Tag: Happiness

WHERE YOU COME FROM MATTERS!🤱

Where you come from matters. The influences in life you have as you are young and developing play an important role in your adult life. They can be something you have to work to overcome, or if you are lucky, they can be good building blocks. Today is my mother’s birthday. As you can see, I learned a lot from her. Including, but not limited to, my unique eating style. I was fortunate enough to be instilled with many good skills and habits that have served me as I grew older.

Despite not teaching me how to win a “Howl like a wolf” contest, she has taught me many a great thing. My ability to get along with people had much of it’s genesis in watching her. I recall, when we were young, we took the public bus many places. In an attempt to keep her curious son from wandering off, or talking to people he shouldn’t, we played games. One of the ones I remember best was doing the vocabulary tests out of the magazine Reader’s Digest. In hindsight, it was a little above my age grade. Due to that, I now have a rather large vocabulary.

We have even met celebrities like Smokey Bear on his 75th birthday! There are many things we do to this day that are quite a lot of fun. A few are listed below. Check out both the fun pictures and the amazing things that we explore together.

We go for many hikes in nature. This not only helps keep us healthy, but satisfies both of our appreciation for all things natural. We explore different parks and forests.

We attend different cultural events together, such at the Octoberfest in the picture above. It is fun learning about different cultures and trying their cuisine.

We do various run/walks for charity. Some of them even include a tasty cream puff at the end. This not only helps us do our best to improve our health, but allows us to help others as we do. Yet another thing that I learned from my mother.

We attend and support different activities in the community. Like a soup crawl in the dead of winter. It takes special convincing to get me out when the temperature is cold. Even if her and Margie did enjoy making bracelets.

Speaking of winter! My mom may be the only person who likes our zoo as much as me. We even attended a winter event that featured many beautiful light displays. We could both go to the zoo every day. It was much to her dismay we were not able to take a picture with the otters on this day.

It may be said that nobody enjoys the Wisconsin State Fair more than I do. My mom does come close and Margie is starting to get there. We go and enjoy trying some of the new foods. (I am telling you mom, you missed out with the gummy bear brat) We always watch the awards they hand out and walk around to look at the art and the gardens.

Over the years we have done many things together. We have went on vacations, went to all of the places above and more! Whether it is exciting locations like these, or just getting together for a nice cup of coffee, we always have a lot to talk about, which might be something else I got from her. So I just wanted to take a special moment and say “Happy Birthday” to my mom. Also, to say “Thank you” for playing a large part in the man that I have become today. I love you so much for all that you do and who you are. I am grateful for the best mom on earth. I hope you have the most amazing day!

WANT TO FEEL YOUNGER? TRY TIME TRAVEL!

Isn’t this a nice idea? Want to be younger? Just go back in time! Look at the picture of a young Neil above. Back then I didn’t have any aches or pains. I didn’t feel like taking a nap at two o’clock in the afternoon. I was certainly more flexible. I know what you are thinking, “Neil, time travel is not possible.” Other than certain celebrities who seem not to age, for the rest of us this may be true. Then again, it might not. There was a study, I apologize for not being able to find the exact information, on a group of elderly individuals. They created a town that mimicked everything from their youth. The movie theater showed movies from when they were young. The music they had playing was from their era. The restaurant had dishes that were popular when they were young. What happened? After a period of time, their telomeres lengthened. Those are the the ends of our chromosomes that indicate our aging. Longer telomeres are related to a more youthful appearance and feeling. The question is, how can we lengthen our telomeres, or at least keep them from getting shorter?

According to this study, surrounding yourself with stuff from your youth will help. This idea occurred to me when I found myself listening to some songs from when I was younger. Not only was I taken back to that period mentally, but it seemed to give me a little extra boost. Same can be said for watching movies, television shows and even commercials from when you were young. Have you ever felt that? You watch a movie, listen to some music or maybe even go to a restaurant that reminds you of your youth and suddenly, you start to feel a little younger? Maybe a little spring in your step or smile on your face? That brings us to a few other things you can do to help maintain, or recapture your youth.

If you search about how to lengthen your telomeres on the internet, it will tell you a diet rich in beans, legumes, nuts and seaweed will help. I don’t know about you, but there is only so much seaweed I can eat in one sitting. There are two other activities that I find more enjoyable than sharing lunch with a manatee. The first is brisk walking. Going for a brisk walk is one of the healthiest things you can do. If you happen to walk in nature, there are even more benefits. Now, we learn it can also help make you younger. I can hear my mom celebrating this news as she is reading it. Here is something else that my mom, myself, and I am sure many of you can celebrate as well. Coffee has also been shown to help with the length of your telomeres. Coffee helps you stay young? I was very happy to read this news. I am sure they do not mean the 40 cups a day the author Voltaire drank. I am guessing he did most of his writing sitting on a porcelain throne. For the rest of us, a cup or two a day just might to the trick to keep us young.

Here is the last secret to regaining your youthful spirit. Do your best to surround yourself with young people. People who can find the joy in life. People who can just act silly. People who are young and young at heart. As you can see, I have one silly lady to call my own. Margie always has a silly comment or action that is only a moment away. Conversely, stay away from people who will make you older. You know the ones. The “whoa is me” people. The ones who are always complaining or telling you how awful the world is. There are certain people that after listening to them, you can end up exhausted. Do your best to stay away from those folks. They could literally be sucking the life out of you. Instead, spend more time with people who will make you laugh. People who will always find the good in others and the world around them. It may save your life. It certainly will extend it.

Time travel itself may be a few years off, but with these tips and tricks we can feel young. This will if not add years to our life, add some life to our years! I would love to hear anything you do that helps you feel more youthful.

STOP AND TAKE A LOOK AROUND 👀

Above is a picture I took of the sunrise just outside of my place of work. Not too crazy about the snow, but that sky was something to behold! The picture doesn’t even do it justice. In today’s world we can be so busy working to get ahead, or sometimes just make it through, that we forget to stop and take a look around. That is what I encourage you to do right now. Seriously, right now, wherever you are, take a look around. What do you see? What is beautiful? What is there that you can be grateful for? There is always something. I leave for work at 4:30 in the morning. It is dark and this time of year, quite cold. Still, being able to watch the sunrise is something beautiful to be grateful for.

Life can be crazy. We all need to stop, if only for a minute or two, and appreciate all of the things that are beautiful and that we can be grateful for in life. As I write this, I am sitting in a warm coffee shop, the sun is shining in and I am able to share this with all of you. From Peru to Sudan, we all have beauty in our lives that could be appreciated. We all have something to be grateful for. Let us take a moment out of our busy lives to acknowledge it.

YOU ARE WHERE YOU ARE BECAUSE OF THIS🤔

Pick a situation in your life. It can be one you are happy with, or one you are not so thrilled with at the moment. Now, here is the fun part – start thinking backwards. The quote above is very true. We are where we are in life because of the choices we have made. This is a good thing. Taking responsibility for where we are gives us control. Many people confuse responsibility for blame. The two are not the same. When you blame someone, or something, for where you are, you give them or it control. When you take responsibility for your life, you assume control over it. What I meant about thinking backwards is looking at the decisions that have taken you to where you are currently, whether that is good or bad.

Even bad situations leave a key to success. Think about what decisions have left you where you are. Maybe you were not disciplined enough in your health and now you find yourself out of shape, or in a healthy crisis. Maybe you didn’t show up for work on time and now you find yourself on probation or looking for work. If you did not act loving and compassionate to your partner, you might be looking for a new valentine. Most people stop here. They might even stick around and beat themselves up over it. This gets us nowhere except feeling bad about ourselves.

Instead, look at how you can make better decisions next time. This is where the difference in blame and responsibility come into play. If you say, “Well, I couldn’t make it into work on time because they kept changing my schedule.” or “If the boss would have been nicer, I would have been more inclined to be there.” How about, “My partner was always nagging me so I snapped.” If you put the blame on others, you are more likely to make the same mistakes next time. Let us face it, finding the perfect schedule, boss or partner is impossible. If we did, they might not keep us around because we are not perfect. We also will feel helpless and not control of your own life. When take responsibility for your own role in your life, you know you can change it. You can show up on time, even if they change your schedule. If your partner does something to irritate you, there are better ways to communicate that and change it. You have control over all of those things.

Harry Truman, one of my favorite presidents, had a sign on his desk that said “The buck stops here.” Meaning, he was in charge of the country, so for good or bad, it was his responsibility. Imagine a politician with that attitude these days! We have been looking at how negative situations can be a great teaching tool, but what about positive ones? We can look at what decisions have helped us arrive there as well. Did we help someone in need and now they have helped us? Maybe we put in the work on a project and now we find ourselves done ahead of time and with a little freedom? We really worked to better ourselves and now we find we have more friends and our spouse is more in love with us than ever! We must look at what positive decisions we made. To take it to another level. See if you can apply these good decisions to an area of your life that may not be working so well. If you have been paying compliments and showing appreciation to your coworkers , but things are not going so good at home, maybe try being a little more attentive there. If you have been doing your 20 squats every day, but you are weeks behind on writing your fourth book (hypothetically) then apply making small efforts every day to that.

Taking responsibility for your lot in life is not blaming yourself. It is taking responsibility and control of your own life. It is using what you can learn from both the good and the bad to make the best out of the life you have left. What decisions have you made that you can learn from?

ONLY 2 WAYS TO LIVE YOUR LIFE ✌️

I ended my third book with this quote. It is an interesting truth. Mr. Einstein was one of the smartest people to grace our planet and I have to admit he came up with a good one here. Going through my surgery and brief flirtation with death did give me a new perception on things. Leading up to the surgery, I think was even more profound. I am going to share this with you in hopes that you will not have to be sawed in two like I was to be able to see everything like a miracle.

How do we begin to see everything as a miracle? We take this bit of advice from another wise soul, Dr. Wayne Dyer. Changing the way we look at things is such a valuable tool that many of us do not use often enough. Let us start with a big one – life. In my book, The Beat Goes On, I share a story about being at the movies with Margie 2 months before my surgery. As we were watching superheroes rid the world of a host of evil villains, it occurred to me that I could be dead a mere 60 days from now. That may sound morbid, and a bit scary, to some of you. It wasn’t to me at the time. What it did serve to do was give me a swift kick in the rear end. Time was ticking. The sand was falling through the hourglass. I looked at Margie and realized that every second ticking by was one less I would have with her. If I only had 2 months, what did I want to tell her? What did I want to do together? How did I want to make her feel? Life had never felt so precious to me. If you want to hear more of this story, I highly suggest checking out my book.

It should be pretty obvious, but just in case it is not, I made it through. It would be tricky to be writing this if I didn’t. What I was left with was not only a really cool scar on my chest, but that sense of urgency. What I realized is that every day, every second is still one less that we get to spend with each other. Not just Margie and I, but everyone in my life. We never know how much sand is in the top of the hourglass, or how much time we have left. All we know is it is less than it was before. When you lay down and night, realize one more day on the planet has ticked by for you. Did you use it well? Were there some things you could have done better? Think of what did go right and the fact that you made it through. Give thanks for that. Really feel that sense of gratitude that your ticket was not punched that day.

When you wake up tomorrow, give a big stretch and be grateful that you made it to another day. Then, realize that the sand is still flowing through the hourglass. How are you going to make the most of this day? Are you going to do something to build your legacy? Are you going to take some time to relax and enjoy the beauty of nature? You could explore the world of a new book. How about telling someone how much you truly love them? Time is ticking. Get every drop out of the juice of life. Live your life as if everything is a miracle, because it really is.

CAN YOU SEE A YELLOW CAR 🚕?

We have discussed this many times before. This is not only the key to the Law of Attraction, there is real science behind it. Using the part of the brain called the reticular activating system, which filters what the brain deems important, makes all of the difference in the world. Anecdotally, we see it when we buy a new car or outfit, and suddenly see many people with the same car or outfit. It is just what your brain decided was important.

If we know this happens with cars and outfits, why do we not take advantage of it for more important things? When I urge people to focus on what they have to be grateful for, or what is positive in their lives, this is the reason why. It is not being ignorant to what may not be going well. Indeed, we can use that to better clarify what it is we do want. What it does do for us is reveal more and more things that we have to be grateful for or that are a positive in our lives. It also works in reverse. Every have a bad day at work and when you come home you notice every little annoying thing that your spouse does? Normally, these wouldn’t even bother you. Perhaps you even snap at them when they don’t deserve it? How about if you have a disagreement with your spouse before work? How is the day at the office going to be that way? Productive? Singing kumbaya with your coworkers? I would imagine not.

Enough doom and gloom here. Let us practice thinking positive! What happens when your partner starts the day by showing you a loving gesture? You go into work and don’t even mind if the boss is yelling all day. You are just looking forward to coming home to more of that loving feeling. Maybe you have a great day and work and a relaxing drive home? Then if your spouse seems to be a little more sunshine challenged than you, it might bother you as much. You might even be able to lift them up as well. Why? You were feeling good.

Take having a good start to the day. Maybe you get a hug from that special someone? Maybe your dog snuggles up to you with a cute look on their face? Maybe you just had the perfect cup of coffee? Whatever it is, you leave the house with a smile on your face. You start to drive to work and notice songs you like on the radio. Oh, and what is that new little place to eat that you have never tried? Wow, the trees sure are a pretty shade of green. This may all sound a bit silly, but it is really how our brain works. The crazy thing is that we leave this up to chance most of the time. I did a video on my YouTube channel a few years ago called “Waking up in neutral” We need to act more in life, and react less. Set a determination to have a good day. Read something positive and inspiring. Recite some empowering affirmations. Have your happy playlist set to go. Whatever it takes. Start your day on a positive note and commit to staying focused on the positive. Life will feel like magic.

BE AS STRONG AS A HOUSE PLANT 🪴

There are lots of things that come to mind when you think of strength. A plant is usually not one, but I am here to set the record straight. House plants, and plants in general, are some of the most adaptive and strong organisms out there. They are able to do many things that are seemingly miraculous and could teach us a great many life lessons. What lessons could we possibly learn from a plant? I am going to answer that question, and you will never look at that potted neighbor of yours the same again.

The first lesson that plants can teach us is how to use just about everything that comes into our life. When the sun shines, the plants turn that sunlight into energy. Based on how I feel during the winter, I might do this as well. What about when it rains? Plants soak up that water and use that as well. They put both of them to work. Both the good and the seemingly bad. In everyone’s life there are moments when a little B.S. seems to come around. You lose a job. You have relationship challenges. Whatever it might be, these are like the manure of life. What do plants do when you cover them with the stuff? They find the good in it they can use and end up stronger for it. In fact, the more manure you cover a plant with, the better it grows! When life gives us a little ‘manure’ we can do the same thing. Find the good, or at least something we can use, and force ourselves to grow.

As I was pondering the amazing aspects of plants, another analogy came to mind. One of the wonderful things plants do for us is an exchange of gas. They take carbon dioxide, a gas that is considered waste, combines it with water and turns those two things into glucose and oxygen, respectively. I am, of course, simplifying the process greatly. In essence, they take a waste gas, do a little rearranging, and release something refreshing that helps other things live! They also use the glucose for fuel to help them survive. This reminded me of the negative gases we all face. I am not talking about being stuck in the elevator with a man who consumed too much Mexican food the night before. No, I am talking about the gossip we hear. It is the negative attitudes we encounter. The people always telling us the sky is falling. If we could take the ‘waste gas’ they expel, combine it with hope and the good that we know is the truth, we could emit something far more healthy. Words of encouragement and praise are like the oxygen for the soul. Being able to turn all of that negativity around and instead speak hope, love and encouragement will make us feel good as well. This is kind of like the glucose the plant uses to help itself grow.

Using both the sunshine and the rain of our lives is not easy. Taking those ‘manure moments’ and using them for growth, also not easy. How about absorbing all of that ‘waste gas’ of gossip, negativity, doom and gloom and tweaking it a little so that we end up releasing hope, love and encouragement? If you think that is easy, you must have never tried it. Here is the simple fact. All of these situations are possible to do. House plants do it all of the time. When they do it well, guess what happens? They grow a lot! When they stop doing them, even for a little while, they begin to die. We could be the same way. Let us put everything to work for us. Let us use it all. The sun, the rain, the manure and the waste gas of life. Let the plants of the world remind us that when you put your environment to work for you, instead of falling victim to it, you will experience a vast amount of growth.

ENJOY THE BALANCE, USE THE BALANCE ⚖️

With the last couple posts about being self-disciplined and driving for becoming a better version of yourself, many people may get the wrong idea. Wanting better for your life, your relationships, and the world we live in, does not mean you are in a constant state of wanting or unfulfillment. Quite the contrary. Gratitude is one of the most powerful motivators. Here is a secret to an amazing life – if you want more to be grateful for, work your butt off. It is a tricky balance. Like the photo above says, “Be happy with what you have, while working for what you want.” I would replace the word happy with the world grateful but the idea is the same. Are you grateful you have that special loving person in your life? Good. Feel grateful, but be self-disciplined enough to continue to work on making that relationship healthier and more loving and you will always have something to be grateful for. Are you happy your healthy? Good for you. Appreciate your health. It is one of the most underrated forms of wealth. Guess what happens if you don’t continue to push to maintain and improve your health? You lose it. The same holds true for your relationship, your job and any other area of your life.

Spend some time, first thing in the morning always works well, to feel and express gratitude for what you have in life. Spend the rest of the day working to make it better. There is nothing in our life that maintains if we do not continue to work on it. Our fitness, our mental health, our relationships and even the plants in my house. Do some soul searching. What in your life are you most grateful for or happiest with? What do you think would happen if you just ignored that area of your life? I can promise you it would not get any better and in all likelihood, it would begin to break down. While you are working on improving any area of your life, thinking of how grateful you are for it can be a great motivating factor as well. Imagine your life without it. That will keep you working to improve it. What areas of your life are you most grateful for? How do you plan to improve them?

WHAT MAKES A GREAT RELATIONSHIP? TOOTHBRUSH COVERS!🪥

This is one of those post titles that sounds absolutely ridiculous, but if you stick with me, I believe you will appreciate the wisdom. Love can be a crazy and difficult thing at times. Doing your best to make sure your partner is happy and satisfied could, and should be, a full-time job. Put that responsibility on top of your job and you can feel worn out on occasion. In many cases, we use certain opportunities to wow the love of our life with some meaningful gift. Maybe jewelry, flowers, a new car or some other grand gesture. These are all well and good, but I do not believe they are completely necessary and often miss the boat when it comes to what love is truly about.

We often few love like we do these grand gifts. We see the romantic movies and have read the fairytales. We look for kings, queens, castles, and someone to come sweep us off our feet. Like love is either this grand thing, or it is nothing. Not only is that not realistic, but it is not sustainable. Yes, love can do amazing things, and yes, love can make you feel like royalty. Those moments are great, but they are the exception to the rule. What is love truly about? It is about toothbrush covers. What the heck does this even mean? Love is about being for someone day in and day out. It is about taking out the garbage when you are already tired from work. It is about taking time to listen to your partner’s day when you barely have energy to get through yours.

What does any of this have to do with toothbrush holders? It is those gently daily reminders that someone loves you that mean the most. We can often take them for granted. While diamond jewelry is certainly able to blow us away with romantic feelings, how often will we wear that necklace? How often does it get taken out and appreciated? I am going to share a little personal story about a gift that my love lady, Margie, got for me. One day she came home excited from the store and exclaimed, “I got us toothbrush covers!” Seeing the appreciative, although less excited, look on my face, she went on to explain. “You know all of the germs flying around your bathroom and how they can get on your toothbrush.” I must confess this is something she is far more concerned with than I am. Still, I thanked her and put the little device on my toothbrush. Months later, I happen to be brushing my teeth (I brush them everyday, this thought just took months to occur) when I took a second to look at that silly toothbrush cover. I thought about how concerned she had been about the germs we might get on our toothbrush and how excited she was to have found, and purchased a solution. In her way, she was showing how much she loved me. Every tooth brushing (Which I must again stress happens twice a day) I think about how much she cares and loves me and it is because of that toothbrush cover.

Gifts do not have to be large. If we look behind them, we can see that some of the greatest love is given in some of the smallest gifts. Twice a day I am reminded that my lady loves and cares about my health. You might not view a toothbrush cover as romantic, but that would be your loss. Perception drives performance. How I perceive that gift of the toothbrush holder makes me feel loved and cared for. When I feel that way, guess how I treat the lady who gave it to me? With love and appreciation.

BUILD SLOWLY 🐌

A while back we talked about this blog being viewed in all but roughly 6 or 8 countries of the world. Some have political barriers that will not allow us to be viewed there. Others, like Greenland, are not so populated and may take some time to reach. I have been writing these posts for over 10 years now. (Has it really been that long?!) Sharing my journey and everything I have learned with all of you. Last year, I started my own podcast. You can connect to it by clicking the link at the end of this post. As of the writing of this post, it is followed in 6 countries. Quite the opposite of this blog. Still, I have only recording episodes for 5 or 6 months verses the 10 years of writing blogs.

While building an audience for this blog, I was reminded of lessons I give my life-coaching clients – build slowly. It is easier to add small positive steps in the right direction than to do a dramatic change in your direction. The same holds true for changes we wish to make in our life. If we have spent months on the couch eating pizza and watching movies, than going to the gym 5 days a week would be a stretch we may find it difficult to maintain. However, going for a walk after dinner, parking a little further away at the store to get a few more steps or simply finding a physical activity we enjoy helps us get started on the right path. I love the picture above because it shows little ways to get started doing big things. You want to begin a practice of meditation? Start by taking a deep breath before a sip of coffee. Want to journal, but find it difficult to sit down and write? Talk to yourself in the car. Not only will it get you in the practice of verbalizing your thoughts and feelings, as a bonus it will freak out the other drivers around you.

It any endeavor we embark on, doing so beginning slowly will give us the best chance to maintain these healthy habits. Want to cut down on your drinking? Start by consuming more healthy beverages such as iced herbal tea, (there are some delicious and functional options), green tea or of course, water. Want to cut down on your internet viewing? Try scheduling a fun coffee appointment with friends once a week. Would you like to know a secret to accomplishing goals and changing to a healthier lifestyle easier and with less stress? I am sure all of us would. Here is something I have discovered. It is far easier to add positive things in your life than to solely focus on eliminating something negative. When you focus on eliminating something negative, your brain encompasses a feeling of less, sacrifice or being deprived. “You mean I can’t eat all of the pizza I want and still lose that belly I have been carrying around?” If you focus on adding something healthier your brain either has a feeling of getting healthier at best, or at least does not have the feeling of lack at worst. “Wow, this veggie chili not only tastes good, but is good for me?”

In closing, focus on building slowly and sustainably. Little wins and accomplishments will help you gain and keep momentum as you are moving in the direction of a more amazing life. Focusing on quality changes instead of quantity also increases success. Instead of trying to go for a run, followed by the gym, followed by a yoga class, focus on doing 2 sets of 10 squats every day with perfect form. You will gain the momentum of sticking with a healthy habit. Soon, you will notice a difference, and that will not only help you gain further momentum, but may motivate you to add other positive changes. Build slowly, but keep building my friends.

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