Discipline is one of the words that I think we are taught incorrectly. When we are growing up Discipline is taught as something that happens to us of we misbehave. We get disciplined. At best it is used to convince us that we need to do things we might not want to do such as study or clean our room.
What we seldom, if ever, are told is that discipline leads to freedom. Discipline is the key to our success. When we have goals and things we want to accomplish in life, it is discipline that is the key. Here is the crazy part. As we grow older we think there is no punishment if we are not disciplined.
You might think as an adult you are free to act as you see fit. That is true to some extent. What you are not free from is the consequences of those actions. When you cease to remain disciplined as an adult, it is you who suffers. It is you who will not reach the goal you are working towards. It is true your family and friends may suffer as a result. Lack of discipline, however, is really a betrayal of yourself.
An amusing quote for sure, but one that has a powerful meaning. It is not really about the hoofed animal, but the people who are actually below even them. We are talking about those folks who spend their time gossiping, going behind people’s back, lying and just operating as disrespectful humans.
Just as a pig is home in the mud, these people are at home in despicable behavior. When we try match them in deplorable actions, not only are they more experienced, but we reduce our character by our attempt to emulate them.
When you see someone engage in petty or underhanded behavior, just say to yourself, “another pig in the mud.” Then, move on making sure you rise above their behavior.
*we apologize to any pigs that were offended by these comparisons*
When it comes to becoming the best version of yourself, Charles Bukowski is not the first name that may come to mind. Like yours truly, he worked for the United States Postal Service. He also shared some of the same opinions of it. He was a drunk and a generally unpleasant person. All of that being said, he does have a good point here. Our mortality should be a great motivation for people to come together. Either they ignore it, put it out of their minds or do not believe death will happen to them. As if they are not subject to the same laws of biology the rest of us are.
When a rather cynical coworker of mine discovered that I also write self-improvement material and am a student of the same, he had an opinion he felt the need to express. “What is the use of trying to improve yourself. We are all just lemmings falling off a cliff. We are all going to die.” I could not argue with him on the last part. Whether we look like a lemming has more to do with who are parents are than how we live our life. This fatalistic view of the world is one that unfortunately far too many people hold. If we are lemmings falling off a cliff, I would argue the point of life is to have the most fun on the way down. You can only have the best life if you are the best version of yourself. That is the entire purpose of self-improvement.
One of the ways in which to improve our life is to embody this quote from old Charlie above. We are all going to die. Do not take too much personally. Do not get hung up on trivial matters. The more rules you have for your enjoyment of life, the less enjoyable your life will be. Instead of finding ways and things in which to be upset, look for and find ways in which to enjoy life. The same holds true for your neighbor. If you want to find reasons to hate your neighbor, you can find them. If you want to find reasons you should invite your neighbor over for a BBQ and a laugh, you will find that too. It is all in what you are looking for.
Charles was right about one thing, we are all going to die. We should use this as motivation. Our time is slipping away right before our eyes. We should find as many ways to drain as much joy out of life as we can. The best way in which we can do that is becoming the best version of ourselves. The best way to have the most enjoyable time with others is to understand that one day we will run out of that time. Use it to laugh. Use it to love. Use it to connect.
The other morning at my day job I was listening to a motivational podcast. Many people ask, “Why after almost 2 decades in the self-improvement field and writing four books and publishing three, do you still listen to self-improvement material?” The answer is quite simple. You can never know everything. There is new information being brought to light all of the time. Becoming the best version of yourself is a life-long journey. There is no finish line.
Another, and perhaps more applicable, reason to listen to different motivational material is that it is presented in a different way. That is why you can have so many successful people in this field. A lot of their messages are the same. What is different is how it is delivered. You may hear something said by Tony Robbins and it may not resonate with you at all. Someone else may tell you the exact same tool or strategy, but in a different manner and you get it. The same holds true for those of us delivering those messages. That was what happened on this particular day.
The saying I heard is one that may be of use to you. Your personality creates your personal reality. To be honest, I do not even recall which person said this. Looking at the way it is worded, I would guess it is Tony Robbins, but I could be wrong. Who said it matters less than what we can do with this. In the two photos above, we see both what makes up a personality and how we can use our personality to fit into a career that would be most beneficial for us. Neither of these are complete lists, but it sure gets you thinking.
Let us take a look at a more personal example that I think will help this make a little more sense. At the afore-mentioned day job, we have a gentleman who stops in every morning. We will call this man ‘red truck guy’ as that is what he drives. His purpose for coming in? The best that we can figure is that he comes in to complain about his life. He comes in before the business is open and gives us a graphic description of how everyone in his life is incompetent in some fashion and how they are all out to get him. This is not an exaggeration. After several minutes, which seems longer, of complaining he departs. Here is the thing, this man creates the life he complains about. He has negative opinions about people based on about every factor you can imagine. He treats them as he views them. Then he acts surprised when these same people treat him negatively. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Our personality is reflected back to us in the life we live. If our personality is warm and welcoming, that is how the world treats us. If, like in the example of our unfortunate fellow above, we find reasons to dislike our fellow man, life will be a negative experience for us. It is a reflection of the 2000 year-old emerald tablet. This said “That which is below is like that which is above.” Many of us have heard the saying, “As within, so without.” That is how our personality reflects our personal reality. Does this mean if you have a pleasant personality your life will not experience any difficulty? Of course not. You will have a life that will be a lot better to deal with those challenges. It will be filled with a lot more loving and supportive souls to assist you on that journey.
Last post we discussed growing pains and why they just might be the key to success. If you haven’t read that yet, it just might be worth a look. Today we are going to talk about your diet. If you want better health, it should not shock too many of you that you need a better diet. Certainly the nutrients that you put into your body will determine how much energy you have, how well your immune system functions and even how good your mood is on any day. The food we eat can play a far more impactful role in our life than we may think. That is why our diet should be one of the first things we focus on. There is one aspect of your diet you may not have considered.
Your diet is a lot more than what you eat. It is also what you watch, listen to and read as the picture above says. Have you watched a movie and it puts you in a certain frame of mind? We all know music can help change our state. In my first two books, I give you a great tool to take advantage of this. Now science is starting to show how certain music can help assist the body in healing itself, strengthen the immune system and a great many other processes. What we read and expose ourselves to can influence our state of mind. Do you know those folks who listen to political talk radio all of the time and are always in a good mood? Yeah, me neither.
There are people I like to listen to when I want to get motivated. There are movies I like to watch when I want to laugh. That is true in all of our lives. It is a wise person who notes these ‘dietary’ elements and makes use of them. There are things that we can eat that make us sick (anchovies for me) There are also things that we can eat that we just do not enjoy. (Cauliflower here) We are usually pretty good and taking note of this. Somehow those people whose company brings us down we still hang around. That talk show that always fills us with anger and hate for our fellow humans, that is what we listen to on the way to work. Why?
When looking to get healthy, we must look at all aspects of our ‘diet’. We must also make use of all of them. Add what is healthy and remove that which is bad for our health. That health can be physical, mental or spiritual. We must look at the whole person and the whole diet. There are so many opportunities to improve our health, why not take advantage of as many of them as we can?
Have you ever heard the phrase “Growing comforts”? Everyone, however, knows about “growing pains”. That is because growth can be painful. It is almost always difficult. Do you wish to grow in your life? In your career? Do you want to grow the love and the passion with your spouse? Do you want to improve the quality in all of your other relationships? How about improving your health? I am guessing if you read a site called Secret2anamazinglife.com, the answer would be ‘yes’ to all of the above.
Here is where the irony comes in. Everyone wants growth. It is natural. You would like your health to be better. You would like you and your spouse to have a closer and stronger bond. You would like to move ahead in your career. If we all want growth, and we all agree that there are ‘growing pains’, why do so many of us seek a life of comfort? The irony is this – if you seek a life of comfort and ease, it will come back to bite you in the end. Les Brown said it best when he gave us the equation, “If you do what is easy life will be hard, but if you do what is hard, life will be easy.”
Every improvement in our life will take our time, our energy and self-discipline. These things are seldom easy. If we are to seek and do just the things that are easy and give us pleasure, our life will begin to suffer. If you do not put the time and effort into growing the love and connection between you and your spouse, it will not stay the same, it will begin to fade. If you are always looking to cut corners at work, do you think your career path will improve? When the company needs to downsize, who will be at the top of their list? If you do not have the self-discipline when it comes to your health, how long before your body begins to fail you? Sure, it is more pleasurable to not exercise and just eat all of the food that tastes good, but where will that leave our health in five or ten years? You know exactly where you will be.
It is for these reasons that you should choose the path of improvement not the path of ease. There may be some growing pains, but there will be growth.
I hear a good deal of people lamenting the amount of stress they have in their life. In the photo above, there are some good points why that stress exists. Taking a few actions in our life can eliminate a great deal of stress. It may take a hard conversation or hurt feelings on the part of others, but that might be exactly what is needed.
Past relationships should stay in the past. If they continue into the present, it will only lead to trouble. It is like trying to drive while looking in the rearview mirror, you will eventually crash. Prioritizing your self-love is vital. The only person you are guaranteed to spend the rest of your life with is you. If you do not like the person in the mirror, there will be some sleepless nights in your future. Having to say ‘no’ to others to make sure that self-love is taken care of is important. How about envious people? Envy is a terrible emotion. The only thing we should have a strong desire for is to have a better life for ourself. That can only be accomplished by becoming a better version of ourself. People filled with envy often take actions that are immoral. You do not want to be involved in anything like that. You do not want to surround yourself with people focused on the lives of others more than they are on their own life.
As far as letting others have power over our life, it happens more often than you think. This quote above is an example. If you believe you are doing what is right and someone insults you, do you question or even change your course of action? Do you do things just for praise even if it may not be right for your life? Doing what is right and what will improve your life is more important than hearing a compliment from someone else. I know people that have to look online to see what is trending before they make a decision on what to eat, what to wear or a host of other things. Independent thinking is a sign of true strength. It also eliminates a lot of stress and a lot of resentment. When you let others have power over your life, you often resent them even if they are not aware of your feelings. All of this leads to stress you do not need.
As mentioned earlier, taking these actions may ruffle a few feathers. That is the price we must pay for a happier life and a greater deal of inner peace.
These days it would seem that some people relish seeing the downfall of others. Here is a way in which we can put that downfall to use in our own life. Look at what we can learn from that downfall. It can be someone doing something to ruin their reputation and their career. It can be the fall of someone’s marriage. It can be someone ruining their own health. As I have seen recently, someone passing and leaving a legacy of hate and deplorable actions. We can learn from each and every one of these.
We can learn from other’s mistakes because we cannot make them all ourselves. It is also a chance to practice a little compassion. We all make mistakes and do things we regret. If you are reading a site like this, it would be safe to assume that you are trying to make less of them. One way to do so is look at each of these downfalls of others and think of how we can avoid making the same mistakes. Did your friends marriage fall apart over a lack of intimacy or communication? Maybe it would be time to brush up on your own? Did a relative lose their job due to downsizing? It would be a wise idea to brush up on your resume and skills.Lastly, passing away without leaving a decent legacy is something I think we should all keep in mind. The hour of death is always uncertain and we should work hard each day to make a positive difference.
We should never celebrate the downfall of others, but we should learn from as many as we can. Each one can also be an opportunity to help. What can we do for the people in the situations above? The more we learn and help, the better our life will be!
As I write this, I am preparing for a yearly 5K run that I do. It will be about 90 degrees at race time and I will be running on blacktop. It sounds insane and it probably is. Normally, this race is not this hot. Why on earth would I do such a thing? It is a great way to test where my fitness level is compared to the year prior. Am I getting better? Am I falling off? Running for me is quite difficult. Not only is my frame not really designed for it, but my asthma has me stopping to catch my breath more often than not. It is frustrating. Again, the question comes up, “Neil, why do you do it then?”
The quote from Seneca above captures it perfectly. When we attempt things that we view as difficult, even if we do not succeed at the level we had hoped, it gives us a sense of pride and accomplishment that those who never attempt will never know. It is a tricky thing to convey to someone who has never put themselves in a difficult situation. Pushing yourself outside what is comfortable not only gives you a sense of pride, but does something even more important. It prepares you for when you unexpectedly face something difficult. If we face difficult things voluntarily, when life throws us difficult times we do not expect, we will be far better prepared. It strengthens far more than muscle and cardio. It strengthens our reslove.
This is why it is important to do the difficult things. Give yourself some inner strength. Prepare yourself for life’s unexpected trials. What do you do that helps you develop inner strength?
There are so many times that every day life gives us keys to an amazing life we often miss. This is one of them. Yes, I realize that GPS is a machine. It does not have emotions. It does not overthink. Do you know what it also does not do? Give up! Can you imagine if we did one thing that our GPS does? Whenever life, or our plans, do not work out the way we planned, say out loud, “Recalculating route!”. You may think you look a little crazy, people may laugh at you. Laugh with them! This is a great way to remind ourselves that a change in route is not a failure, but an adjustment. We can still get to our destination, it may take longer. We may need a different route. We will still get there.
Can you imagine if GPS acted like us sometimes? We are running late and encounter a closed road and our GPS just says, “You’re screwed. Your day is over.” How about if we take a wrong turn and our GPS says, “You are an idiot! Why did you do that?” No. It just recalculates how to get there. It takes in account we did not take the way initially planned and make adjustments. You think you have found the perfect life partner and they turn out to by a lying loser? Yes, that sucks. Just walk away and say, “Recalculating route.” Lose the job you thought you would retire from? It can be a very difficult set back. There is no doubt about that. Say “Recalculating route!” and brush up that resume!
Life is not always easy. There are challenges. A cute saying like this does not fix them. What it can help us realize is that life is not over, it is just taking a different route. Next time you hear your GPS utter this familiar phrase, smile to yourself and know that life is much like a unplanned detour on a car trip. Recalculate your route and enjoy the journey!
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 