Tag: Love

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE (DAY #26)

Welcome back to our celebration of 30 days of gratitude. Each day we will focus on one area of our life to be grateful for. If this is your first day doing this I invite you to go back and do the days before this. You can do them in your head, write them down and home, but it is my hope you decide to share what you are grateful for with our community here on Secret2anamazinglife.com. There are no rules. Do one day or do all 30. Let us now look at today’s area of gratitude.

Another one of those “I have never thought of that before.” moments. Form of expression? There are so many ways in which we can express ourselves. Vocally, literarily, musically, physically, artistically, through dance and a million different ways. With the advent of the internet we can express our thoughts and opinions to individuals halfway across the globe.

Personally, I am grateful to be able to express myself in the written word. Although not really introverted, it is a great way for individuals that may have difficulting expressing themselves publicly to still be able to share the important stories they have. Our friend Nicole expresses herself through drawing. Fortunately for me, I was able to employ that talent to provide Margie with an amazing and heartfelt gift. Speaking of my lovely Margie, she expresses herself in a million different ways. Through her cooking, painting, singing, the way she arranges her flowers, the way she decorates around the house and many other ways. I think the more you pay attention to someone, the more you will observe them expressing themselves in everything they do. This can be extremely helpful if you are relating to someone who may have reservations about expressing themselves openly. With a little extra effort, you will still be able to deduce their feelings and desires.

How about you? What is your favorite way to express yourself? Where do you channel your emotions and feelings?

CLICK HERE TO GET NEIL’S BOOK FULL OF IDEAS TO MAKE YOUR LIFE AMAZING!! 🙂

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE (DAY #20)

Welcome back to our celebration of 30 days of gratitude. Each day we will focus on one area of our life to be grateful for. If this is your first day doing this I invite you to go back and do the days before this. You can do them in your head, write them down and home, but it is my hope you decide to share what you are grateful for with our community here on Secret2anamazinglife.com. There are no rules. Do one day or do all 30. Let us now look at today’s area of gratitude.

Once again, my answer was quick in coming for this question. My answer to who in my life I am grateful for is – EVERYONE. Really Neil? Everyone? Yes. Everyone. Of course I am grateful for all of the people who bring goodness into my life. The person who gives me great customer service. The friend who is always there to listen. The coworkers who help make my job easier and the day more pleasant. All of the people who share with me their stories of inspiration. The followers of this blog post. It is those of you who read it that keep me writing. More to the point, I am grateful for those who interact with this online community as well. A like, a comment or creating a discussion, that makes it all worth while. Those who have read my book, especially those who let me know what they thought of it.

What about those less than pleasant people? The person who provided little to no customer service? How about the waitress who refused to wait on me because she just was divorced and hated men? (This really happened one day when I had lunch with my mother) What about those you thought were good friends that have disappointed you with gossip or betrayal? How about the coworker who always complains or makes your job more difficult than it needs to be? Am I really grateful for those people? Yes. Just like other areas of my life, I either win (have a great personal interaction) or I learn (have a not so great personal interaction)

In the book The Power by Rhonda Byrne, the sequel to the very popular book The Secret, these people are referred to as a P.E.T. That stands for ‘Personal Emotional Trainer’. Have you ever heard someone say, “That person really tried my patience!”? That is exactly what they are doing. Giving you an opportunity to practice and grow such valuable traits as patience, compassion, understanding and even anger management. These can only be done with people who upset you. They are helping you to grow and develop your character. Be grateful for them too.

I am grateful to all of my close family and friends. They have indeed practiced these traits with me over the years. That has taught me by example. Most of all, I am grateful to the person who has the toughest job in the world – my lady Margie. It cannot be easy being the girlfriend of a man who wears so many hats (postal worker, DJ, author, blogger, speaker, YouTube creator) who doesn’t really sleep, who has crazy ideas at all hours of the day. Who is constantly wanting to do different things to make sure we have the best relationship possible. I am sure that cannot be easy. I am grateful for everything she has taught me not only about love and friendship, but even about myself.

How about you? Is your list of those you are grateful for as long as mine? Is there someone who has really touched your life that you are grateful for? This is the perfect time and place to mention them.

CLICK HERE TO GET NEIL’S BOOK FILLED WITH IDEAS TO MAKE YOUR LIFE AMAZING

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE (DAY #19)

Welcome back to our celebration of 30 days of gratitude. Each day we will focus on one area of our life to be grateful for. If this is your first day doing this I invite you to go back and do the days before this. You can do them in your head, write them down and home, but it is my hope you decide to share what you are grateful for with our community here on Secret2anamazinglife.com. There are no rules. Do one day or do all 30. Let us now look at today’s area of gratitude.

We will get to what should be my favorite obvious answer in just a moment. I want to share a few more ideas that jumped to mind when I read this question. I am grateful for the touch of water on my skin in a nice hot shower. This is great after a workout or just a tough day. I love the touch of water all over my skin as I dive in the ocean. I prefer it near the equator and warm, but just being suspended in water feels so good. I love the touch of the sun’s rays on my face as I walk in the cold winter weather.

I am grateful for the touch of a handshake. Weather that means someone is extolling their friendship with me, introducing themselves or cementing a promise they have recently made. I am grateful for a hand on my shoulder when I am having a tough day. I am grateful for a pat on the back to let me know I have done a good job.

My favorite touch is one of affection from my lady. Her hugs are the stuff of legend. The touch of her lips on mine still gives me butterflies. The touch of her skin on mine gives me shivers of delight. The touch of her hand in mine is reassuring. It can be so helpful after a tough day, just while we are out together or to reaffirm how much she cares.

What is your favorite touch? What are you grateful for? Is it the warm fur of your four legged friend? Is it dancing in the rain? Are you grateful for the touch of a loved one like Margie and me? 

CLICK HERE TO GET NEIL’S BOOK FILLED WITH IDEAS TO MAKE YOUR LIFE AMAZING!!

A DEDICATION TO AMY

I realize reading a blog post on a Sunday here is most unusual. We are going to take a break from our gratitude list to discuss a very special friend of mine – Amy. I had met Amy through my lovely lady, Margie. Right from the beginning, Amy and I clicked. We had many conversations  about life, friendship and philosophy. Throughout it all, Amy was always grateful and kind. You can see this in the picture of our messages above.

Amy had a host of health issues she battled. These both restricted her movement and caused her a great deal of pain. She never let that stop her from fulfilling her passion of creating hand-made stuffed animals. Margie purchased a penguin for me that she had made. The quality was amazing. Amy created every animal conceivable from buffalo to mythical creatures such as dragons. In doing so, she brought joy into so many people’s lives. One of the many great things about

Amy is she was always open about her struggles and how she was facing them. I have a Facebook group where people come to share what inspires them and the struggles they may be facing getting there. It is a great online community that helps everyone who is a part of it. When Amy joined she gave herself over completely. She not only shared her struggles so that others may learn from her, but she listened and did her best to help others with their struggles as well. In doing this she became friends with many of the members including my frind Cari, another amazing caring soul. I can only imagine how difficult it may have been for Amy to do this while she was going through her own struggles but she did. Many people would be focused on  and consumed by their own pain and unwilling or unable to comfort others, not Amy.

It made me proud to have a friend that was so giving in a time where she had the right to be a little selfish. She made all of us proud with her creations that will give joy to the lives of all of them who have the privilege to have one. I am sure everyone who recieved one, much like myself, had an additional bit of happiness in their lives.

Amy also was kind enough to let me know how much my work affected her and how grateful she was for that. Many of my readers never say a single thing in regards to how my work may play a part in their lives. That is ok as long as they are reading and it is offering something to make their lives better. Amy, however, would take the time out of her busy day to let me know how she was usuing what I wrote about and how it both worked, and what did not work for her. I was always so grateful to her for hearing this and told her so. It makes what I do fulfilling. It is also my inspiration to keep writing and bringing all the material to the world that I do. It is people like Amy who keep me inspired to do so.

Sadly, last week we lost Amy. She passed away unexpectedly. While she was here she made a great difference in many people’s lives. She brought joy and happiness with her creative creations she shared with the world. She brought feelings of empathy, love and compassion to all of those she touched in our online community. She also brought a great feeling of value and appreciation to this writer. Amy will be missed greatly. It is my sincere hope that she knew how much she brought to the world and how much she helped every life she touched.

With the loss of those who know and care about, I find there is always a lesson. In Amy’s case I feel there are a few. First, use the gifts you have to bring joy to others. Whether that is sewing amazing animals, baking a great cake, singing a song or any other talent you may have. Second, is to offer those you meet who are struggling with a sense of understanding and compassion. Lastly, is to let those around you who affect you positively know. In expressing your gratitude you offer a great gift that means the world to the other person. I know I will miss these gifts Amy brought to the world but will do my best to instill them myself. I encourage you to do the same as a dedication to Amy.

56 YEAR-OLD ADVICE THAT IS PERFECT FOR TODAY


I am about to share words with you from a speech that was written exactly 56 years before this post. The crazy thing about these words is they are just what I believe the world needs to hear today. According to a recent survey, 91% of Americans feel we are polarized. 74% say we are extremely so. I believe this holds true not just in the country of the United States, but across the globe. Combine this with studies that say the level of anger people feel is also on the rise. I am not sure if the two are connected, but divided people often lead to angry and sometimes violent confrontation.

Back to the words of this speech. Exactly 56 years ago this speech was written with the intent of it being read at the Municipal Auditorium in Austin Texas. It was to be given to the Democratic State Committee. Let me share an excerpt from that speech with you now.

“Let us not quarrel amongst ourselves when our Nation’s future is at stake. Let us stand together with renewed confidence in our cause — united in our heritage of the past and our hopes for the future — and determined that this land we love shall lead all mankind into new frontiers of peace and abundance.”

Pretty powerful words and a call for unity with a powerful view for a positive future. The reason you have never heard about this speech? It was never given. The man who was to read it, President John F. Kennedy was assassinated on his way to deliver it. It is with a sad bit of irony that I wish to include another line from his undelivered speech.

“In today’s world, freedom can be lost without a shot being fired, by ballots as well as bullets.”

Sadly, the killer chose the latter in his quest to bring chaos to freedom. In the coming months we are set to celebrate many holidays both religious and secular. We will gather with friends and family. I want to encourage all of us to take this time to use a power greater than bullets or even ballots, that of love. This may sound a bit silly to some, but there is no greater power than love.

If we want our tomorrows, the next year and the next decade to be filled with more unity and less anger we need to use this power. It all starts with our interactions with each other. If you encounter someone who has an opinion different than yours, no matter how passionate both of you are, do your best to be compassionate and understanding. Agree to disagree as the old cliché goes. Share smiles and good news with those you work with. Join a group…any group. Maybe it is one that shares your hobby? Maybe a book club?

While we are focused on spreading love on a personal level, I would also advocate using the power of the ballot. Vote for those who encourage peace, unity and acceptance. The ability to choose those who hold power is not only a great privilege, it is also a great responsibility. Do not let your emotions and treatment of others be swayed by the media or political climate. Show that your love is stronger than any force doing their best to divide us.

CLICK HERE TO GET NEIL’S BOOK FULL OF IDEAS TO MAKE YOUR LIFE AMAZING!!!

GROW LIKE A SHARK!


If you haven’t already, take a moment to read the quote in the picture above. In my both of my books I advocate a very important principle called “Pick Your Posse”. In which I give you some simple steps to surround yourself with positive and driven people to make your life even more amazing than it is today.
It is said that you are the sum of the 5 people you surround yourself with the most. I have met a lot of people who doubt that this is true. I am not 100% sure the exact number is 5, but let me assure you that you are indeed affected more than you might realize by the people around you. To help you realize how this happens let you provide you with an example. While working as DJs Margie and I are surrounded by both a lot of people and a lot of couples. Often, these couples are not their best after having consumed some cocktails. We have seen couples both verbally, emotionally and more often than I care to see, physically abuse each other. This could leave us with 2 conclusions. First, you see this often enough and it can’t help but dampen your enthusiasm about love and relationships. Second, you do leave with a feeling of gratitude (always a great and powerful emotion) saying to ourselves, “I am glad you are not like that man/woman.” or more to the point, “I am glad we are not like that couple.” This is good and does serve as a great warning of what could happen if we don’t work hard. there is a downside to that.
In our grateful attitude about being more emotionally mature, respectful or whatever difference may set us apart from those couples, it can leave us blind to, or lessen the concern for, issues we could be improving on. Instead of being concerned that our communication may be slipping from the great standard we like to keep it at, we may feel content that we are not screaming at each other like the couple we saw last night. Perhaps we have let our work commitments take us away from being as affectionate as our partner may like. We may not be as concerned because we are not grinding against someone else like that couple last weekend. I equate it to running a race against people you know you will always beat. Sure, you may win every time but will you get faster?
Do not get me wrong, there are lots of amazing couples we are blessed to have join us every weekend. In fact, we encourage them to come back every weekend. Watching them love and respect each other can inspire us and give us new ideas on ways that we can do the same for each other. We make it a point to search out and spend as much time as we can with couples that are even more loving and connected than we are. It not only reaffirms our faith in love, but pushes us to up our game when it comes to love.
This is just one example. The same holds true for keeping your faith, gossiping about others, staying positive, staying driven in your business or any other area of your life. Here is a great piece of wisdom. Whatever area of your life is lacking, begin by surrounding yourself with people who are exceling in that field at a high level. By associating with them you will both learn and be motivated to excel yourself. Pick your posse carefully. If you need help doing this feel free to pick up a copy of my book for additional tips.

CLICK HERE TO GET NEIL’S BOOK FILLED WITH IDEAS TO MAKE YOUR LIFE AMAZING!!

A SIMPLE FORMULA FOR SUCCESS

A lot of people will see this quote and think that it is not so. Of course a lot of people live a life that is south of amazing. Whether you are studying the law of attraction, business or quantum physics, you undoubtedly understand what you focus on expands in your life. The average person looks for and anticipates problems that may exist in any situation. It is a survival mechanism and can be extremely helpful. If, however, you are not just looking to survive in life, but to thrive, I suggest taking a slightly different approach.

Looking for challenges that might pop up in life is smart and I do so myself. Looking for and preparing for challenges is far different than focusing on them. When you are focused on seeing something in your life you will find it. When you are not focused on something in your life you may miss it even though it is right in front of you. If you find this hard to believe, stay tuned we will have a fun and simple experiment that you can do to prove it to yourself in just a second. First let us digest the theory that you notice what you focus on and miss what you don’t. There are people who are constantly telling others how rough their life is. How they have the worst luck. Wouldn’t you know that tends to hold true. You look at their life and some crazy things happen to them that are not that pleasant. It is not the things that happen that lead to the attitude, but the attitude that can perpetuate the events.

Those who have this challenging life may be rebeling at the notion of this, but that does not make it any less real. When you are determined to see the challenges in your life that make it such a struggle they will stand out nice and tall. Meanwhile, any good fortune you may have will go under appreciated at best, or even unnoticed at worst. When you life has a run a good luck your subconscious mind will spring into action and say, “Well he keeps saying we have bad luck. Let us go find some!” Believe me when I tell you I had a hard time accepting how responsible I was for my own life at first too. To help all of us along I am going to share a quick experiment with you that you can do wherever you are to demonstrate how true this is.

 

THE EXPERIMENT

 

Wherever you are right now whether it is at your home office, driving in a car, on the job or anywhere else this will be fun. First, clear your mind the best you can. Next, look around you for anything you see that is red. Find red anything. Red signs, people wearing red clothes, a red stop sign or anything else red. Look for red. See red and note that thing. Now close your eyes for a second (unless you are doing this experiment driving) and think of something around you that is brown. Rather hard to do isn’t it? A million brown things could have been surrounding you but you would not have noticed them because you were looking for something that is red. In fact, when you were looking for things that were red did you notice things that were maybe a dark shade of pink or wine colored just so you could have another thing that was red?

This is a basic example of how our minds work. Imagine if you will, how our life would change if we would use this for gratitude, for example. Gratitude is one of the most powerful emotions we can feel. How great would our life be if we looked for everything we loved in a situation? Think of how life would be if when we are stuck in traffic next time we played this game and asked ourselves over and over, “What can I be grateful for in this situation?” or “What do I love about this situation?”

I can tell you this formula has worked miracles in my life. I am not exagerating, but do not take my word for it. Use this experiment yourself. Do it for 21 days randomly throughout the day. Start with times you are enjoying yourself. This is a little easier and helps the brain get into the habit. Next, try it when you are waiting in line at the store, stuck in traffic or dealing with a difficult customer. Every time you use it, you will get better and so will your life. Feel free to share your experiences with using this formula.

MAKE ‘QUALITY’ TIME FOR WHAT YOU LOVE

This is a picture of my beautiful, but silly, Margie and myself out for a late-night breakfast. It was from a while ago as you can see I still have long hair. It is worth noting that we work quite a bit and between that and our social obligations we rarely find time to escape just the two of us. For those of you who have followed my work for any length of time,  you know Margie is the thing I love most in my life. For those of you new to the game, now you know as well.

Today’s post is all about not just taking time for the things you love in life, but making sure that time is quality time. Spending time with those you love is a great example. If you are on a romantic date, keep your phone off the table and out of your hand. Look into each other’s eyes when you are speaking to one another. My writing is another thing that I am extremely passionate about and look forward to. When I am going to write I need to have my mind focused on writitng, I need to have a fair amount of time available. If I am bothered by a situation that is upseting me or know that I have to be to work shortly, the writitng will not only suffer, but the time spent doing it will be rushed and not enjoyable.

How do we make sure the time we spend doing the things we love with the people we love is of the best quality? That is a question that we should ask ourselves on a regular basis. Life is short and fleeting. Magical moments we have can happen only once in a lifetime. We owe it to ourselves to make sure that we make the most out of them. When you are about to spend time with someone you love or do something you love, take a few minutes ahead of time to ask yourself, “How can I fully enjoy and make the most out of what I am about to do?” The answers will vary from situation to situation, but just by focusing on the situation will increase your odds significantly.

In general there are two things I find that can help you get the most out of any situation. These are not by any means the only things you can do, but are a good foundation. The first thing I suggest is setting a goal for the time you spent. This may sound terribly unromantic and not spontaneous, but hear me out. When my friend Russ came up for a visit from Arizona we had a million things we would like to do. In an effort to accomplish a fraction of them we set goals of what we would like to accomplish. Certainly, we did not get them all done but did make the most of the time we spent together. Having a goal for the time you spend doesn’t mean you have to be regid or not spontaneous. When a long work week has kept Margie and I apart, I always think how much I want to spend quality time in her presence. Sometimes that includes an evening of snacks and a movie at home. Knowing I want to enjoy her more than the movie, I make sure to steal glances at her beautiful face. I appreciate her lovely eyes and enjoy all of her cute expressions as she watches the movie. As the movie progresses, I even enjoy the sound of her sleeping next to me.

Having a goal makes doing the next thing I recommend a little easier. Always do your best to be present in the moment. Let us say you are going for a nice stroll through the park with the one you love. (Something Margie and I are looking to do more often) Instead of spending all of the time on your phone, try looking for animals in the park together. Notice how beautiful the natural scenery is around you. Being present is more than just being physically present. Make sure you are also mentally present. This can be even more difficult, but is even more important. If you are spending time with family and friends but worried about a situation at the office you will fail to enjoy the break you have. Do your best to clear your mind. Often, that is when solutions can present themselves. Meditation exercises can help this.

I would love to hear what steps you take to make sure the time you spend is quality time. Let us share with each other and we can all begin to live amazing lives!

SEE THE ‘I LOVE YOU’ ALL AROUND YOU

One of my favorite books for improving relationships is The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. In this book Mr. Chapman explores the different ways in which people both show and receive love. A quick example can be where one person enjoys the physical intimacy of touch, while another needs verbal appreciation. This can challenging when two people in a relationship express love in different ways. It can seem at times they are speaking two different languages. In essence, they really are.

While this can present a host of unique challenges, it can also present plenty of great opportunities. We may be missing plenty of expressions of love that surround us every day. People today, men especially it would seem, tend to be indirect in their appreciation. What do I mean by that? It would be most unlikely that someone may call or email you and say directly, “I just wanted to contact you and tell you how much I appreciate you.” They may, however, tell you how much they enjoyed your company the other night at dinner or even how much they enjoy your company in general.

A fair amount of time, things may not even be that direct. Your husband may help put away the dishes. Your wife may sit down and watch a show that you know she has no interest in just to be next to you. When you are having cocktails at your local watering hole and the bartender politely suggests you also enjoy a glass of water, they are showing they care about your well-being. When you drop your friend off after a fun night out and they tell you, “Text me when you get home.” It is a way of saying “I love and care about you and your safety. I will be a lot more at peace when I know you have arrived at your desitination unharmed.” I am going to venture a guess all of that thought will not have went into their statement and may not have crossed their mind in exactly that way, but that is the sentiment behind it.

Whether it is parents offering you food when you stop by to visit, or a small child giving you a craft item they have made, these are statements of love. In their own way they are saying, “This is what I have to offer. Please take it because you are special to me and I want you to feel that.” Again, these thoughts may not play out in such a complete fashion, but if you were to break it down, that is what would be conveyed.

What is the point of all of this? Simply this, we live in a world where love is all around us. Quite often negativity and hate get all the headlines, but stopping to notice and appreciate all of the love is esential to living an amazing life. In these examples, as well as countless others, love can often live in disguise. By noticing all of the subtle ways in which people tell us we are loved, we can realize that there is more goodness in this world than we often appreciate. As a side effect, we will realize how many people feel and show us love on a daily basis. Even though that is not what they may call it directly. Feeling all of this love can go a long way to helping us deal with the constant stream of challenges we face. 

NEVER CUT DOWN A TREE IN WINTER

This is a very important statement to ponder. You may even wish to print it out and keep it somewhere as a reminder. As I write this I am sitting in a newer Starbucks that has windows almost everywhere. This normally would be ideal, except it is like winter in Wisconsin where I live. Add to that I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder. For those of you who are unfamiliar with what this disorder, more commonly known as S.A.D., is allow me to explain. S.A.D. is a condition that physically changes a person during the dark dreary months of winter. There are changes in hormonal levels that cause irritability at best and can bring on seasonal depression at worse. 

As you may imagine, this can be quite a challenge for someone who lives for inspiring and encouraging others. That challenge is compounded by living in a state that seems to have winter 9 months out of the year. We are working on changing that. (San Diego stay tuned) I can be in moods that are less than ideal in the coming months. Fortunately for me, the passion I have leads me to look for solutions instead of just acknowledge the problems.

It has also instilled in me a passion for controlling my emotional states. This can be helpful all year long. It is often tempting to make a decision when we are in an extreme emotional state. Especially when we are angry. The adrenaline these emotions give us can leave us feeling more powerful and motivated. Generally, this is a positive aspect of life and can be great if we use it to go to the gym and have an intense workout for example. This is why it is so important to have a healthy way of dealing with anger put in place before it occurs.

Extreme emotional states can twist our perception of reality. We tend to see things different than they really are and very often worse than they really are. Remember just as we have days that are meant to challenge us and make us grow, so do others. A good portion of the world has not learned to use challenges for growth. Sometimes their ignorance may manifest as poor treatment of you. Instead of getting mad and treating them harshly, why not use their treatment of you as an example of how to use challenges for growth. In my past, I did not always respond to challenging situations in a healthy way. It was those who responded with patience and understanding that taught me far more than those who responded with anger of their own.

Here is another reason, albeit a bit more selfish one, to not respond in anger. It saves you from looking like a fool. We all know a couple that personifies this. One day they are posting how terrible each other are on social media. They next day they are madly in love. Not only does this make you look silly, it weakens your relationship and calls into question the integrity of your character. Although having it in black and white for the world to read is pretty dramatic, the same holds true for what you say in person. If you are having a disagreement with someone be it your friend, spouse or coworker and you proceed to share the details and bad mouth them to everyone you see, it does not reflect as poorly on them as it does on you. Imagine what the person you are talking to will think when you have a disagreement with them? Fight to master your emotions. It will serve you, it will serve those who are in your life.Â