Tag: Happiness

BOTH KINDS OF PEOPLE MAKE A DIFFERENCE 🤔

Almost everyone has heard of FOMO, or fear of missing out. In life, there is a great deal of joy to be had in missing out on certain things. There are many times when you have to say ‘no’ to the party, saying ‘no’ to getting together with certain people can be just as much a form of self-care as getting together. There is a great deal of inner peace to be had in staying home and healing our spirit. It may be hard for some people to see this. That is only because their focus is on what they are missing, such as the coffee with friends, shopping with the girls, or fishing with the guys. Instead, focus on what you are gaining. Recharging your internal battery. Refilling your reserve to deal with stress. Reclaiming your inner peace.

On the contrary, there are people who really can be a blessing. There are those souls that being around them can just lift your spirit. These people are truly like medicine. Whenever I find myself surrounded too often by people whose very presence induce the urge to take a hot shower, I make a point to fill my company with those people who feel like sunshine. A walk in the woods with my mother. A nice breakfast out with my love. Coffee with my friend Nick. This medicine for the soul can be just as important as the medicine we take for our bodies. In this day and age, you do not even have to connect with people physically. Even people thousands of miles away can bring sunshine and joy to your spirit. Trading messages with my new friend Eduardo in Italy always puts a smile on my face. Phone conversations with my friend Kaylene is Australia, which I have not had in far too long, brighten my day.

Deciding who, and what, in your life that you can do without can make all of the difference between a stress-filled life and a stress-free life. Discovering JOMO, or the joy of missing out, can bring you inner peace. As well as choosing who, and what, bring you joy in your life and add more of them! Even if they have to be added using technology, such as my friends throughout the world I have just messaged.

What can you do without starting today? Who in your life brings a smile to your face? Feel free to share that with the rest of us! Are there people in your life, even if they can’t be there physically, that bring a smile to your face and joy to your heart? Give them a mention in the comments. Doing so might make their day! I know engaging with all of you who follow this site, whether you are in Greenland or Peru, makes my day brighter!

I COULD USE A LITTLE HELP OVER HERE!🆘️

Ever have one of those days you are just in a funk and have no idea why? That is me today. I am not even sure what emotion I am feeling. Is it sadness? Not exactly. Is it frustration? A little. For someone who writes a motivational/inspirational blog, this can feel like a double failure. Then, I recall something I always stress in my books and in my writing here. The goal is not to be happy all of the time. Not only is this unrealistic, it will set you up to experience the feelings of failure more often then not.

Frustration. It is a little of what I am feeling. I kind of feel like the kid in the picture above. In fact, he actually looks a little like me when I was young. That’s a little creepy, but moving on. Often, frustration can be a gift. When we are frustrated, it tends to force us to get off our ass and take action to change whatever aspect in our life that is not working. What if you are not sure what exactly is bothering your spirit? This is the dilemma I am currently facing. I began to look at possible culprits. With my commute, I have been working 55 hours a week, Monday through Saturday at my day job. The overtime is nice, but could it be burnout? It is not the most inspiring place, could that be it? My fourth book has reached a point where I am not sure where to go. Is that the source of my frustration? Due to the previously mentioned work hours, I haven’t been going to the gym as often. That affects your mood. I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder and it is the middle of February. That cannot be helping.

Here I sit trying to figure out why there is a disturbance in the force as they say in Star Wars. It can feel impossible to address the issue, when you do not know the root cause. Still, I know there are things to do that can feed your soul. Focusing on what I have to be grateful for. My home life is peaceful. It includes the most beautiful and amazing lady ever. I have my health, for the most part. I do have a job, although not the most inspiring. I have written three books and over 1800 blog posts. I am working on leaving the world a better place than when I got here. Really, this is a first world problem. I have enough to eat. I have a house to live in. Clean water to drink.

Next, I thought about ways to help my own brain. The first thing that came to mind is that I stopped journaling. Getting your thoughts down on paper can be a great form of therapy. It can also clear out some space in your head. It may even help me discover the source of these unpleasant feelings I am having. Listening to, and doing more meditation can also assist you in clearing out your head. Need to do more of that. Perhaps using my ‘happy lamp’ can help chase away a little of the winter blues? Even writing about it has me feeling a little better. Planning time with the love of my life to do something fun couldn’t hurt either.

So, I am asking for your help. What do you do when you feel yourself in a funk? Especially, when you just can’t put your finger on what is causing it. Thank you all in advance for any suggestions you might have.

FINDING BEAUTY IN HELL

This may be one of the more intense things you read today. I know it is one of the more intense posts I have written in a while. I hope by the time we leave each other today, you will be inspired to look at the world in an entirely different way. The above picture is the outside of a concentration camp from World War II. It still blows my mind how humans can sink to this level of evil towards their fellow human beings. To have a total disregard for the extreme value of human life is beyond me. As you all know, I believe each one of us have a unique gift to bring to the world and a loss of even just one life is too many.

There were so many families that were torn about. Generations that were eliminated from existence in these terrible places. Above is a picture of one man who lived through this nightmare. His name is Viktor Frankl. He was from Austria. As a medical student studying to be a phycologist, he was concerned with the high rate of teen suicide at the time. He set up free clinics in his town that were made available to those who needed them. In 1931, there were no teen suicides thanks in great part to the role of this man. You would think such a caring soul and brilliant mind would be treasured and his programs expanded upon. Sadly, in 1938 Austria became part of the Nazi empire.

In 1942 Viktor married the love of his life. Only nine months later, his entire family were sent to the concentration camp. His father died of starvation. His mother and brother were killed in the gas chamber. His wife died of typhus. Viktor spent 3 long years in the camps. While in there, he practiced what he called logotherapy. One of the aspects of which is that meaning plays a central motivating factor and force in one’s life. He also stated that people find meaning in one of three ways. Making a difference in the world, having particular experiences, or by adopting particular attitudes.

The quote above is a great encapsulation of the book Man’s Search for Meaning. While living in deplorable conditions. Even witnessing the death of his father, his mother, his brother and his wife, Viktor found beauty. Even while being treated as less than human, he found beauty. How on earth was this even possible? One, he was determined that his circumstances, no matter how extremely hellacious they were, would not determine his attitude. He refused to let the evil captures dictate how he was to think. The last freedom, as he stated above, that he had left. He also found beauty in the most extreme situations. One of the examples I found gut-wrenching, yet oddly inspiring, was his story about his soup. The prisoners were given a daily broth of potato water that was somehow supposed to sustain them. One day, while looking in his bowl, he found a potato peel. He celebrated this turn of good fortune as if he had won the lottery. My friend Linda, remembered a story where he saw sunlight shining through a piece of glass and enjoyed the beauty of that.

Man’s Search for Meaning is a book that at once details the unspeakable depths that man can sink to, but also the resilience of the human spirit and will. Everyone should read this book. I think I will do so again shortly. What really stands out to me is, when determined, a man could find beauty in a living hell. When I start to complain about aspects of my life, I think of Victor Frankl. If he could find a beautiful life in the most deplorable conditions, then my inability to find beauty in my own life has less to do with my circumstances and more to do with my attitude.

FROM ONE AMAZING WOMAN TO ANOTHER!👩

Last post we celebrated my mother for her birthday. Here it is Valentine’s Day and I have yet another amazing woman in my life to celebrate! My beautiful (although she is not just beauty) lady Margie! We certainly did not come together in the usual way. If you are interested in that story, it will be in my upcoming fourth book which will be due out in late spring/early summer. We have faced our share of many up and downs! In many ways we are still learning each other. We both work extremely hard and sadly do not have as much time together as either of us would like.

Whether we are working hard together when we DJ, or separate when she is doing cakes and I am writing, we always support each other. We have learned to respect when one of us has reached their limit and have a balance of picking each other up when we are down. There are times when one of us may be tired or out of commission and the other has to pick up the slack. The one thing we both work hard on is our relationship. It may look like we have it all figured out on the outside, but there are countless hours of late night talks and discussions that lead to compromises and getting to know each other even deeper.

From the moment she first brought me a cup of coffee, (still one of my favorite pictures of her) to now when she occasionally joins me for one, I will never get tired of seeing that smile! She never fails to amaze me with how naturally beautiful she is. A beauty which seems to just come shining out her pores from within. Did I mention how much I love her smile? Simple times at home with her are some of my favorite times we share.

Although times at home are my favorite, we certainly have fun when we are out together. Even if it is a simple trip to the grocery store, we always make sure to share some laughter and more importantly, a lot of love. We share some of our favorite things together. We have both went to see people that we like in concert together. We love vacations together. We left the country and still saw several people we both knew. We are always up for new and exciting adventures!

She is about the only person who can get away with disturbing me when I am trying to sleep. Though she doesn’t really often do so on purpose. Still, anytime that we can spend in bed wrapped in each other’s arms we take advantage of. She likes it when I read to her. That way we not only both get some knowledge, but share in a moment of bonding. One of my favorite things that we do together. Sometimes we even just lay there talking about life and our dreams and goals.

It is Valentine’s Day today. Do not be one of those cynical souls who talk about this being a holiday for the greeting card companies. You do not need to do any material exchanges at all. Instead, celebrate that among all of the things that we choose to celebrate those that we love most. Yes, I am very aware this is something that we should celebrate every day. You never know what tomorrow brings. It is nice, however, to have a day that is set aside just to focus on Love. In a world where we all too often focus on negative things such as war or gossip, let us take today to focus on love and those we share it with. I am so happy I have someone so special to share my day with.

WHERE YOU COME FROM MATTERS!🤱

Where you come from matters. The influences in life you have as you are young and developing play an important role in your adult life. They can be something you have to work to overcome, or if you are lucky, they can be good building blocks. Today is my mother’s birthday. As you can see, I learned a lot from her. Including, but not limited to, my unique eating style. I was fortunate enough to be instilled with many good skills and habits that have served me as I grew older.

Despite not teaching me how to win a “Howl like a wolf” contest, she has taught me many a great thing. My ability to get along with people had much of it’s genesis in watching her. I recall, when we were young, we took the public bus many places. In an attempt to keep her curious son from wandering off, or talking to people he shouldn’t, we played games. One of the ones I remember best was doing the vocabulary tests out of the magazine Reader’s Digest. In hindsight, it was a little above my age grade. Due to that, I now have a rather large vocabulary.

We have even met celebrities like Smokey Bear on his 75th birthday! There are many things we do to this day that are quite a lot of fun. A few are listed below. Check out both the fun pictures and the amazing things that we explore together.

We go for many hikes in nature. This not only helps keep us healthy, but satisfies both of our appreciation for all things natural. We explore different parks and forests.

We attend different cultural events together, such at the Octoberfest in the picture above. It is fun learning about different cultures and trying their cuisine.

We do various run/walks for charity. Some of them even include a tasty cream puff at the end. This not only helps us do our best to improve our health, but allows us to help others as we do. Yet another thing that I learned from my mother.

We attend and support different activities in the community. Like a soup crawl in the dead of winter. It takes special convincing to get me out when the temperature is cold. Even if her and Margie did enjoy making bracelets.

Speaking of winter! My mom may be the only person who likes our zoo as much as me. We even attended a winter event that featured many beautiful light displays. We could both go to the zoo every day. It was much to her dismay we were not able to take a picture with the otters on this day.

It may be said that nobody enjoys the Wisconsin State Fair more than I do. My mom does come close and Margie is starting to get there. We go and enjoy trying some of the new foods. (I am telling you mom, you missed out with the gummy bear brat) We always watch the awards they hand out and walk around to look at the art and the gardens.

Over the years we have done many things together. We have went on vacations, went to all of the places above and more! Whether it is exciting locations like these, or just getting together for a nice cup of coffee, we always have a lot to talk about, which might be something else I got from her. So I just wanted to take a special moment and say “Happy Birthday” to my mom. Also, to say “Thank you” for playing a large part in the man that I have become today. I love you so much for all that you do and who you are. I am grateful for the best mom on earth. I hope you have the most amazing day!

WANT TO FEEL YOUNGER? TRY TIME TRAVEL!

Isn’t this a nice idea? Want to be younger? Just go back in time! Look at the picture of a young Neil above. Back then I didn’t have any aches or pains. I didn’t feel like taking a nap at two o’clock in the afternoon. I was certainly more flexible. I know what you are thinking, “Neil, time travel is not possible.” Other than certain celebrities who seem not to age, for the rest of us this may be true. Then again, it might not. There was a study, I apologize for not being able to find the exact information, on a group of elderly individuals. They created a town that mimicked everything from their youth. The movie theater showed movies from when they were young. The music they had playing was from their era. The restaurant had dishes that were popular when they were young. What happened? After a period of time, their telomeres lengthened. Those are the the ends of our chromosomes that indicate our aging. Longer telomeres are related to a more youthful appearance and feeling. The question is, how can we lengthen our telomeres, or at least keep them from getting shorter?

According to this study, surrounding yourself with stuff from your youth will help. This idea occurred to me when I found myself listening to some songs from when I was younger. Not only was I taken back to that period mentally, but it seemed to give me a little extra boost. Same can be said for watching movies, television shows and even commercials from when you were young. Have you ever felt that? You watch a movie, listen to some music or maybe even go to a restaurant that reminds you of your youth and suddenly, you start to feel a little younger? Maybe a little spring in your step or smile on your face? That brings us to a few other things you can do to help maintain, or recapture your youth.

If you search about how to lengthen your telomeres on the internet, it will tell you a diet rich in beans, legumes, nuts and seaweed will help. I don’t know about you, but there is only so much seaweed I can eat in one sitting. There are two other activities that I find more enjoyable than sharing lunch with a manatee. The first is brisk walking. Going for a brisk walk is one of the healthiest things you can do. If you happen to walk in nature, there are even more benefits. Now, we learn it can also help make you younger. I can hear my mom celebrating this news as she is reading it. Here is something else that my mom, myself, and I am sure many of you can celebrate as well. Coffee has also been shown to help with the length of your telomeres. Coffee helps you stay young? I was very happy to read this news. I am sure they do not mean the 40 cups a day the author Voltaire drank. I am guessing he did most of his writing sitting on a porcelain throne. For the rest of us, a cup or two a day just might to the trick to keep us young.

Here is the last secret to regaining your youthful spirit. Do your best to surround yourself with young people. People who can find the joy in life. People who can just act silly. People who are young and young at heart. As you can see, I have one silly lady to call my own. Margie always has a silly comment or action that is only a moment away. Conversely, stay away from people who will make you older. You know the ones. The “whoa is me” people. The ones who are always complaining or telling you how awful the world is. There are certain people that after listening to them, you can end up exhausted. Do your best to stay away from those folks. They could literally be sucking the life out of you. Instead, spend more time with people who will make you laugh. People who will always find the good in others and the world around them. It may save your life. It certainly will extend it.

Time travel itself may be a few years off, but with these tips and tricks we can feel young. This will if not add years to our life, add some life to our years! I would love to hear anything you do that helps you feel more youthful.

STOP AND TAKE A LOOK AROUND 👀

Above is a picture I took of the sunrise just outside of my place of work. Not too crazy about the snow, but that sky was something to behold! The picture doesn’t even do it justice. In today’s world we can be so busy working to get ahead, or sometimes just make it through, that we forget to stop and take a look around. That is what I encourage you to do right now. Seriously, right now, wherever you are, take a look around. What do you see? What is beautiful? What is there that you can be grateful for? There is always something. I leave for work at 4:30 in the morning. It is dark and this time of year, quite cold. Still, being able to watch the sunrise is something beautiful to be grateful for.

Life can be crazy. We all need to stop, if only for a minute or two, and appreciate all of the things that are beautiful and that we can be grateful for in life. As I write this, I am sitting in a warm coffee shop, the sun is shining in and I am able to share this with all of you. From Peru to Sudan, we all have beauty in our lives that could be appreciated. We all have something to be grateful for. Let us take a moment out of our busy lives to acknowledge it.

YOU ARE WHERE YOU ARE BECAUSE OF THIS🤔

Pick a situation in your life. It can be one you are happy with, or one you are not so thrilled with at the moment. Now, here is the fun part – start thinking backwards. The quote above is very true. We are where we are in life because of the choices we have made. This is a good thing. Taking responsibility for where we are gives us control. Many people confuse responsibility for blame. The two are not the same. When you blame someone, or something, for where you are, you give them or it control. When you take responsibility for your life, you assume control over it. What I meant about thinking backwards is looking at the decisions that have taken you to where you are currently, whether that is good or bad.

Even bad situations leave a key to success. Think about what decisions have left you where you are. Maybe you were not disciplined enough in your health and now you find yourself out of shape, or in a healthy crisis. Maybe you didn’t show up for work on time and now you find yourself on probation or looking for work. If you did not act loving and compassionate to your partner, you might be looking for a new valentine. Most people stop here. They might even stick around and beat themselves up over it. This gets us nowhere except feeling bad about ourselves.

Instead, look at how you can make better decisions next time. This is where the difference in blame and responsibility come into play. If you say, “Well, I couldn’t make it into work on time because they kept changing my schedule.” or “If the boss would have been nicer, I would have been more inclined to be there.” How about, “My partner was always nagging me so I snapped.” If you put the blame on others, you are more likely to make the same mistakes next time. Let us face it, finding the perfect schedule, boss or partner is impossible. If we did, they might not keep us around because we are not perfect. We also will feel helpless and not control of your own life. When take responsibility for your own role in your life, you know you can change it. You can show up on time, even if they change your schedule. If your partner does something to irritate you, there are better ways to communicate that and change it. You have control over all of those things.

Harry Truman, one of my favorite presidents, had a sign on his desk that said “The buck stops here.” Meaning, he was in charge of the country, so for good or bad, it was his responsibility. Imagine a politician with that attitude these days! We have been looking at how negative situations can be a great teaching tool, but what about positive ones? We can look at what decisions have helped us arrive there as well. Did we help someone in need and now they have helped us? Maybe we put in the work on a project and now we find ourselves done ahead of time and with a little freedom? We really worked to better ourselves and now we find we have more friends and our spouse is more in love with us than ever! We must look at what positive decisions we made. To take it to another level. See if you can apply these good decisions to an area of your life that may not be working so well. If you have been paying compliments and showing appreciation to your coworkers , but things are not going so good at home, maybe try being a little more attentive there. If you have been doing your 20 squats every day, but you are weeks behind on writing your fourth book (hypothetically) then apply making small efforts every day to that.

Taking responsibility for your lot in life is not blaming yourself. It is taking responsibility and control of your own life. It is using what you can learn from both the good and the bad to make the best out of the life you have left. What decisions have you made that you can learn from?

ONLY 2 WAYS TO LIVE YOUR LIFE ✌️

I ended my third book with this quote. It is an interesting truth. Mr. Einstein was one of the smartest people to grace our planet and I have to admit he came up with a good one here. Going through my surgery and brief flirtation with death did give me a new perception on things. Leading up to the surgery, I think was even more profound. I am going to share this with you in hopes that you will not have to be sawed in two like I was to be able to see everything like a miracle.

How do we begin to see everything as a miracle? We take this bit of advice from another wise soul, Dr. Wayne Dyer. Changing the way we look at things is such a valuable tool that many of us do not use often enough. Let us start with a big one – life. In my book, The Beat Goes On, I share a story about being at the movies with Margie 2 months before my surgery. As we were watching superheroes rid the world of a host of evil villains, it occurred to me that I could be dead a mere 60 days from now. That may sound morbid, and a bit scary, to some of you. It wasn’t to me at the time. What it did serve to do was give me a swift kick in the rear end. Time was ticking. The sand was falling through the hourglass. I looked at Margie and realized that every second ticking by was one less I would have with her. If I only had 2 months, what did I want to tell her? What did I want to do together? How did I want to make her feel? Life had never felt so precious to me. If you want to hear more of this story, I highly suggest checking out my book.

It should be pretty obvious, but just in case it is not, I made it through. It would be tricky to be writing this if I didn’t. What I was left with was not only a really cool scar on my chest, but that sense of urgency. What I realized is that every day, every second is still one less that we get to spend with each other. Not just Margie and I, but everyone in my life. We never know how much sand is in the top of the hourglass, or how much time we have left. All we know is it is less than it was before. When you lay down and night, realize one more day on the planet has ticked by for you. Did you use it well? Were there some things you could have done better? Think of what did go right and the fact that you made it through. Give thanks for that. Really feel that sense of gratitude that your ticket was not punched that day.

When you wake up tomorrow, give a big stretch and be grateful that you made it to another day. Then, realize that the sand is still flowing through the hourglass. How are you going to make the most of this day? Are you going to do something to build your legacy? Are you going to take some time to relax and enjoy the beauty of nature? You could explore the world of a new book. How about telling someone how much you truly love them? Time is ticking. Get every drop out of the juice of life. Live your life as if everything is a miracle, because it really is.

CAN YOU SEE A YELLOW CAR 🚕?

We have discussed this many times before. This is not only the key to the Law of Attraction, there is real science behind it. Using the part of the brain called the reticular activating system, which filters what the brain deems important, makes all of the difference in the world. Anecdotally, we see it when we buy a new car or outfit, and suddenly see many people with the same car or outfit. It is just what your brain decided was important.

If we know this happens with cars and outfits, why do we not take advantage of it for more important things? When I urge people to focus on what they have to be grateful for, or what is positive in their lives, this is the reason why. It is not being ignorant to what may not be going well. Indeed, we can use that to better clarify what it is we do want. What it does do for us is reveal more and more things that we have to be grateful for or that are a positive in our lives. It also works in reverse. Every have a bad day at work and when you come home you notice every little annoying thing that your spouse does? Normally, these wouldn’t even bother you. Perhaps you even snap at them when they don’t deserve it? How about if you have a disagreement with your spouse before work? How is the day at the office going to be that way? Productive? Singing kumbaya with your coworkers? I would imagine not.

Enough doom and gloom here. Let us practice thinking positive! What happens when your partner starts the day by showing you a loving gesture? You go into work and don’t even mind if the boss is yelling all day. You are just looking forward to coming home to more of that loving feeling. Maybe you have a great day and work and a relaxing drive home? Then if your spouse seems to be a little more sunshine challenged than you, it might bother you as much. You might even be able to lift them up as well. Why? You were feeling good.

Take having a good start to the day. Maybe you get a hug from that special someone? Maybe your dog snuggles up to you with a cute look on their face? Maybe you just had the perfect cup of coffee? Whatever it is, you leave the house with a smile on your face. You start to drive to work and notice songs you like on the radio. Oh, and what is that new little place to eat that you have never tried? Wow, the trees sure are a pretty shade of green. This may all sound a bit silly, but it is really how our brain works. The crazy thing is that we leave this up to chance most of the time. I did a video on my YouTube channel a few years ago called “Waking up in neutral” We need to act more in life, and react less. Set a determination to have a good day. Read something positive and inspiring. Recite some empowering affirmations. Have your happy playlist set to go. Whatever it takes. Start your day on a positive note and commit to staying focused on the positive. Life will feel like magic.