Tag: Neil Panoisan

SHINE ANYWAY!

There are many things in this world that confuse me. One of the greatest is that people are offended and irritated by other people’s happiness. We should celebrate one another’s happiness. There are so many reasons for this, that I cannot imagine why you would not want to do it. Think of going to a restaurant where a stranger is having a birthday party. I have actually heard people complain that singing happy birthday disturbed their dinner. Here is an idea, why not sing along? One, singing along would lift your spirit. Two, can you imagine how it would feel for you to have a total stranger singing Happy Birthday to you? It would just add a little more joy to an already happy occasion. Why rain on someone else’s parade?

Simply, when you celebrate the joys of others, you have more joy to celebrate in life. When you are envious or irritated by the joy of others, you have more in your life to be troubled by. We cannot control what happens in our life, much less the life of others. What we have complete control over is how we react to what happens. If we choose to be irritated, our life will be less enjoyable. If we celebrate every joy we see as if it was our own and feel grateful for all the joy in the world, our life will be filled with more joy and gratitude. Which life would you rather live?

The picture mentions one other important point. That is that this irritation can result from someone who is not quite healed. When you break up it is hard to see other couples loving. It can be as though through their love they are pouring salt on your wounded heart. That is only one way of looking at it. It could also be that they are giving you a picture of hope. That despite your unfortunate experience in the world of love, there is hope that things could work out well in the future and here is an example of how. The same can be true with people who have abundance when we are lacking. Someone with lots of friends when we are lonely. Someone healthy when we are not. It may be that their joy is giving us hope and a reminder that things will not always be tough. When you share in their joy, it often helps you make it through your tough times. When you resent other people’s happiness it not only makes you look like a jerk, but darkens your life even further.

Celebrate the joy in other people’s lives. If someone is irritated by your joy, give them some and do not let it dampen your celebration of life. Those folks are often the ones who need a little love and compassion the most.

MANY PATHS UP THE MOUNTAIN

We touched on this earlier in the week. We are going to take a little deeper dive into the subject today. I want to start with a fitness analogy because it is my belief that physical improvement mirrors self-improvement rather well. If you are a trainer looking to help someone get in shape, your best chance at success is to find an activity that person enjoys. It is not as though only one activity will get you in shape. Some people like running, some people like walking. Some go to the gym. Some work out at home. All of these will help get you in shape. Alas, there are many people who say their way is the best. It might be the best…for them. I think we can all appreciate that there are many different ways to improve our physical fitness. At the end of the day they all lead to better physical health.

If this is so easy to understand with physical fitness, why is it so difficult to understand with religion and politics? Someone can practice a different faith than you and still lead them to a greater sense of peace and connection with their creator. If what they practice helps them become a better version of themselves for their family, community and themselves, who cares if it is different than ours? Same with politics. Yes, we have different beliefs on how things should be run. At the end of the day I think we all want a safe, affordable place to live where we are free to think and be any way that does not harm others. Rather than screaming at each other for being different, why not find ways in which our different approaches lead to the same goal?

This happens even among self-improvement teachers and coaches. “My method works the best!” you will hear someone claim. Maybe it does for them and a select group of others. A different method may work better for others. That is why I listen to many different speakers. You can hear a message many times and it will not resonate with you. Then you hear a person explain it just such a way that it finally clicks with you. Would you waste your time screaming at all the other people that they are wrong, or would you accept that their method may work for people who are different than you? This seems like a commons sense question, but it should be asked more often.

Can you think of examples where there may be different paths to the ‘top of the mountain’ that will all work? Can you think of ways people can work together despite their differences?

STAY CONNECTED AND BRING JOY!

This was the picture on my daily motivational calendar the other day. I apologize for the slightly crooked picture. Take a look at this idea for reasons to stay connected with someone. As an author, I give my full approval. We talk about our favorite movies with others. There are hours spent discussing favorite shows we stream, but what about books? A book is more powerful because it causes us to slow down and use more of our brain and imagination. It also takes a little more time which can prolong the adventure. This can also create a deeper and more exciting conversation with the person who recommended the book.

As an author of three books, nothing frustrates me greater than not hearing what people thought of what I had written. There are countless people who have picked up one or more of my books with a promise to let me know what they thought and nothing. Any feedback not only helps me become a better author in the next book, but gives me motivation to write more knowing how it affects others. So if you have read one or more of my books, feel free to message me your thoughts.

As far as sharing books that you have not written, what a great way that is to learn more about the person who recommended the book. What was it that made them like the book so much? I am a big fan of books by Bill Bryson despite the fact he is not so good at returning correspondence. I would recommend the book, A Walk in the Woods to anyone and everyone. The audiobook is quite amusing as it is read by the author. How to Win Friends and Influence People is my personal favorite. A great guide to being more personal. There are so many others. I have had friends tell me about books, and even series, they enjoy. It has brought countless amounts of joy into my life. I have enjoyed both the books and the conversations we have had about them.

How about you? What are some of your favorite books? What would you recommend to your friends, or favorite author/blogger, to read?

IMPACT YOUR DESTINATION!

Last post I had mentioned that Margie and I were going to depart to visit Green Island Jamaica. Although Jamaica is a place we have visited before, we have never been to this part of the island. When we were looking at everything we had planned this past week we did the usual things. We looked at the resort we were staying at. We thought about where we wanted to eat and the entertainment we wanted to enjoy. Did we want to do an excursion of any kind? What should we pack? This is what may of us do. Those things are all important, but they all revolve around the same principle. What are we going to get from this vacation. That is important to be sure. What many of us never ask is what do I want to give on this vacation.

In life, nobody likes the “What is in it for me?” type of person. We certainly do not want to be that person. Somehow on vacation, often people do not think that way. It could be the fact that you have shelled out much of your hard-earned money to go and be where you are. Maybe that causes an entitled feeling? It is worth remembering that the people helping you are not just doing their jobs, but helping your vacation be as enjoyable as it can be. Many of them cannot afford to take a vacation themselves. Showing them courtesy and appreciation can mean the world to them.

When we travel, we represent more than just ourselves. Think of that. We represent tourists in general. We represent the country we are from. When we were in Jamaica the second time, we happen to stay at a resort with many people from the same state we live in. They were generally entitled and unpleasant to the staff and other people at the resort. So much so Margie and I were tempted to say we were from somewhere else. That is when I realized that we had to be a good example. We went out of our way to learn about the locals we encountered. We treated everyone with dignity and respect. The lady in the first picture with us was Stephanie, a tour guide. We might have been the only people to talk to her and take a picture with her. In the Bahamas, we have the pleasure of meeting and chatting with many workers in different shops we went to. Even befriended a wonderful young lady who explained to Margie how much they needed her baking skills in the country. Still trying to convince Margie a move there would be a good idea.

The point of all of this is that we wanted to have a positive impact on every place we went. I shared my writing with many people and we tried to share smiles and kind words to everyone we met. The great thing about this idea? It does not have to be different countries that you do this in. It can be when you go out to eat, to coffee or to the hardware store. Think of what impact you leave in every place you go. Is it a positive one? Did you leave any impact at all? Be a light of compassion, understanding and positivity wherever you go. Whether that is around the block or around the world. The more you do this, the brighter your world, and the world in general will be.

WIPE OUT THIS VIRUS!

I am not sure if the quote pictured belongs to the great actor portrayed, but the point is still quite a valid one. In today’s world there are plenty of sources that could infect you with the virus of jealousy and hatred. News stories filled with hate and division. Social Media posts describing the life you should have and how far behind in life you are. Buying into either of these or multiple other sources could infect you with these viruses. Let us take a look at three of the biggest sources of contamination and how to protect yourself against them.

First is the news. Understanding a few things when you read the latest hate and fear-filled nonsense they are putting out will go a long way to prevent the infection. One, negative emotions sell. They profit and benefit by you being afraid or inciting division in your heart and thinking. The next thing to understand is that there are not my kinds of people out there. There are just people. Yes, we may have different opinions or ways of looking at the world, but we are all people. Human beings. We share many things in common as different as we may be. Do not let anyone convince you otherwise. It is a ticket to hate and violence.

It would be best to avoid the news as much as you are able. There is a difference of being informed and inundated. Social Media is something that many are addicted to. Blending online life with real life is so important. Here is an important reminder. YOU get to choose what you see on your social media account. Many say that social media is too negative. If that is the case in your world, start by subscribing to things that inspire and bring you joy. There really are pages for everything! Also, keep in mind most people only post their highlights on social media. You see the pictures after the workout, never when they are hyperventilating on the treadmill. Unless of course you follow my page in which you will see a little of both. Everyone has their own unique set of circumstances and experiences. That means we will achieve and succeed at different times. One is not necessarily better than the other.

Last source of infection is something we cannot always avoid, try as we may. That would be other people. In the world there are many sunshine-challenged people as I prefer to call them. It is why I started this website. Sharing the tools for self-improvement that we learn will benefit us all. It can be difficult to not let someone else ruin our day. Therefore, we must make it a point to include as many inspiring sources, as well as inspiring people, in our lives. Is there someone who makes you smile? Send them a message! Better yet, give them a call. Even better, make time to get lunch or a cup of coffee with them.

Following all of these bits of advice will help prevent you from contracting the terrible virus of hate and jealousy. It can even help cure us if we have already been infected. Take a look at the next post for an additional course of action to increase immunity against this virus!

WHO GETS TO LIVE LIKE THIS?

Have you ever had one of those reminders that give you that kick in the butt you need? We all can fall victim of some less than empowering thinking. On my way to write today i was lamenting that the sun was not shining and I was feeling tired and a little less than inspired. Then a song came on the radio that changed everything.

The song was Who Gets to Live Like This,by Jimmy Buffett. In the song, Jimmy describes his life and how grateful he is for it. Living in the beach, the mail, and money, come by boat. He just has to relax and write songs. Swap ‘songs’ for ‘books’ and that would be the life for me!

I almost fell into the trap of thinking of how far away from this life I was. I live in a climate that is anything but tropical. I must get up at 4am to go to a day job. Then I thought about a post I had recently written explaining how we should be grateful for the blessings we have and the troubles we don’t.

Suddenly, my thinking began to shift to what was amazing about my situation. This morning I woke up and had a cup of Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee. Which is my favorite. I had some breakfast my thoughtful sister brought me. I was able to share both of those with a beautiful lady who happens to be marrying me. Yes, I have to go to a job, but it is only 5 days a week and allows me to pursue my passion.

We often need these reminders. Even those of us well-versed in the field of self-improvement. Here is the quandary and the solution. What do we do when we don’t have an inspiring song come on the radio? We must craft and schedule tools of strategies that inspire us! Develop morning rituals that empower us. Leave the house inspired and grateful! What tools and strategies can you think of that would do this? Share your ideas with the rest of us!

USE YOUR OWN RULER

As we approach the start of the week many of us will worry that we are not as far as we should be. This could be in the area of career, finance, relationships or a million other categories. The question we should be asking ourselves is what metric we are using to come to this conclusion? Is it the new house our friend on Facebook bought? How about the new car we saw pull up at Starbucks while we are writing? The couple posting their wedding photos while we are still requesting a table for one? Never, and I repeat – never measure your life using someone else’s ruler.

If you find yourself frustrated with your progress because you are not living up to your own standard, that is one thing. Then, by all means be upset with yourself. If you know you could have worked harder or given more, than it is ok to give yourself a little pain as motivation. If, however, your pain is because you are not as far as someone else even though you have given it your all; stop it. You never know what advantages they may have had. Perhaps it was not advantages, but lack of challenges to overcome? I have quoted Earl Nightingale’s definition of success many times. “Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal.” If you are progressing on your goals and working towards them you are a success. This includes discovering things that do not work. Some may call that ‘failure’ but the more informed know that it is just another step in the process of success.

Comparison really is the thief of joy. Why let comparing yourself to other steal the joy of the progress you made? Everyone evolves and grows at their own pace. As long as you are working on growth and evolvement, than do not look to your neighbor to decide how good your progress is. Instead look at who you were a year ago, or six months or maybe even yesterday! Use your own ruler when measuring your success.

HEY YOU, MIRACLE WORKER!

How many of you saw this headline and thought “Oh, Neil is talking to me!”? I am guessing not to many of you. Still, the truth is that it applies to all of us. We may never know all of the lives we have impacted and miracles we have worked. Have you ever seen the movie It’s a Wonderful Life? In the movie, the main character is shown what the world would look like had he never been born. He is then able to see all of the lives he has impacted and miracles he has created. Far be it from me to give advice to the Creator, but it strikes me that this would benefit many more people than it wouldn’t.

I have been blessed (I can think of no other word to use here) to be told that my words have saved the lives of several people. Just one person would have made this all worth while. On the occasion that I get hung up on the frustration of not being able to reach more people, I have this beautiful lady who reminds me of all the lives I have touched. That doesn’t stop me from wanting to reach more, but it does remind me of the impact I have had. The truth is that we all have that impact. It could be treating a retail worker with kindness when they have had a tough day. It could be someone watching us from afar and being inspired by our actions. If you are a parent, you have already worked many miracles.

How would you live your life different if you stopped and realized that you are indeed are a miracle worker? If you were to stop and consider the impact your actions had on the lives of others, would you be more inspired to be kinder and more inspiring? Well here is your wake up call! You are a miracle worker. You have touched more lives than you will ever know. When the world wants to knock you down, go forth with the knowledge that you have lifted others up. Often without ever knowing. You are a miracle worker.

WE ARE ALL CONNECTED

Today’s post is a little bit of a somber one, but one that can inspire us just the same. I tend to write in a handful of locations. The one I write at most is a Starbucks not far from my house. There are many people who frequent this location as well. There is another author who is working on her first published work. There is a gent from Morocco who paints pictures and a woman who converses with everyone else. Throw into this mix a quiet man who used to bring his own mug and seat cushion. He would sit down and read for hours at a time. This could pretty much be part of my retirement plan.

Much like many of the other people mentioned above, we exist in a sort of distant community. We are all involved in our own worlds, but doing so in the same location. I cannot say that I spoke to the man with the seat cushion and book, but we did give each other a wave and nod occasionally. As I ordered my coffee today, the lady behind the counter informed me he passed away. He was an older gent and passed away peacefully in his sleep. Both of which are probably the best way to experience the transition. As I heard the news it was almost confusing how to react. On one hand, I really did not know the man well. Still, there will be one less piece to the puzzle that is the location I write at.

It started me thinking on how we are all really connected. My grandmother had a plaque on her wall with a simple saying – “You are a stranger here but once.” Meaning that after you meet someone you are no longer strangers. You have a connection. There is another cliche that I have heard over the years. “Strangers are just friends you haven’t met yet.” I would go one further and put forth that we are often connected to people we never met. How can you be connected to people you never met? Take the lady I mentioned earlier. The one working on her book. Even if we never discovered that we were both authors and began talking, we would still both be authors who write at Starbucks. This is a small example. The painter is a man who looks at the work around him and uses it for creative inspiration. That could be the description of this blog in a nutshell.

There are people we share spiritual beliefs with. There will be someone in Greenland who has the same favorite color I do. How many people share your color of eyes? Color of hair? Just because we have not physically met someone does not mean we are not connected with them in some way. Even those who seem to be our enemies, we are still connected to them. We often share the same fears and dreams. We may express them in different ways, but we share them just the same.

As the world becomes more connected through technology, we are beginning to see how many people we are connected with. You would think that with this information, the world would be more understanding and compassionate than ever. I do not have to tell you that is not the case. Sadly, many of us focus on finding people who dislike the same people we do. If we were to get to know one another without judgment, I think we would discover how we are all connected in ways we never would have thought of. Next time you are tempted to judge someone, or think less of them, know that is some way they are most likely connected to you. They may be experiencing the same struggles, be facing the same inner demons or feeling the same loss you are. Let us approach one another with a sense of connection and compassion. Remember the two sayings mentioned earlier. “You are a stranger here but once.” and “Strangers are just friends you have not met.”

JUST A QUICK REMINDER

There is a lot of talk about hustling and the grind out there. I am all for working hard. It is one of the best ways to purify the soul in my opinion. Striving to be the best version of yourself, whatever that may be, should be a goal for all of us. What we should avoid is being miserable through the entire journey. We spend most of our life on the journey. Even when we reach a goal we have been chasing, we celebrate a little and soon set our sights on the next goal to chase.

While it is healthy to pursue continual self-improvement, you do not have to be unhappy with your current state. Yes, things may not be as you wish they were, but there is beauty in that too. The hard days help us not to take the good days for granted. The challenges we go through along the way will help us enjoy the destination that much more. Life has a way of passing by in the blink of an eye. If we delay enjoying it until we reach some finish line, we may find we never get to enjoy it at all.

Today, focus on enjoying the journey. Remember that all of the bumps along the way form the incredible person we are. The strengthen our resilience and patience. They give us stories to tell and credibility to help others. There is beauty in all of life. Slow downn that you may appreciate it all.