How many of us have took a hit from life and have been left feeling totally helpless? I know I have. We can hear ourselves saying, “Look what happened to me. It is not my fault!” You would be right. Getting knocked down is not our fault. It is also usually beyond our control to some extent. What is in our control is whether we stay down or not. Events may be beyond our control, but how we respond to them is 100% in our control.
Realize that we have control over our mind and not outside events. If we use our energy to try and control outside events, that is a fool’s errand. If, however, we put that same time and energy towards strengthening our mind, which we have control over, than we are making a solid investment with our time and energy. Work on improving your ability to respond intelligently. Work on practicing patience and objectivity. These are where your strength is and it is also where your best chance to impact outside events occurs.
Today, make an investment in your inner world and cease being so concerned with controlling your outside world. This is often beyond our control. We can control our minds. It is in this endeavor that we should put all of our efforts toward.
The work week has begun and we are all on our own journeys. The quote above has two amazing points. The first one is just that. Our journeys are unique to us. When we see someone doing something that does not make sense to us, we must remember that their journey is different than ours. Where we are going and where we have been is very different from them and their life. Even if something seems to make no sense to us, if we consider that their experiences and thoughts may be the exact opposite, it could make perfect sense to them.
Keeping these facts in mind will allow us to forgo judgement and approach each other with compassion. Not everyone, dare I say not anyone, we cross paths with will have the same destination, the same beliefs or the same journey. We may even be heading towards the same destination, but are taking different paths. That is ok. That last fact is something very important to keep in mind. It is ok if someone’s journey takes a different path than our own. It is not only ok, it is what gives life its variety. If everyone’s journey and destination were exactly the same, life would be insanely boring. Even when we find ourselves seemingly sharing a journey with someone, know in reality it is just that our paths are crossing for that period of time.
The second point is perhaps the most important. When our paths do cross, we should do our best to encourage and lift each other up. How many times do we get a chance to share the journey of life with each other? It is not as many as you think. Even with those in our household, or those we see every day at work. There can be a million reasons why these paths may go their separate ways. People can get promoted. They can decide to pursue a different path in life. Sadly, they can also pass away. We can never be certain that our paths will cross again.
I can think of no better legacy to leave behind than to be remembered as someone who has positively impacted the lives of others. This does not have to be someone like a Mother Teresa who used her extreme love and compassion to care for some of the most neglected members of society. Although, there is always room for people like that. Positively impacting people can be as simple as always sharing a smile and encouraging word with those you come in contact with. How valuable are those two things when we are having a rough day? The gift of hope can be one of the most valuable gifts we can give.
When you cross paths with someone today, remember those two facts. First, their path and journey are different than yours. This holds true for everyone in your life. From strangers you meet for a moment, to those you live with. Our paths may cross for a little, or a long time, but our journeys are still our own. Second, remember to encourage everyone you cross paths with. You never know how hard their journey is, and you can never be sure you will cross paths with them again.
Today is one of the most important posts I have written in a while. I will be appearing on television on Tuesday to discuss ’10 minutes to change the world’. The link will be shared in a post later in the week. This started me thinking on what we could all do in 10 minutes to change our worlds. The answer reflected something that occurred to me and played perfectly into the subject of my upcoming fourth book. I am going to give all of you a peak at this today.
I am going to share the 10 minutes that changed my world and give you the tools and strategies that I took out of that. These same very tools and strategies you can use to change your own life. The great change occurred in November of 2021. I had a doctor’s appointment earlier in the day, in which I had scheduled my open-heart surgery. In typical Neil fashion, I choose January 11 because the date would be “1-11-22”. That would be a full house. Had to be lucky I deduced. I also choose ‘high-noon’ as the time. Why? Because I always heard them say that in westerns and I thought it sounded cool. This is the way in which I approached one of the most important moments of my life.
That evening I went to the movie with my lovely lady, Margie. The story is explained in detail in my third book, The Beat Goes On, available on Amazon. While there, two thoughts occurred to me. First, never drink several cups of coffee before sitting down to a movie that is over two hours. Second, and the point of this blog, is that this could be the last movie I saw with the woman I love. As I excused myself to attend to the first matter, the second started bouncing around in my head. It was November. My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving, and this could be the last one I enjoyed. Same with Christmas, and most importantly, my lady’s birthday which falls on December 15th.
All of these thoughts had been precipitated by a comment the doctor’s nurse had said. She informed us that due to where they were operating, there was a chance of death or stroke. Seeing my look of concern, she reassured me, “It would be a mini stroke in anything.” I asked if it would also be a mini death. This was said in jest, but turned out to be more accurate than I would have thought. Again, that full story is in the book.
While attending to my business in the men’s room, these thoughts bounced around my head. Here is a fact that may surprised you, and certainly surprised me – it did not scare me. What it did was create a sense of urgency. I realized that someone had set a timer for two months and pushed go. I thought of the hourglass and the sand slowly, but continually, running from top to bottom. If there were only two months left to spend with my lady, how could I make her understand and feel the intense love that I had for her? What memories did I want to create? How could I make those holidays, and her birthday, as special and memorable as they could be? Then, I started to think about the other people in my life. How could I do the same for them? What about those of you who read this website? How could I continue to put forth a positive influence even after I was gone? My head started spinning.
As I returned to my seat next to Margie, my brain was working overtime. My fingers were drumming on the seat. Margie, half annoyed and half curious, asked what was wrong. I told her I would tell her after the movie. Unable to focus on the superheroes fighting to save the earth, I gave myself over to my thoughts. When the credits were rolling, I had to be nudged awake by my beautiful lady. I explained all about my time being fleeting and the urgency to create the best memories and convey the most love. She began by assuring me she believed I was not going to die. Seeing this did not satisfy my spinning thoughts, she said something quite simple yet profound. “Let us make a list of everything we want to do, and everything you want to make people feel.”
I began to appreciate the relativity of time. Waiting 2 months for my upcoming Bahamas vacation has seemed like forever. Having two months to think of, plan and carry out life-lasting memories? That seemed such a fleeting time it was next to impossible. As I began to work on all of this, a sobering, but powerful, thought occurred to me. We are all going to die. That may sound negative, but it really shouldn’t. It is a fact. Every single one of us has an internal hourglass that has sand running from the top to the bottom. Here is an interesting fact. None of us can see how much sand is in the top. Whether we are 18 or 80, it can be a lot, or only a few grains. There are certainly facts that can slow the sand. We can enjoy a healthy diet, exercise regularly, and most importantly, manage our stress effectively. This, however, is no guarantee. In my case, I was working out four days a week, meditating every night and still had an aneurism. This was due to a deformed heart valve I was born with that I never even knew I had. This was the same condition that killed the writer of the the movie and play Rent. He never even knew he had it. Just dropped over. That is why we should all be aware of that hourglass.
Look around at those in your life. What if you did not have tomorrow to tell them how you truly feel? You could be gone tomorrow or they could. Sobering, yes. True? absolutely. The sand is running out for all of us. We can deny it, or “not think of such dark things”, but that does not change the reality of them. What is the secret to living an amazing life in the time that we have left? I say it is by embracing those very facts!
It is the fact that life ends that makes it so valuable. If we lived forever, there would be no urgency and little value to what we did daily. The fact that life is fleeting, and can end at any second, makes it priceless. This holds true for both us and everyone we come in contact with. If there is one thing all of humanity has in common, it is the fact that we will all die. Here is what I propose. Embrace that fact. Start by thinking of what you want to be remembered for. I often suggest people take a shot at writing their own eulogy. What do you want those you love to say, and more to the point, remember about you? Then, look at if you are indeed that person. If not, what actions can you take to change that and become who you want to be? Is it something you need to say? Something you need to do? Realize the time is passing. Get yourself an hourglass to provide a poignant reminder.
There is some debate as to Crazy Horse actually saying this. However, the point is this. Live every day that if you were to die, you would be at peace with that fact. Go to sleep at night with your soul at peace. That means to make sure your loved ones understand how much you care. It means having your legacy in place so that those who come after you will continue to learn from the person you are.
This simple quote is a key to creating amazing relationships. In this “look at me” world, almost everyone is seeking their 15 minutes of fame. That means, if you take time to express genuine appreciation to anyone, for just about anything, you will certainly stand out in a positive light.
How about you? Try this for 2 weeks. Every day, express genuine appreciation to someone different. Be sincere and don’t expect anything in return. I guarantee that in 2 weeks you will have much improved relationships.
I would really wish to express my sincere appreciation for all of you who read this, and even more for those who share it as well. With your help, we are working to make the world a more positive place for everyone. I would love to hear who you are going to appreciate and the results of your 2 week trial.
Sometimes we over complicate life. When it comes to finding more joy and less stress, it can often be assimple as prioritizing the things that bring us joy. I wouldn’t even worry so much about reducing the things that bring us stress. If we just focus as much of our energy as we can to finding and doing things that bring us joy, the stressful stuff will naturally begin to fall away.
How about you? What brings you joy? What makes your heart soar?
There is one activity that I believe we could all benefit by doing. This one activity alone could not only change our life, but the way we approach the world in general. Enough people did this, we would change the world. It does not matter if you live in Uganda, Fiji, The Bahamas or right here in Wisconsin where I do. This activity will work no matter what your gender, race, religion or political belief. It is not an expensive or complicated activity. You can spend as long as you like on it. Although, the secret is, the more time you spend on it, and the more often you do it, the more effective it will become. This activity can help you make better choices and help bring clarity to the choices you have to make. It can help you pick a career that suits you as well as a romantic partner that will best meet your needs.
This activity is introspection. As unexciting as that may sound, it is a skill not many people, if any, master today. Do not believe me? Look at anyone waiting in any kind of line. What are they doing? You know the answer to this one. They are on their phone. Sitting alone at a coffee shop? On the computer or phone. There is very little getting out in nature and spending time thinking about who we really are. We chose jobs based on money or advice from others. We chose romantic partners based on looks or charm. How many of us sit and write down a list of our most important values and what our goals are? How many of us really have a clear picture of who we are?
When you know what is important to you, your time is well spent. When you know what your goals are, you know what direction to move in. When you know this, you know what decisions to make. If you don’t know the first thing about the person in the mirror, these decisions can seem very complicated and confusing. Life will be more stressful. How much easier would your life be if you know exactly who you were, what was important to you and what goals you were chasing?
This week, spend some time really getting to know the person in the mirror. It will allow you to perform well above the average person. In addition, it will remove a lot of stress from your decisions and your life. Gaining clarity and your values and your self-identity is like spending time digging in a vein of pure gold. You may be surprised at what you discover when you investigate the most interesting person in the world – the one in the mirror.
Almost the end of January. How are those New Year’s resolutions coming along? According to the University of Scranton, 80% of us have forgotten ours by January 12th. If you have already found yourself unable to keep up with the lofty goals you imagined around the first of the month, fear not. It is time to tackle those once again. This time, perhaps a little more intelligently.
One of the main issues with keeping up with our lofty goals is just that, they are too lofty. As the quote above says, “If you want to move a mountain, start with small stones.” Is your goal to eat healthy in the new year? Start with adding one healthy meal to your day. That will leave less room for junk food. You can slowly work that up to two meals or more as you gain momentum.
Many people do this when it comes to working out. The gyms are packed on January first, and deserted by the first of the following month. You can’t go from binge watching television and eating pizza every day to working out three times a week and running on weekends. It is just not sustainable. Instead, start with a walk after dinner. Do that three times a week. Once a week try taking the stairs instead of the elevator. Even easier, try parking a little further away from the store and getting a few extra steps that way. Many of you may be thinking “That will not give me the results I am looking for.” You may be right, but neither will working out for less than a month and quitting. What you need to do is build up a habit and momentum. That is made a lot easier if it is not so painful. If you are left feeling like you could do more, that is great. You can and will do more, just give it time.
Whether you are struggling to maintain your resolution or have just given up on it all together. It is time to start a new. This time start moving that mountain by picking up small stones. Just like the literal translation of this metaphor, you will gain strength that will allow you to pick up bigger and bigger stones as the year progresses. Give yourself the best chance for success. Start small and think big!
Monday can be one of the toughest days of the week for many of us. That is one of the reasons we exist. Here at Secret2anamazinglife, we supply motivation and inspiration you can use to get you through, not only Monday, but the rest of the week as well. Today we are giving you this little bit of wisdom to ponder as you start the weekly grind.
What can make Monday tough for some of us is our coworkers. We all have one that can get under our skin. It might not even be coworkers, but people we encounter throughout the day. Customers, the inconsiderate person on the road in front of us, or a million other souls in which we share this planet with. They often provide us with plenty of opportunities to practice our character building skills. This is great and is certainly something we should be grateful for. Unfortunately, this is not easy to remember early in the morning before the coffee has kicked in.
Just remember two words – react or respond. One gives the control of your emotional well-being, your life and your day to the knuckleheads we were discussing earlier. When we react to what others do, we let them determine how we will feel and how our day will go. If, however, we decide to intelligently respond to their actions, we say something entirely different. We are saying, albeit in our head most of the time, “Despite your foolish manner of acting, I am not going to let it disrupt my rockstar flow.” In slightly cruder terms, it is like giving them half a peace sign, or maybe a whole one if we are really in self-control, to those who could ruin our day with their thoughtless actions.
Two words to remember for the week ahead – react or respond. One gives control of your life away. The other keeps control right where it belongs, with us.Who do you want to control your life? You or someone else?
This is so true. Even yours truly, the man who wrote A Happy Life for Busy People and Living the Dream, has days where all my thoughts seem negative. This time of year, when the ground is covered in gray snow and ice and the sun rarely shines, my spirit can seem just as gloomy.
How do you beat those blues? First, acknowledge them. If we try to ignore negative feelings, they only seem to grow. If we observe them with an almost detached sense of reality, they seem to lose their grip. Often, I’ll talk to myself and say, “I’m feeling really bummed today. I wonder why?”
After that, I begin to shift my focus. The easiest way to do this is with gratitude. Focusing on what is working changesour focus and life completely. Reflection on positive memories and things we are looking forward to gives us a great mental vacation as well.
We all will have negative thoughts and emotions. Acknowledge them, observe them if you must, but whatever you do, don’t feed them!
Doing our best to find the good in every moment radically transforms our lives for the better. I personally know this because I have been working at it for over 2 decades. Some days and times are easier than others. The more I have practiced this, the better my life has gotten.
Heading into the weekend, I challenge you to do the same. Find all the good you can, in as many situations as you can. Just try it throughout your day. Notice how your mood shifts. The more you practice this, the more you will have an elevated mood. Put simply, you will be happy.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 