Tag: Neil Panoisan

CATCHING UP TO MY ACCOMPLISHMENTS

The other day, our fine friends and WordPress, the platform on which this blog is hosted, sent me this little congratulations. It is nice to be sure, but the total is actually over 3000 posts between 5 and 8am. The funny thing is that it was still nice they noticed we are accomplishing something here. I hope it encourages them to have this site viewed in many more locations. This will help our community of driven and wonderful souls looking to better the world and become the best version of themselves to expand into new corners of the world. This brings us to the next couple of notifications I received.

These two notifications came the very next day. One right after another. In actuality, we are viewed in over 200 countries. Again, it was nice to see that they recognize this, but it did not change how I feel about doing these posts. As I mentioned above, the more places we reach, the more this community can help each other. When I write, I think more of just you. That is right. You, the person reading this post right now. We may not know each other personally, we may even be halfway around the world from each other. What I think about it talking to, and caring for, one person at a time. My writing is not to change the world, but to positively affect one soul at a time. In doing so, I believe that is my best shot at positively affecting the world.

Outside accolades are nice, but they should not be the driving point as to why you are pursuing your goal. If your goal is focused solely on you, outside accolades, or lack there of, will drive or curtail your performance. If your goal is for a purpose bigger than yourself, your motivation is in the goal itself. Find the goal and do not let whether the outside world pats you on the back decide if you want to keep going. Work for your purpose.

THE REAL LUXURY

We touched on this thinking a few posts back with the story of my untimely, and fortunately temporary, death. What is really important in life has very little, if anything, to do with material goods. Beyond the basics of food, clothing and shelter there can only be so much joy to be found in excess of material goods. The irony is that is what a lot of us spend our time and energy pursuing. We work overtime at work to buy a bigger car or a name-brand this or that. These luxuries cannot be taken with us. The ancient Egyptians tried and their stuff is still sitting in the desert. One of my favorite quotes is from Denzel Washington. He said, “You will never see a U-Haul behind a hearse.” That is uncomfortably true.

When we are facing our final days, never are we laying on our death bed wishing for a bigger house or car. No, we would wish for more time with friends and family. In fact, time is the most precious of all the commodities of life. It is with a great deal of irony that we spend little time or energy to make sure we are making the most of whatever time we have. The amount none of us can be sure of. Doing things like living a healthier lifestyle. Reducing stress, eating fairly healthy and making sure we move will not only add life to our years, but could quite possibly add years to our life.

We covered two of the luxuries listed above. What about good company? I love that one. In a world where we are the slave to distraction, why not spend some energy and effort on being more present? It will help us enjoy our good company better. If we are present, we will catch little things that our friends share with us we might otherwise miss. When people leave our lives, we always find ourselves wishing for more time with them. One of the worst emotions to have when we lose someone is regret. “I wish I would have enjoyed the time I spent with them more.” we catch ourselves saying. This only compounds our feeling of loss. How much better would it be to know that we made the most of our time that was given to us?

How about the luxury of a quiet mind? In a world that moves at a mile-a-minute, a quiet mind is priceless. As an author who is currently writing about four different books, some peace and quiet with the voices in my head would be wonderful. How much time to we spend on developing peace of mind? Things like daily meditation and other stress reduction methods are investments in the luxury of peace of mind. So is working on not holding grudges, forgiveness and developing an attitude of gratitude. These are luxuries that we can use every day of our life. These are worth spending our time and money on.

Recently, Margie and I went on a week vacation. It was a memory worth investing in. It captured time, good company and peace of mind. It did, however, require us to be present with each other and what was going on around us. If we would have busied ourselves with thoughts of the obligations we had to return to, complained about the rain or if our food was not done right, it would have been a wasted expense. It is skills Margie and I have worked to improve with every vacation we go on. Our next one should be our honeymoon. We better be present for that one. Invest in the true luxury of life. What other luxuries do you think should have made the list? Share them in the comments below.

A REFLECTION OF YOU

This is a good quote to keep in mind. Many people, when confronted with disrespectful people, want to ‘get back at them’. That is easy to understand. They hurt your feelings, so you want to hurt theirs. If you are a person who wants to live an amazing life that is not the way to go. When someone insults you, it is worth keeping in mind that it makes them look petty and rude. That is, unless we respond in kind. Then, we are the ones who look petty. In the moment it can be very unsatisfying to show respect to someone who does not deserve it. It would be so much more fulfilling to return with an insult of our own. Long-term, this would be a poor reflection of our character.

How can you remember or think of such things in the heat of the moment? That is why studying and memorizing quotes like this can be helpful. Putting them into our minds before we find ourselves in challenging situations can help us respond in a fashion that is a better reflection of our character. That is why it is a great idea to find quotes that help you develop your character and get them inside your head. What are some of your favorite quotes that can help improve your life and character? Please share them with all of us in the comments below.

JUST ONE MORE…

Today’s subject matter I have mentioned before, but it is so important that it should be repeated. Here is a little personal story of mine, I believe you can see how it will relate to your own life as well. When I was told that I needed open-heart surgery, it was roughly 60 days prior. To be honest, there was not much consideration as to what could happen. This was despite the doctor telling me that there was a small possibility of stroke or death. He quickly followed with, “It would only be a temporary stroke.” Jokingly, I asked if the death would be temporary as well. Little did I know that would be the case. We are getting ahead of ourselves, however.

In the days leading up to the surgery, Margie and I went to the movies. It was the movie Eternals. It was a long movie and I made the mistake of drinking some coffee prior to going in. Right as the heroes were saving the world, I had to save myself in the men’s room. While conducting my business the realization hit me that I could be dead in 60 days. Reading that it sounds scary, but my reaction was not. It created a sense of urgency. I realized that I had 60 days to accomplish what I wanted and the clock was ticking.

As I returned to my seat next to Margie my mind was going a mile a minute. I looked over at the love of my life and realized this could be one of the last movies we attended. I thought about the time of year, it was November at the time, and realized this could be my last Thanksgiving, Christmas and most importantly to me was Margie’s birthday. It could be my last shot to do any of these things. Then, I thought about my beautiful lady specifically. She, lost in the superhero plot to save the world looked so beautiful and it pained me to think of how she would feel if I did not make it out of my surgery. What would her memory of me be? There were more thoughts like this of other people I love and cared about. Then there were thoughts of my legacy. That is a word that sounds so far away, but here it was 60 days away from what might be my end. How does one create a legacy in 60 days? I had just released my second book. Did I share everything I wanted to with the world?

My mind began to swirl with thoughts of what I wanted to do in the remaining 60 days. Here is the crazy thing. It was not an exotic trip to Fiji. Although that is still on the list of things I would like to do. It was not get a sports car. After all, what good is material things to you if you may be gone shortly? What I wanted to do was experience and create as many memories as possible. As I write this, I am in a coffee shop with Margie working across the table. It is one of my favorite things. Really, everything with her. I realized I like going to the zoo, grocery store and walks in nature with my mother. Should I, or any of these wonderful people be gone, it would be one more of these experiences I would want to enjoy. Look around you at the people you share life with. You never know how many times you have left with them. Really enjoy that one more. Be present. Be grateful. Love as much as you can. We never know when we will be left wishing for ‘one more’.

FIND YOUR TRIBE

We discuss in great detail many of the tools and strategies you can use to improve yourself. Things such as gratitude and discipline. One of the most important things you can do to assist you in this matter is to surround yourself with like-minded people. This should be done both digitally and physically. Your tribe will support you when you feel you cannot go on. They will encourage you, hold you accountable and provide opportunities you may not have thought of. That is why it is so important to choose the right people to be a part of your tribe.

How can you go about finding the right people to join your tribe? Consider the qualities we discussed moments ago. Do you know someone who is good at encouraging you? How about someone who will hold you accountable and make you live up to your standards? Someone who shares the same goals as you? There is a good chance that you know people like this already and have a few in your life. That is good. Make sure to spend a good amount of quality time in their presence. Then, work on adding more people who fit the traits we just mentioned. Try to get a mix of them all.

How does one gather people of like-mindedness? One of the ways is to join groups and forums that reflect either something you are interested in, or a goal you are chasing. I have been to a few writers groups and belong to many author pages on social media. You can bounce ideas off of each other and get valuable advice, encouragement and accountability. Once again, do this both online and in real life. You need a mix of both.

If you want to improve your tribe even quicker, ponder those who no longer fit with where you are going in life. Try to limit, or eliminate spending time with them. Yes, you may want to help them, but be careful it is not at the cost of your own life. Being around others who are negative, encouraging you to bow to instant gratification and not try to better yourself can be poison for living a healthy and fulfilling life. The best way to move on from these folks is to spend more time with those who inspire, encourage and improve your life. Then, by default, you will have less time to spend with those who don’t.

One thought to keep in mind. When you are searching for others to join your tribe, do not forget to be a good tribe member yourself. Give as much as you get. Brainstorm and share your ideas with others. They will thank you by doing the same.

GET THAT TRASH OUT OF HERE!

How do you start your morning? Do you roll over and check your phone? Do you turn on the news while you get ready? Maybe listen to some talk radio on the way to work? Do you spend time reading something motivational to start the day? Do you spend 5 minutes in quiet reflection or are you running around like crazy?

The next question may sound a little weird, but who do you invite over to your house? Is it just friends and relatives? Do you see strangers of the street and invite them in? When people do come over, how do you expect them to act? Polite and helpful or do as they please? Let me ask you a further question. Whether that person was friend or stranger, if they started throwing trash all over your house, how long before you would ask them to leave? Would it be 5 minutes? Would you wait an entire hour or maybe even a day? Most of us would be alarmed the moment they started it doing it and ask them why. More than likely in a way that cannot be printed here.

When we wake up in the morning and expose ourselves to social media, the television or any other medium, it is the same as inviting strangers into our house. We often do not know what these people will say or do. Will it make us happy, sad or angery? Who knows. Quite often it can be a bunch of negative material. In that case, it is the same as someone coming into our house and littering. We would not allow it in the physical sense. There is no reason we should allow mental littering in our mental house either.

Last post we discussed guarding the gate of our mind. This includes evicting negative tenants. This who little our mind with negativity and gossip. Those who belittle us and others. It is the same as dumping trash in our house. Our minds become cluttered with negative influences and make it hard to enjoy a truly positive life. Next post we are going to look at some powerful ways to live a beautiful life. The great part is that all of them are 100% free! See you next post!

IMPORTANT PASSWORD INFORMATION!

The other morning I was listening to a video by Tony Robbins and I would like to share with you a little of what I got out of that video. In it he referenced Jim Rohn, his mentor. That is where the idea comes from.

The idea revolves around passwords. It seems today we have a password for everything. We have a password for our cellphones. We certainly do not want just anyone being able to get into there! We have passwords for our computer. Even things like online shopping and social media have passwords. Even logging on to the platform I write this blog on has a password. Just in case any of you would want to come on here and write an inspiring post for me. Actually, if you would like to be a guest author, we can work on that.

The one thing that we need to guard does not come with a password. That is our minds. You must stand guard at the gate of your mind. We are almost force-fed information from a variety of sources. We hear the news, family, friends and coworkers just to name a few. Many are like chicken little telling us the sky is falling and how terrible the world is. Some give us gossip about other people that may only be true to some degree or maybe not true at all. We often let this all inside our mind without deciding if it belongs there. We must safeguard our minds my friends. The place between your ears is the most powerful spot in our lives. It deserves just as much guarding as our cell phone or computer. WE decide what goes into our minds. Let us make sure not everyone has the password.

WHEN THINGS ARE TOUGH AND YOU CAN’T SEE THE LIGHT

We have spent countless posts and words on this site talking about the benefits of developing an attitude of gratitude. One of the main benefits is to help you see the light in the darkest of times. That it why it is important to develop that attitude when things are going your way. It makes it a lot easier to develop gratitude as a lifestyle when you start using it when things are going good for you. What happens when you have not sufficiently developed your attitude of gratitude, or when you are facing a situation that feels so dark to you that it is impossible to find the light? It is then that this quote above will serve us well.

In the worst cases. That is the toughest times we face. It can be hard to think of what to be grateful for. Given some time and hindsight, it will usually occur to us. What about those first few moments? The day we lost that job? The weeks after we suffer the breakup of that relationship we thought would last forever? Even losing someone we love, what then? Our world seems so dark it can seem as if the light as abandoned us. It can be stark reminder to take a hard look at things we may not have fully appreciated. Everyone complains about going to work, but being unemployed is far more difficult. A breakup is difficult, but did you spend the time you were together loving to the fullest and appreciating the love you received? When we lose a loved one, can we double our efforts to love those that we still have in our life? How about honoring and keeping the memories in our heart of the person we lost?

There are times when life is so dark it is impossible to see the good in anything. It happens to all of us. When that does happen, it can be a great time to reflect on much of the good that we take for granted. You lost your job? Do you have people in your life that love you? Do you have skills that will allow you to get another job? Your partner leave you? Is this a chance to better yourself and learn from your mistakes so that your next relationship will be even more rewarding? It can be hardest to lose someone we really care about. Even then, we can think of our own health. We can realize what a great gift it was to have to opportunity to love someone. Being able to share connection with someone is a gift that should not be overlooked. It is sad when that gift ends, but in reflection, it was great to have. Not everyone does have such a thing.

When you face the darkest periods of your life, be grateful it was not always that way and it will not always be that way no matter how dark it looks. Do your best to notice things unrelated to the area of your life that is hurting. Do you have your health? Do you have friends? You have the ability to read a site like this and be a part of a community dedicated to seeing the beauty in themselves, others and the world around them. You can, and you will, outlast the darkness!

REFLECT… EVEN IN THE PRESENT

As most of you know, I just returned from a well-deserved vacation in Jamaica. It was a wonderful week at the Princess Senses the Mangrove resort in the city of Green Island. We met a lot of wonderful people. Some of which we mentioned in the last post, some we will mention as we make our way through this week. We enjoyed a lot of good food and engaged in some fun activities.

Several times throughout the week, I sat down to record my thoughts and what we did in a travel journal that I bring with me. Some of you might ask why I would spend time in a beautiful tropical environment journaling. It is a fair question. The answer will not only help you enjoy vacation, but quite possibly life more. Have you ever had a week of fun that goes by in a whirlwind? You find yourself back at work and before long you can barely remember what a palm tree looks like. That is why it is important to record these memories. “I take pictures on my phone.” you might be tempted to say. That is true, but how many times do you look back at pictures and ask yourself, “What is this a picture of again?” I know there have been far too many times that has happened in my life! That is why you should try to capture as many memories as you can.

Journaling does another thing that snapping a picture does not. It forces you to be present. Pushing a button on a camera or a cell phone is a fairly mindless activity. Journaling not only helps you reflect, but knowing you are going to do so helps you remain present. If you know you are going to record what is happening around you later, you tend to pay a lot more attention to what is happening. What was that person’s name? How did the food smell? What color was that car I liked so much? You can get the idea. If this works so well to preserve vacation memories, imagine what it could do in your life?

SHARE THE FUN!

Here is a photo of my lovely lady and I enjoying some rum punch as we arrived at our hotel in beautiful Green Island Jamaica last Monday. As you can tell from the picture, we were determined to have a good time. In addition to that, we were determined to bring as much love, kindness and fun to all of the people that we met. The souvenir we wanted to bring home was new friendships and memories of bringing joy to others. Being of service and trying to leave someone a little bit better than they were before they met you is one of the greatest joys in life.

We made many great new friends. Three of which are pictured above. First, was Shantal. This young lady was sunshine in the human form. She hosted karaoke, which Margie sang at. She was so nice to us before the show began, loved Margie’s singing and spent some time talking with us after the show. She told us where she finds inspiration and we discussed how important a positive attitude is in life. Every interaction we had with Shantal only made us happier we had the opportunity to get to know her. We both hope this will be a life-long friendship

Next was Enrico Pezzoli, the managing director of the resort we were staying at. Before we had a chance to meet with him, we heard several things about him from his employees. We heard they really felt listened to by him. Many stating how he was always present and encouraging. Mr. Pezzoli was kind enough to take time out of his busy schedule to talk with us not once, but twice. He told us about the casino and entertainment venue they are building next to the resort. He also shared tips on where to travel in Italy. We chatted some about my books and I look forward to hearing more about his thoughts on them.

Lastly, was a server we had at breakfast. Her name was Felecia. She could not have been kinder and more pleasant. When Margie ordered soursop juice, she offered information on the fruit itself and how she enjoyed eating them. She even went to look to see if they had some extras they had not juiced in back so she could better show us what she meant. Not only was she friendly, but treated us as friends and not just another table to wait on. We were fortunate enough to see her before we left and take a picture with her.

Being kind and trying to make people’s lives a little better is not just something you want to do on vacation. When I came back, I stopped at the coffee shop that I normally write at. This is what they wrote on my cup. It was a very kind gesture, but one I think was earned by doing my best to brighten their days whenever possible. This holds true with your family, friends and coworkers! We should always have the goal of leaving others, and the world around us, a little better than we found it. Being kind and offering the gift of joy is just one of the many ways in which we can do that!

Think of your average day. Who do you interact with? How can you make their day a little better than it was before you came into it? This can be other drivers, coworkers, the cashier at the grocery store to, of course, family and friends. Do you best to be a blessing to others. It will not only make their life better, but bring more joy to yours as well.