Tag: Happiness

THANKS TO JEFF!

Yesterday morning I stopped at a local Starbucks for a cup of coffee. The gent ahead of me, a middle-aged man, spun at looked at me and yelled, “I thought you were buying coffee!” Never met the man before, but I did admire his pluck. He seemed like a rather jovial gent and I had a few extra bucks, so I bought the man’s coffee.

He went on to introduce himself as “Jeff from Saint Louis”. Informed me his construction company was building a bank across the street. He told me when he travels he likes to get gift cards for random people such as servers and flight attendants. We both mused how good it feels to treat a stranger to a little hospitality. He shook my hand and excused himself back to his construction site.

I approached the counter and after a few minutes of banter with the manager, placed my order. As I presented my app for payment she grinned. “Jeff paid for your coffee.” She said. What do you know? That sneaky Jeff. Ran off before I was able to thank him.

Here is the fun behind this story. Jeff and I will probably never meet again in life. In a matter of a few weeks we might not even remember we met. However, both of us gave each other an unexpected smile. A simple act of reciprocal kindness that made each other’s day. It is how the world, and the people in it, should operate 

Next time you have the chance, pay for someone’s coffee, or muffin or whatever. It might cost you a few bucks, but the unexpected look of joy on a stranger’s face will bring joy to both of your hearts!

TRY THIS IN THE MORNING

This seems like a pretty obvious thing to do. Who would not want to start their day with some positive thoughts? We can all agree that thinking of healing, big dreams, thinking of things that make us happy and picturing our own success would start our day in a good fashion. How come more of us do not do that? Did you do it this morning? I woke up at 4am for work and I can tell you that I made coffee, brushed my teeth, got dressed and got out the door with just enough time to make it to work on time. Why did I not spend at least a few minutes thinking these thoughts?

The reason more of us do not begin our days in a deliberate way is twofold. First, in today’s world most people tend to be reactionary. We wake up and look at our phones. We wake up and listen to the news. We let outside circumstances determine the trajectory of our day. Many of us do not realize there is any other way to live. This is how our parents lived and more than likely their parents too. Is there anything stopping from taking time to decide how to live our life? The answer to that question brings us to the second reason that most of us do not begin our lives in the way the photo above would advocate.

The second reason is the same reason that I did not begin my day with thoughts that would set me up for a happier and more successful day. Looking at the fact that I get up at 4am, have a 35 minute commute and have to be at work at 5am, you may think the reason is time. No, that is the excuse. Yes, I do have to hurry to make sure I get everything done and out the door in time. What is preventing me from spending 5 minutes thinking some positive and productive thoughts? A lack of self-discipline. Could I wake up at 3:55 instead of 4? Sure. Would 5 minutes less of sleep make that great of a difference? Could I have some mantras written out so I could read them to get my mind right? How about a vision board with pictures of my goals or things that I am grateful for? Could I put all of these things in a little binder and have it sitting by the coffee maker to grab and spend a few minutes looking at?

The answer to all of these questions would be ‘yes’. It would not take much to make such a binder. Even to put a few inspiring affirmations on some sticky notes on the bathroom mirror. All it takes is a little self-discipline. Once these items are done, having a morning that begins with empowering thoughts is almost on autopilot. The notes, binder or whatever method you choose to use are right there for you to look at. It becomes part of your morning. Just like making a cup of coffee or brushing your teeth.

It is time for us to stop waking up in neutral and letting the world determine what kind of day we are going to have. It is time to take control of our own destiny and determine our own level of happiness. No phone, no news until we take time for ourselves and our emotional well-being. Are you with me?

WANT AN AMAZING LIFE? REMEMBER THESE 2 THINGS.

On the journey to become the best version of ourself and live an amazing life, we have a tendency to overcomplicate things. If you want to discover the secrets to an amazing life and remain motivated to become the best version of yourself, it boils down to remembering two simple things. I even carry a coin that has both of them printed on it. The first can be seen in the photo above. Momento Mori. This is Latin for “Remember you must die.” It is a reminder that our time on earth is a finite and depreciating asset. Just the other night I was listening to a stand up comedian who mentioned someone said to him, “Look at this picture of me when I was younger.” He replied, “Every picture of you is when you were younger.” That is both funny and profound. Even in the digital era were pictures are captured and can be viewed in seconds, we are still that much older. Another way to look at it is that much of our life has already slipped away.

Time passes by in the blink of an eye. Above is a young me and the current me. Shocked and blessed I made it this far, a brief flirtation with death not withstanding. Chances are that over 50% of my life is already gone. Even the time exchanged for typing these words are minutes I will never get back. That is why it is so important to consider what we exchange the time for in our life. It is a our most valuable commodity and one that is constantly depreciating. Knowing that will hopefully spur us to use it wisely. Does that mean we should lock ourselves in our house and try to live the safest life we can? That brings us to the second thing we should remember. The one that is printed on the opposite side of my coin.

How do we make the most of our life as it continues to slip away? That brings us to the second thing we should remember if we want to live an amazing life. Memento Vivere. Latin for “Remember to live.” Do the things that feed your soul and not just your wallet. Worry more about the smiles on the faces of those you love than the bottom line on your bank balance. Spend time noticing the flowers and not just driving to work. This may all sound a little like ‘living with rose-colored glasses’. That is just a term the unenlightened use to describe those who have found the secret to falling in love with their life. It is often said with jealousy and envy. They are unable to get past the outside circumstances that challenge our emotional well-being.

Remembering to live is more than changing our actions. It is a change of mindset. It is seeing everything as the miracle it is. Helen Keller once famously said, “Life is a daring adventure or nothing at all.” Think of when you were a young child. Your life was one big adventure. Adventures contain ups and downs. If we are sheltering ourselves from living life to the fullest either out of fear or in an attempt to cling to the fictious feelings of comfort and security, we must know we are leaving a lot on the table. We are either enjoying life or we are wasting it. Even the struggles of life come to bring us lessons and experiences we could experience no other way. Be grateful for them as well. Develop an attitude of gratitude. Realize that life happens for you and not to you. If these concepts sound like positive thinking hype to you, realize that your cynical thinking may be preventing you from living life to the fullest.

When it comes to living an amazing life, keep it simple. Remember these two things and use them to propel your life to the successful level you deserve.

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE DAY 30 – SKILLS AND TALENTS

What talent or skill do you have that you are grateful for? What a great question. We do not stop and think of all the things that we are amazing at enough. The world teaches us to be self-critical. It is important to, at the very least, balance that out with complimenting ourselves on what we do well. This would be a practice to keep doing regularly. Keeping a reserve of positive self-image will help us succeed and go farther in life that being overly critical of ourselves.

Talents and skills are often used interchangeably, but I feel there is a big difference. To me, talent is something you are born with or naturally good at. Skill, on the other hand, is something that takes hard work and practice to excel at. Can you think of examples of both in your own life? Are there things you are just naturally good at? What skill that you have worked hard to be good at can you be both proud and grateful for?

My own personal examples are a little fuzzy. There are talents I believe that I am naturally good at, yet I still have put in much effort to make the most of them. Take speaking to people. For whatever reason, the fear of speaking is something that I do not have. Using this gift, I have worked hard to become a better speaker with each opportunity. I have always been a inquisitive person, but have used that to learn as much as my brain will hold. One of my favorite skills I have developed is to see the good in as many people as I can. Gleefully, many people in my life are pretty easy to see the good in. It is more reminding them why they are so awesome. Some forget or may have never been told. Some people are more of a challenge to see the good in, but it is those folks who help you strengthen this skill the most.

How about you? Have you thought of what talents and skills you are good at? Everyone has some. What are yours? Have you reminded yourself how amazing you are and felt grateful for the talents and skills you have? If not, today would be a good time to start.

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE DAY 29 – FRIENDS AND FAMILY

How can you pick just one friend or family member to be grateful for? It doesn’t say just one, so we will pick a few. Friends and family members add the color to our lives. Some friends become just like family. There are so many amazing people in my life. I am grateful for all of them and are going to work on expressing that better as the year goes on.

For the purpose of this blog, I am going to name a few. It is not a complete list by any stretch of the imagination. As we mentioned last post, I am grateful for my mother. We always have such fun times together. Whether we are going for a hike, working out at the gym or just going for coffee. It is always great conversation. I am grateful for my friends Dan, Jonathan and Nick. Speaking of great conversations, those gentleman always have great things to say. We solve the worlds problems over a cup of coffee! I am grateful for my soul friend Shannon. She not only imparts much amazing knowledge of the natural world, but is kind enough to even let me know when my favorite burger stand opens up! Grateful for all the friends of Margie and I who come to see us at our shows on Sunday. It creates such a warm and friendly atmosphere.

Lastly, I am grateful for Margie. She is not only my best friend, but after next October she will be family as well. She adds so much joy to my life it would take an entire post just to explain it all! How about you? What friend or family member are you grateful for? Once you start thinking about it, I am sure you will feel very grateful and lucky just like I do!

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE DAY 20 – WHO IS IT?

This is one of the big ones. Who are you grateful for in your life? In any gratitude practice I think this one is included. I am sure at some point in time we have thought about how grateful we are for certain people in our life. Here are two challenging ideas I hope you take action on. First, spend a focused few minutes and think of who you are grateful for. Write their names down. Next, ask yourself how you could express this feeling of gratitude? You could tell them in person, a phone call, an email or the good old greeting card. You could even post on their social media.

Great friends are certainly people to be grateful for. Above is a picture of people who used to come to a bar I worked at. Many are still good friends. I am grateful to have met them all. That is the fun thing about meeting people. Each person, in some way or another, brings something to your life to be grateful for. Even some of the worst people can leave you grateful for the example of what you do not want in your life and grateful for all of those who are not like them. Most people, however, give you something positive to be grateful for. It could be humor, being a great listener or a million other traits.

Family is another group of people to be grateful for. Above is a picture of my mother and I braving what turned out to be a terrible flood. We also had been enjoying the Wisconsin State Fair. Walking through the fair with my mother is one of my favorite things that I look forward to all year. We go on discovery walks and try many new foods and just have a lot of fun. Could not be more grateful for that if I tried.

To of course having someone that loves you even on your bad days. This woman has changed my life more than any other person I know. A year and a half from now I guess she will also be family! Having that rock of love is one of the most powerful things that you can have in your life. Sharing adventures as well as the daily grind together. It makes the sorrows less and multiplies the joy.

As you can see, there are so many people to be grateful for in your life. Really, each person offers you that little bit to be grateful for. We touched on it in the friendship paragraph, but you can think of anyone and everyone and gratitude could be given. The great employee who served you an iced coffee so you would have energy to write. (Thank you Anthony) The lady who checked you out at the market. The employee at the power company you may never meet, but who worked in dangerous conditions to keep your power on and the milk from spoiling. Speaking of milk, how about being grateful for the dairy farmer? How about being grateful for the cow?

There are an endless list of people you can be grateful for. I have shared just a few of mine and gave you some thoughts on more. How about you? Who are you grateful for in your life?

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE DAY 14 – SIGHT

Today’s gratitude post was one that made me stop and think. It is a powerful one at that. We have many sights that we view daily. How often do we stop and appreciate them? There are certainly ones that we lament about. Take my current example. I am sitting in a Starbucks right next to my day job writing this blog. Outside it is snowing like crazy. It is  a little more than a week away from the first day of spring and we should be having temperatures more closer to that season. The trees still look dead and it is rather gloomy. Those things stand out to me. Can you guess how focusing on them has me feeling? I can tell you that it is less than inspiring.

When I first read that today we would be talking about what sights we were grateful for, I must confess to having a hard time with this. That will tell you what a great opportunity this is. Apparently, I do not spend enough time focusing on all of the good things that I lay my eyes on in a day. Take the picture above. It is my current situation. I have a laptop to write on, access to the internet to publish it so I can chat with all of the wonderful members of this community around the globe. Not to mention the delicious hot cup of coffee just waiting for me to take a sip! There are a few sights that many of us take for granted that instead we should be using as a moment of gratitude every day! Let us take a look at a few of those.

The sight I am always most grateful for is this beautiful lady right here. My love, Margie. Not only is she lovely, she loves me! Her smile, especially if I have anything to do with it, is the most beautiful sight to me. It means that I am living up to my standard of being a good man and taking care of my lady. How about the sight of your front door? When you come home do you think about everything that is wrong with your house or are you grateful that you have a roof over your head? The amount of homeless people is not only heartbreaking, but is growing. In an age where the cost of living keeps increasing, having a place to come home to is definitely something to be grateful for. How about the dinner or breakfast you are about to eat? How many people go hungry? Sure it might not be the dish that you want, but you can afford something. These things you might be grateful for but how often do you express that gratitude? Even just to yourself? We are all guilty of taking it a little bit for granted.

When we stop to express gratitude for things like a loving spouse, a place to come home to and food to keep us going we feel more abundant and full of good fortune. It is my belief that something more happens. I believe that being grateful for that spouse will help increase the love between you two. I believe that being grateful to have a place to come home to will make it feel more peaceful, even if it is a little chaotic. I believe having gratitude for whatever meal you are about to eat will make it taste just that little bit better. Do not take my word for it. Try expressing, and feeling, gratitude for these things in your own life. Before you walk in the door at the end of a hard day, say, “I sure am grateful to have someplace to come home to.” When you see your spouse say to yourself, or to them, “I am really grateful for you even if we occasionally drive each other crazy.” Pause before that first bite and express gratitude for being able to enjoy a meal when many do not have that pleasure. Try doing this for a week and see how it feels.

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE DAY 10 – TASTE

Can you believe that we are one-third of the way through our 30 days? Hard to believe. I hope you are beginning to see just how many things you have to be grateful for in your life. We are just warming up. This has been just as enlightening to me. There are so many things that I had not stopped to think about in a long time. Areas of our life that we take for granted. Today is no different. What taste are you grateful for? We did do one on food so I will not dwell too much on that.

When people think of taste, almost always it goes to food. That makes sense, because after the age of about 2 or so, we mostly put food in our mouth. Taking this into account, there are more tastes to be grateful for. This is what makes these month so exciting. We are asked to think about different things. When was the last time you thought about your sense of taste and what you had to be grateful for? I am going to share a few of mine, but I would love to hear yours as well.

The post does ask us what taste we are grateful for today. That will help keep things a little simpler. I will start from my morning. Perhaps one of the things I am most grateful for, not only in taste but in life, is the taste of my lady’s lips on mine as I am leaving for work. Why? It not only is a reminder of the love we share, but what I have to look forward to come home to. On the way to work, there is the taste of my coffee I brewed that morning. So much to be grateful for there. The amazing machine that does all the work for me. The energy that it will help give me at 4am. Even the fun variety of the different coffees I have. One thing that is overlooked by the majority of people is the taste of clean water. A large portion of the planet does not have access to clean water. It is something we take for granted but without it, a lot could go wrong.

There are more abstract tastes as well. The taste of success when you get a little win in the day. As an author, these can often be what keeps you going. The taste of compassion when you seek to understand instead of respond. Yes, I realize they might not fit the specific definition of ‘taste’ but they are certainly something to be grateful for. How about you? What tastes bring gratitude to mind for you? Please let us know in the comments below.

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE DAY 6 – NATURE

If we had a guest author for the blog today, it should be my mother. In an effort to keep this streak going, you are stuck with me, however. Both my mother and I love walking in nature. Mine is more reserved for when the temperature is higher than my age. Even if you live in a city where nature is scarce, you can escape to a park or even a tree-lined street. Nature can be found in some of the most interesting places. This was brought to my attention while reading a book by Tom Brown Jr. Whether you are in a national forest, or the park down the street, what in nature are you grateful for?

Living in more of a city environment, I am always excited to see some of nature’s bigger offerings. They tend to be a little more rare and thus, a little more exciting to see. Above you can see a picture I took of Margie taking a picture of a deer that strolled alongside our car. The other day, on my way to the gym, a coyote crossed in front of me. Animals that are not very common are ones that I am most grateful for. When my mother and I walk through the park, we are always on the lookout for new birds and other animals we do not normally see. This can be fun and make the walk that much more exciting.

It does not always have to be a large animal. The first flowers of spring are something that I am always grateful to see in nature. It gives me hope that warmer weather is on the way and I can look forward to longer days and more sunshine. We discussed how much I enjoy waking to the sound of birds chirping in the morning. Crickets chirping at night while I sit on the porch with Margie and a cup of coffee is rather relaxing. Do any of these resonate with you or are there other things in nature that you are grateful for? Is it the warmth of the sunshine or the refreshing rain? Nature offers us so much to be grateful for, I would love to hear what you think in the comments.

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE DAY 3 – COLORS!

Day 3 of our gratitude celebration. We have had some fun so far. If you would like to go back and read the first 2 days, you are certainly welcome to do so. If you would rather just start from today, that is cool too. Gratitude is great whenever you put it into your life. The object of this 30 day dive into the world of gratitude is to get you to think of, and notice for the first time perhaps, things in your life that you have to be grateful for. After 30 days, you will find yourself developing a new mindset of gratitude. The effect this will have in your life is nothing short of magic. Do not take my word for it. That is what these 30 days are all about. Putting this to the test.

Today’s question is what color are we grateful for. Color plays such an important role in our life. We naturally gravitate towards some colors and there are others that do not enthuse us at all. Personally, I am not a fan of beige, taupe or anything in that color scheme. It tends to bore me and have me feeling bland and unexcited. There are other people who love it. The only time this becomes much of a problem is when those two people live under the same roof!

As far as what colors I am grateful for, I would pick a combo that is my favorite. I love turquoise and yellow together. It makes me think of all things tropical. Those two colors can have me thinking of vacation even in the dead of winter. Lucky for me, my lovely lady does not object to these colors, or that combination. We had a great experience in the Bahamas. Their flag incorporates these colors. Upon reflection, it occurred to me that these were also the colors of my elementary school. Not sure if that has some sort of subconscious influence on the matter.

How about you? Are there colors that make you happy when you see them? Are there colors you tend to avoid? Are they different for clothes verses cars? Have your choices changed throughout the years? I can’t wait to hear what everyone has to say!