Tag: inspiration

THE BATTLE OF A LIFETIME

With Monday fast approaching, everyone is thinking of the battles they have to face. Getting up and out of bed when we would rather not. Dealing with traffic and coworkers we would much rather do without. How many of us consider the greatest battle of all; the battle against ourself? Even the previously mentioned challenges are more a battle of our perception, than our actual reality. Changing our mindset and our heart is what will change our life. That is certainly easier said than done. Fighting that battle is what will give us that amazing life we have been seeking.

On the surface I realize that this may sound a little like self-improvement mumbo jumbo, but let us pause and take a look at it. Start with having to get up early and get out of bed when we do not want to. I start work at 4am, and have to leave the most beautiful woman behind, so trust me when I tell you that I know the struggle. Here is what else I know. Four years ago I died briefly. It is with great fortune and grace that I am still here. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think about that. Another aspect to consider is that I have a job. There are so many that are hurting and looking to make ends meet. Is it the perfect job for me? Absolutely not, but it is one that allows me to pay the bills and pursue my passions of writing as well. The lovely lady that I have to leave? Each morning that I feel sad to leave her, I also am grateful she is there. Having someone you love that much in your life is a blessing. Even if you do not have a job yet, or a wonderful relationship, you do have life. The potential to improve is there every day. It can be gone in an instant. Make the most of it while it is here.

Looking at the other two items we mentioned, commute and coworkers, they also can be viewed differently and therefore felt differently. My morning journey to work is about 35 minutes give or take. That all depends on traffic and the ever present construction. In addition to the fact that I am alive to experience the commute, I think about the world we live in. There are paved roads, we have climate controlled cars and public transportation. Yes, roads can be bumpy and filled with potholes, but it sure beats dirt or no road at all. Do we all have our dream vehicle? Maybe not, but it beats having to ride on horse through rain and snow.

You may be tempted to dismiss all of this as a mere change in state of mind. It is, but that is the point. Developing this change will transform how your life feels. Can you imagine how that change of focus could affect your life? Is it easy to do? Of course not. That is why it is a battle every day. Is it worth it? It is as valuable as digging in a mine of pure gold! What are some of the ways that you can improve your mindset?

A FRIEND YOU HAVEN’T MET YET

Here is a question to ask yourself, “What are you grateful for that a stranger did for you today?” It may seem like an odd question, but give it some thought. Strangers are out there working to pave the roads for us. Strangers help us by checking out our groceries at the store and stocking the shelves. On a more personal level, a stranger may have held the door for you. Someone you don’t know may have smiled and even said “Good morning.” There are a million different things that strangers do for us every day. I am grateful for the people who are all involved in bringing this post to you. When I stop and think about it, that is a lot of people. The people involved in making my laptop. The people involved in my car that allowed me to drive to the coffee shop. Everyone at WordPress who hosts this site. The people here at the coffee shop. The ones who made the furniture I am sitting on.

As you can see, once you start pondering this, the list could truly be endless. So many people help us daily, many of whom we do not know, that our life would be near impossible without them. It is easy to complain about strangers. Asking why that person ahead of you in the brand new car does not know how to use a turn signal. Why was that person so unfriendly to you at the store? This is easy and if we do that we can quickly develop an attitude that all of humanity is bad. How do we save ourselves from developing this attitude? By focusing on what we have to be grateful for. Even the person who does not know that they have a magical lever that lets other drivers know they will be making a sudden deviation in their journey is giving us something to be grateful for. They are reminding us to use our turn signal. They are helping us practice our emotional control. They are giving us an example as to why drivers education is such an important class.

  Finding what we can be grateful for in others, namely complete strangers does not only help them, but it helps us as well. How is that? It gives us a positive attitude towards those we share our planet with. What difference does that make? Ask yourself which life is better, one where you are constantly finding reasons to be unhappy with the people around you? Being angry is not only bad for you emotionally, it will also compromise your mental and physical health as well. Studies show that prolonged anger can impair your cognitive function as well as your mental well-being and social relationships. That means you will be stupid, sad and without very many friends. Throw in cardiovascular issues and you may not have to live that angry life for long.

What happens when you continue to have an attitude of gratitude? Prolonged gratitude has been shown to reduce stress hormones such as cortisol. This helps improve sleep, immune health and heart health. It also helps neuroplasticity in the brain. That is the brain’s ability to adapt and change or learn. What this means is you will be happier, smarter and healthier. You will probably stick around for a lot longer as well. Which of these sounds like a better life to you?

A better opinion on the people you share life with will help you in so many ways. Developing that attitude can start with the simple act of finding ways to be grateful for strangers. We have discovered whether your interaction with someone is positive or negative, they are still giving you something to be grateful for. So ask yourself now, “What did a stranger do for me that I can be grateful for today?” Start with something positive, but remember even the negative can give us something to be grateful for. Do this long enough and you will develop a grateful attitude and receive all of the benefits that come with it.

THE #1 REASON TO NOT MARRY SOMEONE

Today’s article was inspired by a server who shared a little bit more than expected with Margie and I at breakfast the other day. Let me tell you there are no shortage of red flags when it comes to relationships. Addiction, abuse and many other issues should tell you that this might not be the person you should pursue a long-term connection with. We are not talking about what should prevent you from getting into a relationship, or even what should tell you to leave a relationship. We are solely talking about what you should not do when deciding whether or not to pledge your life to someone. If you do this, it will be a guarantee for failure.

There are many reasons not to marry for. You should not marry for money. You should not marry for position. You should not marry someone just to make your parents happy, or anyone else for that matter. Those should be fairly obvious. The #1 reason you should not marry someone is for potential. Countless people get into relationships decidedly unhappy with a certain aspect of their partner. They either believe they will ‘grow out of it’ or worse that ‘they can change them’. If you base your connection on your ability to change anyone but yourself, you are doomed to failure. All meaningful and lasting change comes from within. If you are forced to change because of someone else, you are unhappy at best and resentful at worse. Yes, they could also grow, evolve and correct whatever it is that does not please you. Then again, they could not. Then what? Will you live your life fighting about this same issue?

This is not to say that people cannot change and grow. If you are reading a site like this, I would assume that is the path you are pursuing. Growth, is not only nonlinear, it is also not guaranteed. Even with the best of intentions, growth may not happen. Therefore, you should find someone you love for who they are at their core. If they grow, even better. If you grow together that is even better yet. What should not happen is to base your relationship on the expectation of growth.

THE SECRET TO A GREAT RELATIONSHIP? TACOS AND BEET ROOT POWDER OF COURSE!

These two may seem like an odd combination, and indeed they are. I do not know of anyone who put beet root powder on their taco. Here is another question. Which one is sweeter? If you know even a little bit about food your answer would be the beets. In fact, beets can even be used to make sugar. The most important question we can ask is “How are these two items the secret to a great relationship?

Before you go out and stock up on bottles of beet root powder (the one in the picture is my personal favorite) or get all your fixings for tacos, may I suggest you read a little further. Here is a confession. These two items by themselves are not the secret. It is what they represent. To better explain, let me share a personal story of the last few days. My lovely lady underwent a medical emergency last week. It was a good reminder that health is the ultimate treasure. It is with a great deal of gratitude I can tell you she is doing well. It did remind both of us to pay a little better attention to our health.

The following day, I was out running errands with my mother and my lady cooked the most delicious and rather healthy meal. She made us lettuce wrap tacos with ground turkey. They were beyond delicious. Not only is she beautiful, loving and a great cook, but she was kind enough to make us both a healthy dinner even after her health scare. I was so grateful and let her know how much I appreciated her efforts. More importantly, I sat with that feeling for a little bit. Just looking at the beautiful woman I share my life with and thinking how grateful I was for this loving and kind act of making this dinner.

This morning, she was making her return to the gym. I knew she would be a little nervous, maybe even scared, and wanted to do anything to help that I could. She drinks a combination of a pre-workout with beet root powder before every workout. If you haven’t tried beet root, it has been shown to increase your aerobic capacity. Do your own research and talk to your doctor, but it works for us. When she woke up to discover that she no longer had to put this concoction together, and there was a cold one waiting in the refrigerator for her, she was grateful and told me so. It made me happy to know she appreciated my efforts, but even more that it made her day a little better.

Here is the important thing to note about all of this. We have been together for many years and still enjoy doing things like this for each other. Not to ‘pay the person back’ or to ‘score some points’. No, we do it because we genuinely love and care about each other. Both the act and the appreciation are what keep our love going and growing. How about you? When was the last time you did an act just out of love? When was the last time you not only expressed your appreciation to your partner, but sat down and felt it?

NOT SO FAST SOCRATES!

I have always found this quote from Socrates rather humorous. I would have to respectfully disagree with the gentleman though. Yes, being in a toxic relationship would probably urge you to spend time alone pondering the meaning of life. Especially your own. In this way I believe he is giving us one of the keys to an amazing life. That is to turn whatever challenging situation you find yourself in, into a more fulfilling one. It could be taking that time alone you would want to spend into developing a philosophy of your own. Perhaps it would be taking the job you want to leave so bad and using it to motivate you to take a different course of action. That could be educating yourself or just looking for something that would satisfy your soul as well as your wallet.

As great as comfort is, it can also be a trap. Finding ourselves in a bad job, relationship or other challenging situation may not be desirable, but it just might push us to finally get off our butt and do something about it. If one part of your life isn’t working, pivot to excel at another while you work on correcting it. In my case, a great relationship has allowed me to change my philosophy on life. Having an excellent life partner can help you excel at being a philosopher as well!

WHAT MESSAGE ARE YOU SHARING?

It is no secret that I enjoy writing in coffee shops. One of the ones that I frequent is a Starbucks not far from my house. It is both convenient and friendly. Recently, they were told to start writing messages on cups to make it feel more like a ‘personal experience’. Probably a good idea. It is always good to make a customer feel more like a friend than a number. The message on the cup above confused me a little. Why did they feel compelled to tell me that “different is good”? Do I come across as a ‘different’ kind of individual? The conclusion I came to is that they were giving me inspiration on what to write for this post.

Different is good. Far too many of us are overly concerned with fitting in. We look online and to others to discover what is the latest trends. We spend a lot of money on items not for superior quality, but because the brand is what is hot currently. If you asked someone if they would like shoes that are comfortable and would last, or ones that have the ‘cool’ logo on the side, what would they answer? Logic would dictate the former, but most often people choose the latter. Same with character and behavior. We do and say what all of the ‘cool kids’ are doing and saying instead of what we believe to be the right thing to do. Being kind to and associating with those who may be struggling, is that the cool thing to do? It certainly is the right thing to do. If people look at you as different, that just means you are being true to your character. You are different. We all are. Being an original makes you far more valuable than just being another copy.

Same Starbucks when I went a few days later with my mother for an iced coffee. Completely different message, but one that was inspiring just the same. Both of these messages were very nice of the employees to write on our cups. Both very encouraging. It started me thinking on what messages are we putting out in the world? Is it one letting someone know that there difference is not only ok, but makes them special like in the first picture? Perhaps, much like the second picture, we are just letting someone know that we believe in them and they are loved? Both of those are powerful and beautiful messages.

How about you? What message are you putting out there? You might not be an employee in a coffee shop writing messages on customers cups but you do not have to be. Most of us deal with people in our profession in one way or another. What kind of message are we putting out to them? Even in our private life, what greetings do we give a stranger? Do we acknowledge them at all? There are so many opportunities to spread messages of hope, compassion and love. Are we taking advantage of them? Even wearing a shirt with a simple and inspiring message can go a long way. There are certainly no shortage of clothing with sarcastic, or uninspiring messages. Let us be the sunshine in someone’s day. What message are you spreading and how are you doing it?

IF YOU WANT TO BELIEVE THE WORLD IS BEAUTIFUL

What we surround ourselves with, both people and environment, go a long way in influencing what we think the reality of the world is. It can be hard not to consume all of the information that is being forced at us through a variety of different media. Especially when the world is as crazy as it is right now. I know this is something I have to do better with myself. This is not advocating ignorance. It is just a call to not inundate ourselves with it. A little goes a long way with the news. It is like listening to chicken little tell you that the sky is falling. Sooner or later you are bound to start thinking the clouds are getting a little lower.

There are so many beautiful spots in nature to enjoy. Being out in the natural world, especially if you disconnect from technology for a bit, helps you appreciate all of the beauty that surrounds us. It can be a great reminder that we need when life becomes too busy. When you are out exploring, take time to visit natural areas. Above is a photo I took when Margie and I had visited Negril Jamaica a few years back. It is in a region called Fern gully. All of the places we stay are gorgeous to be sure, but it sure was nice to get out to a peaceful natural area. Seeing different plants that are not native to the region we live in, as well as birds and animals, was so exciting while at the same time peaceful. Just as it is important to get to know local people, I think getting to know local nature is just as important.

You may not be in the financial state to be able to afford an exotic vacation. Not to mention that you should not wait to explore nature until then. Quite the contrary. You should surpass your consumption of news with how many trips into nature you take. Fortunately, for most of us there is nature not that far away. Neighborhood parks and trails provide an opportunity to get lost in nature without leaving your own neighborhood. Above is a picture of the path my mother and I were walking on last year in a local park. As you can see, there was plenty of nature to be observed that day.

Another great opportunity to view nature is to befriend someone who also enjoys exploring nature. This works great whether that person lives near you and can recommend great spots to explore, or if they live further away and share their pictures of places they explore. A great member of this community, Eduardo, lives in Italy and shares many great pictures of the places he explores. I feel like I share in his adventures when I look at them. It is also a great picture of the natural beauty that exists in his corner of the world.

How about you? Can you think of a place of natural beauty to explore and take a break from all of the crazy news out there? Even if exploring is not your thing, or if you are physically limited, you can sit on a park bench and watch the nature around you. Take in the sights, sounds and smells of the natural world. Your soul and spirit will leave refreshed and better able to take on the world. Not to mention your perception of the world will be much improved.

CATCHING UP TO MY ACCOMPLISHMENTS

The other day, our fine friends and WordPress, the platform on which this blog is hosted, sent me this little congratulations. It is nice to be sure, but the total is actually over 3000 posts between 5 and 8am. The funny thing is that it was still nice they noticed we are accomplishing something here. I hope it encourages them to have this site viewed in many more locations. This will help our community of driven and wonderful souls looking to better the world and become the best version of themselves to expand into new corners of the world. This brings us to the next couple of notifications I received.

These two notifications came the very next day. One right after another. In actuality, we are viewed in over 200 countries. Again, it was nice to see that they recognize this, but it did not change how I feel about doing these posts. As I mentioned above, the more places we reach, the more this community can help each other. When I write, I think more of just you. That is right. You, the person reading this post right now. We may not know each other personally, we may even be halfway around the world from each other. What I think about it talking to, and caring for, one person at a time. My writing is not to change the world, but to positively affect one soul at a time. In doing so, I believe that is my best shot at positively affecting the world.

Outside accolades are nice, but they should not be the driving point as to why you are pursuing your goal. If your goal is focused solely on you, outside accolades, or lack there of, will drive or curtail your performance. If your goal is for a purpose bigger than yourself, your motivation is in the goal itself. Find the goal and do not let whether the outside world pats you on the back decide if you want to keep going. Work for your purpose.

THE REAL LUXURY

We touched on this thinking a few posts back with the story of my untimely, and fortunately temporary, death. What is really important in life has very little, if anything, to do with material goods. Beyond the basics of food, clothing and shelter there can only be so much joy to be found in excess of material goods. The irony is that is what a lot of us spend our time and energy pursuing. We work overtime at work to buy a bigger car or a name-brand this or that. These luxuries cannot be taken with us. The ancient Egyptians tried and their stuff is still sitting in the desert. One of my favorite quotes is from Denzel Washington. He said, “You will never see a U-Haul behind a hearse.” That is uncomfortably true.

When we are facing our final days, never are we laying on our death bed wishing for a bigger house or car. No, we would wish for more time with friends and family. In fact, time is the most precious of all the commodities of life. It is with a great deal of irony that we spend little time or energy to make sure we are making the most of whatever time we have. The amount none of us can be sure of. Doing things like living a healthier lifestyle. Reducing stress, eating fairly healthy and making sure we move will not only add life to our years, but could quite possibly add years to our life.

We covered two of the luxuries listed above. What about good company? I love that one. In a world where we are the slave to distraction, why not spend some energy and effort on being more present? It will help us enjoy our good company better. If we are present, we will catch little things that our friends share with us we might otherwise miss. When people leave our lives, we always find ourselves wishing for more time with them. One of the worst emotions to have when we lose someone is regret. “I wish I would have enjoyed the time I spent with them more.” we catch ourselves saying. This only compounds our feeling of loss. How much better would it be to know that we made the most of our time that was given to us?

How about the luxury of a quiet mind? In a world that moves at a mile-a-minute, a quiet mind is priceless. As an author who is currently writing about four different books, some peace and quiet with the voices in my head would be wonderful. How much time to we spend on developing peace of mind? Things like daily meditation and other stress reduction methods are investments in the luxury of peace of mind. So is working on not holding grudges, forgiveness and developing an attitude of gratitude. These are luxuries that we can use every day of our life. These are worth spending our time and money on.

Recently, Margie and I went on a week vacation. It was a memory worth investing in. It captured time, good company and peace of mind. It did, however, require us to be present with each other and what was going on around us. If we would have busied ourselves with thoughts of the obligations we had to return to, complained about the rain or if our food was not done right, it would have been a wasted expense. It is skills Margie and I have worked to improve with every vacation we go on. Our next one should be our honeymoon. We better be present for that one. Invest in the true luxury of life. What other luxuries do you think should have made the list? Share them in the comments below.

A REFLECTION OF YOU

This is a good quote to keep in mind. Many people, when confronted with disrespectful people, want to ‘get back at them’. That is easy to understand. They hurt your feelings, so you want to hurt theirs. If you are a person who wants to live an amazing life that is not the way to go. When someone insults you, it is worth keeping in mind that it makes them look petty and rude. That is, unless we respond in kind. Then, we are the ones who look petty. In the moment it can be very unsatisfying to show respect to someone who does not deserve it. It would be so much more fulfilling to return with an insult of our own. Long-term, this would be a poor reflection of our character.

How can you remember or think of such things in the heat of the moment? That is why studying and memorizing quotes like this can be helpful. Putting them into our minds before we find ourselves in challenging situations can help us respond in a fashion that is a better reflection of our character. That is why it is a great idea to find quotes that help you develop your character and get them inside your head. What are some of your favorite quotes that can help improve your life and character? Please share them with all of us in the comments below.