Tag: Mental Health

REVISTING AN OLD FRIEND..

In several past posts I have mentioned the benefits of keeping a journal. If you are not a regular follower of this blog in addition to me telling you that you should be, let me recap for you quickly some of the benefits. One, it is the cheapest and easiest therapist you can employ. Even the fanciest journals generally cost lest than one visit to a professional therapist. Two, there can provide clarity when our thoughts are going in a million different directions all at once. They also can help you focus on and see the challenges you are facing, and in going back and rereading, if you so desire, can give you examples of past challenges you have overcome. They also can highlight things you have to be grateful for. it can also be a great place to hold a conversation you may not trust to anyone else. It is the perfect ‘old friend’ it doesn’t judge. it is completely unbiased and will listen as long as you care to talk/type/write.

The reason I bring this up today is the past three days we have looked at sources of inspiration and motivation that we can have delivered to us daily. Well in addition to keeping us focused, moving us towards our goals and keeping our spirits up these daily bits of information can be used to help formulate our thoughts for a journal entry. What did the daily inspiration remind you of? How did it influence your day? What do you think about the thought and opinion expressed in general. if you are using the day by day calendar, you can even tape or glue the page right in your journal. Once we start thinking and writing amazing things can happen. If you are not already keeping a journal I strongly encourage you to start now!

KEEP STUMBLING

If you aren’t stumbling you aren’t moving forward. This was the exact thought I shared with a friend who was dismayed at her attempts to get over a bad relationship and move forward.  It was only after our conversation I realized the true power of what I had said.  Think of any situation in life.  Learning to play an instrument, starting a new job, all the way down to when we did first learn to walk.  Did you just start slow and keep getting better?  How did you get better? In every situation there was some stumbling, either literally in the last example or figuratively in the first two.  By making mistakes we are moving forward.  I often learn the most about people after we have a disagreement about something.  I also learn the most and remember the best after I make a big mistake.  Think of some of the most physical or emotionally painful things that have happened to you.  There are usually followed by the phrase “I’ll never do that again”.  To our credit, most of us don’t, with the glaring exception of celebrating too much on a Friday night.  The truth is, quite often the more painful the lesson, the more powerful the lesson.  Whenever we are trying to accomplish something great we will always suffer some measure of defeat.  The ones who accomplish greatness are the ones who don’t let it stop them.  So next time you catch yourself stumbling remember at least you are moving forward.  It is not possible to stumble while standing still.

THE TALLEST BUILDING IN TOWN

I was listening to a cd the other day.  I want to say it was one by Tony Robbins.  It reminded me of a situation that often gets under my skin.  Now I try not to let too many things get to me, but here is something that does.  Perhaps you know someone who does this.  Perhaps you, yourself are guilty of it as I think we all are at some point in our lives.  The question is simple, How do you get to have the tallest building in town.  There are two answers.  Which one you choose goes to show a lot about the kind of life you are living at the time and the kind you are going to live in the future.  The two choices are simple.  If you want the tallest building in town you can either knock everyone else’s down or you can work on your own.  Now I think the answer as to which is better is fairly obvious.  Still, how many of us hear people, or ourselves put people down, or minimize their accomplishments because we don’t feel strongly about our own?  This causes us three kinds of problems.  First, when people hear you belittling someone else’s life, they think, even subconsciously, “how are they talking about me when I am not around?”  This may lead to mistrust on the part of your friends, or at the very least, a lack of desire to share details of their life with you.  What that gets you is relationships that are not as close and beneficial as they could be.  Second, when we put down someone else, it is because we feel inferior to them in some fashion.  By putting them down, instead of forcing ourselves to work harder we provide ourselves an excuse not to improve our lives.  In other words work on our own building.  Lastly, when it comes to the law of attraction, when we celebrate our friends, and even our enemies victories no matter how hard that may be, it draws the same thing to us.  In simple terms, when you finally achieve a goal do you want everyone putting you down? Saying you succeeded just because “you were lucky” or “got all the breaks” I would guess the answer would be no.  So next time you hear of someone’s success. Cheer them on.  Celebrate as if the success was your own.  You will make them feel better and life will work better for you.  If we all just worked on own buildings we would build a far better city, and a far better planet.  We can’t control what other’s do anyway, so let us just focus on us.  Start the positive revolution one person at a time.

A DIFFERENT KIND OF PRAYER…

Yesterday we spoke of challenges and seeing them as opportunities.  Let me tell you, I sure got some practice at that today.  Life is an amazing practice ground for maintaining a positive lifestyle.  In addition to all things at my job at the post office. I discovered my aunt had lost her job and my uncle who is recovering from a serious injury may have taken a step back at least emotionally.  In fact, it may even be affecting his relationship with his wife.  Now, all these things are stressful. Most of them are either completely out of my control or involve the variable of other people and their personalities. So while speaking with my mother about this and hearing some of the challenges she encountered today we found ourselves discussing all the things and people we were concerned about.  In this case ‘concern’ could be a quick replacement for worry.  Well I am a firm believer in the law of attraction and focusing on other people’s problems, even if it is with the intent to solve them just sends more negative energy to the situation.  It was then I remembered an idea I had read in a book I just finished. When there is a person with a problem, be it you or someone you care about, instead of focusing on their problem I have a solution that will not only help them I believe but it will feel better for you.  In fact, I would go so far as to say it would feel good. That is exactly what I am talking about here. Say we are worried about a person who lost a job. Instead of focusing on how they must be worried about being able to pay the bills, and how hard it is to find a job, do something a bit more constructive.  Close your eyes and picture that person in a job they enjoy being paid a decent wage.  Feel their happiness and send them your happiness as well. Then, and this is very important, feel gratitude for that situation turning out for everyone’s good.  Really feel it. Do this every time worry rears its ugly head. It won’t be easy, but it will make you feel better.  If this is for somebody else and you think they would be receptive, encourage them to do the same. Then calmly keep your eyes open for that job. It can work with an illness too. Picture the person, or yourself, healthy.  Don’t say “I’m thankful that illness is gone”  instead say “I am thankful to see Kim healthy and happy” or Bob or Tom or…well you get the idea. The important thing here is the emotion. Really feel the joy, really feel the gratitude.  You will feel better and you will be sending a lot better energy out to the world. Will it work? I believe it will. Not to mention it will feel a lot better than worry. Oh and if you want to be happy and grateful for my new-found wealth I would be ok with that too. Stay positive and stay grateful my friends!

TRIAL AND ERROR

“My life has been based on trial and error. I finally paid attention during the trial, now I’m learning from my errors”
-Kari Hutton

Life, it always has its ups and downs.  No matter how far along we are at creating the life of our dreams, there will always be challenges. Now this may seem depressing news, but it is quite the opposite.  Challenges provide us a chance to grow. The are the seeds to great opportunity. You could never have the feeling without overcoming a challenge.  The secret to making challenges work for you is what you do with them.  When you find yourself in a troubling situation is your first feeling “Why me?” or how life is not fair?  I’ll admit there are days I am as guilty as the next person of this.  When we are faced with a situation that is not what we desire we can make it work for us. Even if it is completely out of our control, we can still have a victory if we ask ourselves “What can I learn from this?” If you say nothing, just think if you could learn something from it, what would it be?  Maybe it is as simple as who will stand by you when the chips are down, or how you will react when faced with a tough time.

I have a friend who was recently sent to prison.  She is a young single mother and for some serious life mistakes she faces over a year away from her family.  Now she could simply focus on missing her son, or how her life is so far down the wrong path, but she is not.  In fact, she is working on transforming her life while behind bars.  She is beginning to explore things like the love of attraction and the power of positive thinking.  She is working on educating herself in different fields and writing a book to help others who may be headed down the path she went to so that they may not make the same mistakes.  Whenever I receive a letter from her it reminds me how much good can come out of a situation that seems so bad.

The moral is this.  Sometimes life will suck.  The two real secrets are as follows.  First, how to reduce the times that happens.  Second, how to make the most of it when it does. If you can do this your life will be a success.  So this week as we are faced with challenges let us stop and ask ourselves “how can I make this work for me?”.  Be a master of your life, not a victim.

QUALITY AND QUANTITY

There seems to be a statement that is brought to my attention frequently and it may be in the back of your mind as well.  So today we are going to bring it up front and address it.  Honestly before embarking on a life-long journey to live a life as full of passion and meaning as possible this very question plagued me as well.  Ok, I know stop stalling and let us get to the question.  The question I get is this.  “Motivational and inspirational things are great, but they never last and they are never there when I need them most” Although I often feel the same about rum it had me thinking.   Well to answer this I am going to quote the famous motivational speaker and author the late Zig Ziglar who said,

“Motivation doesn’t last.  Neither does bathing.  That is why we need to do it every day”

Following this blog is a great first step into having a motivational pick me up delivered right to your inbox, so be sure to click the link on how to follow this page to make it as easy for you as possible.  I also suggest picking up some Motivational cds to listen to when in the car or if you have a free moment at home.  A book or two would be great as well.  Motivational movies like “The Secret” are good to have around when you just feel like you lose your direction or are just having a bad day.  Feel free to print out your favorite posts from this blog to review when you need.  Remember you are never going to agree with 100% of what anyone says, nor should you.  Each of us has our own unique life and circumstances.  Which is why it is so important to gather as many positive points of view as you can.  Surround yourself with people who are positive motivated people who just might have slightly different way of going about the world.  Keep your mind open to what everyone has to offer.

If we drink a cup of coffee a day (or diet coke or whatever works for you) to keep our bodies going.  We should at the very least expose ourselves to something motivational or inspirational to keep our souls and spirits going.

KELLY’S WORDS OF WISDOM…

Proof that inspiration can strike you anywhere happened to me today.  While I was getting my haircut today the wonderful lady doing the service and I began chatting about all things positive.  She brought back a quote I haven’t heard since I was young.  “It’s like my mom always said” she exclaimed. “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”  As she started rinse the shampoo from my head I started thinking. Which is pretty much all you can do while somebody else is washing your hair.  That is a piece of wisdom a good many of us have heard from childhood.  As I may have mentioned in previous posts, my good friend Jamie taught me to look at things backwards.  Not saying anything mean certainly helps the people you are talking to, or about.  What does it do for us?  I began to meditate on this for a while.  Not to intensely as by this time there were sharp instruments near my head. It reminded me of another quote from the Buddha that I particularly enjoy. I am paraphrasing here as I do have the exact quote in front of me. “Anger is like holding a hot coal with the intention of throwing it at someone else. You are the one who gets burned”  Think about how you feel when you say something about that driver that cut you off. The lazy co-worker whose work you end up doing on top of your own.  The in-laws that won’t mind their own business.  In all of these cases we have a right to be upset, but while verbally lashing out may help us relieve some anger in the short-term, does it really help us feel better?  After leaving the break room while either joining in or sometimes just overhearing a long session of gossip how do you feel?  Now let us flip this around.  We know what will make us feel terrible, but what about the first part of the motherly quote, saying something nice.  Think about how you feel when you tell somebody how nice their spouse is.  How does it make you feel when somebody gives you the same compliment.  I have a good friend Cari, who is very kind and inspirational to a lot of mutual friends we have.  At any given time when the friends are together without her, inevitably her name comes up.  The funny thing is 100% of the time we trade stories telling how amazing she is and what joy she has brought to our lives.  We all end up leaving feeling a little bit happier inside knowing what an amazing friend we have.  Although the compliments are all for Cari and she may never even know they were said (unless of course she reads this post) all of us who said them also receive the gift of joy as well.  It is the opposite of the quote from the Buddha.  Instead of getting ‘burned by the coal of anger’ we are being ‘blessed with the gift of love and compliments’.  So next time you are tempted to join in on some gossip, or curse at the bad driver in front of you.  Do what Kelly told me, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all” It will be better for those on the receiving end, but it will also be better for you level of happiness as well.  Who knows, it may even make the world a little better of a place.

IT DOESN’T JUST HAPPEN

Sometime in our life we went from being the adventure seeking young child, to the adult waiting for life to happen to us.  A view that also affects our view of happiness. I was told the other day that someone was “Never happy, but it’s not their fault because nothing ‘happy’ ever happens to them”.  Here is when a slight change in perception can make all the difference.  Going back to that adventurous toddler, when we are young, we seek out happiness, we don’t just sit in our cribs and wait for it to ‘happen to us’ much to the chagrin of our parents.  When we grow older, however, lots of us just sit in the house and watch tv waiting for something happy to happen.  Here is when a good definition of what happy means to you would certainly help.  While enjoying a cup of coffee at the local Starbucks with a group of friends the other day, I asked them what would make them happy. There were two very different kinds of happiness expressed.  There was what I shall call ‘high excitement’ happiness. The “brand new sports car” “winning the lottery” “night in Vegas” to the ‘low excitement’ variety, “having the dishes done” “a good book and a bottle of wine” “a nice long walk in the woods with my dog”.  Although these answers are very different, they both work for the people who said them. So I asked, why are you not working toward saving for that trip to Vegas? How about working with you spouse to schedule some time alone for a book and a glass of wine.  Sometimes we forget a little pursuing on our behalf, and a change in perspective can make all the difference. Plus, let’s be honest, we all deserve it! Have an amazing day my friends!

THINK…BACKWARDS…

So often I hear people say, “I’m in such a bad mood and I don’t even know why” I must confess to having felt that way before.  This can be a rather perfect scenario for being happy.  Now you may be wondering if I have completely lost my mind.  While that has yet to be determined, at least let me explain my last statement.  When it comes to adding more joy to your life, as with any worthwhile goal, one of the greatest challenges lies in just knowing how.  Let’s face it, if there was a simple step by step plan to a happy life, wouldn’t we all follow it?  One of the greatest challenges I have had in both putting together both this website and my book is people are different.  What makes one person happy, well it may not work for the next person.  So how can we discover what truly makes us happy and develop a formula to continually accomplish that?  I have two suggestions and they are complete opposites and involve thinking backwards. Now before I loose everyone completely, let’s take a step back.  Here is the first method. Even in the darkest of lives there are moments if not days when things just seem to be going your way.  Think back have you ever had one of those days where you are just happy with the world?  Here is a suggestion, try retracing your steps.  What do I mean?  Simple, start from how you are feeling and work back through your day.  Perhaps you had completed a project you were working on?  Maybe you brought a smile to the face of a friend or even a complete stranger.  Maybe you just finished listening to one of your favorite songs on the radio, or working out.  It will be different for everyone, and there may be a few things in there that just seem kind of crazy, but if they lead you to happiness…who cares!  The point here is to look at what makes up a great day for you.  Perhaps write them down on a list, or in a person journal (more on that in later in the week).  Ok, so perhaps you haven’t had one of those days in a while? Maybe you can’t remember what made you so happy, or just want to enjoy the feeling without trying to figure it out. Fair enough.  Even if you find yourself having a miserable day, it is cause to get excited!  Why would feeling miserable be anything to be excited about you may ask.  This is why, it works the same way as being happy.  If you’re having a bad day, stop and think about all the things that transpired to bring you to that point.  Make a list of those things too.  Not only will you come up with a list of things you would do well to eliminate from your life, but if you look at the opposite of those things, you have the seeds for what will make you happy.  So even knowing what you dislike can be a very healthy thing.  If you were to say, I dislike all the negative people I run into.  You will know limiting your exposure to negative people might be something you wish to work on.  You may also phrase it as “adding more positive people to my life would make it better”.  So as this week continues, try thinking backwards and form a plan for your own happiness.  A plan that would be as unique as the person writing it!

FRIENDS…WITH BENEFITS…

To add to the list of great and quite often unexpected benefits of doing our best to live a positive rewarding life is often the things that seem to just show up in your life.  Now of course there is some science as to how this happens.  When you are focusing on the positive, quite often the things that are most positive seem to attract your attention.  Perhaps you suddenly notice a beautiful garden you drive by every day on your way to work.  Perhaps it is a beautiful painting that hangs in your favorite coffee shop.  All these ‘fringe benefits’ continue to add joy to your life, but no area I think has been greater effected then that of the people in it.  This was made very clear to me this afternoon as I shared a cup of coffee with someone for the first time.  As we shared stories of each others lives and she gave me amazing ideas for my upcoming book, I was overwhelmed with how grateful I was to have such a wonderful person enter my life.  So later as I was going over my notes from our discussion and working on the next chapter I reflected on how we came to know each other, and how I may discover more hidden gems in the vast sea of humanity.  Well, here is how we met, and how living a positive life had a key role in that.  One of the most important things you can do to assist you in keeping a positive attitude is to surround yourself with people who are positive.  Now we may not get to choose our family, or our co-workers, but we can choose who we talk to and who we become friends with.  As i mentioned earlier, once you’re focusing on the positive it seems to stand out everywhere.  I couldn’t help but notice this young lady every time I bought a cup of coffee where she worked.  She always had a smile and a kind word for everyone she helped.  One of those people you just can’t help but smile after sharing a moment with them.  So naturally when I began working on my book about living a positive life, she came to mind as someone who might have some great insight.  I asked her if we could share a cup of coffee and perhaps I could ask her about her source of happiness and how she shares it with others. After having the chance to do just that, I not only gained a great insight in ways to become and remain positive, I also gained a dear friend.  Upon reflection, since I began this journey in earnest about a year ago, I have noticed without much effort on my part, negative people have seemed to naturally fade from my life and I am continually introduced and surrounded by more and more positive people.  Just another pleasant ‘side effect’ to look forward to as we make our way to a more positive and rewarding life!