Tag: Happiness

MY LEAST FAVORITE WORD

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Anyone who has spent a good deal of time with me, especially my lovely and patient lady, knows there is one word I despise. That word, as you may have guessed from the picture above is ‘try’. Why do I dislike the word ‘try’ so much? Because it weakens us. What do I mean by this? Often people discount the power of the words they use. I have seen this in many situations. Say these two statements out loud. Don’t worry if you are in public, let people wonder. OK, if you are to uncomfortable you can even say them to yourself, but it does drive the point home better out loud. First say “I will try to be healthier in the coming year”. How does that feel? Now, say “I am determined to be healthy this year no matter what it takes”. Feel different? The first one seems to offer a one time shot at something. You will “try” it. If it doesn’t work, well you gave it a shot. The second focuses more on the goal than on the actual act of accomplishing it. If I were to try and become a successful author I may do one or two things and then give up and resign my life to working at the Postal Service. If I am determined to become a best selling author no matter what, than I will keep doing things until I find one that works and reach my goal.

So this coming weekend look for ‘weak’ words in your vocabulary. Limit your use of words such as try, wish, want, and hope. Become determined. Do not give yourself a way out. Remember the sage advice of the Jedi master in the picture above “Do, or do not. There is no try”

Oh, and on a side note. If you would like to assist me in my quest to become a bestselling author and wish to give yourself a great gift, feel free to check out my book A Happy Life for Busy People Aslo feel free to share this post with all of your friends and Facebook followers. Empower them as well.

TRUE GREATNESS

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Let me ask you a question, who do you like to be around? More to the point, what qualities do the people you like to be around the most have? I can tell you what people seem to be a challenge for me. See if you share the same opinions. Being in the customer service industry I have seen my fair share of different people. We all have certain things that tend to bother us more than others. Personally, I am not a fan of negative people. This can fit a few different people. I do not like people I say suffer from the “eyeore syndrome” So named after the loveable character in Winnie the Pooh. (Of which it may be noted I am a big fan) You know the souls who can always see the thunderstorm in any rainbow. It seems if you are full of joy they can find a way to damper it. If you are having a bad day they can bring you down even farther. Funny thing is a lot of these people have no desire to change. Some even wear their depression as a badge of honor. Also are judgmental people. Always finding something negative to say about everyone around them. I look at these people as adult bullies. Most of them are usually making up for a lack of confidence in themselves.

Enough about the people we would like to avoid. How about the people we love to hang around with? I have a friend who is rather financially well off. When we go out he insists on paying for everything. Seems like a sweet deal right? Seldom do I take him up on his offer. Why? You might ask. This is why. He makes a point to let me know how well off he is and when I offer to pay makes sure to remind me that I am not as well off. I have another friend who is not as well off. She always has a joke, loves to take silly pictures and tells me how amazing the people she knows are. When I leave the first person I don’t feel very good about myself even though they have treated me to a night out. Leaving the second person I feel not only good about myself, but about life in general.

What this has taught me is one of the most attractive qualities is helping people see the beauty in themselves and the world around them. It has since become my mission statement. I encourage all of you to be the kind of person who makes others feel positive about the world we all share.

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LIKE NIKE, JUST DO IT!

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We are all guilty of this. We have a great idea of something we can do or say that would make someone’s day. Perhaps sending them a check,  or a gift. Then,  life happens.  We get caught up in the daily grind and by the time we remember it the moment has passed.  Sometimes we haven’t forgotten at all. Sometimes we are waiting for the right resources to be able to give the ‘perfect gift of kindness’. Then the opportunity or sometimes even the person passes away. What I encourage everyone to do is pick 5 people. Just 5 random people in your life. Think of one small random act of kindness you can do for them RIGHT NOW. Can you send a card thanking them for being in your life? Maybe write them a short letter, or even an email if you don’t want to take the time. Just something to inspire a smile. Maybe you can post a little something to their social media page? Bring them a coffee at work? Invite them out for coffee? There are a million possibilities. All I ask is you put something into action. Feel free to leave your ideas, and even how it turned out in the comments below.

If this inspired you or you would like to see the ideas spread, feel free to share this with your friends, relatives and anyone who follows your social media. Working together we can make the world a more positive place!

WHAT DID YOU PLANT TODAY?

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Last post we talked about planting seeds and how long they may take to sprout. What is a good question to begin asking yourself is “What am I planting?”. Quite often our focus depends on what is occurring in our life at the moment. If our life is going well we preoccupy ourselves with thoughts of all the good we have in our life and the good that is coming. We look forward to tomorrow and what is next. Then we hit a bump in the road. Something happens in our life to throw us off center. We then begin to focus our attention on that. We begin to see what it could all effect and how things might get even worse. One of the most difficult things to do, but one of the greatest powers I am learning to harness is living in action instead of reaction.

What do I mean by living in action instead of reaction? It is east to know and to practice things that will make our life successful when things are going well. It is easy to be happy when life is happy. You are simply reflecting your surroundings. You, in essence, are being a mirror. So what happens when life goes south? When a ‘bad’ thing happens? Often it is hard to focus, things seem upside down.

So what should we do? Begin by writing down a vision of what you want your future to look like. Write down the good you are looking forward to coming in the next year. Then daily begin to spend about 2 to 5 minutes a day just imagining what it will be like. Don’t just picture it, but feel it. Keep this and a list of things you are grateful for handy. Each and every day make a habit to look at them ideally twice a day, once when you first get up, and again right before sleep that is when the brain is most suggestive. Then, when hard times hit and you are having a hard time picturing the good in life you will not only be in practice you will have a written script to help you as well.

As always if you enjoyed this post please feel free to share this on social media as well as tell your friends about secret2anamazinglife.com. Together we can make the world a better place for all of us.

WHY AM I NOT SEEING RESULTS?

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This is a very interesting story and did a lot to keep me going. Have you ever been working at a goal, giving it your best effort day after day and feel like you’re not getting anywhere? If you have tried to achieve anything I am sure we have all had a point like this. So what can you do when this happens? How do you stay motivated? How do you keep pushing forward when all your efforts seem in vain? It is a question that haunts all of us. I have a little story that may put things into perspective. Something that will allow you to keep pushing forward, and something I have seen in my life recently.

What is this story? It is the story of a Chinese bamboo tree. What does this tree have to do with our life and achieving our goals? A good deal. Let me explain the life cycle of the Chinese bamboo tree. You take a seed and plant it in the ground. You water and fertilize it for a whole year. If you forget the seed will die and you will have to start over. If you are faithful and do so for a whole year, guess what happens? Nothing. Ok, so you stick with it. Fertilize and water it for another 52 weeks. If you stop you know the seed will die. So at the end of the second year you have…nothing. You’ve gone this far so what is another 365 days right? At the end of the third year? Not even a sprout. The fourth year is more of the same. Let’s recap, for four long years you have fertilized and watered and took care of this seed that you are starting to even doubt is still under the ground. So year 5, losing hope you continue your efforts knowing if you stop the seed will die and it will all be for nothing. Something happens in year 5, the tree not only sprouts, it grows 90 FEET IN SIX WEEKS!!

Again, that is a great story about a tree but how does it relate to our life? Everything! Our goals are much like that seed. We plant them and work on them for one year, two years maybe more. We know if we stop and give up on our goals and dreams they will die and not come true. Quite often all of our efforts may be lost and we may have to begin again. Yet, if we stick with it, if we keep working one day we will experience something like the bamboo tree and our goals will explode. We may not see everything that is happening with our efforts. They may seem like that seed deep in the earth, growth is happening but not visible to the eye.

On a personal note I can see this beginning to happen in my own life. I wrote my book. I faithfully create these blog posts daily. Nothing seemed to be happening for years. Now I was featured on a podcast due out soon, I will be appearing at and speaking at the Wisconsin author festival, a book promotion due out in about a week and meetings lined up with several people I could possibly work with to take things to the next level. I even spoke at a wedding recently! All this good fortune could not have happened without the work I had done in the years leading up to that. So if you are not seeing results and you are honestly doing the best you can, giving 120% just remember the story of the mighty bamboo tree.

If you enjoyed this post, or think it may help someone you know feel free to share it on social media, tell your friends and check out and subscribe to my YouTube channel under ‘Neil Panosian’. Also feel free to leave any comments you may have below.

THE WORD OF THE DAY IS

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Here is a word I have been accused of using way to often. In reflection there is a lot of truth to that. Even this site is called secret2anamazinglife For a while I began trying to use different words. ‘wonderful’ ‘great’ were some I chose. None really fit the bill, and before long the word ‘amazing’ was coming out of my mouth quite often.

I began to think about why this is. I know it began when trying to think of a name for this site. Amazing seemed to have the power I was looking for. So why do I use it so much? that is a good question. I realized that I view a good amount of things in my life as amazing. I also know that the words you use most often can have a great impact on your life. This is more true than many people believe. Here is a quick test. think of these 3 phrases, perhaps even say them out loud if you happen to be alone or don’t care if people think you are sane or not. First, say “I did something stupid” We have all done something stupid. Said something without thinking. Put our sweater on backwards(I did this just the other day). Ok, now the second one. Say to yourself, or out loud “I am being stupid” There have all been moments I’m sure we felt like this. You are in a bad mood and just acting difficult. Perhaps you have had too much rum and are doing several things you may regret in the morning? Doesn’t it feel different than doing something stupid? A little more intense? Ok, now the last one. Say to yourself or out loud “I am stupid”. How do you feel? hurt? sad? See there is a difference between “Doing something stupid” “feeling stupid” and “Being stupid”.

So how can we use this to improve our lives? Think of times you use the same word. A greeting perhaps? Then think of how you want your life to be. When people ask how I am doing, my answer is almost never ‘fine’ or ‘good’ it is usually ‘living the dream’ ‘legendary’ or yes, ‘amazing’. Words have emotional power. Find some you would like to include in your life and try using them.

If you enjoyed what you read here or find it to be amazing, please share and tell your friends about http://www.secret2anamazinglife.com

THE RICH GET RICHER . ..

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We have all heard this expression, “the rich get richer while the poor get poorer”. This works for a lot of different situations other than money. At first glance this may seem and sound unfair, but upon closer examination it is actually very helpful.

This was brought home by a conversation I had with a new coworker of mine. We were discussing his online classes and he mentioned how one teacher only dictated and there was no interaction. I asked him what he liked least about that. What he told me really got me thinking. He said the part he liked least was the inability to perceive emotion. He said the lesson could really be interpreted differently depending on what mood he was in. He then gave me the example of how if someone sends you and email and you open it in an anger mood some of what they say could seem confrontational where the same email opened in a pleasant mood would not draw those same conclusions.

Here is the interesting part of all this. The same is true on the opposite side. What really is powerful is the fact that this is a self-fulfilling lifestyle. What do I mean about this? Let us play this situation out. You wake up in a bad mood. You start the day by checking your emails. A friend sent you an email letting you know they can’t make the dinner you had planned later in the week. Great you think, he can’t even call me? You feel a little rejected. You grab your coffee and go off to work. “Damn why can’t the car be warm already?” you find yourself thinking. My coffee won’t stay warm for long you think. You begin to think about everything you dislike your job. Suddenly you just want to turn around and go back home to bed. By the time you reach work you are in a less than pleasant state. As you walk in a coworker greets you with a nod. “can’t even say good morning?” Nobody has time for being pleasant you say. This is just the beginning of your day.

Now let’s look at the opposite. You wake up after a good nights sleep in a pleasant mood. You start your day by checking your emails. A friend sent you an email to let you know they can’t make it to the dinner you planned next week. Nice of them to let me know and not just show up, you think. I really must plan something with Joe you say. Feeling grateful your friend let you know ahead of time. You leave feeling thankful for having such considerate friends. You grab your coffee and head off to work. “Damn it’s cold out here, glad I have a car to drive to work” As your driving you are thankful for your hot coffee until the car warms up. By the time you reach work you are feeling pretty good about how many amazing things you have in your life. A coworker greets you with a nod. “Nice he noticed me” you think. feeling you have friendly coworkers. This is just the beginning of your day.

Notice, none of the situations on the outside changed. Just your perception of them and how they made you feel. This may seem extreme to you but it really is not. Being in a bad mood does more than just color your view of the world, it also may cause you to miss out on certain opportunities that may present themselves or friendships that may be available. This is why some of the most successful people tend to be the happiest. It is not because they are grateful they have everything it is because they are grateful for everything they have! This is why it is important to foster an attitude of gratitude and happiness as soon as we are able. Feel free to use the tools presented in this blog as well as discover your own. Also feel free to share any you have in comments below for other readers.

This is why the happy tend to get happier. If you enjoy what you read here please feel free to let us know and to share this with all of your friends.

WHY YOU NEED HAPPINESS NOW

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Yesterday we talked about fighting the battle within. This is why the time to do so is now. Why happiness is not a decision to be made later or thought of only when we lose it.

Why is happiness so important and what is the hurry in putting it into practice? Simply put, life challenges do not call ahead. How often has your phone rang and a voice on the other end tell you “please enjoy this week because next week you will get a flat tire, oh and in the near future your job may be downsizing so you might want to stay looking. Thank you”. Doesn’t happen. Quite often life and it’s peaks and valleys catch us off guard. That is why it is so important to work on increasing the joy in your life right now!

So what can we do? Start putting to together some lists. Movies that make you happy when you watch them. At my seminars I recommend everyone create a “happy cd” or “happy playlist” they can listen to when life gets them down. Think of places you enjoy going, people you enjoy talking to,great blogs by bartender/postal workers you like reading. Seriously, know what makes you happy so when life gets you down you have something that turns it around.

These things may not fix your problems but they will help put them in perspective. If challenges takes you down a few rungs on the ladder of life, at least let them find you standing on the top.

As always please feel free to share this post and tell your friends about it.

THE POWER IS IN YOU

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Last post we discussed focusing on the positive possibilities and how that can transform your life for the better. We also touched briefly on something we could do to start that process. I highly recommend you go back and read that post. Ok, we discussed starting a gratitude journal, writing five things a day that you are grateful for and why then reading them as a bedtime story. Here is what that does, it begins to have you focused on the good things that are happening in life. Another fun exercise I have seen online lately is a happiness jar. Where once a day for an entire year you put inside the jar one good thing that happened to you. Then at the end of a year you have 365 good memories. When you consider that means 365 good things happened in  your life you may begin to shift your thinking. try it for a month and review it. I am going to begin doing this myself and I am sure it will add a sense of joy and gratitude to my life. It adds something else as well. I force that will aid you in accomplishing your goals, that will render obstacles powerless.

What is this power? Faith! Every religion on earth will tell you about the power of faith. They may kill each other over their differences, but they all agree on the power of faith. Now I am not here to tell you what to believe. There are other blogs for that. So whatever your faith is in, be it a higher power, the universe or even yourself, faith is worth it’s weight in gold. What is faith? Faith is a sense of certainty. When you are certain things will work out you do not fret that there seems to be a delay or obstacle. You see them as the temporary things they are. It provides you the reason to keep going. It provides comfort when things seem upside down.

So how does one develop faith? This is a personal issue and one I work on daily. I suggest focusing on things you have already overcome. Also recall situations when a solution showed up where none seemed possible. Once again I refer to a tool mentioned in my book A Happy Life for Busy People that is a  journal. If we do not record these memories they may  be lost to time and not able to recall.

I invite you to do your own research on developing faith. Also if you have practices you are currently using or are going to try, feel free to share them here for the benefit of our other readers.

THE BIG DIFFERENCE

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Several people I know live life with a certain sense of  foreboding. I have even heard them say “I’m just waiting to see what goes wrong next”. My thought is always why?  When I tell them why not look for what is going to go right next,  they mumble something about living in a fantasy world,  or how things always go wrong for them. When I mention it could possibly be because they are looking for them to go wrong I am faced with often disbelief and sometimes anger and indignation.
Truth is whatever we focus on we create.  Now I am not going to go into the science behind the law of attraction,  as there are sites dedicated to just that.  Here is the truth  – in life there will always be ups and downs, positive and negatives – when we are looking to notice what is going wrong that will be highlighted and seem more prevalent.
So what happens,  what changes when we look for, and believe in the good that is going to come?

Two major things happen when you begin to expect and look for good things to happen. First, you start to feel better. You are filled with excitement and joy. People may even begin to comment on how you have changed, or what is different about you. Second, you start to notice the good things. Not only things that are happening, or did happen, but things that may happen, or will happen! You start to notice opportunities that may have slipped passed you before. As an added bonus, the bad things may fade from view. They will still be there because any life has it’s challenges, but they will seem less intimidating and overwhelming.

So there are plenty of reasons to switch to focusing on the good. How does one do this? We will focus on that in depth in future blogs, but for right now begin to write down and note when good things happen in your life. One fun project you can do is start a gratitude journal. write down every day at least 5 things you are grateful for and why a day. Review your list right before you sleep. It will change your life. Feel free to share any ideas you may have for staying on the ‘sunny side of the street’