Tag: mindset

REALIZE YOUR POWER!

Last post we spoke of what to do when feeling overwhelmed by the seemingly hopeless oppression of the masses by a few wealthy politicians. The answer was to remember you, as a small axe, can still fall the big tree of corruption. I failed to mention that this does not only go for politics. No, any large challenge in life that you face can be approached with the same mentality. One of the greatest challenges to adopting this mindset is the constant focus on the world outside of us. How can we change the hearts and minds of our leaders to care about the people without money lining their pockets? How can we only elect people who have the skills to lead us to a world of kindness and compassion?

The short, and somewhat uninspiring answer, is that we cannot. We do not have control over others, nor outside events. When we spend all of our energy focused on changing the current of the river, we get swept away in its current. That is not to say that we should shrug our shoulders and wait for life to take care of itself. What we should do is to focus on where our power really lies – in our own mind. Wish your spouse was more romantic? You can spend hours, days and years telling them that. Unless that partner is willing to change, it will not happen. It would be best to take matters into our own hand and use the power of our own mind. This could involve seeing the different ways in which our partner expresses romance that we may not see. It could be working on creating an atmosphere where being more romantic is both desired and rewarded.

We have power over our minds, not outside events. When we focus our energy on this, we realize that we can use the power of our minds to affect the outside events around us. We also come to the realization, if we haven’t already, that trying to control others and the world around us leads to frustration and resentment. Even if we manage to obtain the control in the short-term, it is fleeting and impossible to hold onto. Our real strength is in our ability to change our perception and meaning towards life. To change our approach. To understand our role in the situations that frustrate us, and if they are beyond repair, to have the moral strength to leave those situations. Use your power and focus your energy on where it will best serve you and the process of change.

CAN YOU SPARE A MINUTE? NOT REALLY.

Last post we discussed the ever approaching and uncertainty of death. Not a really chipper subject, but one that should give us a sense of urgency to enjoy life now. That is what I would like to discuss with you today. How many of us put off enjoyment? The ever present “I will be happy when ___” way of thinking. What if we never make it to when? Again, not a very cheery thought, but one that deserves consideration. We may never get a shot at this merry-go-round of life.

Here is a great example – vacation! When we are on vacation, like my lovely lady and I were in the picture above, we are sure to make the most of it. “We might never get back here again. Let us enjoy it.” We say to each other. The truth is that the same might be said of any moment of your life. Our favorite restaurant that has been there forever may close unexpectedly tomorrow. The beautiful park we enjoy walking through may be turned into condos any day now. Our friends may move away and our loved ones may pass away. All of these moments are possible and at some point will happen.

This is all beginning to sound a little doom and gloomy. The question all of this begs us to ask ourselves is, “How are you spending this minute?” Tony Robbins has a great line, “What is wrong is always available. So it what’s right.” What are you focused on? Are you focused on how much of a hurry you are in and how inconvenient the long line at the grocery store is? You could be focused on how grateful you are that you do not have to hunt for your food or farm for it. Not only would that take a great deal longer, but success is not guaranteed. Either path is certainly justified and understandable. The fact remains one of them leads to a more enjoyable life. We should work to enjoy as many moments in life as we can. We might as well. We will never get them back again.

We all know people who are angry most of the time. Why? Do they know how good they have it? Yes, I am sure their lives could be better. Yes, we all have legitimate challenges and reasons to be disenfranchised. Still, we all have reasons to be grateful and full of joy and love. All we have to do is look around us and see those that are less fortunate and could use our help. Oh wait, we are getting into tomorrow’s post again,

IT IS LATER THAN YOU THINK 🤔

This post comes out on a Monday. Back at work for most of us. We are busy working to keep the lights on and the bills paid. Before we know it, the week is over and we are exhausted. Socrates, and by the way of this post myself, are here to tell you not to forget the things that truly matter. I cannot convey my dismay at how many of us spend our lives majoring in minor things. I am not judging. I am guilty of this far too often myself.

This life we are given is a great gift. If we are not enjoying it, we are wasting it. You might be saying, “Neil, you do not know my situation. I cannot enjoy life right now.” You are right. I do not know your situation. There is one thing that I am sure of when if comes to your life, even if we have never met. That is that your life, and the lives of those you share it with are growing shorter by second. Each and every one of us will leave this beautiful planet and we have no idea when. It seems as we get older, or maybe face a serious medical condition, our urgency to live a life that matters increases. That is why you see so many people contemplating their own lives at a funeral of a loved one. It serves as a reminder that life is shorter than we think.

This thought of ever approaching, and uncertain, death is not to scare you. Quite the contrary. It is to motivate you. Life is meant to be lived to the fullest. Even situations that are not ideal. Your job may not be the one of your dreams. Personally, I am still waiting to host a talk show. Even in that job you can practice gratitude and find the joy. It can be your coworkers. It can be the interactions you have with the public or the opportunity to make their day a little brighter.

We pass by so much beauty and so many miracles on a daily basis it is beyond comprehension. Take walking by a beautiful tree. Have you ever stopped to think about how many years it took that tree to get to the stage it is now? What did it all need and have to go through? How many storms did it weather? Years of growth, fighting wind, rain and perhaps scorching sun. Still, here you are able to stand in its shade. Too obscure of a reference for you? Let us look at another one.

Working with the public is a challenge. I have done it my whole life. When you come to a coffee shop and the lady behind the counter greets you with a smile, do you know how hard that might be? Any smile we are given, whether by stranger or friend, is a tremendous gift! Think of what a smile means. Despite the challenges that person is facing, and we all are facing some challenge, they wanted to share a gesture of joy and acceptance with us. They could have thought of the crazy state of the world and scowled. They could have been overcome with grief and looked at us with tears in their eyes. Which are both gifts as well. Someone being brave enough to share their inner-most thoughts and emotions. Are you beginning to see how we are missing so much in life?

Aside from stopping and staring pensively at a tree, which might not be a bad idea, how can we begin to appreciate all of these miracles and beauty we are missing? There is a clue in the question. Appreciation. When we stop to be grateful for things, it not only adds joy to our lives, it helps us be a more appreciative and loving person. Who wouldn’t want to be around someone like that? Think of the plants in the islands in the middle of the street. Most of us pay them little, if any, attention as we drive by. While it is smart to keep your eyes on the road, a glance in their direction would serve us well. Can you imagine how dull and lifeless the street would look without them? This is just one example.

Another suggestion is to try and be present as much as you can. In the middle of a walk, stop and take a deep breath and soak up the moment. Who you are with. What is around you. You can combine this with finding something to be grateful for. I was behind a lady at the supermarket who was obviously in a hurry and was not keen to wait in the line we were in. That is understandable. How lucky were we that we were both able to afford groceries and that there were some there to purchase? In many places of the world this is not the case. We did not have to hunt or farm. We were not living in an impoverished country. Yes, long lines at the grocery store are not fun. Do you know what is worse? Wasting time being upset about being there. I am getting ahead of myself. We will talk more about that tomorrow.

THE GOOD THING ABOUT TOMORROW, IT IS NOT YESTERDAY.

How many of us kick ourselves over mistakes we have made years ago? If you are human, most likely you do. We all have things we wish we would have said or done differently. Sadly, no amount of self-torture will allow us to go back in time and correct our mistakes.

Here is what we can do to at least modify those actions and words that were less than our best. We can use that regret to fuel our improvement in the present. I am not a fan of hanging on to regret. A little bit of pain upon reflection can keep us from making those same mistakes.

Today, take any pain and regret you have about the past and use it to turn your mistakes into lessons! It is the only way you can help fix the past as well as set the future up for success!

COME TOGETHER…🎵🎵

This is a picture I took at the Wisconsin State Fair. As you can see, there are lots of people gathered together in the name of fun. It would make sense that statistically they would differ in race, politics and religion. Probably in a host of other categories as well.

Later in the night, Margie and I hosted our weekly DJ show as well. Same story, only on a slightly smaller scale. Many different people there, but all gathered to have fun.

My question is this – If it works for a DJ show and for the great Wisconsin State Fair, why can’t it work for life in general? Can you imagine if we all were focused on how to gather and have as much fun in life as we could? People sharing their secrets for having fun on the morning commute or going to the dentist? Life would be amazing. Just a thought of what is possible.

A HAPPY DEATH? 🫨

This is a rather simple phrase from one of the smarter, more accomplished men of our day. Leo did a lot in his day. Inventions, painting, and some science. He had a well-spent life. This seems like one of those phrases that are a little too big for most of us to figure out. How does one lead a well- spent life?

As usual, we make it a little more complicated than need be. What kind of life we are living is not something we stop and contemplate on a daily basis. What we can do is ask ourselves, at the end of each day, “Did I spend this day well?” Were we productive? Did we take actions towards our goals?

A well-spent day is about far more than productivity. We should ask ourselves, “Did I inspire and encourage anyone today?” How did we treat the people we came in contact with? Did we practice self-care? A productive day can look different to everyone.

If we put enough of these days together, it will have us feeling peaceful when the end of our life is drawing near. Ask yourself, did you spend your day well today?

WHAT STANDS BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR GOALS 💪

Have you ever thought about what stands between you and your goals? When I ask people this question at seminars, a lot of different answers come up. Money, time, network are just a few. What many people either fail to realize, or fail to admit, is that it is not lack of resources that is stopping them. It is lack of resourcefulness.

If we were to look back at the evolution of even the largest companies, we would no doubt see humble beginnings. They worked with what they had until they learned our acquired more. My own success has mirrored this path. Starting this blog came with a great deal of ignorance to begin with. I knew nothing of how the blog world worked. Today  we have been viewed in over 200 countries. Writing my first book? Same story. It seems with every book I publish, I learn something new.

How about you? Are your excuses standing between you and your goals? With a little more effort, could you overcome a seeming lack of resources? Denying this is only serving to hold you back.

HEY YOU!

Falling in love with life will be the theme of my upcoming fourth book. Do you remember how it feels when you first fall in love with a person? You feel like you are floating on a cloud. Nothing can bother you. Imagine feeling the same way about life!

There are secrets to get this feeling back. It is much like love in a relationship. After a while, we begin to take things for granted. We begin to see the cracks and faults. Sometimes to the detriment of all the good and the magic. That is why children have a much more magical view of life than adults. Life is new. Everything is a miracle. My next book will help you capture that again as an adult.

In the meantime, I would love to hear things and situations that help you fall in love with life. Even if just for a moment.

A WAY TO BE WISE 🤔

This is more than some feel good quote. Epictetus, who went from being born into slavery to teacher of philosophy, knew a thing or two about not having a lot. What allowed him to transform his life, and the lives of countless others, was his mindset! We have discussed at length the subject of gratitude on this site. We have done so because it is one of the most powerful tools we can use to transform our life in the quickest period of time. Want to suddenly have a more fulfilling and happy life? Your best bet would be to find as many ways to incorporate gratitude as you can.

Getting back to the quote at hand, what can it tell us about our own life? A good deal. We may not have been born into slavery, but all of us have had our share of hard times. Maybe a job loss or unexpected bill that has set us back. We all have. What makes focusing on what we have verses what we lack so wise? Let us take a look at that. It will help us see that life is really an inner game. What do I mean by this? Let us look at both sides of this quote.

When we focus on lack, life will never feel fulfilling. If we are a person filled with anger and rage and we suddenly win the lottery, have a great spouse and loving kids, what will our life be? It will be one of anger and rage. We spend so much time trying to achieve outer success before focusing on inner thoughts. That is why we see rock stars, movie stars and celebrities who seem to have it all take their own lives and become addicts. They mastered the outer game, but failed at the inner game. If you become rich and successful, but your are unhappy and ungrateful your life will feel like a failure. In reality, it will be.

Conversely, when we focus on what we have we feel fulfilled. This does not mean we will not seek something better. It simply means as we do that we will acknowledge the fact that we have a lot to be grateful while we are pursuing it. When we do receive more, it will feel even more wonderful because we are already living with an attitude of gratitude. It will just give us more to celebrate and feel grateful for. Those focused on lack will never have enough, no matter how much they have. Those who are focused at feeling grateful for what they have will always feel good no matter how little they have.

Can you see the wisdom in this mindset? One feels terrible no matter how good circumstances are. One feels great no matter how terrible circumstances are. Life, at its core, is our emotional state. If we can find a way to be happy regardless of outside circumstances, than our life will be one of joy. That way is through gratitude. After all focusing on what we lack has turned celebrities into addicts. Focusing on what we have has turned a slave into a philosophy teacher. You owe it to yourself, and those around you, to fill your heart with gratitude. It will make you less stressed, happier and more enjoyable to be around. That is a secret to an amazing life!

PRISON OR OPPORTUNITY 🔒

Here is another post about freedom. It is the freedom that is controlled by the power of our thoughts. Listening to some motivational content the other morning, I heard a good description of this freedom. The gym is a place a lot of people dread going or find like their are ‘forcing themselves’ to go to. The ironic aspect is that most of the people who feel this way are the people who are reasonably healthy and working to get better. If you find someone who has experienced a major health challenge such as a heart attack or a form of cancer and they realize that the gym offers them the freedom of a healthier lifestyle. It not only allows them the freedom of better mobility and energy, but quite often the freedom of being alive.

On the opposite end of the spectrum are people for which it is too late to attend the gym. Maybe they let their health slide to a point they are no longer able to be mobile, or even worse. If you would give them a chance to go back in time to go to the gym and reclaim their life, they would jump at the chance to do so. If you are constantly chasing pleasure, you have become its slave.

Quite often, the difference between prison and opportunity exists in our minds. Take your job, for example. Many people feel as if they are in prison when they are at work. Studies show that 87% of people dislike their jobs. A simple shift in mindset could great assist us in this matter. If we realize what our jobs afford us to do. With them we can pay our bills to have a roof over our heads, the lights on and food on the table. Another great way to turn our prison into opportunity is to attach a bigger meaning than a simple paycheck to what we do. When I worked more directly with the public at my day job, I focused on bringing as much joy and encouragement to everyone I came in contact with. Knowing I was doing more than earning a paycheck, I was blessing lives, made going to work a lot more enjoyable. This mentality is one that everyone who works with the public should adopt. Judging by some of the service I have received lately, it is one many choose not to. Viewed simply, you have to be there because you are getting paid. The customer has to be there because they need your good or service. Why not make it the most fun the interaction can be? It will be far more enjoyable for both of you.

Whether it is working out, or working, your mentality has a lot more to do with your situation than even the facts do. Look for the opportunity in every situation and your life will never be the same.