Tag: Neil Panoisan

EXPLAIN TO YOUR BRAIN

Last post we discussed how self-discipline can help us start our day with a winning attitude. Many people struggle with self-discipline. In a world where almost everything can be a push of a button away, it can be hard to understand the importance of delayed gratification. What is even more difficult for many to understand is why we must do something that we deem uncomfortable or undesirable even if it leads to success later on. A friend of mine once told me, “Why would I want to work out? It makes me sore and I feel fine sitting on the couch watching movies.” That may be true in the moment, but which behavior will we wish we would have acted on ten years down the line?

The answer to that question should be fairly obvious. We would be a lot better off taking care of our health, even if it means a little discomfort in the present. A less-than-enlightened coworker of mine was remarked, “Why should I care about improving my life? We are all going to die. Just like lemmings jumping off a cliff.” Not only is that statement a very depressing outlook on life, it overlooks one important point. We are all lemmings jumping off that cliff. This is metaphorical. I do not believe any lemmings read the post. If we are all going to die what is the point of living? How about to have the most fun we can on the way down that cliff? We should work to squeeze as much out of our life as we can.

Reminding ourself the importance of why we must work to become the best version of ourselves is key to self-discipline. When I think about not wanting to work out after a long day at work or not wanting to write, I think about my beautiful lady and how she deserves to have the best version of me. I think about all of you who read these blogs. There have been several people who have told me how much they impact their day and their life. Would I rather sit in the park and watch the birds on a lovely day? Absolutely. Could I do that after writing for an hour? Yes indeed. When I look back on my life I want to be proud of the life I lived. I can only do that if I exercise my discipline.

TRY THIS IN THE MORNING

This seems like a pretty obvious thing to do. Who would not want to start their day with some positive thoughts? We can all agree that thinking of healing, big dreams, thinking of things that make us happy and picturing our own success would start our day in a good fashion. How come more of us do not do that? Did you do it this morning? I woke up at 4am for work and I can tell you that I made coffee, brushed my teeth, got dressed and got out the door with just enough time to make it to work on time. Why did I not spend at least a few minutes thinking these thoughts?

The reason more of us do not begin our days in a deliberate way is twofold. First, in today’s world most people tend to be reactionary. We wake up and look at our phones. We wake up and listen to the news. We let outside circumstances determine the trajectory of our day. Many of us do not realize there is any other way to live. This is how our parents lived and more than likely their parents too. Is there anything stopping from taking time to decide how to live our life? The answer to that question brings us to the second reason that most of us do not begin our lives in the way the photo above would advocate.

The second reason is the same reason that I did not begin my day with thoughts that would set me up for a happier and more successful day. Looking at the fact that I get up at 4am, have a 35 minute commute and have to be at work at 5am, you may think the reason is time. No, that is the excuse. Yes, I do have to hurry to make sure I get everything done and out the door in time. What is preventing me from spending 5 minutes thinking some positive and productive thoughts? A lack of self-discipline. Could I wake up at 3:55 instead of 4? Sure. Would 5 minutes less of sleep make that great of a difference? Could I have some mantras written out so I could read them to get my mind right? How about a vision board with pictures of my goals or things that I am grateful for? Could I put all of these things in a little binder and have it sitting by the coffee maker to grab and spend a few minutes looking at?

The answer to all of these questions would be ‘yes’. It would not take much to make such a binder. Even to put a few inspiring affirmations on some sticky notes on the bathroom mirror. All it takes is a little self-discipline. Once these items are done, having a morning that begins with empowering thoughts is almost on autopilot. The notes, binder or whatever method you choose to use are right there for you to look at. It becomes part of your morning. Just like making a cup of coffee or brushing your teeth.

It is time for us to stop waking up in neutral and letting the world determine what kind of day we are going to have. It is time to take control of our own destiny and determine our own level of happiness. No phone, no news until we take time for ourselves and our emotional well-being. Are you with me?

WHEN YOU HAVE ONLY 2 MONTHS TO LIVE…

Take a look at someone you really care about. Now imagine what that person would think if you were gone. What kind of memory would you be for that person? Would you be endless enjoyable and loving times together? Would they recall ways in which you hurt them with your words or actions? Would they know how you truly feel about them? This not only holds true for people younger than you such as your kids and grandkids. We never know when our time is up, or could be called into question at the very least. These moments could be just a phone call away.

That may sound a little dark to some, but that does not make it any less true. Any moment you spend with any person could be the last one you spend together. It could be something as simple as one of you moving away. There have been some friends that I have personally had in my life that come to mind. You think you would get together and suddenly you are thousands of miles apart. Yes, you can still email, call or even have a video chat, but is that really that same? I think we can all agree it is not.

This idea really came to my attention when I had my heart surgery. It was November of 2021. My surgery was scheduled for the following January. Margie and I were out enjoying a movie. Foolishly, I had consumed too much coffee and had to run to the gents. While in there it occurred to me that this could be the last movie we ever see together. My heart surgery was far from a sure thing and there were some serious risks associated with it. I began to picture what life for Margie would be without me. Would she remember our moments together? For how long? Would they be loving memories or would she just be filled with pain and regret? It then came to my attention that I had two months to make sure I loved her the best I could. That was not a great deal of time.

Obviously, I made it through. There was a brief flirtation with death along the way. That whole journey can be found in my third book, The Beat Goes On. It would have been nice to have more time. The tricky part is that we never know how much time any of us have. Something could happen to us, or the other person. Then all that is left is the memories and it is too late to change them or add to them. Think again of that person you care about. If you or them were gone tomorrow, would you be a good memory? What can you do today to insure that?

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE DAY 30 – SKILLS AND TALENTS

What talent or skill do you have that you are grateful for? What a great question. We do not stop and think of all the things that we are amazing at enough. The world teaches us to be self-critical. It is important to, at the very least, balance that out with complimenting ourselves on what we do well. This would be a practice to keep doing regularly. Keeping a reserve of positive self-image will help us succeed and go farther in life that being overly critical of ourselves.

Talents and skills are often used interchangeably, but I feel there is a big difference. To me, talent is something you are born with or naturally good at. Skill, on the other hand, is something that takes hard work and practice to excel at. Can you think of examples of both in your own life? Are there things you are just naturally good at? What skill that you have worked hard to be good at can you be both proud and grateful for?

My own personal examples are a little fuzzy. There are talents I believe that I am naturally good at, yet I still have put in much effort to make the most of them. Take speaking to people. For whatever reason, the fear of speaking is something that I do not have. Using this gift, I have worked hard to become a better speaker with each opportunity. I have always been a inquisitive person, but have used that to learn as much as my brain will hold. One of my favorite skills I have developed is to see the good in as many people as I can. Gleefully, many people in my life are pretty easy to see the good in. It is more reminding them why they are so awesome. Some forget or may have never been told. Some people are more of a challenge to see the good in, but it is those folks who help you strengthen this skill the most.

How about you? Have you thought of what talents and skills you are good at? Everyone has some. What are yours? Have you reminded yourself how amazing you are and felt grateful for the talents and skills you have? If not, today would be a good time to start.

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE DAY 29 – FRIENDS AND FAMILY

How can you pick just one friend or family member to be grateful for? It doesn’t say just one, so we will pick a few. Friends and family members add the color to our lives. Some friends become just like family. There are so many amazing people in my life. I am grateful for all of them and are going to work on expressing that better as the year goes on.

For the purpose of this blog, I am going to name a few. It is not a complete list by any stretch of the imagination. As we mentioned last post, I am grateful for my mother. We always have such fun times together. Whether we are going for a hike, working out at the gym or just going for coffee. It is always great conversation. I am grateful for my friends Dan, Jonathan and Nick. Speaking of great conversations, those gentleman always have great things to say. We solve the worlds problems over a cup of coffee! I am grateful for my soul friend Shannon. She not only imparts much amazing knowledge of the natural world, but is kind enough to even let me know when my favorite burger stand opens up! Grateful for all the friends of Margie and I who come to see us at our shows on Sunday. It creates such a warm and friendly atmosphere.

Lastly, I am grateful for Margie. She is not only my best friend, but after next October she will be family as well. She adds so much joy to my life it would take an entire post just to explain it all! How about you? What friend or family member are you grateful for? Once you start thinking about it, I am sure you will feel very grateful and lucky just like I do!

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE DAY 28 – IT IS THE SMALL THINGS TODAY

After working on being grateful for these last 28 days, this is a fun one. What small thing happened today that you are grateful for? It is a million little things. That is the idea behind taking a month and being grateful for something different each day. Just last post we looked at the things we use daily that we are grateful for. Without which we would be terribly inconvenienced. In that post we thought of several you could be grateful for before you even leave the house. A toothbrush, clean water, deodorant. After I wrote that post, my mother mentioned a toilet. It sure is a lot more convenient than having to walk out to an outhouse. This is true especially when the temperature falls below freezing.

The question remains. What small thing happened to me that I was grateful for? It was a moment that occurred just before I began writing this blog. As I was waiting for my computer to boot up, my screen saver popped up. It is a picture of my lovely lady and I in Jamaica. I thought of how we will be there again soon. I also thought of all the fun we are going to have. How grateful I am to have her in my life. “It really is a good day.” I thought to myself. I have just returned from a workout with my mother. She joined my gym and will be continuing her fitness journey. That was really a great time we had. The sun is shinning and the weather is unseasonably warm today. That makes me very happy and grateful.

Looking at any of these things, one may not think they are that important, but together they make for a great day. Having that moment where you feel so happy, content and blessed before you even start writing is an awesome situation to be in. It is that moment, and all of the moments that went into creating it, that I am most grateful for today. All that and the day is not even halfway over! What about you? Is there a little thing that happened to you that you are grateful for today?

30 DAY GRATITUDE JOURNEY DAY 27 – IT IS THE LITTLE THINGS

Today is a day that could fill a book. What do I mean by that? Test this out. For just about 10 minutes, sit down and think of all the little things you use every day that you are grateful for. If you find this difficult at all, switch it up. Think about all of the little things that you could not, or would not, want to do without. It would be surprising if you ran out of things to think of in those ten minutes. There are, in fact, certain things that give you several things to be grateful for. This is an exercise you could repeat daily that would turn the mundane into a swelling of grateful emotions and feelings. This all sounds like a bunch of hype, so let us dive in and take a look at what we are discussing here.

One of the first things that pop into my head is my toothbrush. First, it was a wonderful gift from my lovely lady. Second, it helps keep my oral health up to date. This saves me money in the long run. I imagine the people I talk to throughout the day also appreciate it. In that same thought, how about deodorant? If you run out it can be a little of a touchy situation. If not for you, certainly for those around you. Clean water? Without it the toothbrush would be a lot less effective. It also helps me make coffee which I am extremely grateful for. When was the last time you turned on the tap and thought to yourself how lucky you were to be able to access clean water without much of a thought? Would you believe 26% of people do not have that same access? With war raging through the world, this number is sure to climb higher. Can you imagine being without clean water?

We really didn’t even leave the house, which is also something to be grateful for, and we have several things to be grateful for. Let us look at something that is often reviled – the cell phone. Yes, it is true that it has hampered personal communication. Yes, it makes for many distracted drivers, but think of all the positive things your phone allows you to do. It allows you to capture moments with friends without having to carry around a separate camera. It allows you to listen to your favorite song, or happy playlist, anytime you desire. You can get the answer to most any question within a few seconds. I even have an app that will tell you what song is playing in the background. This has saved me much frustration. Not to mention you can stay in touch with loved ones making sure they are safe. Even if your baker fiancée fails to tell you how many bags of sugar you need to get from the store…hypothetically. The cell phone has also help cut down on the amount of graffiti in public restrooms!

See how one thing can provide us with endless things to be grateful for? How about credit and debit cards? You do not have to carry large amounts of cash on you or risk running out and not having enough. Going back to our hygiene example, how about soap? Very good to have. Not many people stop and feel gratitude for soap before washing their hands, but might do so should they ever find themselves out of it. The ability to wash your hands helps cut down on the chances you will fall ill or make others so. It also helps remove the sauce from those chicken wings you just ate. Soap, very grateful to have you aboard! Locks on our doors to keep us safe? Clothes to keep us warm, dry or over-exposed.

As you can see, there are so many little things that we use daily that we should be thankful for. Any one of them could cause a great deal of discomfort and inconvenience should they not be there. Next time you turn on the tap, wet your toothbrush or put on that deodorant, stop and feel a little gratitude for those items. Without them our live, and social circle would certainly suffer. How many items do you use daily that you could be grateful for? There are endless things that we take for granted that make a very positive impact in our life. Expressing gratitude for them would only help improve our life.

30 DAY GRATITUDE JOURNEY DAY 26 – EXPRESS YOURSELF

It is interesting to think that you could be grateful for a form of expression. Again, this is one of those things that we seldom think about, yet doing so could add an amount of joy to our life. Let us get into it shall we? Have you ever thought about the different ways to express yourself? Unless you are a right-brain, creative person the answer is usually ‘no’. In which ways do you express yourself regularly? Myself, verbally would be my answer. Throughout my life, I have work hard to improve my verbal communication and have achieved a level of some proficiency. This has served me well until recently. At two of my jobs I deal with people who are extremely hearing-impaired. As a person who enjoys a great conversation, it is frustrating that there exists a great amount of difficulty with communication.

This made me explore other avenues. The lady at my day job often texts fellow employees to communicate with them. At my weekend job, the fellow there uses a mixture of writing notes and gestures. Often, there is alcohol mixed in which can make it a little confusing. I thought how nice the written word is, but then also thought of people who’s vision is impaired to one degree or another. As an author, this is still a group I would love to reach. It is wonderful there are audiobooks.

We have just covered 2 forms of expression – spoken word, written word and recorded word. This is just touching on verbal communication. In my life, I am blessed to have many artists that convey their emotions through painting, sculpting, sewing and of course the amazing cakes my lovely lady makes. There are so many forms of expression. Thinking of this reminds me of the book, The Five Love Languages. In which you can explore the different ways both you and your partner both express and receive love. Thinking of all that we just mentioned, there are more than five ways to express love. Some people express their love with a hug, some with a gift and some with an act of service. Some draw you a picture or bake you a cake.

Which of these is the form of expression I am most grateful for? Like many of these items in our thirty-day journey, this is the first time that I have pondered it. In reflection, I would say what I am most grateful for is the fact that there are so many ways to express yourself. Each one reached someone in ways that others cannot. This is yet another reason why we are all important and beautiful. Someone can be saying the same message, just in a different way than you. You delivery may reach someone that others cannot. High polish and a large audience does not necessarily make a message more powerful. Express love and compassion in whatever way suits you. Doing so will reach the people you are meant to reach.

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE DAY 25 – MOMENT THIS WEEK

Here is an oddly specific question. What moment this week are you most grateful for? My own life is a personal collection of moments I am most grateful for. It would be difficult to pick out just one. As I write this, reflecting on the week that has just passed, there are many moments to be grateful for. The first that came to mind was the day I just had with my mother. We visited the local museum for an in-depth look at some of the displays they had. Guides offered a little behind-the-scenes information. We learned a lot and it was a lot of fun. After which we stopped for lunch. Even though the server was a little sunshine challenged, it brought humor to us and we had a great time. Then we did a little grocery shopping. I came home and Margie and I cooked and enjoyed a delicious and filling meal together. After which we watched a movie and fell blissfully asleep next to each other.

That is just one day of my week. Which of those moments should I be most grateful for? It is really hard to say. As we develop an ‘attitude of gratitude’ together these 30 days, you will start to see that almost every moment offers something to be grateful for. Having a difficult time deciding what moment in that past week to be most grateful for is something to be grateful for itself. That means I have a life filled with moments to be grateful for. That is true of all of our lives. Being able to see that this is so, yes that is also something to be grateful for.

You can see how pondering what moment in the past week you are most grateful for can help you feel more grateful all the way around. It also helps us realize that in what may seem like a stressful week, there are still plenty of things that went right and that we can be grateful for. How about you? What are you grateful for this past week? Was it a victory or, like we discussed last post, was it a challenged that helped you learn something valuable about yourself or someone else? I would love to hear about it in the comments below.

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE DAY 24 – CHALLENGE

This is both one of the most difficult as well as one of the most powerful days in our 30 day gratitude journey yet. When we all think of the challenges that we have in our life, the last word for many of us is ‘gratitude’. Who would be grateful for a challenge in their life? Would it not be better if everything ran smoothly? Our life as a continuing arc of improvement in all areas? On the surface, our quick answer may be a resounding ‘Yes!’ but upon further contemplation, we may think differently. Reflecting on asking my friends on New Year’s Eve what they were most grateful for in the past year, many of them listed challenges. Why? Some for what they gained out of them. The self-confidence that they could overcome. The resilience of pushing on. Some what they learned about themselves and others. One man had an extreme health challenge. He learned that even through that, the lady in his life was right by his side.

Some may be tempted to say, “Yes but you could learn these things through the other person telling you.” That is both true and not. Using the last example, your spouse could tell you, “Yes, I will be there for you through anything.” They may even mean it, but what happens when the chips are down? People’s actions say far more than their words. Going through a challenge can show you how much someone really loves you or how strong you can be. These are things that you just cannot know any other way. In the same way, your friend’s and partner’s challenges give you the opportunity to show them how much you really care. Again, even more than words. Being there for someone when they lose a loved one, or encouraging and helping them chase their dreams are great ways to show you care. It is an opportunity to be grateful for.

Have you looked at challenges this way before? It is certainly understandable if you have not. What can be empowering is starting to do so now. What challenges are you grateful for? How have they helped you on your journey?