Tag: Happiness

KEEP IT SIMPLE

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Often times I am asked for my opinion on a wide variety of religious and spiritual practices. My general reply is those matters tend to be a personal matter best left up to the discretion of the individual. I firmly believe we are a entitled to believe as we do as long as it does not harm others. Speaking of others, as long as they are not harming us, i believe they have a right to believe as they wish free from our judgement or the judgement of others.
I support everyone’s beliefs even if they are different than mine. Still i ask myself how much better the world would be if we all followed the simple religion spoke of by the 16th president of the United States of America? 

IT IS WORSE THAN WASTING TIME

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I am a firm believer in the terrible effects of worry. Many things have been said about the practice of worry and I would like to share some with you now. Early on one of my favorite things I heard about worry is that it is like riding an exercise bike, you get really tired but do not go anywhere. Think of the productive aspect of worry, is there any? Another thing I have heard that I thought powerful was worry not only disturbs our present, but steals our future. It is true. If you spend your time in worry, you are taking time away from productive things you could be doing. The final two things I would like to share with you are this. According to Bob Marley, Complaining and worry are prayers to the devil. Also, worry is mentally rehearsing what we don’t want to happen. If you know anything about the law of attraction it is that thoughts become things, and if your thoughts are focused on that which you do not wish to happen you are giving that all of your energy.

Studies have proved that a full 90% of what we worry about are things we should not be. Things in the past that cannot be changed, useless petty worries and things of the like. So do yourself a favor, use worry to take all the action you can to prepare or address a situation and then let it go. You will lose that knot in your stomach. That feeling of dread and weight you carry around on your shoulders. Try to eliminate worry as much as you can this coming week and see how you feel.

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH GOLD

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With all of the “cash for your gold” signs everywhere everyone is looking for ways to get more of it. Here is the secret to being surrounded with it on a daily basis. Mine the gold in your friends and anyone else you encounter. Perhaps it is human nature, but I have noticed people seem to look for and dwell on what is wrong with a person. Maybe we tend to find it more interesting, maybe it makes us feel better about ourselves? Whatever the reason, pay attention to conversations people have about others that are not present. What seems to be the focus? How do those conversations make you feel? Here is another question to ponder. How do you feel when you hear someone praising someone who is not there to hear it? What does that make you think of the person who is doing the talking?

Next time you find yourself in a discussion about someone who might not be physically present to here you try and say as many good things as you can come up with. See how the person you are speaking to reacts. See how it makes you feel. For a more immediate impact, when you are in a discussion with anyone, be it a friend, business associate or just the lady at the local coffee shop, try mentioning one good thing about them. Do so with sincerity and you will be amazed with what happens. Do this to as many people as you can as many times as you can. After a while you will notice people have an urge to be around you. They enjoy your company. They will smile and start sharing good things about you that they notice. Who would not want to be around someone who makes them feel good? Imagine how your day would go if everyone you shared a conversation with gave you one sincere compliment? How would you feel with say three compliments a day? How would you feel knowing that you did that for others?

Try this little experiment and you will find yourself surrounded by golden friendships

IT’S NOT A JOKE

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Normally my posts don’t contain such colorful language, but in this case it proves a point and hey it’s Monday so why not. I always wondered as a young child why people of different beliefs could not get along. When I asked what I considered a well-informed adult the answer was always the same, “Well they should be able to all get along” there was always that magical word should in there. Still I noticed they didn’t. I still wonder why more people cannot come together and respect each others differences while enjoying what we all have in common.

Despite knowing people all have some of the same desires such as to be loved, to be free from harm, for their voice to be heard, we often have a hard time helping others realize these desires. We also tend to share the same fears. Most of us fear looking foolish, be unloved, or being hurt. It doesn’t matter what religion you are, or what color you are. Inside we are more alike than we are different. Another reason racism of any kind confused me. When I encounter a person who is different than I am, my first thought is one of wonder. How is this person different? How can I learn from them? What do they do to be happy? What have they learned in their life?

So remember to respect our brothers and sisters that are different than us. We can all learn and benefit from each other. Also remember on the inside we are all alike.

HOW TO BE A SUCCESS EVERY DAY!

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I love this quote because it reminds me of something I often forget. A lot of us, myself included, are focused on becoming a success. Personally, I am always focused on reaching more people. This could be how can I have more people attend my seminars, how can I get my book in the hands of more people. Even while I am DJing or bartending I am focused on how to reach more people and inspire them and bring them joy.

This in itself is not a bad thing, but we must remember that true success, like abundance should be felt in every area of our lives. We need to pay as much attention to our personal goals as well as our professional goals. Are you wanting to be the best parent? The best spouse? Perhaps you are looking to become healthier? A better listener? A better communicator? Success takes work in a lot of areas in life.

This may seem like a lot to work on, but that is only half true. What do I mean by this? There are so many opportunities to achieve success. How does that translate to an effective life strategy? Simple, every day you have a chance to be a success. Maybe you were not number one on the bestseller list, but you really made your wife feel loved. You are a success. Maybe you ruined the diet you have been doing good on, but you taught your children a very important lesson.

What this all means is every day there are so many ways to succeed and so many things to feel grateful for. So let us all notice what we can improve on, but let us focus on what we succeed at. It will not only keep us wanting to do more of that, but also make us feel very good about ourselves and what we do for the world.

WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!

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Who the hell are you? Chances are you had to stop a second and think of the answer to that. What did you come up with? Was your identity attached to your occupation? Was it defined by your family life? Perhaps you chose your faith to define who you are. It is amazing how little focus we spend on who we are. Even less on who we desire to become. Here is a great secret, you have power over that. What do I mean by this? Let me share with you a simple exercise I learned that can help us become the type of person we desire to be. First ask yourself who you wish to be. Keep it simple. One word answers. Come up with three. Once you get started it can be easy to keep going, but pick the 3 most powerful ones for you. By most powerful I mean the ones you really wish to be defined by. Perhaps you wish to be a driven person, but all you seem to drive is other people crazy. write it down. Maybe you want to be energetic, but the only energy you use is the batteries in the remote? write it down. Maybe you would just like to be a happy joyous person, but life always seems to knock you down. write it down.

So now you have a list. In our example it would be driven, energetic and happy Here is all you do, much like the questions from yesterdays post, in fact you can have them on the same sheet of paper, read these three words three times a day. upon waking, before retiring and at least once a day. In addition, read them whenever you seem to be off track. Feeling to lazy to change a channel and find yourself feeling like spending the day on the sofa? Read your list. The boss have you so mad you are seeing red? read the list. It is like reminding yourself of who you are. Not who you want to be, but who you are. It may seem like you are lying to yourself, but deciding who you want to be is a new practice for most of us and our brain may need a gentle reminder.

Again I encourage you to try this for 30 days. If you pair it with the questions from yesterdays post your life is on the fast track to positive change. In a month you will not even recognize the person staring back at you in the mirror! Please stop back and share your results

THREE QUESTIONS THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE!

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I have three magic questions that will change your life in one month! That is a pretty bold claim I know. Here is how this works, if you answer these three questions three times a day your life will not be the same. Try it once when you wake up, once before you fall asleep and once…well whenever you want. answer three questions three times a day. How long will that take you? Five minutes? Maybe even less? What do you get by dedicating this little time? You will wake up more positive. You will be more focused during the day. Challenges will be easier to overcome. You won’t lose sight of what is really important.

Ok, so you are probably screaming at your computer or cell phone, wherever you read this fabulous blog. I would guess you are screaming “Neil, I want to change my life in the ways you describe. Tell me the damn questions already!” Fair enough. what are these magical questions? In short, I don’t know. Now, before you hit the delete button or become dismayed let me tell you who does know these questions…you. What craziness am I talking? Here is the simple plan. Pick 3 positive questions. Something like “How can I feel grateful in my life today?” “What can I be excited about today?” “What can I do to improve my future today?” You pick, whatever speaks to you. just make sure they are worded in the positive. Now ask yourself these questions in the method we described above, and do your best to come up with an answer or at the very least be on the lookout for one. Do this first thing in the morning and last thing at night plus one other time in between. Do this for 30 days and I promise you that your life will be dramatically different. Again, I challenge you to prove me wrong. Follow these directions to the letter and feel free to stop back here and share how it affected you.

IN OUR DARKEST DAYS

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Quite often we find ourselves in a situation we cannot see the good in. Why did this happen? Try as we might we are unable to see the light in the darkness. What to do then? Just accept the fact that life sucks at the moment? If you know anything about me personally I believe feeling what we perceive as negative emotions can be a great learning experience as long as we choose not to live there. So after some head scratching and maybe even a few colorful words what should we do? Take a look around. See what we still have in our lives that haven’t left us. Maybe it is our faith? Maybe it is even our job obligations? Sounds weird, but when we feel on the outside of life looking in, knowing that our job needs and expects us to be there can go from a burden to a blessing.

Here is another great thing to look at. Who is still there. We have all had moments in our lives when things are not going our way. The worst times I can think of is when we don’t live up to our own standard and let those we care about down. Take a look around and see who is still there. They always say you can only see the stars when it is the darkest. Ask yourself, who are the stars in my life? Who shines the brightest when I am at my darkest. be thankful for them. Use the down periods to be grateful for what is left, then focus on reclaiming what you want to be.

THE MAN IN THE MIRROR

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Here is a picture of me from my latest seminar. Why am I holding a mirror? I am discussing the most important person in your quest to reduce stress and increase joy in your life. Yes, it is the person in the mirror. The one your greet every morning. Some of you may think this sounds selfish, or even wrong. I have heard statements like “but Neil, I have children at home who need me, I can’t think of myself” or “I have to make sure my spouse is happy” I have even heard “I have to think of paying my bills before I can focus on making myself happy”

Really? Here is a secret, bills will always be there. Here is another thing to ponder, how can you fill a cup from an empty pitcher? Increasing your joy and reducing your stress will not only able you to increase the Quantity, but the quality of joy you give to others as well. It is very hard to lend a shoulder to a friend to cry on when yours are weighted down with the burdens of a stress filled life. In fact, taking care of number one, can quite often be the best way to take care of number two. When you invest in yourself and learn how to improve your own life you can pass that information on to others. So today let us spend sometime thinking about the person in the mirror and how we can improve their life.

WHY FIT IN WHEN YOU WERE BORN TO STAND OUT

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This picture stood out to me for several reasons. Notice the guy in the middle, he is yellow, he is smiling, he has a sign that says “Thank you” he stands out. This picture is true of how it works in the world. When we are grateful we stand out and separate ourselves from the crowd. Think of how that person that always smiles makes you feel. We all know one. If you wish to stand out from the crowd do something different, be happy, be grateful. Then you will be like our friend in the picture here.

I must confess when I first saw this picture and thought of using it as a blog post this is where the idea sat, to stand out from the crowd all we need to do is be happy and be thankful. I even printed out the picture to help remind me of that. I welcome you to print out this blog post and share it with everyone you know. Let us fill the next picture with smiling happy guys saying thank you.

Would you like to know a secret? An additional thought came to me while I was pondering how to word this post. How to put this into an application that can be a win/win for yourself and those around you. Take this to a personal level. If you are a parent, try finding one thing a day to thank your children for, even if they happen to be driving you nuts. Try finding one thing a day to thank your coworkers for, even the one that you would rather be without. every time you speak with a friend, try beginning the conversation with something you are grateful for about them. Most powerfully, try this with your spouse. When, at the end of the day when you are laying down to retire try genuinely thanking them for something they did today. Especially if it has been a trying day. Do this for a few weeks and see how things in your life change. How your relationships deepen. I am just starting it myself and will let you know how it works.