Here is a picture of the calendar that I have hanging at work. As you can see it adds a little splash of color to an otherwise dull space. There is much more to this story than meets the eye. The calendar in question was purchased for me by the love of my life. She bought it for me at a bird show at the Wisconsin State Fair. The profits went to support the animals in the show. They are presented by the Schlitz Audubon Nature Center. They have an array of products for sale, the profits going to support the animals that are found at their center.
Sure, a button would have been cool, maybe a t-shirt. Why did my lady choose a calendar? Besides the fact that I have no need for another t-shirt, no matter how cool, it is a gift that keeps on giving. Each month they feature a picture of an exciting bird of prey. In addition to some quick learning, I am reminded of the amazing show we were at, the fun we had and the fact that the lady in my life loves me enough to surprise me with this calendar.
With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, and the fact that you should always be thinking about great gifts that help keep the love and passion in your relationship, a calendar is a rather cool gift. They have fancy day by day ones, you can even have personal ones made! The price point is not that much, but it serves as a reminder all year long. Already have a calendar? A daily journal could be fun. Anything that can be used daily, or at least on a regular basis makes a great gift to remind someone you care. This year, I have a calendar of tropical locations that I got while shopping with my lady. We are going to take a trip to the Bahamas this year and it will serve as a great reminder of that and other fun we have had, and will have. How about you? Is there an item you have that reinforces positive thoughts and memories?
It is mid-week, time for a little uplifting thinking! How about how to have an amazing life, or at least starting with the rest of the week? You deserve it and it really isn’t that complicated. It is finding ways in which to turn all of the negative energy in our lives into something to be grateful for. That may sound like a daunting challenge, but it is really an opportunity! At the end of the day, it can be a fun game to play with ourselves. Even endeavoring to find the positive in the negative will have us feeling better and looking at life in an entirely different way.
How to do it? That is the question. How do you turn the negative in your life into something positive? There are many ways. I am going to share two of my favorite with you and I would love it if you would share some of yours with the readers of this amazing blog, including yours truly. The first way I turn the negative into the positive is by escaping the situation. This is not always possible physically. If you are stuck at your work and the boss is in a bad mood, you are stuck there. Maybe, like myself, you live where the sun rarely shines this time of year. I think it has been over a week since we had a day where the sun came out for more than just a little while.
If you are physically stuck in a bad, or negative, situation, how can you still escape. By using a strategy that I teach and remind everyone of constantly. That there is no law of physics or biology that states your mind and body have to occupy the same space and the same time. The body, so far as we know, is limited. It can only be where you find yourself. The mind, however, has no such limits. The picture above may sound humorous, but I have honestly used this method to save my sanity on more than one occasion. How powerful is this really? There have been stories of holocaust survivors using this method to make it through one of the worst situations man has ever found themselves in. If it can work in that situation, it can work for you and I. Try it for yourself. Recall a vacation you particularly enjoyed. Do so using as many senses as you can. The scent of the ocean and the tanning lotion. The feel of the warm sun on your skin. The sound of the waves lapping against the shore. The vision of beautiful turquoise water. The flavor of some delicious island food. Take yourself on a mini mental vacation. Haven’t been on a vacation in so long you can’t remember these things? Go buy a bottle of sun tan lotion, make some jerk chicken for dinner or take yourself to a tanning bed while listening to ocean waves. Whatever it takes to make it real for you.
Next is to use the power of gratitude. I know, I know. You have heard about gratitude over and over. Oprah talks about it. It is in the movie The Secret. Apparently, even the author Neale Donald Walsh is in on the subject. Do you know why all of these people are talking about gratitude and why you are hearing about it everywhere? Because it works. Your mind can only focus on one emotion at a time. If you are focusing on what you are grateful for, even for just a minute, your mind cannot be focused on whatever negative crap is going on in your life at that moment.
Another thing that gratitude allows us to do is to get our head out of our butt. Look, I get it, when things go wrong, it is so easy to get fixated on what is not working in our lives. Even if 99% of our life is amazing, we will focus on the 1% that is bringing us down. As we discussed a few posts earlier, according to the National Science Foundation, 80% of our daily thoughts are negative. Those stats are for the average person. We all know people who would fall below average in this regard. Where do you want to be when it comes to your thinking? By spending even five minutes of our day focused on what we have to be grateful for, we begin to create a habit. It is that habit that will allow us to become better than average thinkers. It will have us feeling joyous and abundant.
Use these two strategies to change the negative situations in your life and become happier and more fulfilled than 80% of the population. Using mini mental vacations and the power of gratitude, we can radically transform our life for the better. I would love to know any tools or strategies that you use to turn the negative into the positive in your life. Perhaps they will be featured in a future post.
Just a reminder, no matter how tough life seems, it is not as tough as you!It won’t be easy, it may be rough, but if you just keep going you will get through. Feel free to read through the over 2000+posts on secret2anamazinglife.com to fill you with inspiration and motivation. We are always here to help. If there is a subject you would like us to discuss, leave it in the comments or send us a message.
We are here to believe in you and support you in your dreams!
After a season of gift giving, let us not forget about the person in the mirror. One of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves is to take charge of our own happiness. Too many times we hear people say things like this – “I was having a great day until —-” or “How can I be happy when traffic is bad, my boss is a jerk and the bills keep growing?”
My response to any of this is to ask if you know of anyone who has faced any of these circumstances, often worse ones, and managed to keep a positivedisposition? My second book, Living the Dream, has a collection of stories of people who faced much worse than you and I probably will and are some of the most positive people I know.
The Secret they use, and we can too, is to not let our circumstances dictate our happiness. Be determined not to let others, or even life in general, tell you how to feel. Do not give anyone, or anything, that much control over your life! Make happiness an inside job.
This holiday season, the best gift you can give is to be the best gift! As we talked about last post, by expressing gratitude and genuine appreciation? Who would not want to hear why people think they are an awesome part of their life? The true gifts of the holiday are the times we share and the people we spend them with. Another great idea is to share happy memories you have while you are creating new ones. Maybe start a new enjoyable holiday tradition that will bring joy to all of those attending?
These are ways in which we can bring amazing gifts while being the best gift at the party. Make this holiday the best by giving others inner joy to carry with them not only during the holiday season, but all year long! This is what holidays should be all about. If you have any suggestions for adding joy and happiness to our holiday season, or fun holiday traditions you celebrate, please share them with us in the comments. In this way, you will be adding joy to those who read this blog in over 200 countries, celebrating a wide array of holidays. Here at secret2anamazinglife, we wish you and yours a safe, healthy and happy holiday season.
You hear a lot of people discussing their triggers these days. Things that can set them down the spiraling path of sadness, depression or anger. Maybe it is something that reminds them of a past trauma they still have not healed from. Perhaps it is just an issue they are emotionally attached to? Usually, it is something that may seem innocent or harmless enough to the rest of us. I think Tony Robbins described it best. If someone would walk by and brush your arm, you may find them a bit overly friendly, but beyond that not much harm done. Now, if you had a open wound on that arm, and someone even lightly touched it, you would jump to the ceiling. Triggers are like emotional wounds. Until they heal, they are very sensitive. Unlike physical ones, they cannot be seen. It is important to understand what yours might be for two very important reasons. First, to avoid, as much as possible, putting yourself in situations that might contain a trigger. Second, when you know what your trigger is, you can begin to address and heal from it. Although that can be emotionally tough, it can limit the amount of anguish you will have to go through in the future.
Most people seem to have vast knowledge of things that trigger them or bring them down. Again, probably good, as you want to avoid those if you can. Equally, if not more important, is knowing what makes you happy and feel that inner joy. Here is why this is more important. When you are avoiding what makes you upset, you are not necessarily doing something that makes you happy. However, when you are doing something that makes you happy, you are certainly not doing something that makes you sad.
This also makes use of a principle that I refer to often. It is far easier, from a psychological standpoint, to add something to your life than to remove or sacrifice something. That is why people have such a hard time with diets. They feel like they are depriving themselves of what they want. Do you know what would happen if they just focused on adding healthy food to their diet? They would have less room to eat the junk food. By adding something positive, they would, by default, be limiting the negative. This works for many things in life. Want to see less negative things on social media? Start interacting with more positive things. You feed will be filled up with things that inspire and motivate you. Therefore, there will be less room for all the doom and gloom.
That is why I like the idea of ‘glimmers’ so much. I suggest making a list of what you consider a glimmer. In fact, it would be best to do this with a friend, family member or coworker. Someone you see on a regular basis. Tell them about what you learned about glimmers today. When you experience one while you are around them, say “That is a glimmer!” Share with each other what are glimmers to each of you. Get in the habit of discussing and talking about glimmers. We know what we give our energy to, tends to expand in our life. Why not give our energy to things that bring us joy instead of fearing or avoiding things that might bring us emotional pain?
Start noticing ‘Glimmers’ today. They will add joy to your life and fill your spirit. Find yourself a ‘Glimmer buddy’ to share what lifts you up and makes you feel safe, warm and content. Let us take the focus off of what we fear and put it on what helps us gain hope.
It is the holiday season. “The most wonderful time of the year” as the song says. To many, it is one of the most difficult times of the year. It could be due to the pain they are feeling because they lost a loved one. It could be feeling inadequate because they are unable to afford gifts for everyone they wish to buy for. Maybe it is the stress of planning, attending and getting to all of the social obligations that come with this time of year. Whatever the stress is, there are not many of us who make it through an entire holiday season without some.
That is why I am sharing these 10 tips for reducing stress during the holiday season. Everyone should be able to enjoy that love and peace that comes with celebrating with family and friends. The important things are gratitude for what we do have. One of those is the last tip – the ability to help others. Making the holidays brighter for someone who is also having a hard time is not only the right thing to do, it makes you a superhero in my mind. It will also help reduce any feelings of sadness and depression you may be feeling.
Remember to treat everyone with a little extra kindness this holiday season. There are so many who are fighting inner battles that we know nothing about. If you have any tips that we can use to help us deal with the holiday stress and blues we might be feeling, please list them in the comments below. We can never have too many.
Currently, I am working on my fourth book. It will discuss the tools and strategies that I used to go from a life of surviving, to one of thriving. Many of us, for a wide variety of reasons, are just focusing on living paycheck to paycheck. We show up at a job that does not feed our soul, and often not even our wallet. So sad is this, that the highlight of many people’s day is to go to the bathroom, sit down and look at their phones. This is not how our lives are supposed to be!
What can we do? We have to work to pay the bills. In my next book we will look at several methods to change our perspective, our emotions, and in doing so, our life. Today, I am going to give you a very basic and powerful tool to start with as you wait for your favorite author to complete his next book. Using this one tool can change mornings from something you dread, to something you can’t wait for. If this sounds a little crazy, trust me when I tell you I can understand that. I wake up for work at 4am Monday – Saturday.
What is this one activity? Finding a project that feeds your passion and makes your soul start on fire. The thought of adding one more thing to your already busy plate may seem like the last thing you would want to do, but it will actually give you energy and not drain it from you. This could be taking up a sport like bike riding or pickle ball, which seems to be all the rage at the moment. It could be planting a garden. Maybe working on that book you always wanted to write?
Having something to look forward to doing, either before or after work, will give you reason to make it through the day. It can also serve as a great mental escape when you find yourself at a job that is slowly draining your soul. You know that your passion project will help fill it back up again. It is vital that we have something to give us that inner peace and joy that allows us to make it through all that life has to throw at us. I would love to hear what passion projects you work on to feed your soul in the comments below.
For my younger readers, this here is Robert Plant. He sang for a rock band you may have heard of – Led Zeppelin. I am not sure if he really said the quote above or not. It doesn’t really matter. It is great advice we should put into action this weekend. Monday through Friday we are so inundated with news of the world. This can come from coworkers, family, friends and is even sent directly to our phones. There is war between Russia and the Ukraine. There is one now in the middle east. There are politicians fighting to outdo each other in looking asinine. It is never quite clear who is winning. I suppose it changes depending on the day. Do you know what being up to date on all of this information gets us? Not much. We can carry on a conversation in the office. It also seems to foster a feeling of hopelessness for the human race and a feeling of disgrace for humanity. Sounds fun, right? Not hardly.
This weekend, turn off the news and turn up the music. Do you know what you will lose by not being up to date on the world’s conflicts and the fools often put in charge of them? You will lose stress and a disturbance to your inner peace. Instead, do what Bob Marley advocates, and let the music take the pain away. In my first two books, A Happy Life for Busy People and Living the Dream, I advocate creating a ‘happy playlist’. Songs that lift your spirit and fill you with good vibes. It is my firm belief we should expose ourselves to positive influences at least 51% of the time. Far more than that if you would like an amazing life. Since you are reading a website titled “Secret2anamazinglife” I would surmise this to be the case.
The more we balance out the negative influences we are exposed to with positive ones of our choosing, the more inner peace we will experience. In today’s crazy world, being able to exist in peace is nothing short of a super power. Turn off the news and put on some Led Zeppelin, Bob Marley or music of your choosing. Let the music carry you away to somewhere happy. I know I will be as I celebrate my lovely lady’s birthday. How about you?
What a powerful thought for us courtesy of Anne Frank. In case you are ignorant to who Anne Frank was, she was a young Jewish girl who kept a diary while hiding in an attic from the Nazi invasion in Amsterdam. Her surviving diary gave us a great insight into what it was like during those dark times.
This particular thought is powerful because it is so true. We see people overcome with emotion at funerals. Flowers are everywhere. This is as it should be. Losing a person is the most difficult thing we go through in life. The worse emotion people experience at a funeral is seldom loss. No, worse is the emotion of regret. What we should have said, or the time we should have spent. Regret can haunt us for the rest of our lives. It can also serve as one of the best reminders and motivators to change our behavior in the future.
What should be just as, if not more, powerful is our gratitude for the people we have in our lives. Take one person that is really special in your life. Think about everything you are grateful for about that person. Do this for at the very least 30 minutes. How long do you think that list would be? Just in passing, as I write this, my list is quite long. When you focus solely on what you are grateful for about any special individual in your life, those feelings should begin to swell. When we realize how lucky we are to share life with these amazing souls, we would want to cover the room they are in with flowers!
Still not convinced? Try using the opposite end of the spectrum. Imagine everything you would lose and how much pain and lose you would feel should you lose this person tomorrow. Not very fun, I know. What it will do is help you appreciate the great gifts this person brings to your life. Combine them both and you will be surprised at how you are feeling. It may not make you want to buy them flowers, but it will overwhelm you with a feeling of gratitude for sharing life with them. When you are full of emotions such as this, can you imagine the impact it will have on your relationship with them?
Try doing this with a different person each week. You will see your relationships taken to an entirely different level. Don’t take my word for this. What takes us from the life we have to the life we love is action! Try this for yourself. Just a focused, uninterrupted 30 minutes of gratitude for one individual. Maybe do it for a week straight. They do not even have to know you are doing it. Watch what it does to your relationship with them. Not to ruin the secret, but there is an added benefit. You will be filled with more inner joy than you can imagine. Feeling gratitude is a great antidote to all of life’s trouble. The more we talk about this, the more I am excited to put this into action myself. How about you? Is there someone special in your life that you are extremely grateful for? Don’t you think they are worth 30 minutes a day of your time for a week? You owe it to them, and you owe it to yourself. Take your life, and your relationships, to the next level.
