempted to complain about the world and the state that it is in. Whether we are foolishly blaming a political party or race of people for the world’s trouble, or just venting out loud, we are missing the point. *spoiler alert* no political party, no matter how much we dislike them, gets together to figure out how to destroy the world. *spoiler alert 2* No race, culture or religion is filled with evil people whose soul focus is to destroy your way of life* These are just brainwashing techniques used to keep you in fear so your mind and emotions can be controlled.
If there is no specific “us against them” to rally against, how can we change the world? He is a short answer – we can’t. Here is a second short answer – we should not. Here is what I mean. In any relationship, you should never Focus on changing the other person. This is why many marriages fail.They have the right to live as they see fit and so do you. Expanding that to our global community, people have the right, so long as they are not directly harming others, to live, love and worship as they see fit. It is not on job, nor our responsibility to change them just because we do not agree with them. Just as we should not have to conform to their ways either.
If we can’t, nor should, change others, how can we change the world? Take advice from Mr. Tolstoy. We change ourselves. That is all we have complete control over. This works to change the world in 2 ways.
First, we lead by example. Parents, this especially true for you. Children may rarely listen to what you say, but they will always watch what you do. It is not just Parents that have this responsibility. We are all being watched everyday. Especially in this world of social media and everyone walking around with cameras in their pockets. Make sure your actions positively inspire others. A great question to ask yourself is, “Would I be happy if everyone acted like me?” Before you are quick to think of how great that would be, stop and consider your faults. Would we like everyone to judge and insult based on religious or political affiliation? Would we want everyone to be quick tempered? To drive without using their turn signals?
The other way changing ourselves works to change the world is even more powerful, in my opinion. That is the law of reciprocation. You may have heard it stated as “whatever you sow, you reap” or “what you do comes back to you” However you word it, what we put out into the world becomes part of the world. If we are judgemental of others, the world becomes more judgemental. If we are harsh with our words, the world becomes a colder harsher place. This is the key to positively transforming the world.
Whenever we love others, we make the world more loving. When we stand up for the repressed and abused, the world becomes less tolerant of those behaviors. Whenever we allow those we disagree with to live as they see fit, the world becomes more loving and accepting. The only way we can truly do this is one person at a time, and that person is us. The only way we can change the hearts of the masses, is to first change our own. As Leo Tolstoy said, the only way we can change the world is by changing ourselves.
Just a reminder that in life, on any given day, we have the option to be grateful. It doesn’t matter how bad your situation is, or how much you would like it to be different. If we choose, and it is a choice, we can find what will allow us to feel grateful.
Even while striving to improve, it is vital to keep this in mind. Feeling stuck at your job, and would really like a new one? While you look and prepare, feel grateful 🙏 for having a job. Things not going well with someone at home? As you look to improve that relationship, be grateful you have someone to work with. Even the pain of losing someone we really love can make us realize how grateful we should feel for having loved so deeply.
This weekend, find that one thing, or a many things as you can, to be grateful for. Share some with the community here if you like. Then, just relax and really feel the gratitude for them. Get lost in it. Relish it. Have a great weekend my friends!😀
When I was young, my grandmother used to make baked chicken legs. Trays of them! All with Open Pit BBQ sauce. She passed away many years ago. Since then, I found other chicken, and sauces I enjoy. Still, there was something that the thought of that chicken that took me back to being a kid.
Fast forward to last night. I was relaxing, watching the NFL draft. Margie, the love of my life, surprised me by making… you guessed it…baked chicken legs with Open Pit BBQ sauce! She even added some Mac and cheese to complete the memory. Did it ever take me back!
It is good to enjoy a meal, do a certain activity, or go a certain place to reconnect with those good memories. A second bonus of this delicious memory was the realization, and gratitude for, the fact that I have had 2 amazing women who are great Cooks in my life. Is there a memory you can connect with? Take some time to do so today!
If you make becoming the best version of yourself your goal, you will succeed in every area of your life. Let us take a second and think of this. If we become the best version of ourselves at work, that will make us one of the best employees. Become the best version of yourself in your friendship? Who wouldn’t want to have a friend who is the best listener, best conversationalist they can be?
This leads us to the area in which this succeeds the greatest. Being our best selves in our intimate relationship will catapult that relationship to new heights! It is my first advice to anyone having relationship trouble. Work harder on yourself than even on your relationship. Why? You will be bringing your best to the person you love. This will do one of two things. It will either impress them with your effort and improvement, which is what we hope. Even if the relationship ends, you will save yourself the worst emotion. That emotion is regret. There will be no “would have” or “should have”. You will know you brought the best of yourself to the relationship. You also will be setting yourself up the best for the future.
If you are overwhelmed and wondering where to start, just start with yourself. By improving yourself, you will be improving every area of your life. This one habit will improve every area of your life!
Multi-tasking… one of the biggest lies perpetuated to the masses. We may think 60,000 thoughts a day. We can only focus on one thing at a time. Don’t believe me? Try it. You may bounce back and forth quickly, but you will still only be able to focus on the one thing.
The same thing with doing something. You may bounce back and forth between activities quickly, but you are still only doing one at any given moment. The more you spread yourself around the less you are actually puttinginto anything.
To conceptualize this concept, I picture a scale. You know those ones with a cup on either side. On one side would be the quantity of activities you are pursuing. On the other side, the quality you are bringing to each activity you are pursuing. It I’d an inverse relationship. Not only will you bring more quality by focusing on one activity at a time, but you will actually get more done in the long run! Next time you are tempted to multi-task,picture that scale with the 2 cups. Then ask yourself, “Am I looking to bring quality or quantity to the world?
We all have them. People who just seem not to like us for whatever reason. Sometimes these people seem to not like anyone. You hear them when you’re out, or maybe at the office. They are constantly highlighting everyone’s faults. How annoying is that?
You may be thinking that your life would be better without any of these people. The secret to an amazing life, however, is learning to use everything in life to our advantage. This includes negative emotions and situations, as we have discussed in the past. It also includes these negative people. How can we put them to work for us?
Listen to what your haters have to say about you. Often, it is blown up andexaggerated, but there may be a hint of truth in it. They may be pointing out a character flaw that your friends are too polite to mention. Here is another great idea that I often use. If I am trying to start a new habit such as eating healthy, or trying to stop a bad habit such as eating junk food, the first people I’ll tell are my enemies. Why? They will be ones who will watch you at every turn looking for you to mess up. That way they will be working for you by making sure you stick to your new self-improvement goals!
Next time you are tempted to be angeredby, or frustrated by, your haters, put them to work! Take an honest look in the mirror and see if their complaints have a ring of truth to them. Even if they don’t, it is a great reminder to speak good of everyone. Also, use them to help you stick to your goals. They will help you improve your life without even knowing!
Many people forget that the weekend is a great time to make progress on their life goals. Yes,I get it. You have just worked all week and want to relax,and you should. Still, if we hope to see any progress in life,we must take action.
I work 50 hours a week at my day job. I also DJ on Sunday. Guess how I feel a good deal of the time? If your answer was “What is tired Alex?” (mynod to the show jeopardy) you would be correct. Most nights I would love nothing more than to come home and collapse in the arms of the lady I love. If I did that, I might not be as physically tired, but I would have no spiritual satisfaction.
Although writing a blog every day and working on my fourth book, to say nothing of promoting both, takes time from an already busy schedule, it also provides satisfaction. Without the action I take, my life would feel unfulfilled. Actions give us a feeling of progress. That can lead to momentum. So write a page towards that novel you dreamt of creating. Start on that painting. Work on that business plan.
It is important to get rest, but make sure you are also taking action toward reaching your goals. It will give your life a sense of meaning and you a feeling of fulfillment.
Being happy. One thing we often put off. Make sure the work gets done, then we will be happy. Wait until this happens, or that happens then we will celebrate. This is some of the most backwards thinking we can have and why we find ourselves in the state we do today.
I like the thought above – “Be happy. You never know how much time you have left.”That is so true. How many celebrities can you think of who died young? How many people in your own life did not have as long as they may have thought?
There used to be a show on television called 1000 Ways to Die. It showed the unique and often ridiculous ways people met their demise. I never really considered how many ways there are to die. By the end of this show’s run they had shown 500. That’s still a lot. The point is, with all of these ways to take the last train out of town, we should be thrilled every day it leaves the station without us! We should not need a reason or a goal to achieve, to make us happy.
One of the great secrets of an amazing life is switching expectations for appreciation. Instead of chasing happiness this weekend, why don’t we try sitting still and appreciating it. Look around and find all of the beauty and things we can be grateful for. Even if that is just that we haven’t appeared on 1000 ways to die. Although, if we did, chances are we wouldn’t be able to watch our own episode.
There are many things to put off. Being happy is not one of them. When you get to the end of your life, do you want to regret not enjoying it? You may think you have time to fall in love with your life, but do you? Truth is, we don’t know. When I discovered that I needed open-heart surgery, I only had about 2 months to enjoy before that. You never know when life will surprise you with a challenge to did not see coming. If there is one thing to do today, that is to be happy.
If you saw your friend putting all of his money in this machine, what would you do? You watch him take dollars out of his pocket and feed the machine, press a button and then get frustrated when nothing happens. Would you stop him? Would you point out how putting hard-earned money into a machine that is “out of order” is not only a waste, but a rather stupid course of action?
If you are a good friend I hope you would. Would you put your money in that machine? I’m guessing you are thinking to yourself, “no way! I work way too hard for my money to do something so stupid!” You would be right to think so.
What about your time, emotional and mental health? How many people, places and things do we keep investing our time, money and physical, mental and emotional health in even though they are “out of order”? It may not be so obvious because they don’t have a sign on them, but we know they are there. You keep lending money to that friend who can never hold down a job. You keep listening to your friend that just spreads negativity and gossip. You continue to go to that job that is sucking the joy out of your soul.
Think of your life and how many out of order machines you are feeding. The scary part is that it is not money you are losing. Although, that can be part of it as in the case of our friend who can’t hold down the job. No, you are losing something far more precious. You are losing time. You are putting part of your life in an “out of order life vending macine”! Stop doing that. Think of your life and what things might be wasting your time and energy.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 