Tag: Happiness

WHAT MESSAGE ARE YOU SHARING?

It is no secret that I enjoy writing in coffee shops. One of the ones that I frequent is a Starbucks not far from my house. It is both convenient and friendly. Recently, they were told to start writing messages on cups to make it feel more like a ‘personal experience’. Probably a good idea. It is always good to make a customer feel more like a friend than a number. The message on the cup above confused me a little. Why did they feel compelled to tell me that “different is good”? Do I come across as a ‘different’ kind of individual? The conclusion I came to is that they were giving me inspiration on what to write for this post.

Different is good. Far too many of us are overly concerned with fitting in. We look online and to others to discover what is the latest trends. We spend a lot of money on items not for superior quality, but because the brand is what is hot currently. If you asked someone if they would like shoes that are comfortable and would last, or ones that have the ‘cool’ logo on the side, what would they answer? Logic would dictate the former, but most often people choose the latter. Same with character and behavior. We do and say what all of the ‘cool kids’ are doing and saying instead of what we believe to be the right thing to do. Being kind to and associating with those who may be struggling, is that the cool thing to do? It certainly is the right thing to do. If people look at you as different, that just means you are being true to your character. You are different. We all are. Being an original makes you far more valuable than just being another copy.

Same Starbucks when I went a few days later with my mother for an iced coffee. Completely different message, but one that was inspiring just the same. Both of these messages were very nice of the employees to write on our cups. Both very encouraging. It started me thinking on what messages are we putting out in the world? Is it one letting someone know that there difference is not only ok, but makes them special like in the first picture? Perhaps, much like the second picture, we are just letting someone know that we believe in them and they are loved? Both of those are powerful and beautiful messages.

How about you? What message are you putting out there? You might not be an employee in a coffee shop writing messages on customers cups but you do not have to be. Most of us deal with people in our profession in one way or another. What kind of message are we putting out to them? Even in our private life, what greetings do we give a stranger? Do we acknowledge them at all? There are so many opportunities to spread messages of hope, compassion and love. Are we taking advantage of them? Even wearing a shirt with a simple and inspiring message can go a long way. There are certainly no shortage of clothing with sarcastic, or uninspiring messages. Let us be the sunshine in someone’s day. What message are you spreading and how are you doing it?

THE BEAUTIFUL LIFE COSTS NOTHING

How many self-improvement books do you imagine there are in the world? I have written 3 by myself. A quick Google search says that over 11,000 self-improvement books are published each year. Let us narrow it down a little. How many books do you think there are about happiness? Once again asking good old Dr. Google, they estimate thousands. I think that would be a very conservative estimate.

The point of all of these questions is that there is a ton of information out there on both improving your life and the level of happiness in it. It can feel impossible knowing where to start. (My suggestion would be the great book, A Happy Life for Busy People) The ironic thing is that we are making this far more complicated than it need be. Yes, there are amazing tools and strategies we can use. Many of which are both on this website and in my 3 books. You do not have to google sites like secret2anamazinglife.com or even wonderful authors like Neil Panosian to discover a beautiful life. Your life can improve dramatically using the 11 items listed above.

None of these items cost a thing. They can all be done whether you live in a studio apartment or a mansion. Each one of us has a surprising amount of tools at our disposal to improve our life. How about getting and giving a hug? Both parties end up better for it and it costs nothing. Things like gratitude, meditation and watching a sunset or sunrise. I think we could all agree that these would make our live a bit more amazing. If you were to do all 11 items on the list above every week, your life would improve by leaps and bounds. What is stopping you? Time? Most of these take no time at all. How long does it take you to feel grateful? How about to do a little deep breathing? There is nothing standing in our way from taking these simple, no-cost actions to improve our life.

Print off the list or save the picture on your phone. Try to work all 11 in through the course of a week. See how much more joy you find. Can you imagine doing all 11 in a single day? Why not? it would take you all of 5 to 10 minutes and serve you a lot better than scrolling mindlessly on your phone. It would still even leave you plenty of time to do that as well should you choose. A beautiful life does not need to cost a lot or be very complicated. It only need a few simple items like those above. What other items can you think of that will not cost a thing and bring you a more beautiful life? Let us know.

SHARE THE FUN!

Here is a photo of my lovely lady and I enjoying some rum punch as we arrived at our hotel in beautiful Green Island Jamaica last Monday. As you can tell from the picture, we were determined to have a good time. In addition to that, we were determined to bring as much love, kindness and fun to all of the people that we met. The souvenir we wanted to bring home was new friendships and memories of bringing joy to others. Being of service and trying to leave someone a little bit better than they were before they met you is one of the greatest joys in life.

We made many great new friends. Three of which are pictured above. First, was Shantal. This young lady was sunshine in the human form. She hosted karaoke, which Margie sang at. She was so nice to us before the show began, loved Margie’s singing and spent some time talking with us after the show. She told us where she finds inspiration and we discussed how important a positive attitude is in life. Every interaction we had with Shantal only made us happier we had the opportunity to get to know her. We both hope this will be a life-long friendship

Next was Enrico Pezzoli, the managing director of the resort we were staying at. Before we had a chance to meet with him, we heard several things about him from his employees. We heard they really felt listened to by him. Many stating how he was always present and encouraging. Mr. Pezzoli was kind enough to take time out of his busy schedule to talk with us not once, but twice. He told us about the casino and entertainment venue they are building next to the resort. He also shared tips on where to travel in Italy. We chatted some about my books and I look forward to hearing more about his thoughts on them.

Lastly, was a server we had at breakfast. Her name was Felecia. She could not have been kinder and more pleasant. When Margie ordered soursop juice, she offered information on the fruit itself and how she enjoyed eating them. She even went to look to see if they had some extras they had not juiced in back so she could better show us what she meant. Not only was she friendly, but treated us as friends and not just another table to wait on. We were fortunate enough to see her before we left and take a picture with her.

Being kind and trying to make people’s lives a little better is not just something you want to do on vacation. When I came back, I stopped at the coffee shop that I normally write at. This is what they wrote on my cup. It was a very kind gesture, but one I think was earned by doing my best to brighten their days whenever possible. This holds true with your family, friends and coworkers! We should always have the goal of leaving others, and the world around us, a little better than we found it. Being kind and offering the gift of joy is just one of the many ways in which we can do that!

Think of your average day. Who do you interact with? How can you make their day a little better than it was before you came into it? This can be other drivers, coworkers, the cashier at the grocery store to, of course, family and friends. Do you best to be a blessing to others. It will not only make their life better, but bring more joy to yours as well.

FORGET THE BILLS FOR A MINUTE!

Let us be clear from the start. This is not a recommendation to be completely fiscally irresponsible. What it is advocating is making sure to budget some money on creating joy in your life. If we wait to have fun until all of the bills are completely paid and everything is settled in our life, we might be waiting forever.

In addition to waiting forever, think about how life will feel. It will feel as though joy is constantly being delayed for responsibility. Chasing instant gratification with no thought for responsibility is a recipe for disaster. So is denying ourself any joy. It can lead to feelings of frustration and resentment. Not to mention life rather sucks while we are going through it. Who wants that? As you read this, I will be on my way home from a week-long escape to the tropics. Was it expensive? Yes. Is it worth it? Absolutely. My lady and I work so hard, we need and deserve time to reconnect. Do I still owe money on my car and need to save more for our wedding? Yes, but by taking this time away it will keep me refreshed and able to push on towards those two goals. Plus, it will keep the love strong between Margie and I so the wedding will still happen!

In your own life, be responsible with your money. This will include setting some aside for fun while you look to take care of all of the bills you have. Memories are a bill of sorts. What is a life worth that has no joyous memories to look back on? One that was solely focused on getting ahead and material acquisition? Not much at all. A life filled with lots of love, joy and happiness with a few bills still left to pay is worth a great deal more!

SHINE ANYWAY!

There are many things in this world that confuse me. One of the greatest is that people are offended and irritated by other people’s happiness. We should celebrate one another’s happiness. There are so many reasons for this, that I cannot imagine why you would not want to do it. Think of going to a restaurant where a stranger is having a birthday party. I have actually heard people complain that singing happy birthday disturbed their dinner. Here is an idea, why not sing along? One, singing along would lift your spirit. Two, can you imagine how it would feel for you to have a total stranger singing Happy Birthday to you? It would just add a little more joy to an already happy occasion. Why rain on someone else’s parade?

Simply, when you celebrate the joys of others, you have more joy to celebrate in life. When you are envious or irritated by the joy of others, you have more in your life to be troubled by. We cannot control what happens in our life, much less the life of others. What we have complete control over is how we react to what happens. If we choose to be irritated, our life will be less enjoyable. If we celebrate every joy we see as if it was our own and feel grateful for all the joy in the world, our life will be filled with more joy and gratitude. Which life would you rather live?

The picture mentions one other important point. That is that this irritation can result from someone who is not quite healed. When you break up it is hard to see other couples loving. It can be as though through their love they are pouring salt on your wounded heart. That is only one way of looking at it. It could also be that they are giving you a picture of hope. That despite your unfortunate experience in the world of love, there is hope that things could work out well in the future and here is an example of how. The same can be true with people who have abundance when we are lacking. Someone with lots of friends when we are lonely. Someone healthy when we are not. It may be that their joy is giving us hope and a reminder that things will not always be tough. When you share in their joy, it often helps you make it through your tough times. When you resent other people’s happiness it not only makes you look like a jerk, but darkens your life even further.

Celebrate the joy in other people’s lives. If someone is irritated by your joy, give them some and do not let it dampen your celebration of life. Those folks are often the ones who need a little love and compassion the most.

STAY CONNECTED AND BRING JOY!

This was the picture on my daily motivational calendar the other day. I apologize for the slightly crooked picture. Take a look at this idea for reasons to stay connected with someone. As an author, I give my full approval. We talk about our favorite movies with others. There are hours spent discussing favorite shows we stream, but what about books? A book is more powerful because it causes us to slow down and use more of our brain and imagination. It also takes a little more time which can prolong the adventure. This can also create a deeper and more exciting conversation with the person who recommended the book.

As an author of three books, nothing frustrates me greater than not hearing what people thought of what I had written. There are countless people who have picked up one or more of my books with a promise to let me know what they thought and nothing. Any feedback not only helps me become a better author in the next book, but gives me motivation to write more knowing how it affects others. So if you have read one or more of my books, feel free to message me your thoughts.

As far as sharing books that you have not written, what a great way that is to learn more about the person who recommended the book. What was it that made them like the book so much? I am a big fan of books by Bill Bryson despite the fact he is not so good at returning correspondence. I would recommend the book, A Walk in the Woods to anyone and everyone. The audiobook is quite amusing as it is read by the author. How to Win Friends and Influence People is my personal favorite. A great guide to being more personal. There are so many others. I have had friends tell me about books, and even series, they enjoy. It has brought countless amounts of joy into my life. I have enjoyed both the books and the conversations we have had about them.

How about you? What are some of your favorite books? What would you recommend to your friends, or favorite author/blogger, to read?

THE FREEDOM WHERE HAPPINESS BEGINS

Today’s post has a simple message. I understand the picture is a lot to read, but it leaves us with a really good message. Never force your way of living on someone else. When your expectation, or worse yet standard, is that everyone should live, think and believe as you do it will cause you a great deal of anger and sadness. When you are tempted to force your beliefs on someone else, imagine how you would feel if someone did that to you?

Once again, I feel like this should be common sense, but in today’s world far too many of us seem upset by those who are different than us. This is not only a ridiculous expectation, it is one that will never be fulfilled. Leaving us constantly frustrated. Who would want to live a life like that? You do not have to condone every difference that people have to respect it. You can think to yourself, “That is not for me, but I am glad it makes them happy.” What leads us all to be better versions of ourselves can often be different for each of us. We are going to take a deeper look at this later in the week. Today let us understand that forcing our way of life on someone else, or even expecting them to share our way of life, will only lead to a frustrated and unhappy life for all parties. Learn to respect other’s differences as so many do for you. Can you imagine if everyone who disagreed with some aspect of your life came up to you to argue with the intent of you living more like them? Why on earth would you take this approach to anyone else? Let us all learn to respect and love one another.

WANT A HAPPY LIFE? USE THIS ONE SECRET

The other morning, I had the pleasure of sharing coffee and conversation with my friend Nick. We always have a great time together and discuss many topics deeply. We rarely engage in small talk and I love that.

One subject we discussed was the secret to having a happy life. It will also earn you a great deal of respect from both friends and strangers. You will still have the occasional rough day, but even on those days you will have help keeping your spirits up!

What is the amazing secret that can do all of this? It is being kind to others. Yes, this may sound like a Mr. Rogers idea. It really should be common sense. When I trained people both as a bartender and a postal worker, I stressed the importance of being kind.

Many people view being kind as something you do for others. That is only half true. When you are kind at work, whether that is to your coworkers or customers, it helps the day go by smoother and quicker. It is true that not everyone will reciprocate, but let that be their problem. Do not let it stop your kindness.

As you read this, I will be on vacation with my lovely lady in Jamaica. We will be kind to everyone we meet. Why? First, everyone deserves kindness. It is how humans should treat each other. Second, it will have people treating you better. Think of your own experience. If you meet someone that is always kind and grateful approach you, how will you greet them? Will you be more inclined to treat them kindly? Of course you will.

Here is the added bonus. When you do have a bad day, people notice. Not only that, but they miss the usual cheer and kindness. This will make them inclined to work to cheer you up. Can you imagine if this is the interaction with everyone you met? That is just some of the reasons to be kind. What other benefits can you think of that being kind brings?

THE 2 THINGS HAPPINESS IS ALL ABOUT

Today is Friday! At least that is the day this post comes out. Let us go into the weekend refreshing our mindset. In a world where everything is available at our fingertips, or can be delivered to our front door, it is understandable that we live in a state of wanting more. There is always the ‘next big thing’. People want the latest phone, the latest streaming service or the newest thing.

It is not bad to want the best, but at what cost? It is one thing to feel this way with material goods, but seldom does emotion stay in one place. Suddenly we are wanting more from our friends, our family and even our spouse. This not only causes fractures in relationships, but has us living in a state of lack.

When you always want more, then you never feel like you have enough. You feel unsatisfied. Even if you do get more, you still feel empty. What is the solution? Gratitude. When you switch to being grateful for what you do have, you feel abundant instead of lacking. When you do get more, you feel blessed and favored. It is a much happier life.

You can increase that feeling of gratitude when you consider how many problems you do not have. You have an illness or disease? I’m not here to tell you to be happy about that, but consider what you don’t have. There are roughly 20,000 human diseases. We should be glad we don’t have more than we do.

The 2 secrets of happiness are not that complicated. Be happy for the blessings you do have and be grateful for the problems you do not have. If you were to focus on these two things before bed and when you arise, your life would be amazing.

SMILING STRANGERS 😃

Last post we discussed an interaction I had with a stranger named Jeff. If you have not read it, have a look. It is an entertaining and brief story. It was a short and pleasant moment with a fellow I may never see again. This altercation not only provided material for a post on this website, but it brightened my day and filled me with gratitude. Can you recall a pleasant interaction with a stranger? Most of us remember rude or disrespectful people a lot more than we remember nice ones. Just the way our brains seem to be wired. The cumulative effect of stacking memories of unpleasant interactions, is that it can lead to a conclusion that most people in the world are unpleasant.

While it is true that there is a demographic of people that we may describe as unpleasant, we are helped every day by people we can often overlook or take for granted. Did you stop for a cup of coffee? Were you greeted nicely? Did someone hold a door for you? Did someone share a smile with you? Even someone listening to what you had to say is such a gift. A person cleaning off a table in a restaurant so you can eat at a clean table. Yes, this is there job, but them doing it and doing it well allows for a more pleasant experience for you. Stop and think of all the nice things that strangers do for you in a day. Even just sharing a smile with you in their busy day. When you do this for a week, it will do two important things for you.

What should be obvious is that it will increase the level of gratitude you enjoy in your life. We have discussed what this will do for you, but suffice to say it will help you in all areas physical, mental and emotional. The more important, and less obvious, is it will help you to see others and the world in a more positive light. When you reflect daily, for about a week, on what strangers did for you, it will help you to see how good people are. It will also help you to see those on your journey as helping you. This will cause you to have a more positive outlook on the world at large. How helpful could this be? You may be asking what those sunshine-challenged individuals did to cause you to feel grateful? Did they help you practice your patience? Give you an example of the person you do not want to be? Remind you how important it is to be decent and kind? Perhaps their poor behavior only allowed your good behavior to shine even greater? There are at least four ways in which a negative stranger can give you something to be grateful for. Imagine how much more we could get from a positive person?

Lastly, turn this around a little. Ask yourself what positive thing you have done for a stranger. You can have a far greater impact on the world around you than you think. Once you begin to take note of things strangers do for you and how they wonderfully impact your life, you will desire to return the favor.