This blog post title comes with a caveat. If what feels good to you causes harm to yourself or others, than by all means, do NOT do it. I will not be responsible for you trying some ridiculous Tik Tok challenge. What I can tell you, is that if you find something in your life that feeds your soul, do it and do it often. In life, we are all to often asked, or required, to do things that drain our spirit and our soul. That could be a job that we do not relish. It could be coworkers that are less than inspiring.
This is a picture of my beautiful love, Margie, and I at the Wisconsin State Fair. Almost 20 years ago, I decided that was one of my favorite places to be. Since being with Margie, it has turned into two of my favorite places to be. The Wisconsin State Fair and with her. I enjoy the food, the garden and art tours throughout the grounds, dancing in the sand at the reggae bar and all of the kitchen gadgets that Margie and I purchase that we do not need. It runs 11 days in early August. On a fine day in 1996, I decided if I liked it so much, why don’t I attend it all 11 days? I have done so every year since. I go with different people and always have a great time. Some of my friends like the bands. Some of them like the food. Some like shopping and I hope they all like spending a day with yours truly.
A few years ago I even purchased a personalized brick to be placed at the fair. It not only went to support the event, but celebrated my favorite person to attend with. It has become an added bonus to look at when we are there. Creating memories with friends, family and of course Margie, is something I look forward to all year long. By the time you read this, we will have attended the first day with my mother. We have plans with good friends Faith, CJ, Nicci, Chris, Heidi and others. Each one will be a sharing of happiness, friendship and love for life.
If there is something in your life that brings joy to your spirit and soul, celebrate it as often as you can. Life will certainly throw challenges your way. It is always good to have something ready to lift your spirit. Why not? We all deserve that inner joy and sense of well-being. I look forward to hearing what brings joy to that beautiful heart of yours.
There are simple things that we can use to have a transformative effect on our lives. In my first two books, I mention the power of talismans. When most people hear that word, they think of an inscribed ring or stone that has magical powers. In fact, that is how the definition reads online. We are not talking about anything occult, but the way in can affect your life will seem like magic. As with everything I share, I can relate to you from personal experience. I am going to show you how simple it can be to cultivate inner peace by looking at the end of your wrist.
Above is a picture of a bracelet I purchased from an amazing young lady who turned her own personal struggles into a way to help and serve others. Her name is Pamela and she is the owner of At Peace Designs. A link to her amazing website will be found at the end of this post. I met Pamela at a local event called ‘West Allis A La Carte’ where I live. I noticed her stand and was drawn to it for the simple, yet powerful, message. The engaging owner came up and shared with Margie and I her story and what took her on the path to create the business. This included a great story about a tattoo on vacation, but I will let her share that one with you personally.
What makes Pamela’s products so great is that they provide us a simple reminder to put an accent on maintaining our inner peace. For me, all I have to do is look at the end of my wrist. She also has coffee mugs, yoga mats, stickers and my personal favorite – gratitude journals! She has many other products that feature her amazing logo as well. In a world where chaos and stress are everywhere we look, what a great advantage to have a simple reminder to focus on our inner peace. I highly suggest you take a look at Pamela’s amazing website at the link below and pick up your At Peace Designs before stress and fear gain any more ground in your life. Do you know someone who could use a little more peace? They make great gifts as well.
I mentioned the book I am currently reading in an earlier post. Where I cannot assume you read that post, the title of the book is Happiness is a Choice you Make by John Leland. It was recommended to me by a dear lady whom I had met at a graduation party. She was someone whom I had never met, but we conversed the whole time I was there like old friends. I am hoping I have the opportunity to thank her for such a great recommendation. The book covers 6 of the ‘oldest old’. That is to say people who are above the age of 87. Which I learned, is one of the fastest growing demographics in the United States.
In the section I am currently reading, the author is talking with a couple who are in their 90s. They found each other at the nursing home where they both live. The dynamics of their relationship is so fascinating to me. One of the aspects that makes it work is a great secret that all of us could use in our own relationships. This secret works not only in romantic relationships, but friendships, business relationships or relationships of any kind. If you don’t manage this secret properly, it can lead to what poisons a great deal of relationships. If you do learn, and are able to master this, it will give your relationship an advantage others simply don’t have. Both parties will feel happier and more confident with the relationship.
That is what we do here at Secret2anamazinglife.com. We teach you secrets to have an amazing life. One of the biggest factors of the quality of life is the quality of your relationships. Learning how to improve them has a positive impact on every area of your life. What is the secret the couple in the book practice that we all could put into use in our own lives? Learning to not only give, but receive. That second part especially. Independent people often want to do everything themselves. This is not necessarily a bad trait. When you are in a relationship, it can leave the other party feeling both a little unneeded and unwanted. If someone offers to say, get you a cup of coffee, and you always reply “I can do it myself.” It will not only leave the other party feeling as though they lost an opportunity to do something for you, but done long enough, they may stop offering all together.
This is a tricky balance. We often to want to feel like a burden to our partner or friend, but we certainly want to give them an opportunity to feel as though they did something for us. Think if the roles were reversed. How would you feel if you were able to do something that would either help, or bring joy, to your partner or friend? You would feel good I would imagine. Why would you deny that good feeling to someone else? Have you ever looked at it this way? It may seem that one party is taking and one is giving in this equation. The truth is, they are both giving. One, the act of service. The other, the opportunity to provide that service. If you follow this up with appreciation, you actually get to give twice by receiving. How crazy is that? The other party feels good that they were able to do something for you, and they feel good that you let them know you appreciate what they did.
The picture above is me and my silly lady. We practice this secret daily. It is not always easy as we both love to do things for each other. We must remember that we like the other party to feel needed and appreciated. In fact, we love appreciating each other. One of the worst things you can do in a relationship is ‘keep score’. The thought that “Hey! I do a lot more for them than they do for me!” is poison to a relationship. You are actually providing them an opportunity to appreciate you and they are providing an opportunity to feel that you matter and serve a purpose in the relationship. Appreciation for your partner and all that they do is key in this equation. It is true that you never want to feel useless, or that you don’t serve a purpose in a relationship. You also never want to feel taken for granted.
Let your partner know that you appreciate everything they do for you. Give them an opportunity to do things for you, even if you can do it for yourself. This is not only a secret to an amazing relationship, but to an amazing life.
“Life has no meaning, life is an opportunity to create a meaning.” That is powerful stuff. Have you ever asked yourself, “What is it all for?” I am sure at some point in our lives, we have all asked that question. The ironic part is most of the time we ask it of others. Whether that be directly, as in asking a person what the meaning of life is, or searching for meaning in books, seminars and even blog posts and YouTube videos. The truth is the meaning of life is whatever we decide to make it.
That may seem a little scary to some of us. You mean there is no right answer written down somewhere? No book that will provide us the answers? No. What the meaning of our life is depends on what we decide we want it to be. Once we make that decision, there is a wealth of information to assist us in our endeavors. The secret is to not only decide on an empowering meaning for our life, but one that we are committed to emotionally.
In my own life, I decided the meaning of my life was to help others live a more positive and rewarding life using the tools and strategies I learned and have continued to learn. I do that by not only posting this blogs, but with my books, my YouTube videos and my Living the Dream with Neil Panosian podcast. The meaning of your life may be to bring joy and comfort to people through the creation of a special cake. It may be to pass along the healing power of creating art. It could be to be a good example to your children. It could be to correct social injustice. None of these are more noble than any other. In order to live a great life, you do not have to do great things, you just have to do everything with a great love.
Recently, Margie set up a coffee date with another couple. She has a knack for picking some good people. In the course of a very inspiring conversation, my new friend and teacher, CJ, said something I think will impact us all. What he said was not only profound, but will add to our lives. It is something we should all wake up to that will positively impact our lives.
We were discussing perspective and how it drives performance. He relayed something he had heard that he uses to help keep his life in proper perspective. Enough with the build up. What was it that CJ said that I think will be so impactful for us all? It was this simple question. “If you would only wake up with only what you were grateful for the night before, how much would you wake up with?” When I heard this, it struck me. How about you? When you think about all of the blessings we have that we do not take the time to stop and be grateful for, how many do they number? I don’t know about you, but they are near countless for me.
Let us look at a few quick examples to help drive the point home. There is, of course, the love of my life, Margie. There are times when we are not seeing eye to eye. We do our best to never go to bed that way, but sometimes it happens. When you and your special someone go to sleep, whether you are getting along or not, do you pause and take a moment to be grateful for them? We are talking about focused gratitude. What if you were to wake up and they were gone forever? How about throughout the course of a day? Margie gives me plenty of reasons to be grateful. Whether that is sending me silly messages about rockets while I am busy at work, or having a delicious home-cooked meal to come home to, there are always reasons to be grateful for. Because they happen so often, I have to be careful not to take them for granted.
The person you love is an easy example. There are others. What about where you live? It could not be in the neighborhood you desire. Your house could need lots of work, or maybe your rent or mortgage eats up most of your paycheck. It is easy to complain about those things, but what if you woke up homeless tomorrow? How about work? That’s a good one. Work is easy to complain about it. I am as guilty as anyone when it comes to that. Waking up early, time away from family, crazy bosses and coworkers. There are a million things to complain about. What if they told you tomorrow you were out of a job? Suddenly, all of those things you were complaining about you would be grateful to have in your life.
Ask yourself this question, “If you were to wake up with only the things you were grateful for the night before, what would you wake up with?” I think that is a powerful question that can not only change our perspective, but help us live a life filled with more gratitude and a lot less lack. I know that I am going to put this question to use in my life. How about you? Once again, shout out to CJ and Faith for a great time over coffee.
There have been many crazy titles I have featured in past posts, but this one might take the cake. I will explain why investing in a goose will radically change your life for the better in just a moment. Before we get to our support of our avian friend, I would like to share with you how I came to this information. That, in a nutshell, will be an example of my investment in my own goose. It involves a step that I recommend to everyone looking to make a positive shift. That is to read, or listen, to one self-improvement thing a day. A lot of people shake their heads and ask, “Do I really have to do that every day?” My answer is that you certainly do not have to do it at all, but then how bad to you want to live a positive and rewarding life?
On this fine morning, I found myself taking in a video by Earl Nightingale on my daily commute to the post office. It was using the time I was doing a different activity anyway. You could put in earbuds and listen as you make your way through the grocery store. You can listen while you are at the gym. Regardless of when you choose to listen, there is always time if you choose to make it. Back to our dear friend Earl and the video I was listening to on this day. In the video, Earl shared a conversation between a friend of his and his 16 year old son. It is this message that I would like to share with you today and I believe will positively affect all of our lives, mine included.
As this man sat down for a chat with his son, he brought a pen and a paper to better illustrate the point he was about to make. The son watched with interest as the man began to draw upon the paper. He drew a fairly decent picture of a goose and behind it he drew 3 eggs. “These are golden eggs, and this is the goose that lays them.” The man explained. He asked the son if he had a chance to buy one or the other which he would purchase. “I would buy the goose of course. Anyone would.” the son replied. “Yes, anyone would if they were presented it this way.” the father replied. He went on to explain that the eggs and goose were metaphorical. The golden eggs stood for the luxuries that people invest in. Their homes, vacations, new cars and things like that. “What is wrong with that?” the son inquired. The father went on to explain there was nothing wrong with that. The problem is that people tend to invest in eggs exclusively.
At this point, you may be wondering what the goose is. So was I. The goose is the bread winner, the person working to afford all of these wonderful items. The more you invest in them, the more golden eggs they will be able to provide. Take yourself for example. You go to work everyday and put in a quality work day. In doing so, you are investing in golden eggs. You can use that money to pay bills, save up for a new car or that exotic trip to Fiji. What about spending time learning about the business you are in? Spend more time on work related issues, even when I am not getting paid? No thank you. This is an understandable feeling. You just spent 8 hours a day, more if you consider the commute. Why would you want to spend even more learning? Think of who stands the best chance for a promotion. Would it be the person who puts in time, or the person who puts in effort and has the most knowledge?
Maybe your goal is not to get a promotion? You could be looking to start your own business. It could be nothing to do with your career at all. You could be looking to live with a greater sense of inner peace. How about learning a new skill? You could desire to be more attractive to your partner, or to attract a new partner. Investing in you will assure that you will be able to be the golden goose and lay more and bigger golden eggs in the future. I may even get a golden goose statue to remind me of this good story.
Whether it is learning any of the skills we mentioned, or simply listening to some self-improvement audio, ask yourself if you are investing in your golden goose daily, or are you just buying golden eggs? This same thought pattern can be applied to fitness. Adopting a healthy lifestyle is one great way to invest in the golden goose. You surely can’t lay golden eggs if you are sick and have no energy. Ask yourself how many of your actions are towards buying golden eggs and how many are for the golden goose?
Recently, Margie and I attended a wonderful graduation party. I did not know anyone there. As we took our seats, I found myself next to a woman who was several years my senior. She began to talk openly with me from the very first second. Not only was she one of the sweetest souls I have encountered, we discovered many things we had in common. We both enjoyed the Wisconsin State Fair immensely. We also both enjoy reading and began to share some of our favorite books. As so often happens, this took us to sharing our philosophy on life. We came to many common conclusions. One, more than the rest, seemed to stand out to me and I would like to share it with you today.
There are a few things in life, that when we pay proper attention to them, can impact nearly every area of our life. With just one simple tweak to these areas, we can radically transform how we experience our time on this planet. One that I think everyone may overlook, or that the very least take for granted, is our perception. What I mean by that is the meaning we give every situation in life. Inky Johnson, one of my favorite speakers, puts it this way, “Perception drives performance every day of the week.” meaning how you view what you do, will determine how you do what you do. Feel free to slowly read that last line again. This may be hard to follow and even harder to believe, but I am going to give you a few examples that really drive the point home.
One of the books we both thought had a powerful impact on our lives was this one. Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. Viktor was a phycologist who was a prisoner in a concentration camp during World War II. To read what this man went through is enough to break your heart. How he managed to make it through was by finding a positive purpose in that journey and immersing himself in it. When I reach a challenging point in my life, I think of a man who was able to make it through one of the most hellish circumstances that a man can be put through. If he could make it through that, how am I to complain about car trouble, or not seeing eye to eye with a friend. Yes, those both can be frustrating situations, but when compared to surviving a death camp, it feels a little foolish to become to upset about them.
I mentioned Inky Johnson earlier. Inky was a football player who was only games away from being drafted into the National Football League. During that game, he made a tackle and through no fault of anyone, lost use of his right arm and hand. He was planning to help his family put and end to generational poverty but was now facing a dilemma of how he could support himself, much less anyone else. To have a dream you have chased since you were 7 years old crushed right before it was about to happen would be soul-crushing enough. To have it happen right after you inform your family you are going to be able to lift them out of a state of poverty would be more than most of us could handle.
Through his faith, Inky understood that he was being redirected. He is now one of the top motivational speakers in the world, and as you can see in the photo above, an author as well. He not only has earned a fair sum and has a career that will outlast any he may have had on the football field, he has also changed and positively impacted countless lives. This is a reward he would not have had if he had not been injured and, more to the point, if he had given up. His accent on why he did what he did, allowed him to continue to push forward and not give up. His perception did truly drive his performance.
What we believe about life and how we view life, will go a long way in determining how we live our life. If we view every obstacle as proof our life was not meant to succeed, then that is what shall be. We will live feeling defeated and beaten down. If we view them as life providing us opportunities to grow stronger, then we will feel as if we are growing with each obstacle we face. The same thing can be said for ‘Failure’. Some of us may view it as a defeat. Others may view it as a stepping stone to success. You can imagine both viewpoints would lead to not only a different emotional state, but different actions being taken. I suggest you not only get your hands on a copy of Viktor Frankl’s book, but take a hard look at your perception of life and how it is impacting the way you live.
This past Saturday evening, Margie and I went to enjoy Greek Fest. It is an event celebrating the Greek culture. We love the food, music and crafts sold there. On the way into the festival we found this doll face down in the gutter. Perhaps it was an omen of things to come. As we were standing in line to get into the festival we were behind a young man, no older than 16, wearing a shirt that had the quote, “No gun, no fun”. I found this very dispiriting. Considering the rise in violent crime and mass shootings in our nation, I would not allow my child to wear such a shirt and spread such a message.
My mother phoned us and informed us that she was deciding to join us. This was great as there would be another person to split the food with. We got in line and as Margie put it to the lady taking our order, “We will have one of everything.” This included such items as stuffed grape leaves and flaming cheese. As we sat down with our many dishes set to enjoy, chaos erupted. People began running and screaming. Suddenly, a voice came over the PA system announcing they were shutting the festival down. Apparently, a disagreement turned violent somewhere in the midway. I am not sure if the young man mentioned earlier was involved, but I would not have been surprised.
We grabbed our food and headed outside of the festival grounds. Not too far is a small park where we sat on a bench and enjoyed our food, which was now a great deal cooler, and talked about what had just happened. It is a shame that disagreements turn so quickly to violence these days. I do not pretend to have all of the answers, but I can think of some. As we were leaving the park we witnessed a mother dragging her young son by the arm yelling words at him that would make a sailor blush. At one point even telling him that nobody would want him because he was ugly. I could not help but wonder if this is where the problems all start. We need to raise our children in an environment that includes respectful discipline as well as compassion for others.
Some of you may conclude that this is how the world is trending. You may shake your head and think that a few are ruining it for all of us. In some ways I would be inclined to agree with you. Before we draw any conclusions, let me share with you the second half of our evening. My mother somehow managed to convince the overly tired Margie that she might want to walk through a local park. In our leisurely stroll, I found many of these painted rocks. This is an idea that really took off a few years ago. People paint rocks, often add inspiring messages, and hide them throughout the city. There is a local Facebook group where you share a picture of the ones you find and hide. We found many this night and were reminded of the neighbors who use this fun and creative way to bring a community together.
Through the use of social media, a tool that often drives us apart, this group has found a way to connect us. Through the colorful painting of the rocks and especially the inspiring messages some contain, neighbors have found a way to bring joy to others. In a world that can often be found splitting apart at the seems, there are signs of healing and growth. It reminds me of a flower growing in the concrete. There are always reasons to find hope.
The sad events at the festival will hopefully spur some action to toughen laws and put the accent back on what happens at home. The example of finding the rocks in the park shows us there are many good, caring souls out there as well. As I lay in bed falling asleep that night, I could not help but thinking of something I heard Tony Robbins say many times, “What is wrong is always available, but so is what is right.” Yes, there was a negative event that happened in the city. If that is all we chose to focus on, we may draw a number of conclusions. Yet, throw a fun and neighborly hobby done by folks from the ages of 4 to 84, we can see and feel a sign of hope. One solution is to promote and participate in events that bring our communities closer. Thank you to all of the member of the West Allis Rocks Facebook page. You brought light to a dark day.
A few posts back we stressed starting more positive conversations both online and in person. We put forth that sharing with each other why we love one another, or at the very least, what we find admirable, would be a great start. Considering that randomly asking people, “What do you like best about me?” Can be difficult for some people. Not me, but then again I am not like most people. I have come up with another question I am going to both ask you, my readers, and suggest you do the same through your social media and in your personal conversations. I am going to share my answers with you in this post, and I would love to read yours in the comments below.
The question is a two-part one, but a simple one. Who was your favorite teacher you have had and what did they bring to your life? Margie and I shared our answers with each other last night over dinner. It was funny how each of us was affected by different teachers for entirely different reasons. It was also nice reflecting on people who have made a positive impact on our lives. I also learned some things about my beautiful lady and what really touches her and what she values in people. A pleasant side-effect to this conversation.
Now for my answers. My favorite teachers inspired me in many different ways. There were no Cameron Diaz Bad Teacher, type moments. No, my teachers inspired me in both positive and negative ways. Some of these happened in the moment, some happened in reflection. Let us start when I was young. Shall we?
One of the first teachers I remember having a fond interaction with was in my 3rd grade class. This teacher was big on having us write stories. She was constantly complimenting me on my ability to write a good fictional story. She even kept some of mine as examples to use in the future. This was very helpful to boost a young man’s self-esteem. It shall be noted, however, that out of my 3 published books, none are fiction. The second teacher from when I was young was my 5th grade teacher. She was big into reading to us. Something that Margie remembered about one of her teachers as well. One day she lost her voice and guess who she picked to read to the class? Yep, yours truly. For 2 whole days I stood in front of the class and read a book called Owls in the Family. The class was ruthless in their review. Although I was able to read quite well, I was not the teacher, who had read the book several times and did different inflections for each character. It was one of my first experiences in public speaking. It also turned out to be my first experience in being heckled. Good to get both of those out of the way when we are young.
There was only one teacher in middle school that I recall having an impact on me. Her name was Ms. Bede. She taught both business management and short-hand. Two subjects I was fairly certain I would not need in my future endeavors. Although in hindsight, the first might have been a little helpful. She was a sweet little lady. Reminded you of someone’s grandma. For that reason alone, I think she had everyone’s respect. What I enjoyed about her is that she really seemed to care. She was constantly on my case about paying better attention. After assuring her I had no desire to be a court reporter so I had limited use for short hand in my life, she gave me words of wisdom I remember to this day. “Young man, I suggest you pay less attention to socializing with the young ladies and more to your homework. Do you think in the future people will be paid to just talk about themselves?” I wonder if Ms. Bede has ever watched the Kardashians?
In high school, I had several teachers who made an impact on me. First one I recall was my physics teacher, Mr. Velk. When asked why we should pay attention to physics, his answer made sense to me. “Let us suppose you are on a roof on a windy day and want to throw a rock and hit someone in the head with it. Wouldn’t you like to know what angle and how hard you would have to throw it?” Not exactly the most noble of pursuits, but it taught me to find the practical application for whatever I was learning. There was also my history teacher, Mr. Hein. His passionate zeal for the subject, and often colorful and racially insensitive language, really made history come alive. The teacher the year before had just repeated dates and facts in a monotone. He also had really bad breath.
That leads us to my final example. My senior year teacher in the subject of English. We often butted heads. I could not understand how knowing what a dangling participle was, and how many levels the story Paradise Lost was told on, could improve my chances for a better life. To this end, it was questionable as to whether or not I would pass this class, and thus graduate school itself. It was what she said to me on the final day of school that, upon reflection years later, would impact me. After signing some generic thing in my yearbook, she looked me right in the eye and told me, “I pray to God you will never have a career in writing.” In her defense, I would have told that version of myself much the same thing. Still, 3 books and almost 2000 blog posts later, here we are. Never let anyone, even an authority figure, tell you what you can or cannot do.
The point here is that there are no bad teachers. I view teaching, just below being a parent in the field of noble careers. To be able to impact the lives of young people is something I respect and admire very much. There were many great teachers that I have had in my life time. I have touched on just a few and only stuck to the field of professional teachers. Yet, if we are honest with ourselves, doesn’t everyone have the opportunity to teach us something? I would love to hear about teachers who have made the most positive impact in your life.
In this crazy, fast-paced world of ours, everyone seems to be working to get ahead. Does that sound like you? Have you ever found yourself working until you are exhausted? After that have you wondered to yourself, or maybe even out loud, if it is all worth it? Perhaps you even questioned what it is all for? Do not worry. You are not alone. Those can be powerful questions to ask ourselves, if we use them correctly. Still, there is one question that we should all be asking ourselves that would not only reduce those feelings of stress, worry and burnout, but help us feel refreshed, driven and accomplished.
What is that question? I call it the Million Dollar Question. The reason that I call it that, is because the benefit it has to our life is priceless. I have spoken about this in one of my YouTube Videos, and even dedicated a section to it in my book, Living the Dream. We took a look deeper into it on my podcast, Living the Dream with Neil Panosian. While I recommend you check out all of those, I will even post a link for the podcast episode at the bottom of this post, I am going to make it even simpler for you. I do this for 2 reasons. The first one should be obvious. We began this post by talking about how busy everyone is. What better way to help us live a positive rewarding life, than taking a complex idea and shortening it down to one question. The second reason is that a lot of people, my mother being one of them, had a problem with the way the idea was presented.
The video, the section in the book and the podcast episode advocated writing your own eulogy. It struck a lot of people as too morbid. Personally, I think it was a very healthy, albeit sobering, idea. We are all going to have a eulogy about us when we die. They are complex and difficult things to write. Trust me, I have given 5 of them in my life already. The purpose of the exercise was two-fold. One, it reminded us how fleeting life could be. I have already died once, and I am only 47. Good thing I came back because I didn’t have a good draft done yet. The point is, we never know when life may take us. The other point is the one we are going to address today. That is, what we will leave behind. I am not talking about material possesions, but the lessons. How will we have made people feel? Will we have done anything to help the greater good of our family, our community or the greater good?
I can imagine reading that and thinking, “Neil that is great, but it sounds like several questions to me.” You would be correct. We can simplify all of this down to one question you should ask yourself whenever you are feeling lost, do not know which way to go or even feeling burnt out. What is that question? I was beginning to wonder if we would ever get to it myself. The Million Dollar Question, as I call it, is this – What do I want to be remembered for? This may be a little less emotionally triggering than writing a eulogy. It is surely something that can be answered in the moment when we are facing making a difficult decision.
I suggest using this question in 2 ways. First, sit down with a pen and paper and give yourself some time to think. Write down many things that you want to be remembered for. Think of every area in your life. What kind of worker do you want to be remembered as? What kind of friend do you want to have a reputation of being? How about to the people who matter most, your family? How will they remember you. Write as much down as you can. There are no right or wrong answers. Then keep that paper somewhere safe. I suggest looking at it once a week at least. Perhaps on Monday to focus the week. Friday would be a good day to reflect and see if your actions the previous week would lead to you being remembered as you want to be.
The second way to use this is to ask yourself this question throughout the day. It will help guide your actions to be the person you want to be. Ask yourself when facing a difficult decision. Knowing who you want to be may help you make the correct, and sometimes difficult, decision. Maybe even write it down on an index card and carry it with you. Set it as an alarm on your phone to remind you to think of it at least once a day. How about you? Who do you want to be remembered as? I cannot wait to hear your answer.
