Tag: Neil Panoisan

WE CAN ALL DO SO MUCH MORE!

Being an independent author I found this picture most agreeable as you may imagine. Although the picture is specifically geared toward authors, the same would hold true for other artists such as musicians, magicians, cake designers and any other person in the creative arts trying to bring joy to the world.

By helping those of us who are using our creative talents to add to the world you are giving a gift to a great many people. Obviously, you give a gift to the creator itself. Second, by giving the creation whether it be a book, music, cake or anything else you give a gift to the receiver. More indirectly, you give the gift of hope to all the independent artists that struggle to make a living. When considering gifts for holidays or any other reason, consider an independent artist.

When you do make a purchase, if you enjoyed what you purchased, make sure to spread the word by posting reviews and sharing your purchase.

THIS IS CRUCIAL

Last post we looked at ways to limit our exposure to negative people in our lives. Today we are going to look at the more difficult chore of dealing with the negative people we cannot escape. How do you deal with a negative coworker? A boss that is demeaning? A family member who is full of drama? Sometimes limiting exposure is not an option. How can you protect yourself from the influence on every Debby Downer or Negative Nancy in your life?

Before we begin with our idea here, let us make mention it would be worth your time and effort to search for as many possible options to protect yourself against those who drain your energy. Why is avoiding negativity such an important issue? While you are in a negative state you are certainly less likely to try new things, to stay motivated to accomplish those things you are currently working on and to successfully deal with the challenges of life. According to a recent study, 80% of visits to a primary care physician are stress-related. This affects not only your health but your pocketbook as well. Are you beginning to see how important keeping your mood up is?

Here is our idea to employ in our defense against emotional vampires – make it a game. Dealing with this people can be stressful enough, so let us make the solution a little fun. I suggest keeping the fact you are doing this inside your own head. The game is simple, match each negative action and statement with a positive one of your own. If you have a friend or coworker who likes to gossip about other coworkers, match their statements with positive things about that coworker. Do you have a boss that is constantly putting everyone down? Try being the one to lift everyone up. You may wish to do this in such a fashion where it does not seem to be in direct conflict with your boss. Do you have a family member who likes to discuss all of the political problems of the day, or perhaps graphic descriptions of their recent medical procedure? Then for each one of them, you share a story of inspiration or love and peace between people.

This game will accomplish two important things. First, it will give you an amusing and on occasion comical way to deal with their negativity. Making it a game will keep your stress at bay and may even add some positivity as a byproduct. The second thing this game will accomplish is it will begin to annoy the people bringing negativity into your life. Before you start feeling bad, let me assure you that in reality what will be annoying them is the fact that you are not feeding into or reacting to their negativity. This will accomplish one of two things. It will either cause them to limit their negativity around you or limit their time and conversation with you. Either way your life has just become more positive.

I encourage you to try this game and give me your feedback as to how well it has worked in your own life. Feel free to share your ideas for dealing with negative people with our readers in the comments below.

STOP GIVING YOUR TIME TO FOOLS


I am not much for April fools day. Today, however, we are going to be discussing fools. The people in your life that bring drama, negativity and many unpleasant emotions. We are going to look at not only why it is so important to keep from being affected by these sunshine-challenged folks, but more importantly, how to do that.
The first course of action is to limit your exposure to these individuals. Are there people you spend time with out of feelings of guilt or obligation? Realize your primary obligation is to live your life in the most positive and rewarding fashion possible. It is by doing this that you can bring the best to others. If you have people in your life that seem to be draining the joy from your life like an emotional vampire, it is time to level with them.
I advocate doing this with compassion and a desire to invoke a positive change. Let them know what it is you want. This can be done without directly assigning blame or pointing out their actions. Letting them know you prefer conversations that are positive and solution oriented instead of those that consist of rehashing the problems of the world and life with no focus on fixing them. Let them know you have no desire to discuss the lives of others or engage in negative gossip and instead would like to focus on how to improve your own life and focus on the success others have. You may even have to do this mid conversation. If they start to get angry or defensive, just remind them you are letting them know what you would like, they are free to engage in behavior they enjoy.
Sometimes, they may either not get the point or have no desire to adjust their negative behavior. We must understand this is their right. We have no authority to tell others how to live their lives no more than others should tell us how to live ours. What we do not have to do is continue to be a part of theirs, at least as often. When the person notices that you are around less they may ask why. Again, you can be honest without being hurtful. Tell them you decided to take a day to focus on being positive. Or you wanted to focus on some healthy personal growth.
Once you notice someone draining you the time to do something about it is now. If your attempts are met with failure or indifference, and remember that is their right, then it is time to move on. We are only granted one life. It is our responsibility to make the most of it.
What about those we can’t avoid? Perhaps coworkers or even a negative boss or family member? We will take a closer look at positive steps to address those next post, so please come back tomorrow. If you have suggestions for dealing with negative people in your life, feel free to share them in the comments below.

REFLECTIONS IN INSANITY

On March 22nd the band Motley Crue released their long-awaited biography The Dirt. Being a big fan of 80’s rock I was interested in seeing how this all came out. I watched several interviews with members of the band who recalled their crazy days and everything they went through. Nikki Sixx, the bass player, admits he is shocked they were still alive.

As many of you know I was a singer in a band myself for many years. On a phone call with my bass player/co-writer/best friend Russ, we recalled some of the crazy stuff that went on with us. These events contained, but were not limited to – almost setting his garage on fire while, ironically, playing the song Live wire by Motley Crue, being arrested while jamming at a house party hosted by our friend Nick (I still maintain for us this was more of a wrong place/wrong time situation) crazy nights that included way too much rum and kicking flaming balls down city streets. There was many other events that should probably remain in conversation between the two of us.

What was the point of all this insanity? Maybe it is something that you do when in a rock band? Maybe it is the blatant disregard for common sense that is so prevalent in youth? Regardless of what it was, we both came to the same conclusion – we were lucky to be alive and for all purposes unscathed. For all the various band members there were stints in rehab, failed jobs and relationships and health scares. Looking back on some of the things we did, words like insane and foolish come to mind. One word stands out and that is grateful. Quite easily, one of us could have spend a prolonged time in jail or ended up killing ourselves or someone else.

Another thing we were grateful for was our friendship. It has been roughly 30 years since we first met and we still talk at least once a week even though we live in different states. He has become a terrific funeral director, helping people in what is often the roughest periods of their lives. Myself, I have become an author and motivational speaker doing my best to do the same.

In our last conversation, recalling all of our band craziness, we were inspired. Realizing that despite some of the unnecessary distractions we invited into our lives, we created some amazing music, lyrics and memories. Much like Motley Crue, who did some of their best work when all of the members of their band were sober, we began talks of working together on a new creative project.

Neither of us are sure exactly what that will be, but we are sure of one thing, we wasted a good amount of our time together. In the middle of having fun we never realized what great creative potential we had as a team. Our band also included a very talented guitar player named Karl. It was a shame that we did not stick together long enough to make a bigger impact on both each other and the world around us.

The one redeeming factor is after everything we have been through we have learned and came out on top. He has moved to further his career in a state he loves (Arizona), I have met the love of my life Margie, who supports and honestly pushes me to share my talent. Without all that we put ourselves and each other through we may not appreciate what we have now as much.

I am sure each one of us can look back on our lives and think of some points that we would call “Wasted Youth” but if you learn the lessons it is never a waste. Our mistakes have instilled us with not only a sense of gratitude, but one of determination to make the most of our creative talents going forward. I am eternally grateful to be at a point in my life where I have a friend and brother of 30 years to remind me of what is important as well as a loving lady who will push me to make sure I put it to use.

As you look back on your own life be grateful for the lessons and those who have stuck by you. Do not live in your past, but learn from it and use it to drive you forward.

IF ONLY WE ALL HAD THIS

Earlier this month I had visited Runaway Bay Jamaica. On the way back to the airport from the hotel I saw this sign above our bus driver. My job retention depends on my positive attitude, great service and the customer’s satisfaction. In my experience, most people I encountered in the country of Jamaica may not have had this sign, but generally followed this thinking.

I am amazed at how many people I encounter that do not realize this is true. Whether I encounter people face to face, as I do when I DJ, or virtually as I do with my YouTube videos and writing, I know I must present a positive attitude, provide some form of great service and meet the customer’s satisfaction. This is true from accountants to Zamboni drivers. Three things that seem so simple, but can be so hard to find. Perhaps we should all have signs to remind us as this Jamaican bus driver did.

Feel free to leave your suggestions in the comments below.  

YOU ONLY GET ONE


Listening to people who have accomplished what you would like to accomplish is certainly one way of succeeding. It is called mentoring or modeling. Not only do I advocate this as a great idea, but use it myself. Daily, you can find me listening to those I admire. Whether it is while I am working, working out or just relaxing, you can find greats such as Tony Robbins, Eric Thomas, Earl Nightingale and others flowing through my headphones.
After years of listening to and reading greats from all walks of life you begin to notice common threads that make up each of their teachings. They may not be presented in exactly the same way, or spoken about using exactly the same words, but the core ideas are basically the same. This is why I suggest listening to many different sources of motivation and inspiration. Something worded in a slightly different way may be exactly what it takes to resonate with you. I listen to a podcast called Metal Motivation which blends heavy metal music and motivation. I also listen to Bishop T.D. Jakes who receives most of his inspiration from the bible. Both have benefited me greatly.
Here is an idea that I first heard from Warren Buffett. He asked the question, “If you could have any car you wanted what would you choose?” I am sure cars like those in the picture above may leap into your mind. Before you give your answer, let me tell you the caveat he added to that question. You can have any car you want, but that will be the vehicle you have to have for the rest of your life. I have heard the same analogy used for a house and other things as well.
I am not going to get into the importance of selection, because that is up to you. Here is what I am going to ask, once you have that house, vehicle or what ever it is we use as an example, how good would you take care of it? Would you put in the cheapest oil and gas into your car or would you spend a little extra for the good stuff? Would you drive with reckless abandon or would you do your best to avoid an accident? Would you share your one house with people who would party and destroy it or would you only invite those over who would be fun, yet respectful?
These seem like simple no brainers, but let me tell you a little secret. You can always buy a new house or car. There are things in life you only get one of. These include your mind, your body and…well…your life. Think about that for a moment. You only have one body, are you treating it with the care it deserves or are you out partying every night? Do you eat to fuel and feed your body or do you just shove anything that tastes good into your mouth? What about your mind? Do you read or watch things that will inspire and motivate you or do you spend countless hours watching reality television?
What about your life in general? Do you spend your time more concerned with what others are doing with their one life or are you focused on getting the most joy and love out of your own life? Have you thought about the people you have invited into your life? Are they the party and destroy it kind or those who would value the time you share with them? Do they bring out the best in you or the stress in you?
There are a few things in life that we only get one of, are we paying enough attention to them? Take a few moments to realize how you treat your mind, your body and your life. Remember to make the most of them because we will not get another.

YOU ARE NOT CELEBRATING ENOUGH

It is amazing where inspiration can come from. In the course of my 20+ years in the field of self-improvement, I have filmed at least 3 YouTube videos at cemeteries, wrote about eulogies countless times and funerals just as many. Perhaps that is because at no time is the value of life more apparent then at the moment of death. When we witness the loss of someone else’s life, it really causes us to reflect on our own. It is my sincere goal that through these posts as well as my other mediums, you may not wait until that moment to look inward.

Another source of inspiration was delivered to me the other day at my day job. While working industriously near the radio at the Post Office, a commercial came on for a funeral service. It discussed the unique service they had put together for a lady who was into riding her motorcycle. It was a touching story and a good use of marketing dollars. It ended by promising they can work with whatever your ‘celebration of life’ may be.

A few hours later as I continued my work a thought of that phrase celebration of life. I have always preferred that over the word funeral or memorial service. This may be just a personal preference, but I feel it puts the focus on where it should be, on the person’s life and not on their passing. To me this tends to make it just a little bit easier on everyone affected by their loss. Yes, you are still going to mourn, as you should, but there are more reflections on joyous memories and fun times spent with that person. During the eulogy there is one, if not many, people who stand up to share what they loved about the person and what great things sharing life with them brought. That is how you celebrate!

That made me wonder, why do we save such celebrating for a person’s farewell? Certainly, it would be nice to have such events happen while we are here to hear them and enjoy them? Who wouldn’t want people to stand up and tell everyone the joy your life has brought them at…a birthday or family reunion. There are many times when people gather together to celebrate all kinds of things. I feel it would bring a lot more to the celebration if we spend a little more thought, effort and diligence on what we are celebrating.

I am actually going to take this one step further. I am going to advocate not waiting for a special event to do this. First, because if you invite people to your birthday party and call it a ‘celebration of life’ there may be some rather alarming confusion. Most importantly, however, because this is a habit we should all develop. Every morning we wake up and put our feet on the floor we should be celebrating life. After all, we are alive. We have many opportunities to bring and receive joy and love.

How do we begin to make celebration of life a part of our lives on a regular basis? I have two ideas, but I would love to hear yours as well. My first idea is to take some time each day to celebrate life. It can be as little as 15 minutes to as long as you desire. Personally, I think first thing in the morning would be the best time to do this. It would put you in a great mood to start the day! If everyday seems too unrealistic for you, why not picking one day a week to celebrate life? During the given time you have selected, either once a day or once a week, focus on things such as what makes you happy and what you have to be grateful for. Celebrate them. Feel grateful, feel happy and celebrate. There are no rules as to how you celebrate life, just do so consciously. Pretty soon it will become a part of your life.

OUR TRIP TO A SOUTHSIDE COCKTAIL GEM


A few months ago, my Lovely Margie, my mother and I all visited a unique south-side establishment for dinner and a cocktail. We visited McKiernon’s Irish pub, located at 2066 s 37th St. Click the link below to read all about our experience as well as the history of a place like no other.

CLICK HERE TO READ ABOUT THIS UNIQUE RESTAURANT

A POTENTIALLY DANGEROUS SECRET OF VACATION

By now most of you know that Margie and I enjoyed a well-deserved vacation at the Luxury Bahia Principe in Runaway Bay Jamaica. Here I am at the resort holding one of my favorite books. I presented several copies to different parties while I was there. The manager of the hotel actually called to give me his feedback and inform me that he was going to share several of the tools contained in the book with his staff.

Earlier this week on my YouTube channel Neil Panosian, as well as last week on this very blog, we looked at the benefits a vacation can bring you before you leave. In this post we are going to talk about the benefits you can receive from your vacation, but look at the dangers associated with it.

First the secret. I mentioned that Margie and I had spent time looking at videos and brochures prior to our departure to get our spirits up, and because the Wisconsin winter was especially long and tough this year, to keep our spirits up as well. The same thing will be applied for after vacation. This time the videos and pictures we will be watching will have us in them, because we took them! Not only will these be great for an emotional boost, but they will also be great for creating our vision boards. In my case it will also be a great motivating factor for the gym as well. There were so many fun and great moments on this trip, I was thrilled we could capture them. This includes a great snorkeling video I was able to take thanks to my new waterproof phone case.

This all sounds great, doesn’t it? What possibly could be dangerous about taking pictures and videos? The main danger, other than not watching where you are walking, is that you may miss the event for want of capturing it. With Margie taking cake orders and myself running several internet pages as well as keeping in touch with several publishers, we are both on our phones more that I would like. On vacation we made a concerted effort to limit that. We were also aided by what proved to be sketchy internet service and an issue with Facebook.

There is a thin line between wanting to capture the memory and being able to live the memory. There is nothing worse than going through your vacation photos only to find what you missed out on. What can we do to balance this out? Two things jump to my mind right away, but I would love to hear your suggestions as well.

One of the best things to do is to decide ahead of time pictures you might want to capture. Before Margie and I left on our vacation we knew a few of the things we were going to do. We were going to tour a coffee plantation, swim in the pool and ocean and enjoy several restaurants on the property. We also discussed where we would like pictures of us. I think we did a great job of capturing many wonderful moments. We both also wrote in journals to help record some of our wonderful moments we shared. Dividing the duties up between members of vacation party can make things a little easier as well. That way one person is not always behind the camera.

The second thing that jumped to mind may seem obvious, but is worth noting. Decide on moments that will be ‘phone and camera free’. Time to just enjoy and relax, to be in the moment. After our vacation was done we looked back on our pictures and were able to both savor the memories as well as appreciate the times we did not take pictures. I think it is important to learn from each vacation experience. That presents the opportunity to make each successive vacation even better. Some great examples is knowing what is worth packing and making sure to get rest before you leave. There was not much to regret on our wonderful tropical escape, but one thing we both agreed to do differently next vacation is to get some sleep the night before. Between jet lag and lack of sleep we lost half a day of vacation. It was great to rest in the tropical breeze, but I think we may do that differently next time.

2 THOUGHTS ON THIS MOST WONDERFUL OF DAYS

Today is one of my favorite days of the year, the first day of Spring. Although in the fine state of Wisconsin spring weather is often still a month or so away, it is a sign of hope, rebirth and renewal. With the advent of Spring there are flowers blooming, the trees regain their leaves and there is a feeling of the world coming alive.

It is with this feeling and thought in mind I would like to turn our thoughts inward. As we bask in the bliss that is the coming of Spring, what in our own life could use some rebirth and renewal? Is it our sense of inner peace that could use some refreshing? Perhaps our fitness? Our sense of spirituality? There are lots of people who engage in spring cleaning in their homes, but perhaps some spring cleaning in our lives could help as well. It is a time to recommit to some of the things that are important to us. Lacking inner peace? Maybe renew your meditation practice. Need a brush up on fitness? It is a perfect time to get out and witness the rebirth of nature by going for a walk in a park.

The other thing Spring gives us is birth. It is time to plant the seeds of a garden. Animals often give birth to their young in the early parts of spring to give them the best chance of survival. Again, let is keep this in mind and look inward. What seeds would we like to plant in our life? If it is inner peace, subscribe to a YouTube channel on meditation or join a yoga studio. Want to foster your creative side? Maybe look for painting classes in your area. Want to be more fit? Pick a walking partner and set up dates on which you can depend to meet and go for walks. You will strengthen not only your body, but your friendship as well.

As the planet begins its renewal, let us join mother earth in doing the same. Feel free to share your ideas for what you plan to do this Spring in the comments below.