I confess to this being a little bit of a ‘click bait’ title. It is great you found yourself here, however. This is a gas of sorts. Making people feel good gives them all kinds of energy. It can transform the entire vibe of a workplace. It can increase the joy between a group of friends. It can make the world of social media seem like a less scary and mean place. Why would we not want a world full of people who feel good and will have a spring in their step? Seldom are problems caused by people who are in a good mood.
Picture a world where everyone in it is in a good mood. Yes, this can be a little bit tricky to imagine, but do your best. Confrontations would be down. Teamwork would be up. There would be smiles enough to go around. How would we even start a world like this? By doing just what the picture advises us to do – compliment and inspire people. It is free and it is how we should treat each other. When you make people feel good, they will naturally want to do the same for you and for others. Why not begin spreading feel good feelings today? It is free and it only helps all of us in the long run! A world a smiling faces may seem like a fantasy. It doesn’t have to be. It can be done and it can start with us.
Like many of Mark Twain quotes, this is both filled with truth and a little humor. What he so eloquently expressed is that we should live a life so good that even those who stand to profit from our death would be sad to see us go. How on earth do you do that? Think about those in your life that you impact. That would be everyone you see, talk to and now digitally, impact online. It is not only them, but the people they interact with. Think of what happens when you pay a friend, or even a stranger, a genuine compliment. They feel good about themselves. They have more joy in their heart and their spirit. How do you think they will interact with those they run into?
Even those who seem to be against us in life. There are those sunshine-challenged souls who may be offended at your attempt to better yourself and the world. What about them? You may think they would be happy to see all the joy you attempt to bring to others gone. On the surface that may seem true. Even the hardest person among us appreciates people who are genuine in their desire to bring joy to others.
In my humble opinion, living an amazing life means leaving the world a better place than you found it. There are endless possibilities on how one may accomplish this. You can donate money or time to a charity. You can work hard to be the best spouse, parent or friend you can be. You can look to bring smiles to as many faces as you can on a given day. You can pick up trash. You can feed birds. The list is truly endless. We could do a different thing every day and be good for an entire year. Once you see, or feel, the ways you are improving the world, your heart will be happier too. When you are gone, and there is one less person working to make the world a better place, even the undertaker will be sad.
Where I live, it is the first day of summer today. For those of you reading this in the southern hemisphere, it is very well the opposite. It is my favorite day of the year for so many reasons. I love the sun. In fact, during my autopsy, I will not be surprised if they find a solar battery. It is also technically, the longest day of the year. That is the day when the sun rises the earliest and sets the latest. It is usually fairly warm, which I also enjoy.
It is not an official holiday and there are no traditions for celebration as there are with other days. Being that is my favorite day, I have developed a few of my own. I like to wear a shirt that I made years ago on the first day of summer. It is a good memory. I also enjoy going out for an iced coffee. Spending some time in nature is also a good way to celebrate the first day of summer. You get some fresh air in your lungs and some sun on your skin. Both can help you feel good.
One of the simple pleasures in life is to choose ways in which to celebrate anything. It could be your birthday, Thanksgiving or even the first day of summer. Having fun traditions in place that you enjoy will make your life so much more enjoyable. I would love to hear some of the fun ways in which you like to celebrate. What traditions bring you joy?
“Who is this charming and handsome man?” you may be asking yourself. This is what I look like when I am supposed to be writing. At this moment there was a little flash rainstorm and I was looking out watching it. What was even more important was where my head was at. I was thinking of my life. Not only was I just pondering it, but I was thinking of all I have to be grateful for in it. I was sitting inside, dry and comfortable. I was working on my fourth book. At least that was what I was intending to do. My mind was filled with these positive distractions.
Many of us, myself included, view these moments as a mistake. Perhaps a hiccup on the road to productivity. The ironic thing is that we, as a society, need more moments like this. We are so busy trying to get so much done that we do not give ourselves the one requirement that would help us the greatest. That requirement is time to sit and think. With all that I have going on in my life, I do not take this time enough. I work 40+ hours a week at my day job, DJ on the weekend, write this website and, as mentioned above, am writing my fourth book. Moments of relaxation and contemplation are viewed as some sort of guilty pleasure. That is the emotion that comes up often when enjoying a moment of cerebral solitude – guilt. This time could be used for doing something productive. It could even be used to spend time with the woman I love. At the very least, I could use it to catch up on the sleep I never seem to fit into my schedule.
Here is the crazy part of all of this. This unproductive time will help me do everything better! Many of the best ideas for writing that I have came to me in moments where my mind was free to express them. That is true for both the website you are now reading as well as my books. As far as my relationship goes, that was one of the things I was thinking of. My lady had sent me a picture of her earlier and I swear she looks younger and more beautiful every day! She is amazing cook and we are going to have a great meal tonight! Do you think spending a few minutes thinking thoughts like that are likely to help or hurt my relationship? It will not only make me feel good, but increase my gratitude for both the relationship and the lady I share it with. By allowing these thoughts to manifest themselves while I am awake, I may even be able to sleep a little better. Have you ever laid down at night, your body ready to collapse, only to have your mind be flooded with a million thoughts? That is because they finally have a chance to manifest themselves. We are so ‘busy’ during the day we never have time to listen to our own thoughts.
Do yourself a favor today. Spend a few moments just sitting and thinking. You will be amazed at what might pop in your head! If you want to level up even more, maybe jot it down in a journal. It is like having a conversation with yourself. Will people think you are crazy? Perhaps. Just remember there is a thin line between genius and insanity. Looking at the picture above, I am not sure which side of the line I fall on. What I am sure of is that giving my mind time to let loose will only improve my life and it will do the same in yours!
One simple change we can make to improve our life greatly is to switch from waiting for miracles to noticing them! This may sound a little crazy to some of you, but it really isn’t. I have experienced a brief flirtation with death after my heart surgery. Coming out of that, it really changes your perspective. Knowing your life can be gone in a fleeting second really puts things in perspective. Everything, and I mean everything, is a gift. That is why I was drawn to the quote above. It mentions the ability to love as being a miracle. We all know that to be true. Who doesn’t feel the miracle of love? This could be love for a spouse, a child, a parent, or even just a good friend. Whether you are giving or receiving love, it feels like a miracle.
Love, joy and all the other amazingly positive emotions are easy to feel like a miracle. What about when life goes in the opposite direction? How can that feel like a miracle? It is is. Look at what else this quote mentions. The ability to learn, heal and begin again. Those are all miracles. Learning can be one of the most humbling and challenging circumstances. Who likes to look foolish? That is usually the first step in learning. When the process concludes, you come out the other end as an entirely different person. One that is stronger, smarter and more resilient. That is a miracle. Healing is really a miracle. How many times in life have we felt like there was no way in which we would be able to continue? It could have been a terrible break up or divorce. Perhaps the pain of losing someone we love? It can leave us in such a dark place there can seem no way out. With the help of those who care about us, maybe a little professional help and of course time, we come out the other side. We may never be the same, but we now have an experience in life in which we can draw strength from. Healing is often an ongoing process, but each step is a miracle.
Even when our life seems like a total loss, miracles can still be found in the ability to start again. Losing a job? Filing bankruptcy? Tornado or hurricane destroy all you have worked for? The game is not over. You can start again. Often with more knowledge to create a better future. This is a miracle itself. The fact that the game does not have to end when we are faced with a great challenge and seeming end, that is a miracle. As you can see, from the positive to the negative, miracles are all around us. Switch your thinking from waiting for a miracle to noticing them and your life will become filled with miracles.
Self-improvement, personal-development or whatever term you choose to use can be a complicated affair. It need not be. Searching in your local library or bookstore the ‘self-help’ section can seem overwhelming. Where do you start? I wrote 3 books on the matter myself. They are filled with great tools and strategies that will improve the life you are now living. If you are interested, feel free to search ‘Neil Panosian’ and pick one up. That being said, there is a simple way to begin to live a more enjoyable and fulfilling life starting right now. You need not purchase a book, seminar or anything else. All it takes is a change in mindset.
As you can see in the photo above, it is more accurately a change of focus. As humans we are programed to focus on what is wrong with our life. That can be helpful. It can also be extremely detrimental. When our focus is exclusively, or even primarily on what is wrong, we can be left feeling heavy and defeated. Life can feel like something we have to ‘make it through’. This is a terrible way to go through life. A simple shift can lighten that load and make our life more enjoyable.
Many people call this change in focus “Looking at the world through rose-colored glasses”. That is but one way to look at it. Changing our primary focus on what continues to go right in our life is not denying that there are things that need work. What it does acknowledge is that in any life, there is still plenty of things to be grateful for. Will this help you fix and improve your life? The answer is a surprising ‘Yes’. Will being grateful that you only have a flat tire and not a more expensive repair fix the tire? No it will not. What it will do, however, is keep you in a better frame of mind. It will make the effort to change the tire, or the time waiting for someone to come and do it that much more enjoyable. To that end, you will treat those who help you with more gratitude and appreciation.
When any relationship is feeling challenged in our life, which category do we usually run to? Unfortunately for many, it is the first group. You did something to make your spouse mad? Buy them flowers. Yes, this is a nice gesture, but what about increasing the respect and trust of a relationship? That would mean so much more. A thoughtful gift is a nice thing to give, but is it worth more than commitment? Of course not.
This is even more true when we are looking to grow the relationship. Discussing goals that we have, and discovering ones we share. That is a certain way to grow the relationship. Supporting each other as you both work towards those goals increases that closeness even more. Seeing and witnessing each other’s growth is such a great feeling. Understanding and recognizing the sacrifices your partner makes in the relationship will not only make you feel grateful, but acknowledging it will do the same for your partner. True forgiveness is a gift so priceless that is cannot be overstated.
Thinking of marriage? What is more important, the ring or the commitment? The answer should be obvious. Why then, do so many of us go for the quick fix of the category above? Maybe we have never been taught the important aspects that make a relationship great? It could be that we are not willing to put in the effort we know it will take to grow the relationship. If you don’t put in maximum effort, can you really expect maximum growth? Even if you are fortunate enough to have an amazing relationship like the one I am blessed to have, looking at this list, are there ways in which you can grow it even more? Look at each word in the second category. How can you add more of that to your relationship? Yes, this will take time and energy, but the return will be a life filled with more love and joy than you can imagine. Isn’t that worth it?
Have you ever complained about getting older? Anyone over the age of 30 probably answered ‘yes’ to that question. It is easy to do. Our energy seems to go down and the amount of things that hurt go up. This is more a matter of perspective than anything. The fact that we are here to complain is a great blessing. Yes, that sounds like some positive thinking talk. It is the truth. I tell people “Growing old may be tough, but it is better than the alternative.”
If you were to walk through a children’s cancer ward, it may change how you look at things. Looking at these brave young souls who are facing severe health challenges before their lives even had a chance to get started. We are complaining because our knee always hurts? When you put things into that perspective it feels a little silly. Someone, somewhere, always has it worse than us. It only takes looking at life from their perspective to realize how good we have it.
Scrolling through my social media pages the other day, I realized how many friends I have lost. Many younger than I am today. Their life is over. Yes, they may not have anymore problems, but what about the experience of a tight hug from a friend or loved one after a long day? What about seeing the smile on someone’s face you have just helped? How about tasting that first sip of coffee in the morning? These are all experiences that a moments of joy in even the most challenged life. Being here allows you to experience them. If you need more, it is easy to do. Find ways to bring joy to others. You will receive more smiles and hugs for sure! Your back and body may hurt sometimes, but your soul can feel amazing! Growing old, if you live your life right, is an amazing blessing.
How many times do we plan a great moment to create memories? It could be a vacation to a wonderful destination. Perhaps a family reunion or high school reunion? These are great to capture what could be once in a lifetime moments. When you are facing what could be your last moments, these are not what you will miss the most.
As many of you know, I had a moment facing serious open-heart surgery. When pondering the fact that my days may be numbered, what was I thinking about?It was not the grand moments carefully planned and coordinated. It was not one last vacation or getaway.
What really captured my heart was the little things. Those moments that we all take for granted. Coffee on the porch with a loved one. Get together with a friend for lunch or a coffee. A little walk in the woods and conversation. These are the moments that make life so sweet.
By all means continue to plan and create grand memories. As you do so, do not forget to relish all of those seemingly insignificant moments. When you look back on your life, those will be the moments you wish you had more of.
Wow! This is a good one. How many of us fall into this trap? At one time or another, probably every single one of us. It gives birth to all sorts of cliches such as ” The grass is always greener on the other side.” We continually postpone our happiness. Thinking it will find us over the next horizon. The hard truth is quite the opposite. The grass is really greener where you water it. The next horizon may contain new joys, but it will also contain new challenges. That is why ‘Destination Addiction’ is so dangerous. It can be facilitated by advertising convincing us that we need the next great thing. Social Media, where we compare our challenges to other’s highlights further pushes us in the wrong direction. Thinking our life does not compare to the life of those around us.
How do we overcome Destination Addiction? By changing the question we ask ourselves daily. We spend as much as 90% of our time on the journey and only 10% at the destination. If you had the choice, which would you rather work on making happier? What is the question we should be asking ourselves to make this switch? “What can I do to find, or create happiness right now?” In every situation there is the possibility to find some sort of happiness or the opportunity to create happiness. While it is true that certain circumstances are far easier to do this in, the truth is that our intention and mindset can make every situation a possibility for joy. Even if it may be difficult to find joy for ourselves, we can have the opportunity to create for others. Guess what that would do? Seeing that you have brought joy to another makes you feel….happy! Therefore, even in the struggle, even in the challenge, there exists the possibility of joy.
Have you ever thought of life in this way? Have you ever asked yourself the question we stated above, “What can I do to find, or create happiness right now?” Personally, I can confess that I have not done it enough. That should make us happy. It means we are leaving a lot of happiness unexperienced! There is so much more joy we could discover, and more important, experience, in our life! How exciting is that thought. Try asking yourself this question at least once a day. Whether you do it when things are going well, or if you try it when things are a little tough, you will add more joy to your life. That should be reason enough to do it!
