One of the best ways to develop your character is to treat people in ways that reflect it. If you want to be someone who is considered generous, make sure to be giving to others. This can be in many ways such as your time, your energy or your understanding. If you want to be someone known for their compassion, treat people not as they deserve, but better than they deserve. Try to understand why someone acts out of pain and frustration rather than just looking at their actions. All of these can be tricky, but remember how you act is a reflection of who you are.
One of the most important things to remember in life is that we cannot control what happens to us, but we have complete control to how we react. That is where our power is. If we are just a slave to our emotions, we give that power up. If that is where you find yourself currently, you can regain that power. It takes effort and practice, but it is worth it. Not allowing circumstances to determine our emotional state is one of the secrets to an amazing life. Just keep in mind that we should treat people how we are, not how they are or because of what they can get us. How do your actions and the way you treat people reflect who you are?
When I saw this quote, I had to pause and give it some thought. In my second book, Living the Dream, I have an entire section on the 3 levels in which we live our lives and how they effect each other. Certainly a good read. When I wrote that, I was just beginning to learn about that aspect of life. Years later, as I write this post, I can see it in operation. That is why I would like to take a moment to talk about these STDs – spiritually transmitted diseases. They are even more harmful than we might think.
In today’s society, it seems there is very little mention or discussion of the spirit. This is a shame, because in my opinion, it is not only what makes us human, but is one third of who we are. When our spirit is sick, it affects every aspect of our lives. When we are feeling spiritually drained, our ability to concentrate and think clearly is all but nonexistent. When our heart is hurting our energy levels plummet, our immune system tanks and physically we are no good. In other words, when we have a STD, spiritually transmitted disease, it affects our physical and mental well-being too.
Last post we discussed the importance of self-care and what it can help you bring to others. If you missed that post, I encourage you to go back and give it a look. It is obvious that we really need to practice some spiritual self-care. We need to keep our spirit healthy and make sure we do not catch an STD. Try to eliminate or limit your exposure to those things that contaminate your spirit. Make sure to take time to do those things that strengthen your spirit and fill your soul. Take time to practice your faith, whatever that may be. Help others. That always makes the soul feel good. Try some of the items listed above. What are some of the things that you do to strengthen your spiritual well-being? Please share with the rest of us so that we may all have a strong spirit and be STD free.
It is shocking that even in this day and age, self-care is considered selfish by many. This could not be further from the truth. There are many reasons why this is so, but we are going to look at two that I think we should consider. The first should be rather obvious. When you work on healing yourself, be that from a personal trauma, or just from the stress of daily life, you allow your best self to shine through. Why is this so important? You then become the best version of yourself. This is one of the greatest gifts you can give to others. Showing up to meet your friend for coffee when you are lacking sleep, barely able to concentrate on what they are saying and falling asleep when they are talking is not that great of a gift. Sure, it is great that you are spending time with them, but it is not quality time. Now, saying, “I am sorry I need to get some rest. How about meeting next week?” may seem selfish. If you show up next week and are able to not only to stay awake for their story about sick aunt Agnes, but offer valuable insight on their story as well, that is a far greater gift.
Bringing your best self to any situation is a great gift. It means you are being the best parent, the best friend and the best lover. Taking the time to heal and make sure you are able to share your gifts with those around you is not selfish at all. In fact, by taking the time to bring your best self, you are giving them a gift. You are giving them the best of you that you can.
The second reason that self-care is not selfish may be even more important. The knowledge you gain and are able to share. When you discover ways to heal yourself, you can pass those ways on to others. Maybe you are really busy and live a stressful life. You find ways to balance that stress and not get overwhelmed. How do you do that? Do you think there are other people who would like to know how to do that as well? I bet there are. Have you found a way to heal your soul after losing someone very close to you? Taking that time, and engaging in those practices, will allow you to help someone else heal too. That is one of the best things we can put out into the universe, to help others heal. If you rush through life, do not take time to heal yourself, it will not only cost you, but it will cost others. You will show up as only a shell of yourself. You will not learn any healing methods that work for you and may help others. To me, this is far more selfish than taking time for yourself.
Take time for that meditation or yoga retreat. If you need to say “No”, than do it. Taking care of yourself is not selfish. It is actually one of the greatest gifts you can give to those around you and the world itself. Taking care of ourselves will allow us to share the best of who we are and every healing modality we learn. Self-care is not only care for ourselves, but it is one of the best things we can do to care for others.
Midweek! How are we doing on not only taking care of ourselves, but those around us? Just a quick reminder that it takes very little of your energy to be compassionate and encouraging to yourself and others. That little amount of energy can have a great impact on the quality of someone else’s day, but yours as well. As a bonus, the energy we expend is returned to us with the joy we bring to others.
What small thing do you plan on doing for those in your life? One little thing to encourage or inspire someone? Please share with the rest of us!😀
Every morning, there is something to celebrate. There is some win in our lives. It is important to recognize and celebrate this win. This is not just some new-age positive thinking activity. By celebrating our wins and what is going right in our lives, we do two very important things. First, we recognize both to the world, but more importantly to ourselves, that there are good things happening in our life. Too often we can focus just on the negative. Although, this can help us with discovering a solution, doing so without also focusing on what is working can drain us of valuable emotional and spiritual energy. Which is what the second thing celebrating a win first thing in the morning does; it gives us momentum and energy to tackle the day. With all of the negative influences that may come at us, we owe it to ourselves to give our focus to the good in our lives.
Quite often, what you focus on can dictate your drive. I always have an updated version of the map you see above saved on my phone. What is this map? The shaded countries represent where this blog is followed. As you can see by the number, we are also closing in on 100,000. When a particular post does not get as many views as I would hope, or my inspiration to write is not so great, I look at this map. I think of the young person in Peru, or the elderly person in the Congo needing some motivation or inspiration. When you know that others are counting on you to show up, it can give you that extra boost to do so. When you view how many wins you already have, you are motivated to have more. Still looking to connect with some beautiful souls in Greenland. Celebrating all the other wonderful countries that follow us helps me to stay motivated to do so. Hoping to reach 100,000 people. Celebrating the fact we have reached over 90,000 keeps me focused on that goal.
In your own life, do not forget to celebrate the wins. The more you focus on them, the more they seem to show up. Don’t trust me on this one. Prove it to yourself. Try finding a different win to celebrate everyday for 21 days and see what happens in your life. Even if that win is waking up to another day and a chance to do better than the day before. I would love to know what win you are celebrating?
Here are a few interesting facts that I have learned lately. On average, Americans spend between $244 and $313 on cosmetics…every month! The average global income is $9,733. The global cosmetics industry is valued at 571.10 billion! This is a lot of money to be spent in the quest to make us look better. Yet, most of these people do not invest the money, or the time, into the one thing that is sure to improve their appearance – their soul. How does working on your soul, or personality, make you more attractive? More to the point, how can we do it? Let us take a look.
The first thing to consider is what accessories you choose to wear. I am not talking about that expensive bracelet or purse you carry with you. The most attractive accessory anyone, man or woman, can wear is a smile. When you smile, you cannot help but to increase your own mood. When you do that, it is infectious. When you see someone smile at you, it is natural to smile back. We have already mentioned that smiling can make you feel good while you are doing it. So it stands to reason, someone who makes you smile, say by smiling at you, will be a person you will want to be around.
Here is something to consider. You do not only smile with your mouth. We all know people whose eyes light up when they smile. Having a welcoming posture makes you more attractive as well. If you are walking around slouched over, eyes down, with a shuffling gate, you won’t be nearly as appealing as someone who is walking upright, bright-eyed with a spring in their step. Here is another crazy thought. Smiling is not just physical. You can smile with your words. How is this possible? When you are someone who only relays the negative news of the day, or spreads today’s gossip, this will detract from your looks no matter how beautiful you are. On the flip side, if you are constantly speaking encouraging words and bringing out the best in everyone, you will be instantly more attractive.
These suggestions may sound trivial or corny to you. This does not make them any less true. Think about your own life. Would you rather spend time with someone who has a cheery disposition and always has a good word to share, or someone always spreading negative gossip and wearing a frown? I don’t know about you, but I would choose the former. While we are investing in new outfits, cologne, make up, shampoo and other things to help our physical appearance, let us not forget to invest some time and money to increase our inner beauty. Unlike the outer beauty, this investment will not fade with time.
I recently returned from a week in the wonderful country of Jamaica. As soon as I got off the plane, I felt like a different person. Have you ever had this experience? As soon as your vacation begins, stress melts away and life just feels amazing. Whether that is driving to the mountains, flying to the tropics or any other destination. Ten years ago, I asked myself a question you may have pondered as well. “How can I carry this amazing feeling of vacation into the other 50 weeks a year that I am not on vacation?” I have spent every day since looking for the answer to the question, “How do we live like we are on vacation?” The first answers resulted in my book, A Happy Life for Busy People. It focuses on quick and simple ways to reduce stress and increase joy in your life. They all require very little effort and most can be done without spending a single cent.
As the years went by and I continued to learn more, I created my second book, Living the Dream. It took a deeper dive into how life works. How to create the relationship of your dreams. How to create a feeling of inner peace. How to better control your emotional state. How to better handle the challenges life throws at us all. How to develop a champions mindset. If any of this sounds like something you would like in your life, I suggest reading that book. To simplify this, I will put a link at the bottom where you can get all of my books. If you incorporate these tools and strategies, it will help you create a life that feels more like a vacation. Do not get me wrong, I certainly would not mind more tropical escapes with the love of my life, but every day with her seems like a dream come true. Why? We have both used the tools in this book to take our relationship to a higher level and continue to do so. We both are chasing our passion and focused on gratitude in our lives. Which leads us to the final point that will benefit you from reading my books.
With all of the self-improvement books on the market, why should you bother to pick up mine? Why did I even bother to write a book, never mind several, in a field that is already so saturated? Those are questions I get a lot. The answer is a simple one. These books were written based on two things. One, the wisdom of several very intelligent individuals. Some as far back as 500 B.C., some who are still alive today. The other is my own mistakes. That is what started my journey to begin with. My life was in a terrible state. In order to take control over my life and turn it around, I began to read. By ‘began to read’, I mean reading everything I could get my hands on. Here is what I learned. Many of the books told me that when I was in China, it was a good idea to speak Chinese, but they never taught me any of the vocabulary.
My book will not teach you how to speak Chinese. What I mean is that many books will give you practical theories, but not tell you simple ways to incorporate them. I tried the things that I read about. I recorded what worked and what did not. I tweaked them. In my books you will not only get the theory behind them, but step by step instructions on how to implement them in your own life. There are also funny personal stories of how they worked when I applied them.
If you want to change your life. If you want to start living the dream, or living like you are on vacation, I highly suggest picking up one or more of my books. Allow me to be of service to you. I put over two decades of both wins and loses, success and failure in these books. What works and what does not. It is my life’s mission to leave this world better than I found it, and that starts with you. If we can work together to take your life to a higher level, then the world, and more importantly your world, will be a little bit better. You can even share the tools with those you love and help them positively transform their lives. Whether you read my book or another, please never stop learning and improving yourself and your life. It is the best thing you can do to make the world a better place.
Being happy. One thing we often put off. Make sure the work gets done, then we will be happy. Wait until this happens, or that happens then we will celebrate. This is some of the most backwards thinking we can have and why we find ourselves in the state we do today.
I like the thought above – “Be happy. You never know how much time you have left.”That is so true. How many celebrities can you think of who died young? How many people in your own life did not have as long as they may have thought?
There used to be a show on television called 1000 Ways to Die. It showed the unique and often ridiculous ways people met their demise. I never really considered how many ways there are to die. By the end of this show’s run they had shown 500. That’s still a lot. The point is, with all of these ways to take the last train out of town, we should be thrilled every day it leaves the station without us! We should not need a reason or a goal to achieve, to make us happy.
One of the great secrets of an amazing life is switching expectations for appreciation. Instead of chasing happiness this weekend, why don’t we try sitting still and appreciating it. Look around and find all of the beauty and things we can be grateful for. Even if that is just that we haven’t appeared on 1000 ways to die. Although, if we did, chances are we wouldn’t be able to watch our own episode.
There are many things to put off. Being happy is not one of them. When you get to the end of your life, do you want to regret not enjoying it? You may think you have time to fall in love with your life, but do you? Truth is, we don’t know. When I discovered that I needed open-heart surgery, I only had about 2 months to enjoy before that. You never know when life will surprise you with a challenge to did not see coming. If there is one thing to do today, that is to be happy.
We are all looking to use our money wisely these days. With the price of groceries and gas on the increase, every dollar counts. Yet, self-care is more important than ever. Stress seems to come at us from every corner. Turn on the television or look at your phone and there seems to be one stressful situation after another. We need to invest in ourselves and our mental well-being to thrive in today’s world. Any money spent on your own mental and spiritual care should not be viewed as an expenditure, but rather an investment.
Wouldn’t it be nice to invest in your well-being and stress reduction and not have to spend anything at all? A lot of us are on Amazon.com quite often. Who can blame you. There are plenty of good deals, and as we mentioned, saving money is good for all of us. There is one thing you can find on Amazon that will not cost you a thing, but help you reduce your stress, increase your joy and help you become the best version of yourself. That is the Living the Dream with Neil Panosian podcast. All you have to do is search my name, Neil Panosian, on Amazon. You will see all three books of mine. Great investments in themselves. I promise you the value you will gain will far outweigh what you spend to get them. There is one item you can get today, no money out of pocket, that will bring you both entertainment as well as useful life strategies. That is my podcast. As you can see from the picture above, it is 100% free. You can be listening as soon as you finish reading this blog. Don’t worry, I won’t keep you much longer.
Here is a brief description of what you will find inside that podcast. I must add that it will also include items from my third book as well. You can improve your life starting today. You do not have to spend a single thing and all you have to do is push play and listen. You can get to this podcast, as mentioned, by searching Neil Panosian on Amazon.com. You can also click on the link below. I highly suggest subscribing to the podcast so you will be the first to hear the new episodes as they are released. I will leave a link you can click on at the bottom of this post as well. I look forward to being able to serve you and your life on my podcast and will look forward to your feedback. Subscribe now as season two is just about to begin!
Here is a situation that many of us find ourselves in. Someone does wrong by us. They then say they are sorry. Whether that was saying something hurtful, not fulfilling a promise to us that they had or a host of other things. We have also been the one apologizing. Here is a good question to ask, “Are you sorry, or are you sorry you got caught?” What do I mean be this? Let us take a look.
Apologizing is a necessary and important first step. It is not an entire step. Let us take a really simple analogy. If I were to kick you in the shin because I am mad at you, that would be a very bad thing. I apologize, as I should. Does your leg feel any better at this point? Probably not. If I were truly sorry for your actions, I would want to do something to help. Maybe I would get you some ice to put on your leg, or some pain pills? I could help you lay down and put your leg up to rest. I would also have to develop a plan as to what to do in the future with my anger, so we do not find ourselves in the same situation. This is good conflict resolution. Apologize for the wrong. Take what immediate action you can to help repair and correct the wrong. Finally, develop a plan so that in the future you will not have the same situation come up.
We all know some people who seem to be forever apologizing. What is worse, they seem to be doing so for the same reasons. If you apologize for something, and then continue to do that very thing, are you really sorry? You might be, just not for why you think you are. You are not sorry for the thing you did, you are sorry you got caught. If you were truly sorry for your actions, you would do your best to correct them and improve them. That is not to say you would not make another mistake, just not the same mistake. Growing and evolving includes making new mistakes. We are human after all. If, however, you are continuing to make the same mistakes, you are not growing and evolving.
Pay attention not only to the people in your life, but to yourself as well. Are you following the formula for conflict resolution, or are you just saying you are sorry and hoping that fixes everything? A good rule to follow is to not just say you are sorry, but to show that you are sorry. We do so but taking actions to correct the wrong we have done and to put in place plans that will stop us from doing that same wrong in the future. That is how we grow and evolve.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 