Tag: Happiness

IS IT JUST ANNOYING OR IS IT A MIRACLE? ✨️

This past week we have been talking a lot about miracles. Today, I had an example of just such a thing. I would love to share it with you because, although it caused me a good deal of stress at the moment, it really pointed out a great example of how we can miss miracles. We talked about how miracles can often be overlooked because they seem like ordinary things. Today, served an example of how we can lose them in a sea of stress and chaos.

I was returning from one of my many hikes in nature with my mother. Traffic was heavy because it was about rush hour. We were turning from one busy street onto another. As I was turning onto the street, a young man on a bicycle went through the red light and I had to slam on my brakes to miss running him over by mere inches. I honked my horn. The young man, blissfully lacking in care or concern for any accidents he may have caused as well as his own life, did not even turn to look in our direction. My mother and I, on the other hand, had a rather unexpected trip closer to the dashboard and steering wheel than expected. The contents from a craft fair my lovely lady was in shifted greatly.

The rest of the drive to drop my mother off at her house and take me to mine was stressful. For anyone who has almost been in an accident, you know that you get shakes and your adrenaline spikes. My mother was questioning how the young man could be so careless, even after the incident. What we both decided, that it was a miracle that nobody was injured or worse. It would have been his fault, but I cannot imagine the knowledge that I injured or killed someone on my conscious. It was upsetting, and many people would have continued their anger, and rightfully so. That would only serve to continue our stress. We chose to focus on the gratitude that everything turned out for the best.

All of this does not mean we were ignorant to what could have happened. Quite the contrary. By realizing how this could have impacted so many lives and families negatively, only made us realize how much we had to be grateful for. What this did was take us from an emotional state of stress and anger, to one of relief and gratitude. This only helped make our day better. Finding the gratitude in such a crazy situation is a miracle in itself. Focusing on gratitude in a stressful situation is far better for your mental and physical well-being. Stress can drain us and deplete our immune system.

Next time you find yourself in a stressful situation, do your best to find something to be grateful for. It may be difficult at first, but it will save your day and might end up saving your life. Prolonged exposure to stress is the cause of many of our most severe health issues. Anytime you can take actions to reduce stress, or better yet replace it with gratitude, you are doing yourself a favor.

THE MIRACLE OF ORDINARY THINGS ✨️

Uplifting Wednesdays! My favorite day for this site. Every Wednesday we look to lift each other up. Today’s thought is so powerful. Often, a change in our life is no more complicated than a change in perception. This is not to say it is not challenging, but it is not all that complicated. A perfect example is the quote above. We often miss the miracles in life because they have become ordinary. As I write this, I am sitting in a local Starbucks, where I do most of my writing, and I can see countless things that could be considered miracles.

To many of you, this may sound like it is putting on a pair of rose-colored glasses. Maybe, but there is also a great deal of truth to it. Plus, ask yourself this, what does putting on a pair of rose-colored glasses do? It makes the world look rosy! What does that do? Make us feel good. Would you rather go through life feeling good or feeling bad? So how do we get fitted for a pair of these wonderful spectacles and start seeing the miracles that we are missing all around us? I have 2 suggestions to start!

My first suggestion is to indulge in a little bit of time travel. Don’t worry. You will not even have to leave your seat to do so. Take a look at the picture above. The top shows a man in a Ford Model T. Sometime during the early 1900s I would guess. Below is a Bugatti Divo, or as we will refer to it, my next car. Can you imagine taking the man from the top machine and putting him in the bottom car? He would think it was nothing short of a miracle. Even if you put me in the bottom car I would consider it a miracle. This holds true of so many of our modern conveniences. How about a device that would reheat food in mere minutes? Can you imagine how much a mother in the 1930s would have found this helpful? A device in your hand that contains a camera, a computer, a telephone, a pedometer and many other things yet only weighs a few ounces? How about the fabulous internet it runs on? These are all miracles! Look around you and notice how many things would have been unthinkable only a few years ago. As the pace of change in the world quickens, the number of things that will be ‘modern miracles’, as those in the advertising world like to say, will continue to increase.

Although my mother does not enjoy me bringing up the subject, a few years ago I underwent open-heart surgery. In the course of this, I briefly expired and then returned. The whole story is available in my book, The Beat Goes On. Above is a picture of me recovering from such an ordeal. Having tubes stuck everywhere, including in my neck, was not the joyous experience you might imagine it to be. What a gift is was though! Why? It allowed me to really change my perspective on a lot of things. In fact, the whole process occurred due to a string of miracles. Had they not occurred, I might not be here to write this. Steve Jobs said, “You can never connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect the dots looking back.” This can often be true about discovering the miracles in life.

There are so many events that can help us see the miracles all around us. I recall news stories of hostages being released. When they return to their native lands, they often kiss the ground at the airport. Why? Because the freedom they thought they had lost forever was suddenly returned. Do you think they would kiss the ground at that airport when say going on vacation? Probably not. The freedom was still there, but they did not notice it until it was taken away. Same when the Berlin wall was taken down. People rejoiced, deservedly so, at the new-found freedom they had acquired. Do you think many of those people are dancing in the street for that freedom now? No, it has been taken for granted.

Lastly, loss is a powerful way of helping us see the miracles in our life. There is a line from the song “Life is Beautiful” by the band Sixx A.M. that I think illustrates the point quite well. The line reads “There is nothing like a funeral to make you feel alive.” As dark as this may sound, it is uncomfortably true. How many times have you walked away from a funeral with a new appreciation for how fleeting life is and what a miracle it is to be alive. It also helps us appreciate the miracle of those we share life with. When I learned I was to undergo my surgery, and how risky it was, I was at the movies with the love of my life. I recall looking over to appreciate the miracle of her smile. The way her eyes light up when she is happy. The way her cheeks get rosy. These things are miracles. On any given day, I find it a miracle that such a beautiful and amazing woman loves me. Does that mean I never take that for granted? Although I do my best, I am human. All it takes is some time away from each other or reflection on what we have been through to refresh that miraculous feeling.

How about your life? Have you been letting miracles pass you by? I don’t even know you, but I can assure you that you have. There are so many miracles, disguised as ordinary things, that we can’t possibly notice them all. My suggestion for you? Spend some time each day where you stop, put on a pair of the old rose-colored glasses, and look anew at all the miracles around you. It will refresh your soul and may even help heal some of the pain you have. Feel free to share any of the miracles you are celebrating in your life with us.

DO IT OR DIE! 😳

What a title! What could possibly be so important that if we did not do it we would die? Is there really such a thing? The short answer is ‘Yes.’ Do not worry, this is not like one of those social media posts that claim if you don’t share it with all of your friends, coworkers and the neighbor’s dog that you will be cursed with 10 years bad luck. In fact, this is actually backed by science. You will not fall over dead when you walk out the door tomorrow if you do not do this either. What you will do, sadly, is you will call it quits several years before those we do put this simple tool to work for them will. Keep reading to find out how you can not only add more years to your life, but ultimately more life to your years.

According to Equifax, most people live 10-20 years after they retire. That is a pretty good margin. How can we be more likely to lean towards the 20 year side and not the 10 year side? I was having this very discussion with my coworker, Rob, the other day. According to neuropsychologists, having a sense of purpose is one of the greatest predictors of health and wellness in old age. Let that soak in for a while. For those of us who are picturing just laying on the beach everyday sipping cocktails (certainly something to do when retired) there must be more to life. Those who wake up with a purpose after retiring, have reduced stress levels, are in better physical health and age more successfully. Think of it. Less stress, a stronger immune system and a greater sense of happiness. Isn’t that what we all want when we retire?

Work, as trying as it can be, gives us a reason that we must get out of bed in the morning. We have to pay the bills. We have to earn money to go on vacation or to take the lady out for dinner. Whatever it is you are working towards. Sometimes it is working towards retirement. A lot of people are shocked when they get there. It is as if they worked their whole life towards something, and now that they have it, they are not sure what to do with it. If you are thinking that you do not need a purpose, consider this fact. According to a recent study of retirees, having a purpose lowered their risk of death by 15.2%. This held true across different races, religions and ethnicity.

We have discovered that having a purpose not only increases the length of your life, but the quality of it as well. This does not mean you have to work until you die. We ended the last post with a quote from the great Howard Thurman. We included two more from him in this post. I think they give us the answer to living a long and fulfilling life. That is finding what sets our soul on fire and doing more of that. It could be working in the garden. It could be joining a book club and discovering great new books, as well as friends. For me, I know retirement will consist of continuing this blog, writing books and producing episodes of the Living the Dream with Neil Panosian podcast. How about you? What will your grand purpose be when you retire?

Added bonus here. You do not have to wait until retirement to reap all of these benefits. Find something that sets your soul on fire now! At the very least, start looking for that. Once you find it, and start enjoying it, you will experience the wonderful benefits we mentioned in this blog. I know after a hard day working my day job, writing is as much of a release as it is anything else. I love exploring nature and going to the gym as well. Coffee with friends provides interesting conversations. Time spent chasing dreams with the love of my life never fails to be exciting. When I retire, it will be more a transition than an end.

IT IS NOT BIG ENOUGH! 😳

The title of this post may sound a bit critical. To some men it may sound far worse than that. Fear not. There is a benign but still very important meaning to this. It has to do with one of the most important, and powerful, aspects of self-improvement – goal setting. You hear a lot about the importance of goals from many people in many places. Even the bible says, “Without a vision, the people parish.” A vision, is just another name for a goal. Here is the tricky bit. Most of us set goals based on the person we are. This may sound logical. How could we set goals for a person we are not? What is meant in the photo above, is we have to set goals that will force us to grow and become more than who we are.

One of my main passions is to encourage others to share their stories. EVERYONE has a story that would inspire many if they only shared it. Whether that is to show someone how to improve their lives, or just let them know they are not alone in the struggles they face, every single person can be a hero to many. That includes you. One of the responses that I often hear when putting this forth, is “I can’t write a book/start a YouTube channel/write a blog.” The reasons are varied, but include not having enough time. Not being disciplined enough. Not knowing anything about those activities. These excuses may be valid, but only in regards to who you are now. My friend Kurt recently completed his first book. As we was writing it, he learned and developed many new skills. The person he was when he was done, was not the person who started the project. He had grown and developed a whole new set of skills. His book, Nothing is Everything, is definitely worth a read!

Setting goals can be a scary endeavor. There is the thought of how you might feel if you do not reach the goal. Which is better, to fail or to fail to try? Two very important things to remember. If you work towards your goal and fall short of completing it, you have not failed, you have learned and can attempt it again, only full of more knowledge. I like this next fact. When they interviewed people who were close to the end of their lives, the number one regret was not the goals they didn’t reach. It was not even the mistakes they made. The number one regret was the things they did not try. Let that sink in. Do you want to reach the end of your life and regret all of the things you could have done and who you could have been? If my words were not enough to inspire you, allow me to leave you with this great thought attributed to Dr. Howard Thurman.

NEVER LOSE AGAIN! 🦸‍♀️🦸‍♂️

Wouldn’t it be great if you could go through life never experiencing a loss or a failure? What if I tell you that I actually live that life? As impossible as that may seem, it is true. Before you roll your eyes or think that I am joking, let me assure you this is not only 100% true, but you can do it too! This is not to say that you will not suffer heartache. Everything you aspire to accomplish will not always turn out as you had hoped. You will still face struggles along the way. There will still be relationship issues, maybe the loss of a job, or even worse, the loss of a loved one.

If you are a logical person, you might be asking yourself, “I thought he said we would never experience a loss?” As painful as some of these afore mentioned events are, they can be changed from a loss to a lesson. It involves a simple change of perspective. This may seem like I am splitting hairs, but hear me out. Does changing what we call something really change its reality? You bet. No, it will not bring that relationship, job or loved one back, but it will change your emotions about the situation. When we think about it, our emotions are our life. If you are happy and feeling good, your life is good, no matter what circumstances may be. If you are sad and feeling down, your life is not good, no matter how well situations may be playing out for you.

Using Nelson Mandela’s philosophy, we can see how we can never lose again either. My one caveat I would suggest is learning in both cases. Feel free to quote me on this one, I never lose, I either have a victory or a lesson. In both cases, I have learned. We can learn how to be a better life partner when we screw up a relationship. We can learn ways to improve ourselves, or align ourselves better with our passion when we lose a job. We can learn more about living with love, and less with regret when a loved one leaves us. This is not simple hyperbole, I have personally done all three.

If we learn from our mistakes, they are not a loss, but a lesson. Therefore, the only way we can lose in life, is to fail to learn. My relationship with the love of my life would not be nearly as amazing if I did not learn from my mistakes, both in past relationships, and in the wonderful one I share with her. Your relationship will have mistakes and challenges, it just shouldn’t keep having the same ones. The great thing about working for the United States Postal Service, is that they are always threatening to eliminate your job. Why is that a good thing? Sounds rather stressful doesn’t it? In a way it is, but once again, I have learned to put that stress to work for me. It reminds me to never allow my occupation to become my identity. This is a lesson that many of us could put into use. It also motivates me to pursue outside interests. To work on improving myself and my writing. Losing a loved one is never easy. It will be painful and I do not wish to marginalize that pain. However, I recall once I learned to use that pain to make sure that I loved everyone I care about to the fullest in my life, it became a great motivator. The only thing worse than the pain of loss, is to have that pain compounded with regret.

Do what Nelson Mandela does. Do what I do. Never allow yourself to simply lose in life again. When you turn everything in your life into a lesson, not only will it lessen the pain of perceived losses, but help you grow and develop as a person. There is no more powerful feeling to look life right in the eye and say, “I never lose. I either win or I learn.” You owe this to yourself.

WILL YOU SEE IT THIS WEEK? 👀

Tomorrow is Monday. I know that does not thrill a lot of you. Here is the thing, even all we dread is filled with opportunity. The drive to work, even if it is in cold weather such as we are experiencing here, is ripe with potential. If you drive, you could listen to something inspiring. This could be your favorite motivational speaker, it could be a song that really gets you pumped up. It could be an audio book you really are interested in. My suggestion would be the Living the Dream with Neil Panosian podcast, but I might be biased.

Finding the opportunity in everything may sound a bit like ‘positive thinking’ fluff, but it is quite the opposite. Finding the opportunity in everything takes hard work. It is easy to just say, “Poor me. Why does this always happen to me?” and sulk. It takes guts and determination to ask, “How can I put this situation to work for me?” It also strengthens you. I present my recent trip to the dentist as a great example. To me, there are two people in the world. Those who like going to the dentist and normal people. I decided that I was going to use this as practice for maintaining a positive and courageous outlook. It was not easy, but focusing on learning about the procedure as well as the people performing it helped.

When we harness the ability to put all of life’s circumstances to work for us, instead of being victims to them, we control life instead of the other way around. It amplifies our successes and softens the blow of our defeats. Who would not want that? Life will be one continuous upward path to personal empowerment and improvement. It will also be a lot less stressful. Think of situations that you view as holding you back and ask yourself, “How can I put this to work for me?” You will be amazed at how this change in perspective can transform your life.

A LESSON FROM THE LIVING DEAD 💀

One of the many great lessons you can pull out of my third book is this one! When I was told I needed a risky open-heart surgery and that there was a chance I could either have a stroke or die, a lot goes through your mind. They did tell me that it would most likely be a mini-stroke, so nothing to worry about. I recall jokingly asking if there was a mini death that wasn’t much to worry about. That was all too accurate, but that is a story for a different post. If you can’t wait, feel free to read The Beat Goes On by yours truly.

I was given two months notice before the surgery would take place. What was I focused on? Was it making more money? Not at all. Improving my looks? Nope. What became most important was loving the people closest to me and enjoying every last drop of time I could with them. The closer the day came, the less I wanted to even spend time sleeping. Granted, there is not much of that in my life normally. When you know how much sand is left in the hourglass and are keenly aware that it is running out every second that passes, there is a sense of urgency that you otherwise don’t have.

Here is the truth, that is the situation for all of us. Normally, we don’t know how much sand is on top of the hourglass. It could be a week, it could be a decade or more. We don’t really know. Yet, the majority of us walk around as if we have an noncancelable contract with life. Not to be the bearer of bad news, but yours will end someday and we don’t know when.

I did end up briefly expiring. Again, that entire story is in the book. Obviously, I came back to join you all here on the website and type this blog. Hopefully, that wasn’t the sole reason I was brought back, but I digress. Having another chance to bring joy to the world, and extract it from life is quite a blessing. I had to undergo months of physical therapy to be able to get back to living life again. Let me tell you that not a single workout goes by that I am not reminded that even going to the gym is a blessing. Actually, all of life is. It is also a precious one that far too many of us take for granted. Today, you are the youngest you will ever be. Don’t waste it.

SUNDAY PONDERING 🤔

You see it everywhere, people taking selfies. This past weekend, Margie and I saw a little grandma at the diner we were at trying to capture herself in the best light. It can be tricky taking a picture of yourself. Finding just the right light and just the right angle. You want to both highlight your positives and hide your negatives. Margie informs me she takes dozens to find one she likes enough to send to me. I have given up on that a long time ago. After I send my picture, a message about being stuck with me usually follows.

That is why, when I saw this quote, I had to share it with all of you. In a world where we are obsessed with our image, how many of us invest in what really counts? You can make the outside look as good as you want, but if the inside is unattractive, you will be too. On this site we certainly recommend taking care of your physical appearance. Liking what you see in the mirror will have you feeling more confident and willing to try new things. Just as, actually more, important is taking care of the inside. Have you ever met someone who might not fit your usual definition of attraction, but because of their energy and personality, you can’t help but want to be around them? Happened to me when I first met this lady with bright pink hair. Ten years later, I find her the most beautiful person in the world.

How about you? If you could take a selfie of your soul, would you want to post it online? Would it be attractive? Are you compassionate towards others? How is your temper? Do you often do random acts of kindness? How is your level of inner peace? Next time you are trying to capture that perfect likeness of yourself, take a moment to think about how the inside looks.

HOW YOU START MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE 🏃‍♀️

Quite a while back, I did a video for my YouTube channel called Waking up in neutral. I will post a link at the end of this post if you would like to check that out. By the time you are done reading this, it may not be a bad idea.

What is the first thing you do in the morning? If you are like 90% of people reading this blog, you probably roll over and grab your phone. According to recent surveys, 74% of people use their phone as their alarm clock. That number jumps to 83% if you live in the United States. Here is the really scary stat. 80% of people grab their phone within 15 minutes of waking up. 62% grab it immediately after waking up. What do all of these numbers mean? It means that less than a half an hour after waking up, you are letting other people influence your day. What is the big deal about that? You never know if the influence is going to be good or bad.

Once we leave the safe confines of our humble abode, we start to relinquish control of our day. There are other drivers on the road. The road itself. How about the flow of traffic? Once we get to work, there is the mood that the boss and our coworkers are in. Could be good, could be not. The fact is that none of this is in our control and the odds that all of it will be perfect and positive are slim to none. Meaning, the start of our day is the one moment we have complete control over. Yet, as odd as this may seem, almost nobody starts their day with a purpose. They sort of ‘wake up with their gears in neutral’ and let the day happen to them.

One of the ways that we can start our day on a positive spin begins before we even get out of bed. After all, we could stub our toe on the corner of the bed and start a downward trend. Before our feet even hit the floor, we should come up with at least one thing we are grateful for. If this seems like a task that may not be possible for you first thing in the a.m., it would be a great idea to jot a few down the night before. That way, all you would have to do is read a few lines before getting out of bed.

That leads us to our second suggestion. Have a morning declaration. Declare to yourself, and any nosey neighbors, what kind of day you are determined to have. Here is one of my favorites – “Today I will foster my own inner peace and bring joy to others no matter what circumstances may arise.” or “Today I will either win or I will learn. Nothing will defeat me.” It is far more powerful if you say it out loud. It may seem silly at first, stick with it. Looking at yourself in the mirror with a smile as you repeat your morning mantra will have dramatic effects. If you are too self-conscious that your spouse will hear, run the shower. I am grateful that Margie is used to me talking to myself in the bathroom and does it not pay it much mind.

There is so much craziness and chaos in our lives, we owe it to ourselves to start our day out on a positive note. Above is two suggestions. You can start with these and develop ones that work for you. I enjoy some gratitude affirmations with my first cup of coffee in the morning. Oddly enough, Margie seems grateful after I have my first coffee in the morning as well. Please share with us your tips and tricks for starting your morning off the right way. The more suggestions we have, the more likely we are to have a great day!

CLICK HERE TO WATCH MY YOUTUBE VIDEO ON THIS SUBJECT

TIME TO SHINE! 🌞

Way too many of us can find ourselves in the cycle of waking up, paying bills, sleeping and repeating. We are in survival mode. I am as guilty as the next person on occasion. Life can come at you fast these days. I am working on changing that. Not only with this blog, but with my upcoming fourth book. We need to switch from surviving to thriving. Yes, that sounds like a cute self-improvement saying, but what does it really mean?

Thriving means different things to different people. What is universal is that we thrive when we are in the right environment for one. If you put an acorn in a one foot pot, it will not grow to be a huge oak tree. It doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with the seed, it is just limited by its environment. You and I are much the same. What is the right environment? So glad you asked. First, it is being surrounded by the right people. We discussed this a few posts earlier. We need people the both encourage us as well as push us. Haven’t you just been around someone who makes you feel better about life? Spend more time with that person!

Contribution. You want to talk about feeling on top of the world? Find a way to contribute to it. By being the most authentic version of yourself and sharing that with the world. If you bring the best ‘you’ that you can to the world, everyone benefits. There are so many ways to contribute and each one not only makes the world a better place, but makes us better for it! You can contribute your time. This can be helping a cause you believe in, or just giving time to listen to your friends. You can contribute positivity to your community. This can be your online community, or your real community. Better yet, how about both? You can contribute by sharing your story and letting others know they are not alone!

Raise your hand if you have heard that love is the most powerful force in the universe? You can put your hand down now, as people may be wondering why you are reading with one hand in the air. It really is! If you want to raise your vibration, that is start feeling amazing, show someone else some love. This doesn’t have to be buying your spouse flowers for no reason, although might not be a bad move. No, love can be so much more! The great thing about love is that there is an endless amount of opportunities to show it.

Let us take a look at a few. Asking someone to text you and let you know they got home safe, that is love. Going for coffee or a stroll with someone and doing nothing but actively listening to what they have to share. That is love. Sending someone an encouraging text, or card. That is love. Posting encouraging or motivational content online to bring hope to those who may need it, that is love. I can tell you that being an independent author, when someone promotes my books, or leaves a positive review on Amazon, I feel the love. You can show love to friends, your family, your spouse, you coworkers or even complete strangers. Buying a coffee for the person behind you, letting someone go ahead of you in line or even just sharing a smile, these are examples of love.

Living your authentic self, contributing and showing love. These things will not only make you shine, they will make the world a better place for all of us. If you are reading a blog like this, you already know how to do many of these things. Let us be the light for others. In turn, it will help to feed our soul. Please share ideas how you go from striving to thriving so that we may all take advantage of them. Just another way of both contributing and showing love! Leave them in the comments below.